EILYTHIA111
6/21/06 2:19 A
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Hey Ami, How's it going? It sounds like you guys are having a tough time right now, and it seems like you both are mad at each other over the same thing. I know it may be really hard to talk about it with each other right now, but maybe you could initiate a discussion by suggesting that you are really upset about things and want to improve your relationship by discussing everything....
Together, set some ground rules before you discuss anything. Agree to listen without interrupting, agree to not say mean things to each other, or throw things or anything else that you guys don't like. I know that this may be really hard - put the rules in writing if you have to! They apply to both of you too! It might even help for both of you to write down your issues when apart from each other and then present the lists to each other.
It's ok to tell him you are hurt and unhappy. And it's ok for him to tell you that he is hurt and unhappy. It seems to me that maybe you both are suffering right now. When somebody throws accusations around, like your husband, its often a sign that they are upset, but may not know how to tell you. Men can be a lot more sensitive than they let on!
Now, it seems like both of you are online and talking to people, and in some cases using the web cam. Here's the good thing - you both know you are doing this. That means that there is honesty here and a certain amount of trust. That is a good thing! Build on that.
Don't let this pull you down. Problems with the person you love so much can be really depressing. Just remember - you're a special person and so is he. Think about all the things you love about him, and focus on the good times. You guys can work this through.
I really hope that by the time you read this that you have already worked it all out! And if you are still struggling, well, we are here to listen and hopefully help you deal with it.
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