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| Well, since my last message, the dance show was great and no she did not dance, she got her costume was all excited to dance the second night and froze at the backstage lights. Maybe next year.
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Hello,
My 10 year old is an introvert. My strength is waning, I try so hard to let her know we love her for who she is but - oh my goodness - we have a dance show . she does tap - would not get into formation for the show - what to do? how to encourage? I am trying hard with my weight loss and to deal with this - is stressful - I had chocolate today. I am venting here - help
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Wow, what a relief! I can't tell you how much better I feel knowing my 9 year old daughter is normal! I too thought having 2 little brothers aged 3 and 18 months was making her act out for more attention. I hear all the same stuff as every one else too...I forgot, I don't know, I'll do it in a minute and why should I? It can get so frustrating. Our rules are there is no TV or computer until homework is done and she can only use the internet for 1 hour every other day and it is the first luxury to be taken away when a punishment is handed out, usually in week long blocks.
It is comforting to know children are the same the world over and it's not just me being a bad parent.
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HI, I have ten year old duaghter. She is an only child and oh boy I understand your pain - wow I thought it was just us goin through this. I have stopped television during the week, I stopped her watching Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Godparents and I have found the sass and the attitude level dropping. She is allowed to take care of her Neopet for 1/2hour after homework and revision. My pet peeve is telling her to do something and it is in her time!! goodness!!! But, you know at the end of the day the fullness you feel in your heart that just blows me away on how much I love her, and the attitude because she is her own person and does not waiver - quite anoying but a person of character. Yes, she is 10 going on 50. I also have a 43year old baby - oh boy, I think I now need a husband to help with the children  Keep up the good work with the discipline you wonderful moms out there.
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SLMUMPOWER
10/20/06 9:54 A
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My son is 10 years old and is going through the same stage. This week, I finally had to take away the tv for a week because he was not doing what I told him to do. It was always "at the next commercial", and then he'd forget. This week has been great! His attitude has been much better, but the week is just about over, and I'm afraid he'll go right back to his old habits when he gets the tv back.
Also, it's extremely hard to get him to do any exercise at all. He has had asthma problems since he was a baby but appears to be growing out of that some. When I just mention doing any activity, he starts complaining that his asthma will start up again. While that is a concern, I don't want him to be a couch potato -- that would just make his asthma that much worse. Any suggestions?
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TIME_FOR_CHANGE
10/16/06 4:50 P
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I have three girls, one 9, one 8 and one 5. I have talked with many other mothers with kids the same age, some a few years older and younger. They all tell me the same thing... it is part of growing up. Some girls are just getting ready to sprout. After talking with my stepmom, she advised me that me and my sisters went through it and the younger ones still are. I am the oldest of 5 girls and 1 boy. She said that when we developed the mood as she called it, usually within a year each of us developed in our chest somewhat and most had the onset of cramps and even started our periods. I told her that was good to know since everyone seems to having the same issues.
After looking into it more, alot of it is related to the stress that the kids are under these days. Since they do not understand it or how to express it properly, they trigger the onset of growth hormones and this is what we get. The ability of having fast and up to date information shoved into our heads are causing more children, especially girls to have miagraines at an earlier age that normal, the development of body developement earlier and with that comes the attitudes.
Guess we should take the stress off if it is causing all of this on the kids... I know I am limiting my kids, hoping to avoid the aftermath.
Misty
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| My ten year old son does the same thing, I think it's normal for that age. He's a good kid though.
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SNOPHIAGGS
10/13/06 10:32 P
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| I have a 10 yr old Daughter
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JANPOLDOT
10/13/06 3:31 P
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| HI everyone- I have a 10 and a 12 year old girl.Thankfully they are not doing the I forgot for homework so much. Other things yes-like actually putting dirty laundry IN the hamper. Something we did regarding homework (about 3 years ago) was to eliminate TV after school except for Friday if there is no homework. Also they get 15-20 mins of internet time on weekdays after homework is done. By not making it a choice,we've (now)stopped the excuse for not doing homework right away. I think I've also perfected "the Look" when I'm not pleased.
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CARIBBEANQUEEN
10/13/06 3:20 P
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TO: HUNNYMOM...GREAT ADVICE PLAN TO PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.
