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| You could make a memory box and fill it with hand prints, paintings and artwork as well as letters and notes when you think of things you would like to tell him about. With technology today you can keepsake video clips from your phone and little recorded messages from the children. Maybe avoid baked items, could get a little mouldy. I've found this a fun way of keeping records and is as enjoyable to make as it is to receive.
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Thanks KayJay, I appreciate your kind words. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel - but often I feel sad because he is missing so much of the kids special times.
Blessings,
Babs
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| Babs382, I'd say your the best kind of family, loving and dedicated no matter what the obstacles. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger, in your case it's definitely true and well done to you, keep in there, things worth having are worth waiting for.
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Not certain what type of family we actually are. My first dh is deceased. My second dh adopted my sons in addition to bringing a son into our marriage. Years later we added a delightful daughter. That part seems rather traditional. BUT, he has lived in another state for the last 2 years and commuted (400 miles) home at every opportunity. It stinks, it will change, but for now, it stinks. I feel like I am a single parent with a double income!
We are very conservative in our spiritual beliefs.
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| five kids, four fathers, three husbands, two step daughters and one life to enjoy it all.
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Well it just my son and I. I am nontraditional I guess. I am mormon and am a single mom; those two words don't usually go to together.
I work graveyards and spend all day spending with my kid; so i am like a stay at home mom because i can do whatever i want with my kid during the day; but also a working mom. It works for us since I can watch and see my kid grow and spend evey moment possible with him.
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| My eldest daughter is now seventeen and her father last saw her on one of his three ever visits when she was two. We split when she was three months old. He recently wrote to her and she isnt in the least bit interested in writing back to him. At the end of the day its his lose not hers!
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| Well, let's see. Me and my husband were 15 and 17 when we started dating. I got pregnant 4 months later. We got married when our daughter was a little over a year old. We've been together for 13 years (married 11 next month). Four years ago my 14 year old brother moved in with us and we became his legal guardians. He will be 19 in July and still lives with us. DH has been in the navy for over 11 years so I get to play single mom for up to 8 months at a time. Despite all that, I think we're a pretty normal kind of family. lol
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what a great idea!
We're quite non-tradional. I married my dh when I was 19, he was 32 (and a recent divorcee w/three children under the age of five-two with special needs)...we happily raise our children under one roof a refused to conform to the term "blended." Our children are all our children.
We added to are family after are first year of marriage, two little girls later and we are now hoping for more...and we're happily married.
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LAYERS_OF_ME
4/6/06 9:45 P
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| LOL! More presents for ME!
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Yeah, they usually end up giving me the gifts. I told them I'm their mom and their dad and I accept all gifts!
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LAYERS_OF_ME
4/6/06 4:25 P
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| I'm a teacher and if I knew some of my students did not communicate with their fathers regularly, we'd make the gift for another man in their lives (grandpa, big brother, uncle, partner)... or heck, MOM gets another gift. I tell them at the beginning that this was originally a day to honor fathers, but the great thing about it is we can honor anyone we feel like.
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Being a single parent is getting to be pretty traditional these days, but that's my story. However, my kids inform me that most of the kids they know whose parents aren't together at least get to spend some time with both parents. My oldest daughter hasn't seen or heard from her dad since she was about 3 and she's 8 now. My youngest daughter only hears from her dad 3-5 times a year, with the exception of last year when she didn't hear from him at all. The last time she actually saw him was when she was about 3 and she's 6 now.
My kids have told me several times that they hate being the only one is their class each year with no dad to give the father's day gift to that their class makes. And being the only kid in their class unable to write a "my dad is _____" or "what I love most about my dad is_____", and so on and so forth. It makes me feel really bad, but what can I do? I can't force my oldest's daughter dad to even care that she exists, and my youngest daughter's dad is a VERY unfit parent. I don't have any brothers so there's no uncle able to step in as a role model. As a matter of fact, I don't know any men fit to be a role model to a roach, much less 2 impressionable little girls.
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| In some ways the fact that everyone is so individual and different is the one thing about us all that is the same.
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HEAVYHITTER
4/5/06 5:55 P
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My mother had me as a result of a one night stand - we don't know who my father is. She met my adopted father when I was 2. They had a child when I was 5 and married when I was 14 (and adopted me). They had another child when I was 18.
They divorced this year. I am 25, sister 21 and brother 7.
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LAYERS_OF_ME
4/5/06 5:41 P
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| Good point Kayjay, and wouldn't it be nice if the diversity that seperates us be considered the glue that binds us? Isn't that the principle this country was founded on? I guess I started this thread because I saw so many threads in this area that seemed to take on a very evangelical tone, and I was hoping to create for something for the rest of us.
