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| My husband can throw tantrums. arg!
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It sounds like it could be a pretty explosive issue in your house.
I have been fortunate in that we always shared one checking account. I am the one who writes out all the checks.
Good luck with it. I hope it works well for you.
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Thankyou Newme4life and everyone who responded. Your story sounds so much like mine. I am totally ready to go on strike. He said he would give me 250 for day care and then said " i paid the cable and electric". I said "you did?" (knowing he didn't) and he says "well i am going to pay in with my next check, I still have some money left from last paycheck" so there you have it. The man has money and does not want to pay the bills. I forgot to mention how after I told him he needed to make a payment to day care he acted JUST like a pouty teenager. :) I said "what's that act about" So we shall see.
I will give him the figures in percentages too, I like the way you broke that down.
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NEWME4LIFE75
7/18/06 6:08 P
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My husband and I started out with separate accounts. He payed his bills I payed mine. He was constantly having to borrow money from me. He had less money to pay in bills and he earned more money then I did. He went out of state for 6 months with his job, and I absorbed all the bills because they were coming to the house. I started taking his money combined with my money and paying the bills, we had vacation money, a great Christmas, and a few thousand saved for home repairs. He willingly turned the money over to me when he realized that I was better with it then he was.
Maybe let him be solely responsible for the bills or take turns. Set him up to fail. Tell him you are going on strike.
You could also pay based on percentages. For example If the bills total $1000.00 you bring home $1000.00 and he brings home
$1500.00 together you make $2500.00 per week. His salary makes up 60% of your total money and your makes up 40% therefore he should take care of $600.00 of the bills (60% of the bills) and you should pay for $400.00 (40% of the bill) he should also put away about 300.00 in a savings account and that would give both of you about 600.00 in expendable money for groceries, gas, dining ot, entertainment, shopping, etc. My husband and I actually combine our money in a joint account. I pay the bills and take a grocery and gas allowance for each car. I split what remains after I pay the bills and that's what we get to spend for an allowance.
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Well, I actually found another oppertunity to talk to my dh about the money situation. I told him he needs to become consistant and pay the bills he is supposed to or I will take over the money completely and he could have 40 a week. Well he didn't start defending himself or complaining, he didn't say anything at all and I began to change the subject. Later that evening he mentions amounts he was going to put on the bills and I said cool. So. I will keep my job for now. Give it a month. I should get my car some new tires first too ya know. I really hope he gets it. I will really take over and I will probably need some support to make me strong because I am pretty much a softy to him.
Biz
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KARELLE02
7/15/06 12:10 P
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| Good luck! I hope you guys are able to work it all out.
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| Good luck. I will tell you that I was the same way and am now a SAHM, it's still hard, he still likes to spend money on stupid stuff and I'm still responsible for paying the bills, he gives me his money and I have to figure out how to make it stretch, but he also will dip into the bill money. It has gotten to the point now where I take the money, put it into my account where he doesn't have access and if he wastes his gas money and lunch money on stupid stuff then he's SOL. It doesn't make him very happy and we've had some go arounds about him getting advances from work to cover his wasteful spending, but at least it's better than it used to be. I wish you luck.
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BABYSNOOPY
7/15/06 11:11 A
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| Good luck. We had the same problem. I took away the debit card. I do the bill writing, shopping, I put the gas in the car and truck... I let him take out $20 a week for whateve he wants... I finally put my foot down. But we are finally getting on track but we had to do something drastic as well because we were in over our heads and had no other way.
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| Sounds like it is necessary for your family. Good luck. I hope it all goes fairly smoothly!
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| I deleted the message ... sorry
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