  |
|
TAMPAMOM23
5/17/06 11:22 A
|
|
|
|
| Yup yup South Tampa born and raised! Nice to meet you!
|
|
|
|
| Hey Tampamom23 are you referring to Tampa Florida??? I am in St. Pete.
|
|
TAMPAMOM23
5/16/06 10:18 A
|
|
|
|
| no, we don't have anything like that in the US...if anything, we get paid less when we have children, because you are usually unable to work the flexible schedules, and a whole bunch of overtime!
|
|
|
|
No we don't have anything like that. We do get a tax credit on our income tax until they turn 17.Maybe it works out to be the same as the allowance.
I understand your concern about finances.
My husband and I do not make a lot of money and he is in need of a kidney.
Our medical bills are more than we can possibly ever pay. His medication right now is $1,200 a month.We all have mortgages too.
Everything her in the states is out of control when it comes to prices, especially health care. Gasoline is killing us too.
Isn't it interesting that countries can be so different yet people are the same.
|
|
|
|
HI there
I understand things are different for every person and more so if you are living in a different country. You mentioned that you dont get any more pay if you had children or not. Well in my pay cheque no I dont but the Irish Goverment give 150 Euro per month and thats called children allowance. You only get that up to the age of 16 unless they are still in fulltime education. This means now that she is working I will be short 150.00 Euro a month and have less to pay my bills with. This is my main concern. As it is I have just enough to get by on. Dont get me wrong.....I am not in a poverty trap or anything like that. I live a comfortable life, I dont smoke or drink but go to the gym. In Ireland most people have a mortgage to buy their own house. We do too and the house prices are now getting out of control in Ireland. Is there not a payment like childrens allowance in USA?
Jan
|
|
|
|
Oops! I apologize.
What I mentioned is what I do and what I expect
out of my daughter, not yours.
Too mnay children here are lazy and expect mom and dad to pay for everything.
The money thing is different. No children in the US are expected to give any of there money to their parents unless their parents ask them to.
I also earn the same wage with or without kids, working or not.
Unless there is something going on that I am unaware of and thst is entirely possible.
|
|
TAMPAMOM23
5/15/06 11:42 A
|
|
|
|
| Why don't you just tell her that you really need the money, and either she can pay it or find somewhere else to live, since you will be renting out her room? lol
|
|
|
|
My daughter has always had trouble getting up in the morning. She doenst go to bed until late. She goes to her room but says she is never tired to sleep. Ever since she was a baby she needed only a little sleep and cut out her naps very early in life. But when she does finally go to sleep she goes into a deep deep sleep and NO alarm clock will wake her. I agree with letting her have her independance BUT I wont have her lossing her 1st job because she couldnt get up in the morning. Its only her third week in this job and as it is they are giving her unpaid leave to go on her holidays in June. I have told her that she has to try and get up herself because I certainly cant be doing it for the rest of her life. All that is a different topic than I first started on and that was the money issue. If she was still in school I would not ask for any money. In life to be independant everyone pays their way. As for the breakfast issue its bascially in place for two reasons. One so that she will actually eat some because she is on her feet all day and two because it helps her get up. Its no problem for me to bring her to the train station on my way to work and it also puts my mind at rest knowing that she is on time for the train because otherwise she would have to walk to the train and that would mean getting up even earlier which wouldnt work for her. Hopefully by this time next year or a lot sooner I will be laughing at this post and things will have got easier. Its just all new for me and my daughter.
One other point is....children in Ireland dont usually learn to drive until they are a lot older. The insurance for them its too high along with the cost of running a car. It can be as late as 22 before they start to learn. Some have rich parents that let them drive their cars but they are few and far between.
Jan
|
|
|
|
That is a very interesting way of handling finances.
How different it is here.
My daughter is 16. She started her first job a month ago, which is temporary.She just got another job and of course is still in high school.
Since she is now driving she has to pay for her car insurance and gas. She also has to pay for all the extra stuff she wants to do.
I do not wake her up or feed her breakfast.
She must learn to do these things for herself.
If she oversleeps, she may get fired. If she skips breakfast she will be hungry.
I want her to be independent and if I do things for her she will never learn to do them for herself.
I have always had to work and have worked very hard to get what I have. It is not much.
Too many young people in the US just expect everything to be given to them.
|
|
|
|
Jan,
I wouldn't let this whole thing stress you out. I know these days parents here are very easy going on their children, many kids seem like they are controlling their parents. I don't agree with letting them get away with much if anything at all. I know that with age they tend to defy their parents and seek independence not saying that your kids are they just want their freedom. I do agree that they should help out if not with monetary issues then by doing something else that you all can agree on. Good luck.
Renee
|
|
|
|
Thanks for your advice. Actually when my children were younger they used to help about the house more than they do now. They are 14 and 16 now. They used to lay the table or hang the clothes on the line. Little jobs but now they dont do anything. This is partly my husbands fault as he is very very oldfashioned and believes wrongly that a womans place is in the home. I do go out to fulltime work now but did stay at home for the years when they were younger. The money that the Irish people give up to their parents is like a Rent but I have tried calling it that and still it doesnt go down well. I think when children are younger its easier to presuade them to do little jobs but when they get older it becomes more difficult. I remember when my parents suggested I gave them some money for Rent I had no problem with it as I think they deserved it after all they had cared for me since I was a baby and provided for me. I think if the family has plenty of money then perhaps the child may not have to give anything. But if you work hard which I do and pay all my bills....its only fair that somewhere along the line I get some thanks for it.
Jan
|
|
|
|
Jan,
I have two daughters ages 2 and 9 months so I am not exactly at the same point you are. :) I will have quite some time until they are ready for a job. I can however offer some suggestions. Here in the US we do not give our parents a portion of our wages, I think if it was agreed upon between the child and parents prior to the job then maybe something could be worked out but it is not expected here. I think if you are looking to get some money you could discuss an amount towards paying "rent". Many families here in the US do that once their child is working. I am sure if you set up some type of rent payment she may be more willing, and also as a suggestion if you feel for example 200 $ a month is adequate tell her that 50$ of that will go directly into a savings for her so she is contributing to the family but also saving for herself. The 50$ will be there for her but if something should come up where you or the family needs it you can use it but put it back asap. I think that is something I will do for my daughters when the time comes. I do think that children can help out the family if she is not willing to pay at all then can you require her to do some type of cleaning or chores in the house?
Good Luck
Renee
|
|
|
|
My daughter has just started her first job as an apprentice hairdresser. Its something she has wanted to do all her life. Most children in Ireland pay a small amount each week to their parents when they start to work to help pay for household bills but I am having a problem with my daughter about paying up. I work hard myself and pay all the bills. My husband pays for the groceries and if the kids need anything for school. I have one other child still going to school. The point is that I know wont be getting any children allowance for my daughter so my wages will be going down. My husband comes from a different type of up bringing and I dont think he would support me with her giving me money because his attitude would be you have your own money. When living at home I always gave up some money to my parents. What is the way in USA? Do children give up any money to their parents and if so how much in portion to their wages? To be honest I am very hurt and annoyed with my daugther about this situation. What makes me even madder is that I get up extra early in the mornings to wake her, give her breakfast (because i know she wouldnt have any otherwise.) and I also bring her to the train station. Otherwise she wouldnt get up and sleep it out so at least this way I know she will be on time. Am I blowing things out of proportion here? What do other parents think about it? Its starting to make me feel worthless. I cook, clean and hold down a fulltime job. I have always had time to listen to my children. Is this the thanks I get? Sorry for going on and on about it but its really getting to me.
Jan
|
|
