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SHEOF3ANGELS
12/1/07 9:54 P
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| Thank GOD I am not the only mom who is struggleing with potty training. I read all the posts and thanks for the idea's. Glad to know she won't be 18 and still in pull ups.
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MOMMIEOF03
12/1/07 8:42 P
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| I just got my three year old potty trained. I started by taking her to the potty every thirty minutes. I know that it canbe a pain,but I did it and during the day I put her in painties I went through a lot of laundry soap. She just felt like a big girl when she had on panties. I bought her panties with Dora on them she did not want to pee or poop in Dora, so when she did I told her that Dora was going to cry and eventually she started telling me that she ahd to go potty. Please know that I have an older child and a full time job, so I know that every thirty minutes is crazy but it worked. Good luck and stay positive.
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| Yea, I'm pretty much just going with the flow and reminding her and making her go every 2-3 hours or so...and for the last couple days she's done VERY well...I think we're near the end!!!!
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| My son was 5 before he decided to be potty trained. my wife and I would worry we'd be changing his diapers while he was in college.... We chatted with the pediatrician and kept him in the loop. he suggested getting him tested/evaluated for a learning disability. it is a possibility. Any way it worked out, my son now loves to use the potty, and gets to start kindergarten in the fall. We tried the stickers, the "potty party", the candy, the pullups, the regular undies and nothing worked. he just did it on his own.
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HELLOTAMMYMARIE
7/6/07 8:29 P
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| my kids really enjoyed sticker charts and also fancy underwear and for your daughter frilly underwear or the latest barbie dora or maybe bratz characters underwear..and the potty chair in front of tv is a good idea someone said that before very good idea,,,,,,id say,she has to go potty before she watches tv in the morning maybe,,even,,cleaning herself up oh yea shes old enough ,,and carrying her dirty undies to her own laundry basket,,.the day care boy i watch i have is 3 and a half and just now got potty trained and his grandma bought him a bike as an incentive,,we used sticker charts every time he pottied a sponge bob sticker
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| We had another couple of successful trips today...Yea, thanks for all the help and support!!!
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| Misread your last post and deleted my old message...if your dd is going once a day on the toilet, it sounds like she's just about there. Stay strong, mom; potty training will soon be a thing of the past.
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| Thanks for the advice. DD has been wearing cotton pantys for months now and doesn't seem to care when they're wet. at least now she tells me when shes pooped her pants and goes to the bathroom so I can fix it...I think I'll get some pullups for nighttime again cause I'm not getting anywhere with the nighttime thing anyways. I suppose I should get the daytime taken care of first eh? Well, I think I'll start trying the idea of the timer and EVERYONE trying to use the potty together starting tomorrow! sounds like it might help... She uses the potty at least once a day now so that's good....I've got a couple more months til school starts so I'll try this until then and hope for the best. I hate to subject the teachers to such silliness!
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| Don't get too worked up about the whole potty training thing. I worked with a professor who specalized in child development and children are not really developmentally 'ready' to potty train until 3 1/2 or 4 anyhow. In our society we try to push them too early. Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. I can't even remember when my kids were really potty trained, my son wore a pullup until he was 6, my daughter until she was 4. Every child is unique and develops in their own way. Good luck!!
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| I agree with the cotton underwear. We made a big deal that switching from pull ups meant that our son was a big boy and then when he had accidents we were totally non-punitive..really just matter of fact - lets clean you up, change clothes and clean the mess. Just from being being able to feel the wet clothes he was able to recognize when he needed to go...he was totally potty trained in less than a week.
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DEEYORE486
6/28/07 11:04 A
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As a teacher of the 2.5 to 3.5 yr group I can say that I have had the MOST success with potty training when we (parent and I) would switch to using cotton underwear. You would be surprised at how uncomfortable wet pants make your child. They don't like to be uncomfortable and quickly make the transition. This with regular potty breaks (set a timer to make sure it happens) when EVERYONE (part of the issue is the fear of missing out on the fun!) tries using the potty usually does the trick.
In my experience, using pull-ups does not work. They are too similar to diapers (even the ones with all the special "cool touch" and "wet feel" additives.) The only time I would use a pull up is at nap time and at bed time. At nap, if you have a little one that does not want to remove the underwear (it is like demoting them and that can cause some emotional issues) try having them put the pull up on under the underwear so that if they have an accident while sleeping the mess is nice and contained.
I would not punish a child for having an accident, nor would I reward them for a behavior that is expected of them.
I have potty trained over 20 children using this method, all of them coming from different homes/backgrounds. Hope it helps you!
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NACKSMOMMA
5/23/07 1:38 A
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I know how you feel! I was feeling the same way with DS2. The bottom line is that they do it when they are ready - you can't push it and please don't punish a child for having an accident or refusing to use the potty. It's so frustrating! But it will happen. DS1 decided to start using the potty around 3. When he decided that was it - I can count on my hand the number of accidents he has had since then. DS2 was a totally different story. He was finally trained at about 3 years and 9 months. We tried everything. Cartoon undies, stickers, candies, little toys - you name it we tried it. He was ready too! He just didn't have the motivation to do it. In the end - his preschool teacher was the one who got him to use the potty. He went from diapers to underware in a day - with some accidents for about a month and that was it. Basically he had made the decision himself.
