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AIDAIRISSMILES
2/27/07 9:16 A
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Hip Hip Hurray!!!
I have been able to register for the March 10th conference at Oklahoma City.
3/10/07 12:00 PM
Oklahoma City, OK
Shartel Church of God
This is a foster care outreach event. Jimmy will speak during the day and perform an acoustic concert at 7pm.
Now I just have to get there. I am traveling from New York with my son and hope to be able to meet Jimmy and ask for his help. How should I go about getting to see him? Does anybody have any ideas? I really need his help.
Blessings to all and keep the prayers coming. Through prayer everything is possible.
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STARKEYJO
2/26/07 12:55 P
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Oh, I just read your last post... sorry, I had started at the beginning and not finished!
I WILL pray!
-Starla
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STARKEYJO
2/26/07 12:53 P
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I didn't have enough time to read all of the postings on this topic... but I feel your pain. I adopted my daughter and my son is still in foster care and not legally free. I have had him for two years and am waiting for him to be legally free. A placemetn coordinator called me and I told her I don't have any more beds and she commented, "Oh, you just need beds! I can get you beds!"
I told her no.... I don't want any more placements at this time and please not to call because it just upset me that I couldn't help any more children.
I am a single mom... never married, but definately looking!
If you want to privately email me on spark... that is fine.
I can't imagine taking four!
My daughter is three in a set of four. The grandma took the older two, but couldn't manage all of them. I was waiting for the infant from drug withdrawal, but the social worker screwed up and placed her elsewhere... twice and wasn't willing to move her again. I bawled and bawled and five years later am not sure I am completely over the heartache. I wanted the two sisters together. At least we still get together a few times a year.
There were a lot of survival behaviors in her sibling set that posed quite the challenges. The support I found has been from other friends who are foster parents, not from the social workers.
Try to look for a foster parent support network in your area and try to network and make some friends. They will help you navigate the system better and find helpful resources. I have an NPO paying for my son's gymnastics since his gross motor development has been behind and he is in a special needs preschool for a speech delay.
It WILL get better! It will take a long time for the kids to trust you, and then they'll put you through the ringer just to be sure your love is genuine. DO get some support and email me if you need.
I still feel I'm drowning at times because I worry so about their drug/alcohol exposure... their futures... their adjustment to being adopted... etc.!
Take care!
-Starla
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AIDAIRISSMILES
2/25/07 1:44 P
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Hello,
Several months ago I wrote to the group. I mentioned that I was a foster mother in NY trying to adopt 4 foster care children in OK City. I mentioned I had a run in with DHS and family Court and that I have not been able to find help to get the children back. Well I need your help.
I am a big fan of Jimmy Wayne and have been praying for a way to meet him and see if he can help me in my situation. Jimmy Wayne for those who don't know him is an advocate for foster care and adoptions. Please see http://jimmywayne.com/index.php?content=ca
lendar for more information.
Through prayer I happen upon the news that Shartel Church of God is having a Conference for Foster Care Awareness. Thanking God for his guidance I am daring to write to you to tell you my story again and to request your help. Your help can help the children in this story who are currently not adopted and when they get adopted it will be separately. You can make a difference in 6 people's lives because I also have a 4 year old son who misses those children and is waiting for them to return home.
I am calling all those who believe in the power of prayer and positive energy to please join me in prayer daily.
I can't seem to concentrate on taking care of myself since the children were taken in June. There's a whole in my life.
 
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AIDAIRISSMILES
7/2/06 2:29 A
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| I know prayer is powerful and I will pray and accept prayers from others. I am also looking for anyone in the Spark community that is from Oklahoma or is a current foster mother. I need and want to be proactive. I need foster mothers from everywhere to write letters to their organizations and associations telling them of my story. If the story spreads then maybe something can be done not just for me but for others like me. We are needed and we should not be abuse. Please.
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I'm sorry to hear about what's happened but I don't know enough about the system to give advice. I just know that what the court system does with children is one reason this country is going down fast. My younger son has a friend who is living with an aunt while waiting for the court to decide whether she or which one of the parents will get custody of him. It's so sad. All we can do is pray.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/30/06 11:45 A
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Thanks for sharing your story. I will keep it in mind.
