MY ex husband and I have a pretty good parenting arangement. Our son is two. We have been divorced for two years...and things have progressively gotten better between us.
My son is at home Mondays from 5pm until Friday at 5pm, then he goes to his dad's house Friday at 5pm and stays Sat, Sun, and comes home Monday at 5pm...we do it that way because of our work schedules ect...and he is remarried and his wife watches my son mondays while my ex is at work...but he still gets to see him monday night before he comes home...
Also, we have made it so that we can both be at doctors appt, and everything, jointly, so that neither one of us misses anything. It is important to work together, even if you don't get along all the time.
VIC2006 3/22/07 11:03 A
There is never an easy way to deal with co-parenting or child custody. Lucky for you and your fiance things are fairly civil. Its not so for me and my husband when it comes to dealing with my daughters dad. I am hoping that one day he will grow up and realize he is hurting her more then me. ( wishful thinking on my part lol).
SHAUNNA_LYNN 3/21/07 10:57 P
That really helps, thanks for the info. Actually my step daughters Mom changed their daughters last name from hers (which my fiance and her had agreed on using) to her husbands last name, without my fiance's consent, not very nice if you ask me. We ahev all been quite civil with each other, so hopefully this next step will be too?
VIC2006 3/21/07 7:27 P
Shaunna,
I also live in canada. So yes, the laws should be the same. As far as the step-dad adopting the child. There is no way he could have without your husbands permission. He would have been sent papers saying the request was made and he would have had to relenquish his parental rights to her. If he did not do this then the step-dad has not "legally" adopted her. If the mother wont do it he can also file himself with vital statistics, requesting action be taken on his behalf. Being the biological father she can not deny him any rights. I went through all this with my daughters dad. He tried to change her name without my permission. I hope that my daughter decides to come to me, as she doesnt have a female figure at her dads. But it will have to be her choice now. If she decides to stay i will accept that. As i know that she is very happy and well taken care of there. Hope all this helps.
SHAUNNA_LYNN 3/21/07 5:22 P
Thanks Vic2006, I never knew it was so simple to have the Birth Certificate changed. I do live in Canada (don't know where you are from?) so I hope that is the case here with that. As long as her Mom is up to it, I don't see why she wouldn't be, but she can be odd with some things. We also think that her step-dad may have adopted her at some point, my finace thinks he remembers her saying that, I sure hope not. I'm sure it is not something that they could have or would have done without his consent...I hope.
Maybe your daughter will opt for staying with you and your husband in the years to come, they are very tough for a girl, she may just want to be with Mom more through them?
VIC2006 3/21/07 5:00 P
Hi shaunna
My husband and I share custody of my daughter with her dad. She is living with her dad right now and we only see her every other weekend and school vacations, as we don;t live close together. We struggle with trying to find a balance between the two homes but the distance makes that tough. Her dad is also very difficult to deal with. Always backing out of arrangements for visitation ect. Another trip to court is not an option for us at this point so we just deal with it. My daughter is going to be 13 this summer and is starting to make her own decisions. I never had her dad on the birth certificate prior to her going to live with him. All we had to do was fill out a new form requesting that he be put on it. We both signed it and it was done. A new certificate was sent out. As long as the other party does not contest it, it shouldnt be a problem. I wish you luck in the week on week off plan. I wish i had that option.
SHAUNNA_LYNN 3/21/07 4:29 P
Just wondering what kind of visitation some of the split families are doing. My fiance and I are stuggling to accept the amount of time we see his daughter. We do see her regualrly but not enough. We have her every second weekend from friday at 5pm until Sunday at 5pm, and then once a week for dinner from 5pm until 8pm. She is 6 years old, and we are wanting to approach her Mom and Step-Dad with the week on, week off plan. There are 2 other childern on her Mom's side, and 2 other childern in our house, so I think that it is only fair for her to experience just as much time here as she does there. Everything is decided outside of court very amicably, so it would be nice for this to be as well. My finace has always payed his child support and has always wanted to and has been a part of his daughter's life.
Another factor we are very concerned about is that she did not put a father on their daughter's birth certificate, I understand when some women do it that it is deffinately in the best interest of the child, there are some dead beat guys out there who do not deserve to be fathers, but that is not ture of my fiance, he is and has always been a very nice guy who is an excellent and loving Dad. We would like to see his name added to her Birth Certificate, and I don't think that is too much to ask. I was wanting some opinions on that too.
