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BODYANDMIND
9/4/07 8:49 P
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| I appreciate all these tips...my nephew is now a week old (sis was in labor for 24 hours!) and I can't wait to visit. She is EXTREMELY laid back, especially about cooking/cleaning, so I think I should be able to do that for her. It's great to get these other creative ideas too!
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Since it is her first baby I suspect she doesn't even know what she really needs yet. As the other posters have said....she'll want to shower and sleep...so if you can take care of the baby while she does that...it will be great.
As for cooking & cleaning - you know your sister you decide. Just don't make her cook for you..she'll be tired.
other ideas..
- subscription to a photo studio (Sears and JcPennys have great affordable packages
- a framed photo of you and her as sisters
- magazine subscription to a parenting magazine
- skip the clothing...she'll get lots of that and the baby will out grow it fast.
Good luck!
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MAGGIEBLUE
8/31/07 10:26 A
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I'm with some of the others...I didn't really want people hanging around in my house. Those first days at home especially are about bonding with the baby. I didn't want to feel like I needed to get up, get dressed, put make-up on, clean up (regardless of whether someone was coming to clean up for me, I would have cleaned up first). My in laws stayed with us for a week and it was AWFUL. They were no help. I ended up cooking and cleaning, and of course not sleeping and taking care of a new baby. As for the massage...personally I had 3 hours of massage leftover from before I gave birth, and I never had time to get it done. (Assuming I would have left my baby with someone so soon, which I probably would not have. Especially since we nursed, and were just getting the hang of it)
Gift certificates for me were good bc once we got settled and learned how to parent, THEN we could go to the store and get what we didn't have. (Sometimes it takes a little while to learn what you really need, and what is a waste of money) Prepared meals in disposable containers might have been helpful...especially since I didn't care about calories or anything like that right after the baby was born. Of course anything cute...clothes, hats, etc is always fun to open. One of my cuter gifts was a wine bottle gift box, but when opened it was a baby bottle on top filled with candy, and then little presents stuffed under that. Very cute.
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SASSY_CASSIE
8/28/07 11:42 A
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| I am a new mom of 3 weeks and what I would have loved to get is a gift certificate for a professional massage. I love going and having them but do to unpaid maternity leave had to give them up. Maybe you could call and have one scheduled for her for while you are there and watch the baby for an hour while she gets it.
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PP all have fantastic ideas, but your VERY best bet would be to ask her what would be most useful. I'd offer these as suggestions, but leave the final decision up to her. That way, if she doesn't want someone else cleaning or cooking (my SO would have died of embarrassment if someone came over to clean for us!), she can tell you that.
The best help I got was reassurance that I was doing a great job and could manage. My MIL was constantly undercutting and I had/have PPD, so it was a big deal that other people were there to say good things about my parenting.
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MUSICMOM1958
8/20/07 6:18 P
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I remember being very sensitive as a first time mom. I had c-sections and was very tired. I was also nursing my baby, so I was the one that got to feed her.
My mom came and ran the house well. She also let me make the menu plans and cooked what I chose (kinda nice). The only thing was that she tried to get the baby to sleep as much as possible during the day and then the kid was up half the night! Ack! Turns out that in the hospital, the graveyard shift is the one that does the bathing and taking blood for bloodtests. There are lights on twenty four seven. So the little ones come home with their days and nights mixed up! On the second child, we got wise and encouraged her to be awake during the day and asleep at night. Much better.
As much as possible, she let me care for the baby and did the other things that needed doing. That was helpful to me because I was just getting the hang of this motherhood thing! And I did love the time to take a shower and pamper myself a little while someone else was there to watch the baby.
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PANDAGIRL81
8/20/07 3:49 P
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| I didn't like people doing things like cooking and cleaning for us. I like to cook, and I know I cook well. Other peoples cooking isn't always up to my standards. And when it comes to cleaning, I'm a neat freak. Things have to be done a certain way, and I'll know that everything is really, really clean. Lol. And my things would be put back in the correct places. I did, however, enjoy people keeping an eye on her while she she was sleeping so I could take a long hot shower or bath. That was the best! And also having help with poopie diapers, lol.
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See, I did not like a lot of people around doing things for us. My mom came over every day for the first week and a half but my husband got 2 weeks paternity leave. My mom cooked every night but all I wanted was Chris to help out so I could sleep during the day.
I would rather get something like spa time or a pedicure to use whenever I felt up to it.
I would have asked for more space for a few weeks!
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All the suggestions so far have been really great ones. Cooking and giving her time to simply nap or shower are huge gifts to a new mom (especially since this will be her first). If you wanted to give her a tangible gift, ask her husband if she has a salon that she prefers and see if they offer general gift cards that she could use on herself for any of their services. I remember after my first child was born just feeling very tired, run down and typically just felt "sloppy". Being pampered with a nice hair cut or massage can do wonders for a new mother's spirit!
Enjoy your visit with your sister and your new niece or nephew and don't be afraid to ask your sister what she's the most comfortable with you doing to help.
Kelly
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AUDREYSMOMMY
8/15/07 11:10 A
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I totally agree with the previous post. I have a 17 month old and would have been thrilled if someone would have offered to help with the laundry and cooking during the first couple months. Cooking and freezing food is a wonderful idea.
Also- just watching the baby while you sis takes a shower will be amazing.
Just doing the household work so you sis can take care of the baby & herself will be an enormous help.
Your sister is very lucky that you are so thoughtful!
You have to understand- at one month old, you sister will be lucky if she is getting more than one hour of sleep at any strech of a time. She won't be able to take showers or other basic hygine things...and shopping and cooking...forget it.
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| For me, the most helpful was the cooking/cleaning. Mainly the cooking. If you could make a bunch of meals and freeze them for her that would be great, she can take one out, defrost it, cook it and eat it. And the cleaning was a huge help bc that helped me concentrate on taking care of the baby and nothing else. Just being there for her will help her out a lot. She will be able to do things and not worry about her child.
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BODYANDMIND
8/15/07 10:31 A
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| My sister is due with her first baby in five days. She lives on the other side of the country from me, but I'll be staying with her for a week in September (the baby will be 1 month old). I was planning on just giving her a Target gift card (I'm generally a very practical person), but now I'm trying to think of more "special" things I could bring with me, or things I could do for her while I visit. Do any moms or dads out there have ideas on what would be the most helpful? Thanks!
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