HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!PROBLEMS WITH 6 YEAR OLD
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SNOWKAT 9/4/07 1:55 P
so jennifer...what was the result??
JENNIFERR75 8/29/07 2:23 P
I have a testy 5 1/2 year old too...he's definitely pushing buttons these days, however I'm partly to blame for not providing any summertime activities. K starts in a week and I'm hoping to see the changes I saw in Pre K soon.
PS...he too is an only child.
DRMOM1972 8/29/07 2:17 P
I have three sons ages 13,4,2. My 13 yr old had similar troubles but it wasn't until second grade I think the school gave up on him, and recommended the "ADHD route" he was an a number of meds during school time. Non helped...My 4 yr old just in pre-K was more so like your son, and they have him now on ritlin by day and another pill to help him rest at night(other wise he'd be up 24-7)this way he is out around 9,even after putting him down at 8, but still up early...by 5 or6. I am glad for your post I am going to look in to some of the suggestions as well...My 2 yr old so far is ok, but they say ADHD/ADD is a family thing...SO I am sure we will have some things with him soon..
ERICPOOH 8/28/07 6:10 P
Dear Jen:
I had the same problems with my son. Sounds so familiar. He's in second grade now and doing much better. We went to many psychiatrists and have gotten a lot of advice. If you would like I can try to help you. This is not regarding a lot of medicine just support and stuff.
JADZEAMAY 8/28/07 2:17 P
Cammomile tea is also a soothing option nut you don't want to give children too much of it.
CUDA440 8/28/07 11:12 A
My mom just gave me another book called Raising boys by Dobson. I just started in the first chapter it explains how boys think. They don't think of the dangers first. One mother asked her son "didn't you think you could fall and get hurt" his response "but I may not" That just stuck in my head. I have a 3 year old and 1 year old who have NO FEAR. He is also a HUGE tester, to see where the limits are.
But yes I agree that you have done the right thing by going to the health food store. I know there was a few around here for calming child supplements, and a couple others. I haven't tried yet.
Hang in there. Beckie
JADZEAMAY 8/28/07 3:57 A
Have you had your little guy checked out for food allergies? A friend had a little bot, same age, that had much the same thing going on in his life. He was getting down right violent with other kids. Hit my daughter over the head with a shovel. I had been reading in Prevention magazine about reactions in children to foods. One little boy was found standing at the head of his mothers bed in the middle of the night just staring at her. He didn't even know he was out of bed. She had him into the Dr. and after much testing they found out he had several allergies to different foods. My friend was getting frightened as she was expecting another child and didn't know what her first son would do to it. I told her what I had read and she took him in and he also was allergic to several foods and his terrible behavior was a side effect. I know many will scoff at this, but I know that when he was taken off all foods he tested allergic to, his whole personality changed and he was more trustworthy with other kids and a pleasure to have around. I also have a step-grandson with ADD ADHD and he has to be on meds. Each precious child is different but it wouldn't hurt to have him tested for foods that may be harming him.
BRIDGEMIK 8/25/07 3:40 P
OK, I am sure I will be unpopular for my opinions, but I have 2 severely ADHD kids. Yes, we tried the diets, the supplements - you name it we probably tried it. In the end we did turn to meds. I DO think you need to look at options before meds, but there are times that the meds are the answer. I'll tell you, my kids are happier than they have ever been. No, they are not zombies - if the meds are correct, they won't be. The way my 11 year old dd puts it is that the meds give her an extra second to think before she does something. That extra second enables her to see if it is a good choice or bad choice. Both kids test off the charts and are straight A students in advanced classes. Both are competitve soccer players that train 4 days a week and compete on weekends. Structure and activity are key.
I know it is a frustrating time when you have a child misbehaving and in trouble. Hang in there and try different things. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk - I promise, nothing you or your child does or thinks will surprise me! I've been through it all!
TRACY_Z 8/23/07 9:03 P
Jennifer, sounds like you have taken a step in the forward direction! Like somebody pointed out, baby steps! Let us know the progress! I'm sure it's not all downhill from here, so come vent when there is a downhill moment! BEst of luck!
Tracy
LAZYCHOCOHOLIC 8/22/07 4:25 P
Jennifer, I just read your posts, and I am feeling for you.
I have a girl, who was the same way. I too didn't want to do the med thing, and looked for other ways to change what was going on. After some dietary diarying, we figured out that she had a sugar allergy. Like if we went to a birthday party she was fine, a little hyper, but still good. Then 10 minutes after the cake, Zonkos!