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| what is a traditional family these days anyway
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Well my family would be catagorized as non-traditional. My hubby and I have a his-mine and ours thing going. The oldest is mine, the next his, and the younger two ours. But all four live with us and always have which makes it feel like a traditional family. We have the pets and cars and house and careers just like everyone else. but we have a larger extended family too.
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ISABELLAMIRAC
4/4/06 11:57 A
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For all the talk about 'traditional' families - I often feel there are more of 'us' out there then them - and ask any child raised by loving people, in whatever combination, and they will be much happier than a child raised in a loveless unhealthy 'traditional' home. BUT, time to step off my soapbox... stay at home, work from home single mom - one 2 yr old daughter - and live-in boyfriend. who loves oreos... sigh
nice to be be among other purple elephants. Oh, and those of you in red states - it's so worth it to move blue!!! Moved from OH to Boston just over a year ago - much happier and less frequently judged by rude strangers here!
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SARAHMAE22
4/4/06 11:20 A
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| I live in a red state... hoping to move to blue at somepoint. I forgot to add in my first post that we also had our first child while we were both in college. Then we got married when he was 6mo. old - he was a little ring bearer in our wedding, he had a little tux and everything! I also want to become a foster parent, but we are waiting until our children are older.
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Hi,
I'm kinda new to this site. And nontraditional family. My husband is Asian and i'm white. So we have a multicultural home. I love it and i'm happy for my kid to grow up in a home like this.
We have alot of different beleifs and traditions, but we both want to be healthy and fit. And we want our family to be healthy.
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| HI, I work and my husband stays home to run the house and look after the children not so much untraditional as reversed. The children are five daughters so the poor man is a bit out numbered.
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PARTTIMER
3/31/06 11:02 P
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| LAYERS_OF_ME , I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. My oldest was an adoption only from India. The other 4 came to me as foster children with the hope of adopting. It took over 2 years from placement until I was able to finalize their adoptions.
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LAYERS_OF_ME
3/29/06 9:54 P
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| Right on, PartTimer! Did you foster these children before adopting them?
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Nontraditional,
I'm a single parent of 5 children all adopted - 1 from India, 3 biracial, 1 caucasian. Two sets of birth siblings in there but no common father. 2 special needs children. 2 with on going (minor???) medical issues.
But we're a family and that's what matters.
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PREEMIEMOMMY
3/28/06 6:34 P
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Nontraditional.....
We met on the internet in a NASCAR chatroom 6 years ago. He is from Canada and I'm an American. We have been engaged for 6 years this coming September. We have a 26 week preemie girl who will be 5 in November. My fiance is Pentacostal and I'm Catholic and my daughter was baptised Catholic. We don't attend church but I do practice somewhat at home. We have liberal views.
I'm hoping to get married sometime in this millennium lol
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| Our family is traditional in that I am a woman married to a man, but our boys are adopted. We are caucasion, one son is African American and the other is Hispanic. I guess that makes us a little bit nontraditional.
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CARROLL8976
3/27/06 8:57 P
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| Nontraditional families, huh? Well, I did everything backwards. We had a one night stand that lasted for seven years, then had a baby, THEN started dating, then moved in together. Now, we live in the suburbs in a brand new house, and I wonder how the heck I got here :) Oh yeah, most important - After ten years, he finally got down on his knees and said he loves me :)
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LAYERS_OF_ME
3/27/06 8:43 P
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| SARAH, yes, odd for my location as well. I live in a 'blue state' but live in a 'red county'. Sometimes it feels pretty lonely.
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BUFFEDSTUFF
3/27/06 7:52 P
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| all families need support the important thing is that we all love our families and want the best for our family
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SARAHMAE22
3/27/06 9:58 A
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| Hmmm... Well, we are traditional in that I am also a woman who is married to a man, and I stay at home with my children. However, we are also a very liberal family which is very odd, especially where I live and in some online communities that I participate in.
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LAYERS_OF_ME
3/26/06 10:38 P
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In reading through all of the posts here, I see that there is a lot of support out there for traditional families, but not a lot of threads for those who are non-traditional. If there's something about your family that you would define as non-traditional, share with the class!
I guess my family is traditional in the sense that I'm a woman, married to a man and together we have three daughters. But it kind of stops there. We married young, are still together after 15 years, put each other through college, lived in poverty for years and pulled ourselves out together with no help from family. We now have careers, own a home and drive a minivan. However, we choose not to go to church and have a rather liberal perspective on most things. I could share more ways in which we're non-traditional, but I want to see where the discussion goes.
Okay, who's next?
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