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"how do people deal with a dh and children (I know their only 3 1/2 & 6 1/2) who are picky eaters?"
We did not have a child when I first went vegetarian. And when I told DH I wanted to make the switch he was a litle freaked out thinking I'd only give him weird food to eat. I reassured him that if he didn't like anything I made, he could always just have a sandwich or hit McD's and it wouldn't hurt my feelings any. All I asked was that he try one bite. Then for a LONG time I just made the same old thing so it would feel familiar to him. I'd just bump up the veggies on the side and have mine meatless. So we continued to have pizza, spaghetti, chili, stir fries, etc. This helped him to relax about it and not flip out.
Slowly I started making changes and they continued to be easy changes. Like veggie crumbles in the spaghetti or tacos instead of beef. Mexican lasagna that featued black beans and mexican cheese instead of the standard lasagna. Pasta in a new shape -- but still basically pasta. Who cares if it is twist or wagon wheels? Pasta is pasta! Then brown rice instead of white. Juice and ice tea in cans to help him cut back on his soda in cans. I never said he had to swtich although I quit soda entirely -- I just had it available. Jsut having the jucei and tea around the house meant he was drinking some of that, which meant he wasn't drinking a soda.
Once he felt more secure that things were not going to be too weird, he started being more willing to expand and I got to branch out into exploring things I hand't cooked before -- Indian food, quinoa, etc.
These days he's rarely bats an eye if I serve up something exotic. Most of the time he knows he's most likley going to enjoy it since I know what he likes and if he doesn't, I've got a back up frozen entree in the freeze somewhere for him.
When my daughter was born I became vegan and I'm raising her vegan. She goes through toddler finickiness, but basically she eats what I serve.
She's 2 and I have a good idea of what I want her to eat during the day and I try to portion it out in little bowls with lids or in divided dishes with lids. I stick it all in her lunchbox in the fridge whether or not we're going to preschool that day ( I work PT at one and brin gher with me).
Then her choices come with how she eats these things.
I don't care if she wants to eat all the fruit for breakfast and all veggie for lunch or sample something from everything, or eat thigns cold or reheated. But what she's eating that day is coming out of her "lunchbox food" and that's that. She doesn't get to have extra stuff until the lunchbox food is done.
Things that belong to Daddy she may not have (ex: soda) and Daddy knows where to look if she asks him for something to eat. He just has to find the lunchbox in the fridge and he knows anything out of their is fine to give her.
[b]Noticed Diet food costs more than junk food?[/b]
I don't buy any special packaged "diet foods." I just buy regular food -- grapes are grapes. You know?
I did switch to non-toxic cleaning and shaving that off the grocery bill allows us to buy organic produce every other week so that's how we managed that splurge.
"Clean and Green" by Annie Berthold Bond is an excellent guide for non-toxic cleaning recipes.
VeganMom
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LATONYARICKS
4/9/06 6:02 P
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You can find all sorts of pictures through the google image file. These are the words I used to find pics to help my kids stay on track with healthy eating:
cavity
cavities
tooth decay
child obesity
**words like that
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LATONYARICKS
4/9/06 5:57 P
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You said, "his kid...." I would definitely need more specifics because if you are helping to raise your husband's child from a previous relationship, then she would certainly have to understand your boundaries in your household. Now, if this is your child as well, then, I'd have to ask if you have been consistent and firm with your ground rules. This is very important. Children need to know their place and that rules are established so that everyone can live in a safe, responsible manner. They also need to know and fully understand the consequences of not adhering to the rules. If their lack of respect goes unpunished, then one can only assume that it will continue or get worse. 
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LUCKYSTAR63
4/9/06 4:22 P
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| Thanks for the info! Now how do I get thru to my hubby about his kid who thinks rules don't apply to her about anything? I don't know about any of you guys but have you noticed that "Diet food" costs more than junk food?
