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Parenting and Family Support
What if I don't want family support?


 
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LOUHONEY1972
5/7/06 3:04 A
 
 
Hey there KTNB622, My name is Lulu and I had the exact same problem with my family!
I was very honest, I told them that what worked with them wouldn't suit me.
The most important thing to remember is whatever you decide to do, if you're honest with others about it, they will support you.
MISSMYFIGURE
5/5/06 10:33 A
 
 
I know similarly how you feel as I see my brother nag on my parents everytime he comes down for a visit. If my parents tend to overeat a bit he makes lots of comments. I love my parents dearly and just hoping my weightloss will encourage theirs.

I am sure this is difficult for you being that you live with them. Hopefully once the inches keep coming off they will stop hounding you so much. SparkPeople method is a very healthy way to go.
LADYBUGK03
5/3/06 11:12 A
 
 
Hi, I am with buffedstuffed. I think you really need to express your concern for how they view your "lifestyle change". I say this is that your dieting and exercising is your lifestyle change. You are the only one who can decide what's best for you in your exercising and food choosing. I am sorry its difficult for you and its probably by them pushing you are going in the wrong direction. As kids when we are pushed so hard we tend to just give up because its stressful and difficult. We are adults but yet our parents are our parents. They love you and just want you to get healthier but for you to do that you simply need to say MY Terms My way. Well in a senstive way of course. You seem like you are wanting a better healthier life. First step just let them know directly how you feel. I know that you appreciate everything they do for you but you don't want to keep butting heads. I hope you know that here on sparkspeople we are here for you. Way to go on tracking your foods, exercise, etc. That is a great start. Keep it up. I like to say this to everyone "Remember you are worth it". Good luck and just don't be to hard on yourself. The weight didn't go on overnight and it won't come off overnight. Stay positive. You are doing great so far. In your time when you are ready.
Jennifer
BUFFEDSTUFF
5/2/06 9:16 P
 
 
print out what you just type to us and show it to them. Tell them you love them and you thank them for being supportive, then show them the note hopefully they will understand, I wish you well
KNITTYWITTYWOO
5/2/06 11:59 A
 
 
Sorry I've no advice but you seem to know what works for you. Everyone is different, I've tried loads of diets but this is the first one I have done where I have seen good consistent results. I usually get really ratty after 3 weeks and quit! I've been doing this now for 9 weeks and I have lost 18 lb. (and loads of inches!!) Be strong about how you want your diet and exercise to go. It's your body.
FIREINWINTER
5/2/06 10:54 A
 
 
Hopefully, I'm posting this in the right forum. *frets* This is my first time posting to the community, so...

I know this is going to sound strange, but I need some advice on how I can get my parents to *stop* caring so much about my weight loss. My parents are constantly commenting on what I'm eating, when I'm eating, how much I'm exercising, etc.

I've been recording what I eat here, and I take walks during the day (hurray for spring weather) for my exercise. The problem is, my parents refuse to believe that I'm actually working on my weight because I'm not using the same methods they do to get thin.

My father lost over 80 pounds in the last few years by merely running on the treadmill - but he's pretty much retired, so he spends an hour and a half exercising every day. My mother has lost about 40 pounds by starving herself - she barely eats any breakfast, eats either half a sandwich or an "Instant Breakfast" for lunch, and half a serving of whatever we're having for dinner.

They don't seem to understand that as a woman, I simply can't lose the weight as quickly as my dad did through exercising, and that I don't have the time to exercise as much as he did. (I swear, his actual answer when I say I don't have time is to suggest that I get up at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning and exercise before I get ready for work.) And, I'm sorry, but I refuse to starve myself, because I'm not stupid.

I've given in a few times and done extra exercising just to get my mother off of my back about it for a few days, but I haven't enjoyed it, because it feels like exactly what it is - I'm being forced to exercise to make my mother feel better, like she's actually being a good parent by making me be healthy. I don't want to reinforce this behavior, and sometimes, I just feel like quitting altogether and gaining even more weight just to piss her off and spite her. She doesn't seem to understand that nagging me about how fat I am has the exact opposite effect that she wants.

I'm planning on moving out of my house at the end of the summer (if, gods willing, I can find a job that pays me enough to get out) but I don't want to wait until then to really focus on losing weight. Does anyone have any advice for how to convince my parents that they need to just stop talking about my weight altogether?
 

   Posted by a SparkPeople Team Member
  Thread URL:http://www.sparkpeople.com/dietforums/archive_posts61-2213351-1.htm
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