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MISSGOOD
12/31/07 11:54 A
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| I totally understand! I was there recently too. I agree with the others that have mentioned the Love and Logic books as well as 1-2-3 Magic! I don't have much time to sit and read. I have purchased the Love and Logic books before and read them. This time I went to the site and got them on CD. I listen to them as I clean and do the chores around the house. I found a new patience in me and new approaches to my children. It also reminds you to take care of yourself. With my newly recharged patience I was able to discuss it with my husband and he is listening to the books on his way to and from work. I have a 10 year old daughter who has ADHD and 6 year old step daughter who is retarded with additional attention problems. As you can imagine patience and respect for yourself is a must have in my situation and in yours. Hang in there! The first step is reaching out to make a positive change!
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| I used to yell a lot b/c I felt I wasn't getting through to my son. It never worked. Then i read the power of a positive mom. It was awesome and I use alot of the techniques from the book to deal with him. He has ADHD and can be a bit overbearing at times. All the yelling did was make both of us crazy and mad. Now I can talk to him and he's learning that that's the way to go.
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KIWIBIRD3
12/28/07 12:58 P
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| I so understand you. I am a mom to a three year old and a step mom to a 14 year old. DH works fairly long hours as a plumber and I also work from home about 30 hours a week. On top of that I get to do most of the housework and all the cooking. It really frustrated me that people couldn't see the value in what I do, even though I am home with the little one whenever she is not at kindy (which is 3 afternoons a week) and I also work when everyone else is in bed... so I decided that the best thing for me to do was to relax about things. No-one ever died because the washing wasn't folded the minute it came off the line, because their toys were swept (and I actually mean raked with a leaf rake) into a corner out of the way rather than all being perfectly boxed away, and if they ate some quick meals rather than all gourmet all the time... also that I would be a better mom and better wife if I took some ME time. So I enrolled little one in a daycare for 1 day a week, booked myself some regular counselling (for other issues) and decided that on that Monday I would do a Pilates class, have a bath and do my toenails. Then I can work as I want after that. Suddenly I have time for work and time for me.
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Have you read the parenting w/love and logic?
THat book changed the way I act around everyone.
It is great for special needs kids and they have a parenting w/love and logic for toddlers and one for teens.
It is fantastic!
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SHADOLANIE
12/26/07 4:51 P
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I really liked 1-2-3 Magic, too. When I was a foster mom, it was recommended to me. One thing that stuck out in that book to me was that it said yelling is nothing more than an adult temper tantrum. It really changed the way I behave around the kids.
I hope your family starts working with you and not against you!
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CAANDAHL
12/26/07 12:59 P
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THe best parenting books I have read are "parenting w/love and logic","1-2-3 magic" and "child-wise"
There are a ton of parenting styles,and a ton of differnt resons for "snaping".
I know for me,often my anger is misplaced.
Like my youngest is severly disabled and wakes up at 3am,so when my husband sleeps in until 5:30am,and then wakes up and snaps at me b/c I used all the hot water doing laundry,I think he is being selfish,and I will yell at him,but when I think it through,I am realy crabby b/c I woke up at 3am.
I try to pray alot,and think before I react :)
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SUZANNEYEA
12/26/07 8:01 A
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| I pick my batteles, sometimes I find myself getting all annoyed cause my son didn't listen and then I realize it wasn't really a big deal. Or I give him lots of choices, like if he wants to go play at his friend's house I say "sure, as soon as you clean up you toys." I stay calm too, that helps. Sometimes I will offer to help him, other times he is on his own. Depends on his mood and mine. But, if I get angry and yell, he gets angry and the whole thing spirals out of control.
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I'm sorry that you feel unappreciated at home. Have you tried communicating with your family how frustrated you are becoming? Tell your partner that you need a break. Have you suggested that the older children could pitch in with chores? Even the youngest could help clean his own toys up. This may help eliminate everything falling on your plate. Create a chore chart that they can use to help motivate and track their items.
A very smart woman once told me that "you wouldn't yell or raise your voice to a co-worker...so why is it so easy for us to lash out on loved ones?" When I heard this recently, I really thought about it - it was so true and yet even the best person can let the daily stuff get the best of them from time to time.
Parenting can sometimes be a thankless job for many years. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Keep making time for yourself on your calendar and stick with your work out routine at Curves. Remember that we are the example for our children and they will learn and repeat what we say AND do.
Hang in there and make time for you through your day!
Be well,
Kelly
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GARRISONDOGS
11/30/07 9:39 A
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| Does anyone/everyone feel like they are on the edge of a nervous breakdown? I do!! I am a stay at home mom of 3 (12 yr old girl, 8 yr old boy, 4 yr old boy) who all are in school. (I have been with my 4 yr old's dad for about 6 yrs but we are not married)I decided that when school started back this year that I was going to join Curves (which I did) and have been going regularly. I come home and I clean,wash, fold and hang clothes, sweep, mop, vacuum, clean bathrooms, etc... As soon as my kids and my 4 yr olds dad comes home, you can't tell that I have busted my butt all day and for what. NOTHING! They come in and just take for granted what I have worked so hard for all day. A CLEAN house!!! I understand that kids will be kids but I have been having ALOT of trouble with my kids here lately with doing just the opposite of what I say. Just this morning, my 8 yr old got up and went to the restroom, and I explained that his cousin was still asleep on the floor so I told him to get dressed in my bathroom and do not go back in your room unless he wakes up. Well just as soon as he changed his clothes, what did he do - went in his room and woke up his cousin. That may sound little to ALOT of people but I think for me that was the last straw. It seems like the only way my kids will listen is if I get loud with them. If anyone has any advice on what I can do to improve my parenting, I am ALL EARS, because I know this kind of stress isn't good and can't be good for losing weight!!! Thanks a bunch
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