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LITTLEBLUEDRESS
4/9/06 2:18 P
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To LATONYARICKS, thank you so much for all the extremely helpful suggestions!!!! I had put a number of them into effect before I read all this but it helps to know I'm on the right track. I like the idea about the pictures, where can I find the ones you used?!
everyone has been so supportive, it's great! I did ask him if he could buy bottles of wine instead of the boxes. I explained that the boxes were just too easy to use. I also said that I know that the boxes are more cost effective but that it would be helpful if we tried the bottles. After I saw how many calories a glass of wine was and I was having 2 glasses a night I realized that I had to do something as well. so, I have 5 - 24 oz bottles of water, with a dash of lemon juice, on the same counter as the wine. I fill them up in the morning and I try empty at least 4 of them before I go to bed. I have not had any wine for a week and I feel great!
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LATONYARICKS
4/9/06 12:52 P
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Continue to take care of yourself. You will have to lead by example. Continue to buy healthy foods and drinks. Be certain that your cubbards and refrigerator are full of the good stuff. Make sure that the healthy foods dominate the junk foods. I have also found it helpful to post information on my refrigerator about the benefits of a healthy lifestyle (what foods are good for you and what foods are bad for you). Keeping these little bits of information on the refrigerator encourages you to continue to eat healthy and also reveals to your husband the need to make changes in his lifestyle. You really don't have to say a word to him. He'll get it eventually. With most men, it takes a wake up call to get through to them. Not our wonderful words of wisdom. Try your best to think positive and educate your children as much as possible about the benefits of healthy eating and exercise. The more they know, the more they will understand. Before you know it, your children will turn their noses up to the junk food. One way to get through to your children is to surf the internet with them searching for photos of what happens when you don't live a healthy lifestyle. For example, showing my children photos of cavities and decaying teeth really got the message of eating too much sugar is bad for your teeth. They couldn't believe their eyes. It was a little wake up call for them.
As I mentioned before, just continue to take care of yourself and your children. Ignore the bags of chips and cookies that your husband places in the cubbard. Just place a large bag of pretzels or popcorn next to it. When your children ask for a snack, explain to them which snack is healthier. Make sure you don't put your husband down by saying anything to your children like, "Well, this is what your Dad bought and it's not good for you." That's not even necessary. It will only make your husband want to buy even more junk food. Your children will know who bought what types of foods. Just point out the healthy ones to them and explain why they should avoid the junk food. Education is the key!
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LUCKYSTAR63
4/9/06 12:32 P
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| Hi everybody! I am very familiar with no support issue. My husband hasn't expresssed it in words about my weight gain but in other places. He allows hi daughter to eat my special diet food when she is here! I'm so frusturated with it ALL that I have stopped buying diet foods.
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For all of you who have husbands who just aren't interested in nutrition: I have a husband who won't believe anything until he sees it on TV. He has seen a show advertised called "Honey We're Killing Our Kids" that is supposed to be on this Sunday(4/9) and now he's really interested in it. Last night when our older son wanted seconds at supper, he told him to wrap it up and save it for snack. He never would have done this before, and he hasn't even seen the show ! So have your husbands check this out. It's supposed to be about how you feed your kids today will affect their health as adults. I'm not much of a TV watcher, but I know my husband and son will watch it and fill me in.
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| HOMEBODY, I am still new to this place and haven't tried any recipes... yet. I have been checking them out though and I know I will try some soon.
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Little Blue Dress, I know it is hard, but try to focus on YOU. Of course it wouldbe great if your husband was on board, but it looks like for now, he is not. But you can still do the right thing for yourself, and I bet friens and other family members will notice soon
((hugs))
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NETLOCMOMMA
4/3/06 2:18 P
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My hubby learned not to bring crap into the house when it all ended up in his car. I told him the next time it would be in the garbage. If I have to sit in this house all day, I don't have to I choose to, then he is not going to poison it.
I agree with the statement if you don't want it in, don't bring it in. Let your husband know that the diet in the house is changing, not only for you, but for him and your children. There isn't a person alive that will be unhealthy because they had to stop eating garbage food.
If he has a problem with the food, there is probably more to the issue and you should try to talk to him. My hubby admitted that he was scared once I got thin I'd leave him. Yeah right..like I'm going to just throw away the 13 years it's taken to get him just how I want him! lOl!
Men can be silly though...make sure you put things in such a way that it sounds appealing to him.
Good luck!
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| That's a good point ! My husband has never, ever, ever said anything about me gaining weight or looking bad, so I can forgive him for not giving many compliments. Especially since my 7 year old son is always saying,"Mommy, you're beautiful !"