I think sdvice from the other posters were really good. You might also think about having your DD spend the week-end with grandma or someone else special and see if grandma can get her to do it. Sometimes having some one else do the training can be effective. It worked for my aunt and her DS. Good luck - and you are definately not alone.
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| That was a big motivation for my little guy. He knew that only big boys that went potty in the potty got to go to school. He REALLY wanted to go to school :)
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| Thanks everyone...it definitely helps to know she's not the only one who's slow/stubborn at this potty thing!!!! I'm sure starting preschool in September will help....
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HLBROWN2002
5/22/07 4:26 P
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You'll get through it!! And both of you will survive and neither of you will kill the other. LOL!
Potty training can be exhausting and frustrating for both of you. One of the best things I did for my DD was to let her run around the house half naked. She HATED to pee down her leg. It took about two accidents before she made the connection that she had to use the potty, and it's been pretty smooth sailing ever since. There are a few accidents, especially when she's involved in something and forgets to go, or worse yet, when Mommy gets involved in something and forgets to take her, but she was potty trained before age 2.
I wonder if your daughter is having a tough time transitioning from baby to big kid. With an older brother who goes to school and does other "big kid stuff" she may want to hold on to being Mommy's baby, especially if she gets special Mommy-Daughter time during the day. Reassure her that no matter how big she gets, she'll always be your baby and you'll always have special time with her. Let her know what she has to look forward to as a big girl who can go potty all by herself. If you're a WAHM, the stickers/points system can work really well, with a special trip to the zoo or other special Mommy-Daughter trip as a reward.
Good luck!
Heather in AK
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Some of the things that worked for my son -- stickers on a chart -- earned a toy
We had a song we sang after he was successful -- I would get really excited about it :)
While on the potty-- giving him a small tupperware w/ small toys in it and warm water-- the warm water helps lots of kids be able to release and go :)
Hope this helps! I've heard that teaching girls is easier than boys, but I don't think that is true. I have friends that are having trouble w/ their girls-- I kinda wonder if they just can't quite feel it yet... anyway-- this too shall pass :) -N
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She will learn this milestone just like she has all the others. It can be frustrating training them. My oldest child (also a boy) was trained by his 3rd birthday. But my youngest child (a girl) was not trained til she was 3 1/2 years old and then had a setback after that time and went through wearing pull-ups during the day for about 4 weeks before training again and this was about four months before her 4th birthday.
I wouldn't sweat it and definitely do NOT punish your child for making a mess on herself. Like you, she may be feeling totally frustrated and horrible for not being able to do this whole potty thing like everyone else does. Just keep taking her to the potty all throughout the day and watching her for cues that she needs to be taken in there.
I have a lazy 5 yr old that sometimes will poo in her undies because she "forgets" to stop playing and go potty or she will come ask me to take her to the bathroom to pee when she was already closer to the potty at the end of the house she was at alone. LOL! Kids! It can be a frustrating time.
Also, one more thing. Is your daughter enrolled in a preschool class? Maybe getting her around other kids her age that are potty trained or going through training will help her. The peer pressure can be good at this age!! That's what finally helped my daughter get trained back when she was still 3.
Good luck.
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I forget the name of the method I used, but it is a great way to potty train.
It involves letting the little one spend some time naked around the house. When they have an accident they actually see where it came from and make the connection.
By simply saying, "uh oh, we missed the potty." they realize what needs to be done.
Yes, they may have some accidents on the carpet or furniture but the expense to clean that when you are finished is far less than continuing to buy diapers.
Just remember, do not punish when they have accidents and always praise when they make it to the potty.
With my youngest daughter, I just up and decided to stop buying diapers all together. we went out and she got to pick out big girl undies(Not training pants, they are too absorbent)When we got home she was excited to get on her new undies. We had many accidents in the first week but she soon realized that she needed to pee in her potty or else she got messy. I gave her the control. Toddlers need to feel in control of something.
My only hurdle was doing the extra laundry for the first week or two and steaming the carpet and couch if she had accidents on them. Thank god for my large capacity washer and my little green clean machine.
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Please don't "punish" your DD by taking away treats, timeouts or making her clean up after she messes. There may be something that's getting in the way of her training and if you push her you might just end up making both of you miserable!
My DD (who is now 8) was almost 4 before she trained, and in hindsight I think there were a few things that interfered with her training earlier. I had changed her daycare shortly after she turned 3, and I din't think she liked the head teacher in her new daycare. This same teacher tried to train her at school and it didn't work; fortunately they didn't push her and I was advised not to, either. 6 months later there was a new assistant teacher in the room that DD bonded with and 1 month later she was trained.