Have a great weekend!!!!
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PARTTIMER
6/30/06 11:41 A
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My son was 7 when we lost the child we thought we were adopting. It was very hard on my son. I had him "write" a story complete with pictures about how he felt.
Here's what he wrote:
"A foster baby came to my house today. His Mom did not know how to take cae of him. My Mom and I did. I AM A FOSTER BROTHER.
The baby had brown skin like me. He had black eyes like me. He smiled and he was happy. He was fun.
My 1 year old brother went to his uncle today. He was happy to see his uncle and sister. I was sad. I did not like it when he left. I was sad.
I cried and my Mom did to. Mom asked if I wanted to be a foster brother again. I SAID NO!!!
Then I said yes. Maybe a new foster baby will come today."
He spent several days in his room working on this and we went through the pictures and added some of the babies pictures to his thoughts. 12 years later this is still a prized possession that we rwent back to each time a child left.
My heart broke every time. He's almost 19 now and thinks back on the foster kids fondly and even talks of foster parenting in the future. Just reassure him that he won't be removed.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/30/06 11:13 A
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Thank you for the email. It helps but right now my concern is my son too. He doesn't want to be in our apartment because the others are not here. He is just so sad. I am not sure what to tell him.
Please pray for us.
Aida
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My heart goes out to you. Foster parenting is tough. I had 2 tiny ones with both MOM & DAD out of the picture for the next 15 years. After 18 months an aunt stepped forward and asked for custody 3 days later both children were in court to grant her custody and they left Il for California that day. When I asked the caseworker how they were doing I was told everything was confidential and the children were no longer my concern. It was like - lets pretend the last 18 months didn't happen.
Another child after 18 months was legally given to her grandmother who was killed in an accident 10 months later and since DCFS was no longer involved, the original Mom was the next of kin so she then had custody and left the state.
The laws have since changed concerning the length of time required to free a child for adoption.
I since have had over 20 short term and a few long term foster children. I have adopted 4 of them. Still my oldest who was previously adopted internationally will go through the photo albums and ask what I think happened to the kids. I can only tell him - we gave them each a good 18 months or however long we had them.
KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN AND KNOW THAT GOD DOES HAVE A PLAN.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/29/06 9:00 A
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Hello Everyone!
I am writing because the last 3 days have been hell. Monday I was informed that FRAUD was committed by the case worker in OKLAHOMA CITY and my 4 (foster) children that I thought I was in the process of adopting were taken away. I tried to hide from the authorities for 2 days but finally had to give in or an Amber alert would have been put into affect. I would have lost my foster parent certification and never would I be able to fight for my kids again. I am writing for prayers and to find out if any of you are from OKLAHOMA city and would help me fight for my kids. I was not informed that the case being investigated to remove the kids from me. I was not informed of any meetings that involved the children. I did get media here in NEW YORk and through divine intervention found an OKLAHOMA lawyer willing to help me but I need more support. I feel uprotected, punished and abandoned. I feel betrayed and just devasted. This community has been very kind to me. Please help.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/15/06 11:16 A
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Just by replying and keeping me company at this time is enough. Keep me in your prayers and positive thoughts. This at least keeps me from feeling alone and focused on positive things.
Thanks.
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This was what I was looking for the other night when I sent you the message: This is what you deserve ! I wish there was some way I could help. My heart just breaks for little kids who have such a hard time. My 2 yr old's best friend was picked up from daycare a few weeks ago by a social worker. I think something must have happened because my older child has been in that school for almost 5 years and I've never seen a child signed out by a social worker. I wish I could just bring him home with me. I can't tell you enough what an important work you're doing.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/15/06 10:05 A
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All of you have been so nice to me in this time when too often I feel alone and a few people have turned their backs on me bacause they feel I should have not helped and that I brought these hard times on myself.
I know I did the right thing. I don't have any regrets. I expected some difficulties and I know God will bring me through this...and it has begun with the positive letters and words of encouragement I have gotten from this community. Bless all of you.
Yes I am trying to get food pantry information.Hopefully the case manager will help soon.
