Based on the information that you have provided, your friend has an unhealthy obsession with her own appearance and her own insecurity and low self esteem will be placed on her child. It's a very sad situation for that child to be in and if your friend was my friend, I would wait until it came back up on the table (which sounds often) and then try to remind your friend that babies/toddlers require much different nutritional needs than adults and (if the child isn't old enough to understand, I'm making the assumption the child is under two) and they grow in spurts and baby fat on a child can be very normal on a child as old as three (when my youngest started to sprout up). Mention that you discovered a website that she should check out called www.kidshealth.org that helped you understand the nutritional and physical needs of children your age and up.
Tell her how you have decided to not mention the word "diet" in your house and that you are so excited to raise your daughter in a house that focuses on healthy nutritional and physical habits instead. That you know by living a healthy balance (treats included), those healthy habits will trickle down to your daughter too, allowing her to have a positive self image versus being self conscious and insecure.
Good luck and keep us posted, Kelly
AAANA1 9/12/07 11:53 A
You might have a conversation about baby health in general, but "confront"... no... just share information.
STACEY_MNTX 9/12/07 11:46 A
My friend and I have daughters that are two months apart. My kiddo is long and lean like her daddy, my friend's kiddo is a little shorter and still has what I would consider baby fat. She is in no way overweight or outside normal limits for weight. The problem? My friend is CONSTANTLY comparing the two girls - saying things like "Look how skinny [daughter's name] is. I wish [her daughter's name] would lean up a little bit." or "Yeah [her daughter's name], doesn't fit in anything designed for her age. She's just a little porker." And my favorite: "She eats all the time. If we didn't control when she ate, she'd eat all the time. We don't let her have cookies or juice because she'll just get bigger than she is right now."
The girls are not old enough to understand what she is saying, but I am concerned that her daughter will very soon understand and will develop low self-esteem or possibly even an eating disorder. This little girl is NOT fat. She is perfect just the way she is and I wish my friend would not make such negative comments about her. What should I do? Should I explain the possible consequences of her actions or just ignore the comments?