CARIBBEANQUEEN
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NIFFER129
10/12/06 4:48 P
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It's good to hear that everyone is dealing with the same problems. I thought I might be the only one who hears "I forgot" or "I don't know"
Jenn
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I have an 8 years daughter and she acts the same way. The only way that I can deal with it is to set the alarm clock and she has to finished before the alarm rings, otherwise she won't play outside. That's the rule she decides if she want to play outside or not. Of course I give her enought time to finished everything and I keep supervising and telling her how great she is doing.
Hope this help.
Joanne
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I have an 11 year old whom we constantly battle with over the simplest, silliest things 
One thing I've found that helps, particularily with the "I forgot" excuse, is keeping a list of rules and consequences posted where both you and the child can see them daily.
Good Luck!
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LILYDALE2
10/11/06 2:05 P
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Tweeners are TOUGH!!! I have a 22 year old daughter I can remember going through this with. And now have an 11 year old son we've been going through this with.... on top of his starting middle school!! Consistency is the biggest suggestion I have (of course along with love!!). Whatever you do, do it consistently!!! I feel like all we do some days is put restrictions on our son.... but I think we're finally starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel!!
Good luck!!!
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NIFFER129
10/10/06 7:25 P
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That is a great idea. I'll have to give that a try. Thanks.
Jenn
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I think your approach is one I'm going to try. I had heard of a similar approach a while back but had forgotten all about it. So glad you took the time to share your experience.
Doris
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I have a nine year old son and have been going crazy... I thought it might be because we just had two consecutive babies (18 & 1 months), but I spend more time with him now than when I was working... it's a relief to know that I am not alone.
We have just started a new consequence system that seems to be working (knock on wood). We (Hubby, Son and I) talk about what behaviours drive me and hubby nuts and then we decide on an realistic consequence for it... and then every time my son behaves that way there is a consistent consequence. For example, He is amazing at giving attitude, could rival any 13 year old girl. When he does this he has to immediately write a letter to us with 3 paragraphs. The 1st paragraph is an apology for being disrespectful while describing the situation as he saw it, the second is how he felt leading up to and during the behaviour and the third is how he could make a different behaviour choice the next time.
Okay, I just wrote way more than I meant to...anyway, this kind of system has been helping in our home so far...
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| Oh thats my daughter 100%. She is very, very stubborn. Her way or the highway. And he patients went out the window long ago. When she acts like she doesnt care then i do the same and she does not like that. She has to learn to take other people into consideration.
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Jenn,
The only other thing I have considered with regard to my daughter is that she may be going through early puberty. (As though I need an "extra" three of those "teen" years!) She is a very intelligent child but is very stubborn and impatient. I'm working hard to help her become more flexible (things can't ALWAYS be her way) and more patient (sometimes you have to work for and wait for something that's important to you).
I may try giving her "points" for everything she does without being asked more than once. When she gets to a certain number of points we will spend the whole day together doing whatever she chooses.
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| I also have a 9 year old in the 4th grade going through the same things. I really think its just a phase that they go through.
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NIFFER129
10/10/06 2:26 P
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Thanks for replying. No I have not noticed any improvement in her behavior even though there are consequences. The only thing that has worked is telling her she can't go places. That seems to hit the spot. I am a stay at home mom so it must just be a phase. I agree though it drives me nuts. I feel like I'm losing patience alot more with her because of it. I just get so sick of saying the same things over and over, and it is the same things being said day after day.
Jenn
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I also have a 10-year old daughter who does the same things your daughter is doing. It drives me nuts. She forgets to bring home the books she needs for her homework. She's very easily distracted and I have to tell her several times to do something. I was heading toward deducting money from her allowance also for not doing things she should do. Have you noticed any improvement in your daughter's behavior now that there are consequences for not doing what is expected of her?
I thought that it might be a phase my daughter's going through to get my attention because I'm out of the house for close to 12-hours each weekday because of my work hours and commute time. In my case, my daughter is my only child, so I don't have a frame of reference as far as whether her behavior is "normal" at this age.
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NIFFER129
10/10/06 9:52 A
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Hi my daughter (10) has started to not do the things she is told to do. I have to tell her repeatedly to do things she knows she needs to do. She also acts like she doesn't know to do things...for example she is in 4th grade. So she has been coming home with spelling words for 3 yrs. Every night I'll ask did you study your words. I get "Oh I forgot." I was going to stop asking her if she has done them, but I don't want her grades to fall. I have stopped telling her to do things. I'll tell her once to pick up something and if it doesn't get done she loses something (allowence, tv, radio) Is this a stage or is she testing me? Or does anyone have suggestions on what I can do?
Jenn
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