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I would speak to your community college.. They do have a program where you can obtain a high school diploma.
The classes will count for both college and for high school.
seems ms 17 will be getting her diploma in august...
We finished registering today and it looks like she is a bit overwhelmed...
Caeryl
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| Good for you, I am getting my son enrolled in a GED program soon. How does a community college help with high school completion, I may want to go that route. thanks.
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ok,...
we pulled ms 17 out of public school. She is going to complete her high school requirements at the local community college.
We enrolled her today... what a week...
I told her that this is it..
She has to do the work and go to class...
I sure hope she can do that...
Caeryl
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BOLOSANGEL
3/21/07 12:26 P
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Report cards come out soon, I told my boys that for each grade they bring up 1 letter grade I would give them 5 bucks - yea, bribing is BAD, but I'm hoping it worked!
crossing my fingers!
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well,
just got the word. Ms 17 is not graduating...sigh...
we meet with the school today ...
Caeryl
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I am so glad to see other people in my shoes..
I was thinking it was just us.. but now I see that there are many of us with kids like this...
Thanks for being here...
Caeryl
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BOLOSANGEL
3/20/07 9:38 A
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I am going through the same thing with BOTH of my boys (13 and 16). The thing is, sometimes I think they are trying to go to summer school so they don't have to go to California (I'm in Illinois) to see their dad for summer vacation. I am also at my wits end and don't know what to do. My oldest has FINALLY decided he wants to be a police officer and I think this has helped him try to buckle down. However my 13 year old has terrible grades and no matter how much I stress that he HAS to get them up he continues to not have homework, he doesn't study and the grades seem to bounce from F's to D's constantly.
Maybe it's the age and a male thing????
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| Thanks for saying that, I know as parents we do feel responsible for their failures. He loves to draw he very good, and he is into taking pictures with his digital camera. He has put in a lot of applications but I guess they want to see something like a ged, or high school diploma, hopfully he will see that he needs an education, thanks.
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I know how you are feeling... My senior in high school is on the verge of failing out of high school.. we have tried everything... but she has made a choice that school is not important..
When I was at our last school meeting, the school asked me and my husband how we were planning on helping ms 17 graduate.. We said that we are here to support her but this is not our problem. Ms 17 has to want to graduate...
I would say that you are not to blame. YOur son had to decide on his own that school was not for him.. He chose to drop out...
there are many kids who do not do well in highschool.
I sure hope that your son decides to get his GED. I know our community college has lots of options for people like my daughter.. and your son...
Play on his interests.. what does he like to do?
Maybe traditional college is not for him.
what is he doing for work now?
Caeryl
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| I was going through the forums and came across this group, began reading it and it is what I have been looking for. I have a son who is 19 and a highschool drop out I am trying to get him to get his GED, I feel responsible for him not fininshing school, I feel if I had put more effort or showed more interest he would have finished, he is not the type that does well in a regular school setting, any ideas or suggestions would be nice. thanks.
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SuzyQ
to answer your question with regards to LD kids in a regular room... it has to do with the Law.
The school district has to provide by law a free and appropriate education to all students in the least restrictive environment...
What does that mean?
It means that there will be children in the regular room with IEPs... accomodations are in place so that the child can be successful... Hopefully there will be helpers in the classroom if there are many special ed students in the room..
It is now illegal to segregate LD kids from regular kids... It is good for both groups of kids to be around each other...
I have two children... One that needs to be in a more restricted enviornment and my other child who is functioning in a regular setting...
she is the one that is having a tough highschool life...
I hope this helps you understand...
Caeryl
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Obviously something is not clicking at the public school.
I know in my area, the community college offers classes to high school students .. smaller classes... more attention... and they get a diploma from their home highschool...
my 17 year old daughter is on the verge of failing high school... totally capable young woman. straight As in middle school... high school has been horrible..
I wish we had enrolled her into t his program. Unfortunately I was unaware of its existance until recently...
Just know that you are not alone... It seems to be a situation that is not uncommon...
Caeryl
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This is Exactly the subject i was looking for. I am currently having a problem with my son He is 16 yrs old and is a Freshman. He was held back in the 2nd grade. He does have learning disabilities, but is VERY capable. He has just gotten lazy.
I am closly monitoring , and have promised him that i would take time off from work just to go to school with him to make sure he is doing his work.
I would like to write more, but right now I have a pounding headache... BUt i didnt want to lose this thread..
Im find this very stressful and was wondering how hard it is for others to stay focused on their weight loss during times like this.. Im an emotional eater.
I will check back tomorrow when im feeling better.
Thanks
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MPRINCESS2
3/12/07 12:39 P
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I agree with what the first person said. Let him see what the world is like without a high school education, let alone a college education. He should have to go to work and pay you rent if he wants to live in your home & not be in school. Let him see how much fun working full time at Burger King is 
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I have a 21 yo step son who got a modified diploma two years ago. Since then it has been all down hill. In order to get services at the age of 21 in Oregon you have to be enrolled in school full time. (He is DX'd MRDD and ADD. He also had a language processing disorder) We are just now in the home stretch and it as awful! He has only been going to school most of the time because he knows I will not write him an excuse. Last Thursday, he went in and talked to the principal and told him he does not live here any longer. (He is supposedly living here, comes here to eat for sure--lets his friends use his room when he is not here, but sleeps at his girlfriends house.) Without even checking with me, the principal gave him permission to write his own notes!! It is crazy. He has D's and F's in all classes--and they are not even regular classes! They are SpEd classes which are geared to him at his level!!!
To top it off his GF is now Preg. He is working on his HUD stuff so he can really be living on his own, but in the mean time, the attitude is awful!
