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SHEBAIRY23
1/4/08 11:20 A
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| My family is nice about my weight and they say they are supportive for me to lose weight but then they ask me to go out to dinner at my favorite mexican resturaunt knowing I can't resist. My mom is also overweight and I know it is hard for her to see me making changes when she is not.
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AGAFFNEYIEHL
1/3/08 11:21 A
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I also do not understand the mean spiritedness - the cruelty amongst people you should be able to count on for love and support.
My 13 yr old and I are the only ones in the family who are not obese. I'm at a 20 lb weight loss which got me in a healthy range (though I still have a ways to go). My daughter is at the top of her weight range. She is very careful about what she eats, she exercises 5 or 6 days a week and is trying to lose some weight/gain strength and flexibility in a healthy way. The other kids in the house are so hard on her - shoving doughnuts in her face saying "here, you're anorexic, you need to eat this". It is so hurtful to her. Being teenagers they are all smart enough to do these things when I'm not around and they make it worse on her if she does tell me things. Very frustrating. I think all of this - regardless of age - comes down to people being bullies. They need to rag on you to justify their own actions or to bolster their own self-esteem. Very sad really. Pathetic actually. While I believe that the negativity they spew will come back to bite them, it doesn't always make it easier to bear at the moment. We are in control of our reactions to their toxic energy. Hurting us gives them more power. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (e. roosevelt). Be stronger, be better and let it roll right off. Take care of yourself and let the rest go.
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| Boy was that mean spirited! Sorry you had to endure that. Stay strong and focused and you will be able to regift those overalls next Christmas!
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TRISTATEGOLFMOM
1/2/08 12:29 P
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For my mom's sake (it is her family) I kept quiet and didn't make a scene. My dad heard the comment and told me just to not let it bother me, but like I told him she didn't make the comment to him. My brother even took up for me, but it definitely ruined my mood for the evening.
Thank goodness I was told by a friend (male) that morning that I was adorable....and that helped a lot.
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ANOTHERJEN76
1/2/08 12:02 P
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That is awful. I never understood why family could be so cruel. 3 weeks after I gave birth to my 9+lb son my dad told me I was fat and needed to go on a diet. For crying out loud I had just had a c-section and hadn't been okayed for any exercise yet. I was just trying to survive each day with a newborn and a 15 month old. And my dad is one to talk since he is overweight, too.
We weigh about the same--250lbs give or take but he is always commenting about my weight yet eats twice as much as me and does half as much exercise. It drives me crazy. He's the one with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and has had 2 heart attack, not me. I actually have low blood pressure, my cholesterol is high but not bad (and my good cholesterol is excellent) and I don't have diabetes.
My husband...he is great about my weight. Every time I mention it he tells me I am fine the way I am. But he doesn't help on the dieting front. he always sabotages me because he doesn't want me to lose to weight and he knows I get depressed when I diet and he doesn't want me to be down. So he always gives in and gets me junk food I don't want. I love him to pieces for it but he needs to be stronger then that, lol, since I have no will power.
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TRISTATEGOLFMOM
1/2/08 11:20 A
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| My grandmother has always made comments to me about my size...."you have such a pretty face...if you weren't so fat, you could get a boyfriend." "I can't buy you as much as everyone else because tents are expensive". This year was no different. She made a comment something like..."everyone knows how much you like to eat" Little does she know that I am doing weight watchers and losing weight. The comments hurt and I will do everything I can to avoid her until I reach my goal weight this summer. Of course, I know that won't be good enough for her, but I am not doing this for her, but for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Michele here's a  for you.
Good for you turning this into a positive and a motivation!
Do I think the person was trying to be helpful - NO WAY - helpful would not hide and they would not turn a holiday gathering into such a bad memory. They should be ashamed!! You don't need their kind of help!
But you have come to a place full of the right kind of help!
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I am so sorry!! That is such a hard thing.
I have never had a family member that said or did anything like that, but I did have complete strangers ask me (several times) when I was due. (I was not pregnant!) That helped me to see the changes that I needed to make. I am happy to say that I am healthier today because of the comments from those (tactless) strangers.
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**MICHELE*
12/31/07 11:44 A
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| I am all new to this and I just need to get this off my back because I did not tell my husband. At Christmas I received a "gift" at my family get together, it had my name on it but it did not have a from name. When I opened it...it was a pair of enormous pair of overalls. As big as I am these would never fit me. It was very humiliating I wanted to cry....but I stood tall and put them aside. I am pretty sure it was a mean joke because nobody would say who they are from. I cannot wait until Christmas next year and they see me and the changes I will have made to myself. So as hurful as it seemed did they in fact help my determination? Ha sanyone had something happen like this? How did you deal with it?
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