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SUZANNEJOZEF
6/14/06 9:28 A
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Sometimes prayer is all we have and all that gets us through. YOu are doing a wonderfuljob and I'm sure the kids can see this.
Maybe check out a local Church to see if you can get some help with the food situation or with some of the bills until things get kicked in.
Good luch and May God continue to Bless you.
Suzanne
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I will definitely keep you in my prayers. It sounds like you have your hands full. It's such a wonderful thing that you're doing for these little ones.
I've taught a bunch of foster kids and I always wanted to be a foster parent but my husband has been in some trouble in the past that prevents us from even being a volunteer emergency family, so I just do the best I can to help the kids I work with at school. I thank God for my 2 boys and I know I make a lot of mistakes with them, and I know that if it's meant to be for us to take in a child or children God will work it out without the help of the government.
Just remember what an important work you're doing !
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/13/06 10:04 P
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Thanks for checking in on me. I have been so crazy with the red tape in this world. It is any wonder how anything gets done.
I got copies of the paper work. I still have not gotten any money to buy them clothes. Last week I had to get the kids physical exams and vaccinations. It seems that the 2year old may need surgery for enlarged tonsils and may have sleep apnea, the 3 year old has bad ezcema and the 4 year old has allergies. I was upset because I asked many questions and no one had answers.I am running out of food all my bills need paying...Well let's say I am hanging on by a prayer. Please keep the positive energy coming.
As for my exercise program...it hasnt started because my VCR broke and I have Pilates tapes not DVD. All that and I am still feeling like a champion. I will get another VCR and begin this weekend.
How are you?
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SUZANNEJOZEF
6/13/06 2:53 P
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Just realized I hadn't checked in on you lately and thought I'd drop a line.
How's the class going? Are the kids setteling in? Did you get the paperwork? All in all how's it going and how are you doing?
Suzanne
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AIDAIRISSMILES
6/4/06 8:29 A
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Well everyone it has been 3 weeks since I have the children (including my 3 year old) and I have decided that tomorrow I begin a Pilates home program and study schedule so I can finally take the 3 national exams I need to get my license in Occupational Therapy and Acupunture. Wish me luck. Keep the advice coming. 
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/24/06 10:21 P
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| Wow...I love that song. I have hummed it to myself many times before when finances and medical situations have gotten out of hand. Thanks for the advice. Be blessed.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/24/06 10:20 P
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thanks for your email. I got her paperwork and the worker that recommended me for foster mom is helping me get all their benefits started. I am grateful for all the support and advice. Keep it coming.
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That is a FABULOUS song to keep you going! I have to download that one - thanks for sharing!
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You are quite an angel of God. I think this adjustment is similar to having a baby- it is wonderful but also changes your day to day life completely and all at once!!
I honestly sang to myself everyday- "oooh, child things are gonna get easier" it became my mantra. And, here I am I did survive the endless, sleepless nights. I know your situation is ten-fold of having 1 baby, but I hope you can use this to keep going.
Make sure you drink plenty of water and take a vitamin every day. Just breathe deep and take it one moment at a time. Remember what rewards you will get watching them grow!!
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SUZANNEJOZEF
5/24/06 11:46 A
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My hat is off to you!! What a wonderful that you have been able to do. Reunite siblings and to let them be loved and raised together. As you said the adjustments of one child was hard so of course adding 4 more at the same time is going to be even harder. Just remember you are wanting what is best for them and are obvisouly trying to do that.
I'm sorry that none of there paperwork have gotten to you, have no clue or advice about that. If it is feasable I'd would take them all to a pediatrician, Dentist and have them all checked out just as a general physical. Also I'd find a really good child physcologist(sp) that they can all go to. together and seperately to help them adjust and to deal with whatever they need. Might be good for you also as it will help giude you through thier emotional ups and downs.
May God continue to Bless you and your new family.