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LITTLEBLUEDRESS
4/3/06 2:09 P
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I know he loves me, god knows he's put up with a lot from some members in my family, even on our wedding day! he has stuck by me through a lot and I love him for it and am very graterful, (even though he's not the most emotional person I've ever known, it runs in his family.)
the thing is would be nice to know if he is even noticing changes and that he realizes the effort I'm making. a few times when I had lost the weight before and I told him about it he said he noticed but didn't know what to say. we've been together for 20 years now, married for 13 in september. other people would say things but he never would. we all need a little ego boost once in a while and it would be nice if I didn't have to leave my own house to get it.
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LITTLEBLUEDRESS
4/3/06 2:09 P
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I know he loves me, god knows he's put up with a lot from some members in my family, even on our wedding day! he has stuck by me through a lot and I love him for it and am very graterful, (even though he's not the most emotional person I've ever known, it runs in his family.)
the thing is would be nice to know if he is even noticing changes and that he realizes the effort I'm making. a few times when I had lost the weight before and I told him about it he said he noticed but didn't know what to say. we've been together for 20 years now, married for 13 in september. other people would say things but he never would. we all need a little ego boost once in a while and it would be nice if I didn't have to leave my own house to get it.
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My husband has NEVER said aanything about my weight gain, so when he is also silent about the loss I just figure that is the way he is. I know he loves me for me.
Some husbands are threatened by their wives weight loss. They may think that if you start looking good you might start looking around.
We will be married 21 years this month and I have always told him that I already have one man, why on earth would I want another?
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Hi!
My husband has been supportive,but hasn't "celebrated" with me on the weeks that I lost. I just tell him I'm making something different for supper (he knows I like to cook) and I don't tell him it's "healthy" lol!
Well, he got on the scale the other day and has lost 10 lbs and he was so excited to tell me! lol Not that he needed to lose anything. And I was excited for him.
I think women and men just see things differently.
You do have a right to be concerned with your husband's health.
All the Best,
Laurie
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I've had good luck with some of the Spark recipes. I just don't tell anyone that they are diet recipes. So far I've tried the Scalloped Potatoes and the Bavarian Beef, and my husband loved both !I usually fix something to fill the kids up too if I think they might not eat the main dish. Last night with the Bavarian Beef I made mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and gave the kids some fruit with that, and my husband ate all of it. I just try to make sure there's something the kids will eat somewhere in the meal, but I don't cook 2 meals - I hardly have time to cook one !
I didn't tell anyone I was dieting, but I just made small changes in what I buy and cook, and so far no one's complained. No one's commented on my weight loss either, but that's OK. My clothes are practically falling off and I can wear a size 12 for the first time since 1992.
Good luck !
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LITTLEBLUEDRESS
4/3/06 7:18 A
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I do all the grocery shopping as well and most of the cooking. it's when he buys something and brings it into the house. there are so many times when I just want to take a vacation from my family! how do people deal with a dh and children (I know their only 3 1/2 & 6 1/2) who are picky eaters? maybe I'm too sensitive to their comments and I need to toughen up.
I've made the same offer with no takers. gotta keep chuggin along!
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I admit - I'm not always a nice person but if it's not something I want in the house I don't buy it. I'm the one who does the grocery shopping and cooking so I have control. I go on the theory that if my dh doesn't like it - he's welcome to start doing the shopping and cooking. He's yet to take me up on the offer.
You need to take care of you! Do what you need to to improve your health.
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LITTLEBLUEDRESS
4/2/06 10:21 A
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| my husband is not very supportive in my weight loss efforts. even when I was following another weight loss plan and i had lost 39 lbs. he never said anything about the way I looked. he is not very encouraging and it is a real downer for me. I've tried to explain to him that I'm not just doing this for myself, I'm doin it for the family, we have 2 girls, 3 1/2 and 6 1/2. I want to lead by example in what we eat and how we stay healthy but he just doesn't seem to want to have any part of it. I am also thinking about him because he has diabetes, he is not on medication and does not need to track it but he does need to be careful. he aslo has high cholesterol and his doctour has told him that he needs to eat better and exercise more. we have actually gotten into arguments about junk food in the house. he just doesn't seem to care and it doesn 't help me.
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