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| I am a mother of 3 and a nanny of 2 year old tripplets we use timeouts ALL the time ,Just tell him say "hunny time outs are a great way of disciplining a child but she is 2 and right now all she understands is daddy is mad at her and 2 minutes should be sufficant" If he likes you and respects you as a parent he will understand My husband use to put our kids in the room in the dark and shut the door behind him Men don't get it all the time so explain it
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| I would bring it up when everything is going good. Why does it seem that people are scared to speak up. I am not out spoken but i do believe in being real and having my say. If u r in a relationship rather it is new or not u can speak up. I don't understand the hesitation..I notice this alot. I am not picking on u or putting u down I was very curious as to why people don't say what they want. I think if u wait it only causes trouble. Ty and have a great day!
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JACQUE8119
2/12/08 12:56 P
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Hi,
Yes I agree with your time out rule. I am in washington state. I have taken child psychology and so I totally understand that young children don't have any concept of time. I dont think that he is a bad father or anything, I think he just doesn't realize what he's doing when he puts his 1 yr old in time out for 10 min. I know he uses that because it works for him. When he gets her out of time out she starts behaving. I dont know. It bothers me, but I think I will wait until we have been together longer. If it gets serious and we ever have kids together that is something we would have to talk about. Thanks for your input.
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| Oh and just to add to that when you have children you have to think about their wellbeing before your own (of course I know you are doing that here or you wouldn't have asked) The situation could become stressful on all of the children involved because they also need consistency and the situation doesn't seem consistent
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| I am a nanny and I use time outs I have a 2 year old who when he is bad he goes into time out for 2 minutes..... I dont know about the laws in the state where you live but it is considered child abuse in IL (at least in this part) to inflict time out longer than their age. So for example my 8 year old is bad and she gets 8 minutes. The reason they do it this way is because a 2 year old doesn't understand what 10 minutes is and to him 2 minutes is forever to him!! Personally i would say something I know you have been dating only a month but what happens when he starts trying to inflict his idea of a correct punishment on your children? Plus if he is not willing to budge on his discipline practices wouldn't you rather find out now before your kids to to attached making the break up harder on everyone involved----- Basically what I am saying is if you two are going to be long term what happens if he likes the way he does things? So he wont change, the older these kids get they are going to notice that his kids get harsher punishments then they do which can also cause problems for you. It could also potentially cause trust issues between the two of you down the road, lets say you need to go to the doctor and you leave your kids with him, how would you feel about him giving your 4 year old a 10 minute time out?
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JACQUE8119
2/11/08 11:21 P
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ANNIEEGIRL
2/10/08 2:28 P
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| I do think it sucks..cause you know in your heart..that you would not do that if you were the childs mother..and it sucks..but you really have no say. he isn't your child :(
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ONESWEETSHANNON
2/10/08 1:33 P
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| Okay, I'm sorry you felt "butt out" was harsh. You asked how you should approach the subject. The answer is, don't. Wait until he solicits your opinion.
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JACQUE8119
2/10/08 12:47 P
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Shannon,
Thanks for your opinion. However, "butt out" is a little harsh though. I was just asking. I haven't criticized him about his parenting style.
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ONESWEETSHANNON
2/9/08 8:14 P
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| They're not your children, butt out. If he asks you for your opinion or advice, then feel free to share. But no parent wants to have their parenting style criticized. Especially by someone they've been dating a month. Don't bring it up before you become serious at least.
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| I think a child who is almost 2..is way too young to be getting put in timeout.
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Ok so I'm in a pretty new relationship. My BF has 2 girls, one is almost 2 and the other is almost 4. He uses time outs-which is cool, that is what I use. However he leaves them in their longer than I think he should. I mentioned that I use time out put I use the age to determine how long they stay in time out-my son is 4 so he stays in for 4 minutes. The other day his daughter who is almost 2 was really whiney and he tried to get her to calm down and figure out why she was wining but she wasn't cooperating and kept wining so he put her in time out, but he put her in a bedroom and closed the door and let her cry and cry for about 10 min. Should I say something or should I wait until we have been together longer? We have only been together for about a month. Also, how should I approach the subject so I don't make him mad?
Any advice would be awesome!
Thanks
J
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