Suzanne
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I'm sorry that you feel isolated sometimes. Feel free to reach out when you need to. I do think it is very important to make time for yourself when you can. Often times, women can unknowingly try to meet everyone else's needs around them (whether they be co-workers, spouses, children, parents, neighbors) and their personal well being can get lost in the shuffle. If your calendar doesn't allow you to take an hour every day (trust me, I know) then try to at least take 10 minutes (or what you can pencil in, if longer) to treat yourself to a break. Personally, I enjoy keeping a journal (the old school kind with a pencil and book) or I make myself a cup of tea on occassion at night after the girls go to bed. I found this great black tea from lipton in a French Vanilla that is nice at the end of a day...and I can pick it up at the grocery store! Even mom's can burn out...so don't be afraid to take a mental break now and again to keep fresh. Like my dad says, if momma isn't happy, nobody's happy!!!
Hang in there!
Kel
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/23/06 11:54 P
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Dear Kelly,
thanks a million for your email sometimes I feel alone. I joined Sparkpeople to improve my lifestyle and have found much more. I am loving them also learning from them. They change more and more every day.
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Hi Aida,
Just wanted to drop a note to see if things were settling in for you and the kids? God love them and you for giving them all a second chance at a family. One day at a time, right?! Hang in there and keep smiling!
Kelly
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/19/06 9:33 P
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I didnt want them to be bounced anymore than necessary. I hope to be able to provide them with love, affection and lots of wonderful memories that will erase any bad ones they may have.
Take care.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/19/06 9:32 P
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Dear Kelly,
Thanks for your reply. Yes they are all siblings from the same mom and dad. They have not seen their mom in almost 2 years and have lived separated. I am trying to teach them to feel like a family. They do fuss over things and toys. I pray that I can be a good friend to them...even a mom. Thanks for the positive words. They really helped.
Be blessed.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/19/06 9:29 P
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Thanks for your words. They have only been here a week. I am going through an adjustment period similiar to the one I went through when my son was first born. I am finding my groove and hope that my goals will get back no track. I find myself eating foods and drinking beverages that I wanted to stop taking. Thanks for your prayers.
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I work with a lot of foster kids at school. There are so many ! You would think we were in a foreign country. I hope everything works out. I will certainly pray that it does. I have wanted to be a foster parent but there are some things in my husband's past that prevent us from being approved.
Be glad you are able to help them and love them all you can !
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God bless you for adopting them.
I have foster kids here at school that have been
bounced around to maybe 5 or 6 families in one year.
They are so blessed to have you and once everyrthing
gets worked out you will be blessed tenfold from them.
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God bless you for your kindness. It must be extremely frustrating dealing with the paperwork end of foster care. Those four kids are fortunate that you care so much. Please keep posting here so that you have a safe, nonjudgemental place to vent. Many people on this site will support you emotionally if you need it.
Best wishes.
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/19/06 10:21 A
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| Really! I feel as if they have been left on my doorstep. I am afraid their needs won't be met and I don't want them to be taken away. I will be adopting them since no one wanted to keep them together. Its funny...first I couldnt have children then I was blessed with one and now 4. I am not complaining just feel a little out of sorts. Thanks a million for your reply. Be blessed.
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Kudos to you for being willing to foster those children.
I am a registrar at a high school and we have many foster children. It is a very rare thing for children to come with all their paperwork.
Sometimes they have been bounced around so much their stuff just gets lost in the process.
It is sad, but true.
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I am sorry that it hasn't been as smooth as you anticipated but on a serious note, my hats off to you for taking in children that really need a home. Are they all siblings? I would imagine that they are a little nervous being in a new place with new people and new surroundings.
I hope things balance out for all of you very soon and again, you are an amazing woman for extending your heart and home to children who need extra hugs!
Be well,
Kelly
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AIDAIRISSMILES
5/18/06 10:32 P
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I have recently become the foster mother to 4 children...3 girls (6,4,3) and 1 2yr old. The children were sent to me from another state. It has been ok except for the stressful part...they arrived without paperwork. Nothing absolutely nothing is in place. Not their medical benefits. Not their educational papers. Not their funding. I feel as if I have been left for the wolves to find me and I must fend for myself. It has raised havoc on my fitness and personal goals. I keep wondering how can people be so ssssttttttttuuuupid than to send 4 little people to a stranger and not worry about it.
I am here to vent so that I can find out what I must do and do it.
Thanks for being here.
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