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TRUFFLEMAKER
3/5/08 11:03 P
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| I have 3 boys. My middle child was exactly as you describe yours (he is 12 now). Definitely check out his diet. Mood disorders can be related to gluten intolerance and other food allergies. Cutting gluten out of the diet absolutely helped with the temper issues (which in our case continued until age 8 when he was diagnosed gluten intolerant--so don't delay!) I would also be concerned about ADHD (my son has that too), but the anger issue may be unrelated to ADHD. Disordered sleep is also something we lived with. In our case, the poor child had a benign but painful bone tumour. That's NOT likely the cause for your son, as the condition is rare, but do follow the sleep problems up with your doctor. Trust your instincts and follow every path that opens to you. Above all, talk, talk, talk to other parents, teachers, caregivers, your doctor, etc. You WILL find help and support to help your family through this.
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JAXSMOMMY1
3/5/08 11:16 A
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| Ima momma of a 3 yr old and I know exactly how everyone feels.The 3's are ten times worse than the twos.My son has to have everything his way or its tantrum tantrum tantrum!!!Ive tried everything to break him from this but nothing seems to work anymore.So most of the time I just walk away and let him do his thing and after few minutes hes forgotten what hes mad about.At the same time though hes the most loving lil man out of all my children.Nothing makes me feel the way he does when he says "I love you mommy"
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CONNIEMARIE72
3/3/08 10:31 A
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| Just about every child in my family got worse at age 3. We all know about terrible 2's but nobody acknowledges the God Awful 3's. My daughter turns 4 next week thank goodness! This past year was a struggle! She is no angel but at least potty training is completely over and the tantrums have slowed down noticeably.
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SKELLEY1024
3/2/08 9:18 P
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I agree with a previous post that "3" was way worse than "2" for my girls. Whoever said it was the terrible twos had not gotten to the 3's yet!
I think that the best things you can do are be consistent in your discipline and try to be as patient and loving as you can. If you can take a step back when he is misbehaving and try not to let your emotions get the best of you then you can make good decisions about discipline and the causes of his behaviours. Good Luck!!! We're all here with you.
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| I went through the same thing with my oldest child. She got kicked out of daycares for hitting the teachers, kicking things across the room etc. I took her to a counselor. He recommended the book "1, 2,3 Magic" and her behavior got somewhat better. Later down the line we find out that she has ADHD. There is more to ADHD than the hyper side, there is also a anger side, which my daughter has. You might want to check with your ped and see what they recommend. My daughter is now 10 and we still have some issues.
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| I have a 4 year old son who is going through something similar, so I can feel your pain. I can't offer any advice, unfortunately. But you're not alone. I'm hanging onto the idea of patience and love being able to solve it eventually. One thing I have started doing is taking special time with just him, and using that time to see if there's anything on his mind... with a little encouragement, maybe he can express what is causing this horrific attitude and behavior. Hang in there!
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| I have a 3 year old boy as well. Since he has been going to school it has helped a lot. Consistency is the word. Trust me I know that it's hard. He used to bang his head, but he grew out of it. I also use timeout with a time (stole that from Nanny 911- my hero!) Good luck to you!
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| I am having trouble with my 3 year old also. He throws tantrums and bangs his head against walls or whatever he is close to. My husband has had to replace two windows in our home because he cracked them banging his head against them. I feel your pain.
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patience and consistency.
good luck!
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| Many different things can be adding to all the things you see coming out in him. The main thing I want to ask you about is why do you think he is having trouble sleeping at night and waking up through the night? My kids are 15 & 13 now but my youngest boy had a very hard time with sleep starting around 2 1/2 - 3. It took almost a year before we could get him to communicate well enough what was wrong and put all the pieces together and figured out he was having growing pains. His did turn very severe and went on for a few years. Now at 13 he is starting to get them a little bit again. I have a 3 year old stepdaughter that is also having them - not anywhere near as bad as my boy did though thankfully. It is such a simple problem that it is very easily over looked, but can cause havoc on every part of your child's day!
