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| Jortkmommy, I am having the same promlem with my 3yo daughter. Yes, I want to pull my out as well! Anyways, we must first check our own attitude when speaking to our children. I have caught myself doing this & have to remind myself that they are just children & don't know any better. I am working on this. So know I talk to her in a calm manner. If she gets an attitude back, I ask her nicely not to talk to me that way. Most of the time this does work. For the times that it doesn't I give one warning that if she can not use her manners she will have to stand in the corner or go to her room for a time out. If I have to put her in TO, its for 3min. Then I remind her that we have to use our manners. So next time you feel fustrated give yourself a few mins to collect your thoughts so you can be calm when you talk to her.
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I have a four year old and a soon to be three year old and I can relate to your frustrations. I get a little bit of everything from both of them. What I have found to be true (at least) with my own...is that when they are bored, hungry or tired...it's the worst. When my four year old is not completely engaged in something, her attitude can become challenging.
When I stop or take a break from what ever I am in the middle of and play with her, she seems better. So, depending on what type of attention she is seeking, I try my best to stop the bad behavior on the front end. I choose my battles very wisely with the four year old (and it really does seem to be about her being in control at times). Some days I am more patient and other days I am at my witts end. When she was three I bought a book that realy helped (me at least) called 'The Happiest Toddler on the Block". Some parts helped more than others but I am glad that I read it.
Right now Sydney is working on three things. Every morning when she wakes up we talk about what she will work on that day (casually...as more of a reminder). The first is respecting everyone, then keeping our hands to ourselves (this is a struggle between sibblings) and last but certainly not least is lying (it seems her younger sister breaks everything and starts all the fights...hahaha).
We sort of take things one day at a time. I make sure to reward the good behavior with lots of praise and the bad behavior I point out to them and and will either do a time out (depending on the behavior) or minimize my reaction to it.
It's hard...but it at the end of the day we all want to raise strong, smart, considerate individuals and it's worth it.
Hang in there and do try to get "you" time. Get a break for your own sanity (and grocery shopping alone doesn't count!) Hug your blessing and take it all in stride!
Be well,
Kelly
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I have always told my family & friends 3 is harder then 2 because they can talk more.
I understand that it is very hard to hear the old advice "Just wait it will get better" but it is so true.
Good Luck
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I think when my girls were this age (now 7 and 9) we did give them some choices when it didn't matter, "Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?" and the things that did matter, we told them factually what was going to happen, "Grandma's coming over to watch you for awhile while Mommy gets her hair cut."
My youngest had quite the temper tantrums and I learned that the best thing was to not give them too much attention (she could go on for hours), after awhile I'd stroke her hair when she had tired out. The best thing is to not get her to this level, her basic needs TCO and limited trips to the store (or where ever). Usually, when her needs were met she didn't tantrum. But, sometimes, it happens for seemingly no reason. Remember that kids have a hard time with understanding how they're feeling. We sometimes have to put it into words for them so they can verbalize instead of tantrum.
Best wishes, Rebecca
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JOTRKMOMMY, have you taken some time for yourself lately?
Heather
PS
You deserve it and need it! :)
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WYATTSMOMMIE04
1/31/07 6:32 P
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| They do. They use it for sassiness, back talk, etc. I will ask for the name of the book.
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JOTRKMOMMY
1/31/07 2:39 P
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| I can get her to eat most days, so that's not an issue. But do they use the same technique with backtalk and things like that?
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| My little guy is only one, but I guess there is a book out that many of my friends with 3 and 4 year olds use, which provides choices, such as you can either eat 4 green beans or 6 green beans, you choose and face the rewards or consequences of your actions. So presenting your child with two good choices and letting him/her choose the choice that wish to stand by. I have seen them be very successful with it.
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JOTRKMOMMY
1/31/07 12:33 P
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My little girl just turned three, and she is WAY beyond the "terrible two's". She's into the "I'd rather sell her than take this anymore" stage. I am literally at the very end of my patience and I don't know what to do to combat this behavior.
It's everything; not listening, backtalking, arguing, EVERYTHING.
Does anyone know what to do, other than the lame advice "wait-it-out"?
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