It's almost as if there is an ABC and she would go AC and run completely over B.
She also is advanced, which is why she would do stuff, just to find out what would happen, or how it worked. Like the paper towels. Mine actually counted the roll of toilet paper sheets to make sure the number on the package was right.
We had a doctor give us a note to take to the school which listed no sugars. And she was able to focus in school. And when she got done with her homework, she could have sugars, because I am the mommy and I love her, and I didn't want to deprive her, but I didn't want to make school a hard place for her to be. So as long as we didn't have anywhere to go, she could have sugars after homework.
She is now 13 and in all advanced classes. And she has learned how to control it herself. She knows when she should and shouldn't have sugar.
I just want you to know you are not alone. I remember how that felt.
Keep your chin up, hug your boy, Kate
LADY~JENNIFER 8/22/07 2:17 P
Thank you all sooo much. I was so stressed yesterday.
I did take him to a store called Stay Healthy. I asked about herbal supplements for his behavior. The lady was awesome and put me in touch with a doctor that specializes in Behavior Medicine and Neuropsyshophysiology. Anyway I have to call back this afternoon. I'm going to schedule an appointment with him for my son. I also got a supplement called Pedi-Active and Tranquil Child. The Pedi-Active helps him concentrate and the Tranquil Child helps him sleep. The first thing the lady told me is that he hears everything around him. That would explain why he doesn't answer me when I'm talking to him. He's not ignoring us like I thought. She also stressed the importance of his diet. So last night we sat down and he drew different fruits, vegetables and meats. Tonite we are going to work on dairy and grains. We are also writing down what he eats everyday. He thinks it's cool because I'm doing it too.
Hopefully we are in the right direction. I really want him to achieve and have a great year in the first grade. Thanks for listening and responding. I was starting to feel like I was failing. I'm glad I can come here and have so many people that understand. Thanks again.
SPARKLSPD 8/22/07 2:14 A
Sorry you are going through a rough time. What exatly is it that your son does in school/camp? There can be different reasons for different behaviors. I would try contacting his school and asking for help. Anytime I had an issue with my two chilren the school was always there to give advice. Hang in there, it does get better
STUMPT72 8/21/07 10:55 P
As a second grade teacher, I know that things with young boys (or girls) aren't always the easiest. Personally, I would NOT send him to a doctor until you AND his teacher have read the book "Why Gender Matters" by Leonard Sax. It describes the differences in the male and female brains...SO...if he has a female teacher, many young boys are commonly misdiagnosed as having ADHD when taken to the doctor. The most interesting difference (for me) was the difference in hearing...it is quite possible that your son may truly not be hearing his female teacher, and therefore is acting out due to that. Check it out! I will admit that I can see huge differences in children on days they have their medication and days they don't. I agree that it is much easier on days they take medication, but unless that was the last resort for my child, I would wait it out until you have read the book. Sometimes, it is also just a matter of maturity. Another suggestion would be going along the lines of Cassidy's Mommy by making sure that it is not something in his diet (typically red dyes) and by making sure that every day, every minute is structured. I read something once about a diet similar to the one she mentioned where the children are supposed to begin each morning listening to rhythmic music, finding the beat with a drum. It also mentioned something about being able to chew gum all day (even in school) to help release energy. Sorry I can't remember the name of it. Stay positive! Things will work out, and he needs your support! I know you're busy, but maybe try enrolling him in a program where he can channel his energy into something positive (sports, karate, etc.). Remember to take baby steps! His behavior can't change in an instant...it is something he has learned, and it will be hard to break!
CASSIDYSMOMMY 8/21/07 9:15 P
There is a diet out there I've heard of (I had a friend who followed the diet with great success) that is supposed to help ADHD children without giving them pills. It's called the Fiengold diet, I think. Anyway, supposedly ADHD is just a type of allergy (?) or at least can be controlled by feeding a child differently, such as no carbs in the morning, or something..? I don't know. I just know that they weren't allowed to eat oranges for like, two months. :) Just a thought.
