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DH Problem..want to vent...sorry...


 
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EILYTHIA111
6/21/06 2:19 A
 
 
Hey Ami, How's it going? It sounds like you guys are having a tough time right now, and it seems like you both are mad at each other over the same thing. I know it may be really hard to talk about it with each other right now, but maybe you could initiate a discussion by suggesting that you are really upset about things and want to improve your relationship by discussing everything....

Together, set some ground rules before you discuss anything. Agree to listen without interrupting, agree to not say mean things to each other, or throw things or anything else that you guys don't like. I know that this may be really hard - put the rules in writing if you have to! They apply to both of you too! It might even help for both of you to write down your issues when apart from each other and then present the lists to each other.

It's ok to tell him you are hurt and unhappy. And it's ok for him to tell you that he is hurt and unhappy. It seems to me that maybe you both are suffering right now. When somebody throws accusations around, like your husband, its often a sign that they are upset, but may not know how to tell you. Men can be a lot more sensitive than they let on!

Now, it seems like both of you are online and talking to people, and in some cases using the web cam. Here's the good thing - you both know you are doing this. That means that there is honesty here and a certain amount of trust. That is a good thing! Build on that.

Don't let this pull you down. Problems with the person you love so much can be really depressing. Just remember - you're a special person and so is he. Think about all the things you love about him, and focus on the good times. You guys can work this through.

I really hope that by the time you read this that you have already worked it all out! And if you are still struggling, well, we are here to listen and hopefully help you deal with it.
BUFFEDSTUFF
6/20/06 10:58 P
 
 
we heard your vent. I hope things work out for you.
AMIRIGOR
6/18/06 11:46 A
 
 
My DH has been flirting and brought up sex in their conversations. The reason I know is cuz I noticed he been staying up late and got worried so I saved his conversations cuz things have happened in the past so I had to to make sure. I wished I didnt find nothing but I did..And when I asked he lied to me about it. I was not rude to the female when I asked her about it...cuz she didn't take any of the "bait" that he was trying to feed to her. The last convo he said that I asked if they spoke about sex and he said no but that I didnt ask if there was any flirting LOL...so he trying to be a smart aleck about it and he was like "i'm bad" ....the lady told him to stop being mean to me and that he was misjudging me...but he said he was trying to teach me a lesson cuz i was chatting with this guy on camera and that I was wrong. Mind u we never chatted about sex and i was just sitting there and was not doing nothing stupid for him to prove anything..i was not wrong so that's just a bunch of bull if u ask me. He wanted to flirt with her and chat for his own reasons but wants to make it right by something i supposedly did wrong..which wasnt wrong at all. He even says things in the conversations that made me and even the lady think he was cheating...she even asked if he was cheating on me. he said no...well not yet...so much in there that I'm upset with but i have to calm down before I speak to him about it....today is fathers day too.. I've monitored him for about a week now...only a few convos but still its nerve wrecking and it really upsets me. and when i get so upset my nerves get so screwed up that it causes a really horrible stomach ache and u know where that sends u...sux but that's how my body works. I just went for a walk yesterday..he sent his older daughter with me LOL...and was even calling to check on us constantly...I know he's aware something is wrong but he knows he is wrong so he cant really say much u know. Sorry I just wanted to vent..hope my post is not deleted again..i didnt use any curse words this time...lol.
 

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