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| If everything is fine at home I would look into what is going on at school. It's just a little unusual for a child with mom and dad at home and everything being ok at home to really be acting out at school. Make sure they are telling you everything and that he is being properly supervised at all times. He is too little to explain everything to you and depending on the size of his class there may be something going on at school that is disturbing him that is carrying over to home. Cutting down on sugar can't hurt at all but I would try to find out all I could about what's going on when he's not with you.
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I just wanted to reply to the pre-school tantrums....
How are the other children doing in class? Talk to the other moms. I was a preschool teacher for many years. In my experiecne if a child has time to go to a wall and rip down drawings, there may be something going on at school. Not necessarily home.
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JACKJACK91
2/27/08 2:43 P
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It will become clear to you as you keep a close eye on what's going on in his "little" world, which is so much different from our grown up world. Will keep you guys in my prayers. He's blessed to have you as a mommie!
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LINDSAYANNE0
2/27/08 1:44 P
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I think he gets along with the others in his class like any other typical preschooler - playing fine but they have their "moments", you know. I know if it was one kid in particular, his teacher would notice and tell me.
As for at home - everything is the same for the most part at home. I've been pretty busy at home and don't know if he's picking up on me not being able to devote all of my time to him lately - but Dad is certainly there to play with, and he does.
I've gone over and over in my mind what could have changed lately but I just don't know...
I guess all I can do is try cutting sugar and working on his sleep schedule and then guage from there...?
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My children are now 11 and 12. Reading your post reminded me that the 3s can be worse than the 2s. GASP. Yes its true.
Sounds like you are really tuned in to him. I know that I would remind my girls, that "you are big girls now you cant be having tantrums, you get to use your voice." It can work, trust me. The sleep thing could be that he's taking to long a nap. Or if hes not taking a nap, could be just reaaaaaaly over tired.
I don't know , this is just my experience.
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JACKJACK91
2/27/08 1:38 P
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I hear you Lindsay, I feel your pain. While reading I was thinking, do you think something medically could be going on? Does he complain of anything hurting or difficulty in hearing, seeing etc.? I agree with you that the sugar might be adding to his behavior, but not all it. Also does he have any problems getting along with his classmates, could someone be causing him grief and he doesn't know how to express that to you? What about stresses in the home, anything out of the ordinary going on, has his schedule changed drastically, you know our little guys can pick up on that stuff, but because they can't communicate their feeling, it comes out in their behavior. Just a few things to check out. Hope it gets better for you, but it's good that you are checking into it now before it really gets out of hand. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
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LINDSAYANNE0
2/27/08 12:01 P
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I am just hoping there is someone out there who has gone through something similar or anyone who has suggestions...
My toddler turned 3 in November. His attitude seemed to be getting better for awhile (coming out of the terrible 2's). Lately though he has just been unbearable! He has been defiant, not eating like he should, not going to bed on time, and just all around grumpy! And now I've found out that he's being horrible at school too! He's been hitting, kicking, spitting food, throwing tantrums, and even ripped some drawings off of a wall! I'm embarrassed and upset all I could do was cry after dropping him off at school today. I'm so frustrated and screaming for answers.
He has been struggling with sleep lately - getting him to fall asleep at a decent hour, and he is waking in the middle of the night. So, I'm sure there is the possibility that sleep is causing some of this. The other thought I've had is if too much sugar is causing some of this, along with sleep troubles? I know he's been drinking a lot of juice lately and I'm wondering if the sugar in the juice is causing problems? And his grandma gave him chocolate for Valentines which he has been have a treat or two after dinner or if he goes on the potty, etc. Maybe cutting down sugar will help??
And by the way, yes we do react to him being ugle with time-outs and yes, he's had a couple pops on the rear, too. I've found it seems to calm him better if I sit in a time-out with him, though. And don't get me wrong - he is not like this all of the time - he's a happy kid for the most part. It seems to happen in the mornings and late evenings, and after his nap in the day.
Anyway - anyone else had to deal with such problems or any ideas out there? Does he need to go to the doctor?
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