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I think the first step is to calm down and think about your own adolescence. It's really a hard time and if you can take your son to understand that everybody goes throught the same process maybe he would feel that he is not alone and this will end soon.
hope this help.
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| Making a date with your son is very importance, especially because you have a child with autism. The date should be to do something your son wants to do, not what you think is fun. Going on dates makes him feel special and loved. It will give you more time to talk and have him share about what he’s thinking and – very important – the dreams he has for his life. The date is a prefect time to discuss what he’s looking for in a friend. I never told my kids whom they could or could not be friends with but I did help them think through what qualities a good friend has. I found that talking about friendship gave them the tools to decide who was a real friend.
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BUGNBEANSMOMMY
10/7/06 7:12 P
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A friend of mine had a similar problem with her son. He just wanted to know he wasn't "in the way." I have to agree with all the suggestions to have a one on one day. When you have a special needs child other children can feel left out and unwanted. Not because they are, we all love our children no matter what . They just need to know that they are special. My daughter asked me the other day if I needed her.(she is 6) I told "I sure do. Nothing brightens my day like a Kelsi hug and hearing about your day at school." You would have thought I handed her a million dollars.
Your son knows you love him,but it always helps to have assurance. And having a parent who is also your friend is double awesome.
You and yours are In my thoughts
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Thanks for those wonderful words of encouragement. It sounds as if this is pretty normal and I really need to get him to know he is special and very loved and wanted. He really is. I love him with all my heart and I want the best for him. Any my other son. I think too that my oldest is feeling bad is because his little brother has autism and gets all this attention. I will make a date for him and I regularly. I really like that idea. We are working at making him feel loved and wanted and that home is the safest place for him. Thanks again. God bless to all.
Gail
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My two boys are 14 and 16. Each week I will take ONE (one on one day and the other on the next day) and we will do something for just the 2 of us. I mark it on the calendar so they know when it is their day. It could be the movies, lunch, or just for a walk. It all depends on what they want that day, lol.
I am a single mom and live too far away from ANY family, so they dont have anyone else but me. We have a "family circle" where we all sit down and tell all (no consequinces). This seems to work for us, as we are very close. Hope this helps, Denise.
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Being a "tweenager" is a difficult time. My boys went through some really rough times at that age. School can be especially difficult socially. They just don't know where their place in this big old world is, and that's pretty darn scary.
Talking 1 on 1 is a great idea. They need to know that they have support at home and hearing that is lifting a great burden off their little shoulders. They also need to know that they are unique and feelings they have are normal. But no matter what, your love is unconditional.
You're a great mom and I'm sure that whatever troubles he has, you'll be there to help him through it. Knowing he can talk to Mom anytime about anything will get him to open up.
Friendships are important but I have to agree with you on influence. If this friend of his is a bad influence then he's better off without that friend. He may be angry about that for a while but he's fortunate to have a mother that is there to guide him and do what's best for him.
Therapy is a good idea as well, but I would certainly talk to him first and get a feel for what's really going on. Maybe school is stressing him out. More and more children today suffer from depression because of school related stress. There's hardly time to really be a kid these days.
I wish you the best and I'll keep you in my prayers. You'll do the right thing. Follow your instincts, you can't go wrong when you do.
Tish
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Purplegardenias:
Thank you for the advice. I will definitely will try taking him just him & I and will see how that goes. I will also try a therapist. I go and feel better because of it. Thanks again for the advice. have a great weekend and good luck.
Gail
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PURPLEGARDENIAS
9/29/06 6:07 P
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| I would try taking him to a therapist.Someimes it is easier for kids to open up to them then at home.There is something bothering him and is having trouble with it.I know a lot about kids with troubles.I don't have any answers I am trying to figure it all out still myself.I can say though that in my experience therapy has helped.They see that there are others with problems worse than theirs and that they are not the only one.Or maybe if you took him out somewhere for a bit just the two of you you could get him to open up and tell you what is going on.
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| My oldest son packed to run away yesterday and I am so worried about him. He said he did because he feel like he doesn't belong in this world. His grades are great except Math (d) and My husband and I tell him he is great and that he does belong in this world because we love him very much. I have spoken to his dr and she wanted us to try different things that brought his self-esteem up but then his behavior took a nose-dive so we put a halt to him being with his horrible friend and now he is down in the dumps again. Any suggestions? Anything would be great. Thanks.
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