TRACY_Z 8/21/07 9:14 P
Jennifer...hugs...i"m sorry your are going through this, really! I have a 6 and just 8 yr old boys (and a little girl)... some of their classmates have had quite the time...so don't ever think you are alone in this! Maybe ask the teacher if one of the other hyper (or whatever description) childrens parents would mind calling you for some tips or advice? It's one way...
another thing, I WOULD go to the pediatrician with this...no doubt....I doubt THEY would dx your child...they would refer you to a child physc. (I'm kinda with your, scared of anykind of dx like that and the drugs that follow). You don't HAVE to do the drugs...they CAN give you alternative tries at things they are trained with (at home and at school practices). I do have one good friend who has 3 boys...2 are adhd, one is not. The 2 are on meds, and WHAT a difference...the only thing is....they DO have their effects (sleepy, zombie, etc..) it does wear off around 3 pm though....for her, it's better than the boys being crazy and in trouble. Now they can concentrate (because there is a LOT of learning going on in 1st grade!) and behave.
Also, about foods..yes...allergies can play a BIG part in kids behavior. They mostly take a long time to be dx'd though, I think it ends up being mostly a 'last try' type thing. I'm SURE you could find TONS of info on the net...but sugars, processed foods, wheat, diary, things like that. I would maybe keep a food journal of ALL he eats for a week or a month. It would be a great start for that direction...you could cut out things two by two.
I wish you the best of luck! I really hope you can work this out!
Tracy
LADY~JENNIFER 8/21/07 7:31 P
Hey Sherri
I haven't let it bother up until today. I honestly thought it was that he was bored at school. He has 101 things to do at the YMCA and today he decided to pull all the paper towels out of the dispenser and get behind someone while they were walking on the treadmill. What is wrong with him? We do positive reinforcement at home and time outs. I do not agree with whippings, but right now I could give him one. I'm going to the herbal shop tonite on the way home and see what the lady has to say. I asked her if there was anything to "calm" his nerves. I worked at an Herbal supplement company for 3 years and they had a product to calm nerves. It worked really well. If I wasn't pressing for time, to get this under control I would order it, but it has to be shipped etc. I feel so bad wanting to give him something. Gosh.......I'm so lost
LADY~JENNIFER 8/21/07 7:26 P
Hi,
The red yellow green card thing is what his kind. teacher did. He got red everyday. At first I thought it was because he was bored. His teacher said he is way above in his class. Now he's at the Y acting this way. I'm ready to scream or cry one. He's an only child--everyone says that's it. Well, sorry there's no more anytime soon.
His daddy and I work full time and it breaks my heart to have to discipline him 10 min after not seeing him for 10 hours. I'm afraid to go to a doc, because of the ADHD diagnosis. Not sure if I believe in it.
I did call a herbal shop where I live and the lady said it could have a lot to do with what I feed him. Not sure. GRRRR
Thanks for the advice. I just want him to have a good year in school. He is so smart.
WASTINGAWAY 8/21/07 7:10 P
Hi Jennifer,
I had the same problem with my 7 yr old son when he started kindergarten. He visited the principal office 18 times and had in school suspension 8x's. I thought I would pull my hair out. He would not listen to the teacher & was overly hyper. It did get better in 1st grade but he had to have a teacher with allot of structure, I don't know how much input you can have at your school but I would find a teacher like that and request for him to be put in that classroom.
If you need an ear just sparkmail me.
Sherri
CASSIDYSMOMMY 8/21/07 7:10 P
That's a tough one. Have you asked him why he's behaving that way? Sometimes they'll surprise you with an answer. He may be having social problems at the camp, such as hanging out with boys who are not well behaved, or getting teased.
I used to do a green light red light kind of thing. I had three cards, red, yellow, and green. Every day started with green. He also had a cup with three marbles. If he misbehaved in a way that hurt another person, it was an automatic red. If he used bad manners, it was a warning (a marble taken out). After three marbles were taken out, the card changed to yellow. So on, till red. Five green cards in a row meant bowling night with Daddy. A red card meant a quarter docked on his allowance.
Any variations work, of course. Either way, this worked pretty well for me.
I hate to say it, but I think 6 year old little boys are just kind of like that. At least, in my experience, 6 is always hard. :)
Try to keep in mind, the more frustrated and angry you get, the less likely he will want to change his behavior. Praise goes a lot further than punishment. Good luck and stay strong.
LADY~JENNIFER 8/21/07 6:06 P
Ok, I need help from everyone. My son is 6, will be 7 in December. He had major problems in kindergarten and is getting ready to start 1st grade next week. He is attending summer camp and we have nothing but problems there. He doesn't listen, he gets into things and it's gotten so bad they called me today. If he's bad tomorrow they are throwing him out. What do I do, I have a full time job and I can't handle this! He doesn't act this way at home, or may he does I'm just too lienent. He's the only child.