On the other hand, my 17 yo has depression, Apnea and a phase delay. As of late, we are thinking there is ADD in there too but it has never been DX'd due to the sleep issues. It is so tough, tough, tough!!! He is 17 and a sophmore. He has passed all benchmarks to graduate, but way behind in credits (should be a senior now) Tests in the average and bright ranges! We are working closely with a councilor at this point.
No I do not have any answers for how to deal with your 18 yo. I am telling you all this so you know you are NOT alone! I feel for you and understand your pain as a mother. HUGS, HUGS, and more hugs!
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I am having the exact same problems with my son. He is 18 and a senior. He is a brilliant kid but he is SO DARN LAZY. He doesn't see the need to do homework because he can make good grades on tests. He doesn't see the need to do work for a class he doesn't like or for a teacher he doesn't like. I'm fortunate that his teachers email/call me if he hasn't turned in work, misses class or if he has bad grades. If he screws up, he doesn't go out for the weekend or he loses his cell phone, computer time, etc. I make sure he knows it is MY house and MY rules and that if he acts up he WILL pay the consequences. I have even showed him (using Excel) the costs of not having an education when it comes time to 'work for a living'. It was pretty eye opening for him. I have made it pretty clear that he will not live with me forever and that he needs to be able to live on his own. However...it is still pretty much up to him. At this age you can't just sit them in the corner and make them do their homework. You CAN take away privelges for not doing the work, though. Why do they always have to do things the hard way, though??!!
I can sympathize with raising a boy without his father, my husband died several years ago so I've been doing it alone, too. My son's father also was physically abusive towards him. There are lots of wounds still hurting for him. It isn't easy but I hope that at some point (probably 30 years from now!) he will understand what I have tried to do for him.I hope things get better for you soon!
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| I've had the same problem with my 11th-grader for the past several years. Totally capable of straight A's. Gets A's on the tests and F's on the homework because he feels like he shouldn't have to do it. (Grrr!) What we've done is been in constant communication with his teachers through email or telephone so we know immediately if he starts slacking off. His guidance counselor also has a form which he picks up from her office every friday morning that he has to take around to each class and have the teacher fill it out. It lets us know test grades that week, if he missed any classes or any homeowrk, how he's participating in class. If he brings it home on Friday signed by each teacher with no missing assignments, then he can go out over the weekend. If not, he gets to stay home. We aren't riding him everyday about the homework any more. It all comes down to that sheet of paper he brings home on Friday. He knows we're gonna know and so he's been doing his work. :-) His last report card he actually made the honor roll. :-)
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| What I do is something called "inclusion." Its purpose is to have all kids educated in the regular classroom to the greatest extent possible. Where I am LD kids who are getting a regular high school diploma stay in the regular classroom. There are special classes for those too academically weak for regular classes. The thing I like about inclusion, though, is that there are so many kids who are academically weak who are not identified as needing special services. I spend as much time working with these kids as I do working with the identified kids.
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SUZYQ1975
1/23/07 11:03 P
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| Why are LD kids even in a "regular" classroom to begin with??? How can a teacher give them the extra help they need without making the other kids just sit around and not move on while waiting for the LD kids to catch up?
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I think the idea about ground rules is a good one. I am a high school ld teacher and I work with kids with mild disabilities - most kids on my caseload are in the regular classroom working on regular diplomas, and I have right now 3 18 yr. old young men in danger of not graduating, 2 like your son who are capable but don't want to work. I have told them I have figured out just this year why I am called a "case manager" - because I have to stay on their "case, " to make sure they get out with an '07 on that diploma. My favorite line is "this is your life, not mine." Another is " I get paid either way" but that wouldn't work since you're the parent. Going to school with him would have some value for the embarassment factor, but what is really needed is that he has got to understand that if he is 18 he is responsible for his own decisions and he will endure the consequences all by himself.
Sometimes a hardball approach works best. I had one student who said if he failed a class (that he was taking for the 3rd time) he was going to quit. I said, "Why not do it now ?"
I've worked with teenagers for 13 years, and each one is different. The best advice that I can offer is if they turn 18 and they are being consistently irresponsible you just need to get across to them that this is your life, you are an adult NOW, and your actions and decisions NOW will affect your quality of life for the rest of your life. It's easier not to make a mess than to straighten one out.
Hope this helps.
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ROBSPRAGUE
1/23/07 7:41 P
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I am sorry for what your family has had to go through.
But he needs to know that his education is important. If he were my boy I would be in the school with him tomorrow if at all possible.
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| I have taken him to therapy for several years because of the strain of not having a father and then his father died last year. I have been the only one raising him since he was 2 years old. His brother has been in counseling since the age a 3 for molestation at a day care. I have no problem with him
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ROBSPRAGUE
1/23/07 1:57 P
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I'm not kidding here: Smile at him tonight and share the good news that you are going to accompany him to school each morning and chat with his teachers about his attitude, performance and homework each day until he gets his grades up.
Then actually do it.
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I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. If you haven't done so already, I would suggest getting him set up with a professional counselor outside of his school. Someone who can be impartial and try to get to the root of why he's not interested in succeeding for himself, with out making him feel inadequate along the way. I hope this helps.
Be well,
Kelly
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Probably not to much you can do - this is his responsibility. However there is hope, my stepson barely made it through high school....never did the assignments, but would ace all the tests. Went off to college, has made the Presidents list and is now looking at Law school. Some kids just need to mature on their own.
However, I'd start setting some ground rules - for example. If he is not in school, than if he wants to live at home, he must work full time and pay rent. (even if you just put the rent money away in a savings account to give back to him in 5 years - but don't tell him that).
Good luck
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 Help! Son is failing all his classes again and will be repeating the 11th grade again. States he has no homework, won't listen to anyone who has tried to talk or help him. If he does the work, he is an A student. Have had several meeting with the teachers and still does not help. Anyone have suggestion? He states he will not quite school.
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