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Hang in there... Try to remember that kids usually "hate" their parents at one point or another and often take things out on those they love the most. You are "safe" for her... she knows how much you support her and trusts that you won't abandon her if she says mean things to you or about you. I'm glad to hear you have a therapist involved and are doing all you can to get her on track. I'm sure you must feel completely overwhelmed, angry, etc... who wouldn't?? It sounds like you are a blessing in your s.daughter's life though - how lucky she is!! Don't give up or give in!! 
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LYNNCHEUNG
5/26/07 10:33 A
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| Don't have an answer, but don't give up hope!
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ANGELICWINGS68
5/26/07 8:53 A
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| Thanks ladies for listening.. the therapist says she has abdoment issues.. her mom left her when she was 4.. and told her see didnt want her.. she could not deal with her.. my heart goes out to her.. to feel rejection from your own mom.. I had a very long talk with her yesterday.. I am trying to spend more time with her so she does not feel unwanted or unloved.. I think all she really wants is for her mom to love her.. maybe she is thinking that if she acts out.. we will send her to live with the mom.. (NOT HAPPENING).. oh well.. such as my life goes.. Thanks again ladies.. I justed needed to vent..
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I had a niece in a very similar situation. Her mom and dad divorced. She lived with her dad because her mom would rather party than take care of her. Her dad soon invited his new girlfriend to live with them. Her personality changed so much. She played the part of a wild child--stealing, cussing, skipping school, staying out late, etc.
She saw me as that 'older sister' type of person and used to share her frustrations with me. Her biggest problem was not feeling loved. Her mom was basically off to reclaim her own party days. And it didn't help matters when her dad brought his girlfriend into their house. My niece felt like no one gave a damn about her anymore.
In some ways, she was being overdramatic, but hey that's a teenage girl for you. And to her, her feelings of loneliness were very real. Long story short, her dad married the girlfriend, but my niece never accepted it. She ended up running away and got messed up with drugs (and we think she may be prostituting herself, too).
It's rough sometimes trying to blend two families. I'm sorry, I don't have any answers. Just keep hope and keep love in the house. And if things get too hard to handle, then maybe you need to cut your losses and move on. (But I hope it doesn't have to come to that.)
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SHAUNNA_LYNN
5/25/07 3:13 P
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| I also have a step-daughter, she is 6, and does not live with us full time, but I understand where you come from saying you love your step-daughters like your own. I love mine just the same as my other 2 kids. I don't know what to say about your problem, it has got to be very hard on you, especially since you have the new baby, and you aren't getting to really enjoy your time because of the current situation. I think that you have already taken the big, important steps to help her, I hope that it all works out for the best, Good luck.
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ANGELICWINGS68
5/25/07 12:11 P
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Well were do I begin...we have 5 daughter in our house.. I have 2 girls 14 and 11 and my fiance has 2 girls 12 and 10 and we have a 3 month old together.. I do not like to use the word step.. but in this case I will.. both of myt SDs have issues.. the 10 y/o has ADHD, ODD and anxiety disorder as well as being developmentaly delayed.. the 12 y/o has ADD and soo many other issues.. she is the one I need to vent about.. I treat both of my fiances girls as if I gave birth to them.. I try not to divide the kids since we all live together as a family.. but the 12 y/o has been having anger issues at home.. stealing issues at home (my jewlery.. the other girls bath and body lotions... money and food) as well and lying all the time..and yes I said she was 12.. we have been lucky since she was only doing this at home.. but now it has carried over to school.. she now stole a girls wallet with 25.00 in it and will not confess..the students parent came in to the school demanding her to return the wallet.. The student asked our daughter to hold it for her.. and later yesterday at dismissal the principal saw her with it.. but she states she does not have it and someone must have taken it from her..yeah right... I tore her room apart looking for it and could not find it.. this really ticks me off.. she just had a bday and we got her an Ipod.. and now come to find out she is stealing things at school.. this is on top of her writing a note about 5 kids she wants to kill at school..so..the school pressed charges and she was suspended..part of her punishment while she was on the suspension was to write a 500 word essay on why she did this and what she learned.. she had the nerve to write in a notebook how much she HATES me and what a B**** I am .. ugh omg.. we have intensive in home therapy now.. for the family as well as for her.. we are going to get her a behavior mentor for the whole summer.. and the therapist is sending her to camp for two weeks.. this is tearing me and her dad apart..he doesnt thinks she is as bad as they are making her out to be.. I dont know what to do.. or how to feel.. she is like my own.. I have done more for her in the last 5 years than her mother ever has .. yet she hates me.. grrrr... I just feel like giving up.. I dont have the strength or patience to deal with this crap anymore.. How bad is that?? well I am sorry for venting.. I just needed to get this out and off my chest.. thanks for listening... and any suggestions would be great..
Sally
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