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SHEOF3ANGELS
1/1/08 11:30 P
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I definately wear the "SuperMom" cape to often. I do know when I hang it up I feel more stress. I feel less stress when our family life is more organized and my DH knows what is expected. Sometimes he forgets, thats what he says. I do have to remind myself often that he can not read my mind so if I don't make a weekly plan for our family then I might as well hang up my cape. I have to admit I am a product of my mom who has always worked even if it was part time when I was a little kid. As soon as I was old enough I became a latch key kid. I had chores that needed to be done before my parents got home and my homework was done. I have always worked at least two jobs (one f/t and one p/t) while I was single. When my DH and I got together I was working two jobs until I was six months pregnant with my first kid. Yes my DH did and does have a job. I have always been ambitious (maybe crazy) like that. Now that I have three kids (7, 5 and 3) I have alittle harder time managing things. I often loose focus and let things (house cleaning, laundry, and stuff like that) go. Which triggers my depression. I am on meds because without them I am affraid Id be one of those moms in prison. I know this is a new year and I do agree with many that if I can take time to myself to destress I would be more focused. I plan on adding working out to my schedule even if it is for 30 minutes a couple of times a week. I know I am worth 30 minutes a couple days a week. I have a gym memebership that I pay for and do not even use.
I want to use this message board to share stories, offer support, ideas to help manage chaos, or just to be a shoulder to cry on. Heavens knows I have needed a shoulder more than once in my mommy life. I hope some others can find comfort in this message board. From one chaotic mom to others.
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RACHGIRL40
1/1/08 10:40 P
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| I feel like I don't have a good handle on things many times. I have 2 teenagers, a part time job and I help take care of an elderly grandma. Over the years, I have learned that you can't be perfect and need to take time for yourself. Its hard to always remember that.
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I also have 3 children and am working fulltime. I find it hard to find a balance. The expression "good enough Mother" helps me a lot ---- I think that I am a much better mother when I let go of perfection and expectations. 
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 Ya know I have to apologize - retract my previous post or just let you know I have thought a lot about this and really shouldn't have replied so quickly.
After divorcing an emotionally abusive husband I juggled two sons and a very demanding and stressful career. My ex never paid the support he was supposed to and I didn't fight it like I should have - out of fear I never sought the modifications like I should have.
I created a $6mill cost saving process for an international corporation. My coworkers were promoted around me - since my main priorities were my children - and when the time came for promotion again I was overlooked, this time my supervisor used my fathers recent death as a reason for my inability to focus on corporate goals.
My sons have a good strong foundation - they are confident and know they are loved - but are living with their dad now. I am recovering from a nervous breakdown and have lost everything but hope and my son's love.
Please take care of yourselves - and find the strength to ask for help when you need it.
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DOWNTOWN75
1/1/08 10:43 A
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Also in the same boat. 3 children (4 y.o. and twin 2 y.o.), husband, 2 dogs and working full time. I totally use running to self medicate mild depression. Its so easy to feel completely overwhelmed by life in a "regular" day - but throw in a sick kid, or a broken washing machine, or anything that deviates from the norm, and its so easy for things to fall apart.
One thing that has really helped me is sitting down with my husband and talking about how important it is for me to have 3 times a week that I can go out for a run, or do a yoga tape, or a meet a friend at the gym. Time enough to get your blood moving and clear your head, time just for yourself. Good luck!
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| I wish I could quit, but I carry the insurance for our family and I've never done well with the work at home thing (mostly because it usually meant that I had to sell something and I'm a horrible salesperson, lol). My classes are only one night a week, so it's not so bad. Hopefully, I will be changing shifts here within the next year (to day shift) and I won't feel like my days just pass me by. I would love the lotto ticket, if you see that angel, send them my way. ;0) Thanks!
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Hi Mel 9947 - I am in awe of all you are handeling. Is there anyway to drop the job or do something from home? Is there any way to take less classes at once? As for meds, there are some awesome vitamins and superfoods out there that make me personally feel a heck of a lot better. I hope you are giving yourself a lot of credit and pats on the back every moment of the day. You need a guardian angel to give you a winning lotto ticket (or the equivalent) Wishing you a happy new year.
Pam
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| I'm in the same boat as well. I have 4 kids, I work 3rd shift at a local factory 5-6 days out of the week, and I go to school full time. In between it all, it's hard to keep up. I was just diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety back in August. I was horrible at taking the meds, so I just went off of them. I know it probably wasn't a good idea, but I found that if I just took a time out when things started to feel overwhelming (taking deep breaths and telling myself to calm down). If that didn't work, I would leave the room and go scream into or punch a pillow. I know what it's like to be pulled in every direction, so anytime you want to chat, just shoot me a message.
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CAANDAHL
12/31/07 11:31 A
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Hi,
I have a friend who is in the EXACT same boat as you!
It is hard....
I have 3 kids w/disabilitys and between school and therapy,appointments,meetings and then there extra stuff,like girl scouts and horse back riding,I find it selfish to do stuff for myself.
I just recently figured this out...lol
So just take a tiny little bit of you time,at least 3 times a week.
Even if it is after the kids are in bed,maybe you can plan dinners or meditate or read.....(the laundry,dishes whatere can wait)
It realy is a SLOW lifestyle change :)
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LUVNJOYFUL
12/31/07 11:25 A
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Oh SuperMom - maybe the anxiety and depression is because you are trying to do too much.
Listen to what your heart is telling you, your kids need you. Working full time and going to college - how old are your children? Simplify your life - cut back on whatever is causing you to have to be away so much. If you are working to pay for the second new car - lose it! Slow down and enjoy your children and this time with them.
+ Just advice from my heart + I know you are struggling to do the best for everyone - except for you. We all do that.
My prayers are with you!
Joy
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SHEOF3ANGELS
12/31/07 3:58 A
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| Hello! I am a married mom of 3 kids who is working full time and going to school part time to become a nurse. I have been a member of Spark for over a year now and I don't seem to be finding my motivation to loose weight. I work the graveyard shift at a hospital 3 nights a week (normally sat-mon). I know working shift work is not good for anyones diet. Then I switch to day shift when Im in Mommy mode. Im sure having this full plate is not doing wonders for my depression and anxiety. Im just looking for others to share life stories with and possibly get some moral support throughout our Spark adventure.
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