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I love the parenting series "Love and Logic". It's a great tool to learn how to help children make decisions for themselves, takes the monkey off your back and helps keep you as the parent in control and still lets your children know you love them. For example, one suggestion for dealing with your son crying when his cousin leaves is to say "I understand you are sad about him leaving. I hope that you'll be able to stop your crying. Once you stop crying you can find something fun to do. In the meantime, remember that I love you. I'll wait in the other room while you make your decision"...it works! I still use it!
RULE #1
Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, or threats.
RULE #2
When a child causes a problem the adult hands it back in loving ways
In a loving way, the adult holds the child accountable for solving his/her problems in a way that does not make a problem for others.
Children are offered choices with limits.
Adults use enforceable statements.
Adults provide delayed/extended consequences.
The adult's empathy is "locked in" before consequences are delivered.
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JOSHKELLAR
12/3/07 12:26 A
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| Try offering your son choices which always get you what you want. For instance, You can take a bath now or you can take a bath after you get a spanking. I know it sounds strange but a child certainly has a preference. When you give the child a choice of two situations in which you get your way with either door they choose, the child will not feel as though they are being forced to do something and you get the results you want.
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| You are the mom. He is not in charge here. Please try to be more strict with him or you will have major problems when he's a teenager. It sounds like he rules the house so that he can do whatever he wants. You are not being mean when you insist that he does what you say. You have to stop this now. kids need guidance as to what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. If you don't help him learn the acceptable way to do this, you may wish you had never decided to be a mom. My son doesn't discipline his 5 year old and he acts out all the time. Children need boundaries to feel safe and not out of control. Please rethink your style of parenting. Once my girls were molested and I was so distraught for them and felt so bad for them that I could no longer discipline them. Then I read a book about disciplining my children and was able to see that they needed it to feel secure. Good luck to you and your son. When you discipline him, he will know you care. If you don't he will feel out of control...
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i feel so bad my little boy 5 yrs old will cry
when his cousin has to go home and when i tell
him it is bath time and time to brush his
teeth. i just put him in the bath tub anyway
but he is so upset if i make him get in the
bath tub. i told him you have to have a bath
then he gets a fit and screams after crying.
oh i need so much advice. please send it.
i need so much help. mama
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