I basically took the attitude that she would tell me when she was ready, although I also told her that if she was still in diapers on her 4th birthday we were switching to underwear. One day a month or two before her 4th birthday she pulled out a pair of underwear to wear, and I said "If you wear those you need to use the potty all day". She said "OK", and that was that. There were a few small accidents at first but those ended very shortly.
I know there's a lot of pressure for kids to train early these days, but it's not unusual for a child to be 4 before they train. Trust me, she won't still be in diapers when she's in kindergarten, much less college! Hang in there!
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RASPBERRY_TART
5/22/07 8:14 A
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When my kids were little and potty-training, I took them to the store and let them pick out a few packages of underpants that had their favorite characters on them. The deal was that I would not be washing out any underpants that they had an accident in- any messy underpants went straight into the trash. That worked well as an incentive because they didn't want to have to throw the underpants away.
I only did that when I was sure that they were capable of using the potty on a regular basis, though.
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thanks for all the ideas!!! I think I'll have her clean herself up and see if that helps...although it will ultimately result in a huge mess LOL!!!
She does get A LOT of time w/me as I work from home and only work about 3 hours a day...during that time my older son w/special needs is at school. She is definitely stubborn and getting sassier by the minute...
And in answer to the preschool question, she does start preschool this coming September and although they ask that they're potty trained, I asked and the teacher said that they're not that worried about it since its only a half day and all....she also does gymnastics and that is just about the only time she'll ASK me to use the potty because all the other little girls are asking....
Again, thanks...I'm sure I'll see the light soon(I hope)
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HEATHER43232
5/20/07 4:28 P
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Try having her clean up her messes. I'm sure she won't like having to that herself and will get the hint that Mommy isn't going to clean up after her anymore, and she has to be a big girl and use the potty.
I personally didn't have much of a problem with my DD. She starting showing interest at around 15-18 months. She didn't like the potty chair, she had to sit on the big girls potty like Mommy. So, I had to buy a toilet adapter seat (I even have a portable one for when we are on the go and have to use public toilets). We use the potty chair as a step stool now so she can get to the potty herself. We have had many accidents and times where she refused to use the potty, but it got better. We tried pull-ups once, but she went in them just like diapers and learned to pull them down pretty easily. So we use regular cotton underpants and she hates the way they feel when they are dirty and wants them changed right away after having an accident. And at 29 months she is almost completely potty trained. She even goes poop in the potty. We still use diapers for naptime and bedtime, but she does very well during the day with only a few accidents a week.
I don't recommend punishment as that just results in her rebelling even more. And you have tried all that you can otherwise, you may want to talk with her doctor to rule out any medical problems. They may also be able to give you more advise about how to solve the problem. But it may just be, like others have mentioned, her way to get your attention whether it's bad or good.
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first, your daughter will not be 18 before she is potty trained...
but I do understand your frustrations...
One of the things I did for both my daughters is that I had a doll that wet. so I would put the doll in the tub.. fill it with water... then ask the doll.. do you have to go potty? then place the doll on the toilet.. and my daughters watched teh dolly go to the bathroom..
then I had my daughters go with me and purchase the cotton underwear...
I never used pullups.. I think those are to much like diapers... just my opinion..
Then I carted a potty chair in my car where ever we went... I would put her on the potty before we left anywhere.. and when we arrived home.. And of course used the potty in the car..
sometimes I would even put it in front of the tv.. and have them sit on it and they would go pee...
lol
It may be that your daughter is using this as a way to stay connected to you.. I have one with special needs and you would be amazed as to how the other one would seek attention...
I wouldn't recommend spanking her. I would recommend doing something special.. just with her..
also summertime is a good time to do potty training..
and dresses do help with getting to the potty on time..
Caeryl
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GIRLINMOTION
5/20/07 1:17 P
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I am no expert but instead of incentives, have you tried taking things away from her? No t.v. or videos? Have you used a points system to work towards something that she would like and keeps asking for? Spanking is not a good idea, I know it is fraustrating but maybe this is a game/attention time for her now? Do you spend much one to one time with her? One to one time is not being in the house with just the two of you while you are doing housework and cooking family meals. One to one time is playing with her, reading books to her, or sitting down and watching educational programs with her and discussing them etc.
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DEVNDILSMOM
5/20/07 1:12 P
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| {HUGS} The good news is she WON"T be in diapers when she goes to high school... Does she go to daycare or preschool?? My oldest son was about 3.5 yrs when he finally seriously started training, and that was when he started a new preschool where the entire room was training...
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My daughter is going to be 4 years old on July 31st and she is STILL not using the potty....I've tried using incentives, I've tried doing a potty dance and making a big deal out of successes, I've tried time-out and now all I have left is spanking her butt when she messes herself!!! I don't want to do this, but I'm at my wits end with cleaning up nasty pants!!!
what makes it worse is that my autistic son was potty trained before her which is ridiculous!! He was done potty training at about 2 1/2 to 3 years old....
I feel like an idiot for not being able to figure this out! I'm hoping someone will have a new idea that might work because I've had it!!!!!!
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