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That's a tough one since, at this age, they don't really see the impact of what they do or say. They also don't see the future and how today impacts where they will be in 10 years. My daughter also tends to focus on what she doesn't have instead of what she does have. I'm not sure what to do in your situation. Has she gotten any better since that blow up? Maybe losing some of her privileges until the grades come up would help. We've done that with our daughter and she's brought up grades in 2 classes. The attitude continues to surface but I zone out when she does that. I told her after the last incident that I have decided to stop dealing with her when she's snotty. I don't need the high blood pressure or stress so until she can talk to me with a level tone then she might as well just go talk to the wall. It's helped some, particularly when she discovered that I wouldn't address her permission slip for a school event she wanted to go to until she toned her attitude down. Her father and I have also started coming up with a plan for the summer that I don't know if she'll like. She tends to think she can have anything as well. A friend did something similar with her daughters and it seemed to help. I will basically 'pay' her as if she had a job. Then, we'll sit down with her 'paycheck' and she'll have to pay her 'bills'. She will have to pay me rent, utilities, phone, cable, food, etc... My friend did that and it really showed her girls that they need to get an education if they want to be able to get the things they want as well as those they need. So, we're going to try this and see how it goes....
Good luck with your daughter Scrapper....
Lyn
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Roadkatt, I share your pain. I keep telling my daughter that you need to be careful of the words you choose to use when you're angry because once their said, you can't undo them. You can apologize and the other person can accept your apology. But those words have crossed your lips and entered the other person's heart. My daughter is being absolutely dreadful. I know all teenagers can be difficult at times. It comes with the territory. I've already raised two children through this age and helped raise my neice and nephew. They all pulled the same thing. But this daughter is completely opposite. She lives in her own world and she truly feels as though she should be able to have whatever she wants, when she wants it and if not, she will scream and yell and say absolutely horrible things.
This latest thing is her report card. It was sent home on April 21 but she failed to give it to us. The only reason we found out about it was because one of her teachers called the other day to ask me to come pick my daughter up (it was after school) and to tell me how far behind she was and how rude she was being. Well, that call lead to another call and I finally talked with the principal who asked me if I had received her report card and knew what her grades were. She had a 1.7 GPA! She has been an honor student for the past four years. What happened? Anyway, once we finally got the report card out of her, she said it was none of our business - that it was her business. She was also placed on academic probation for cheer (which she didn't tell us either). Now, because we've taken all her priviledges away and grounded her she tells us that it's our fault her grades are low, and that her life would be better if she could just go live where she was the only child. Wow, this is the child who is a cheerleader, has her own cell phone, is always going to movies, the mall and friends house. She travels every summer to visit one of her friends who's moved out of state. I pointed out to her that she had all these privileges because we whole-heartedly trusted her. She gave us no reason not to. If she asked for it and there wasn't a good reason to say no, she got it. So, in a nutshell, she's a spoiled brat who doesn't appreciate what she has and only focuses on what she doesn't get. She's threatening to move in with her birth mother (in another state). Her birth mother doesn't want her. That's why she gave her and her two sisters up when they were young. But, right now her bio-mom is the hero and now her dad and I are the devil.
I'm sorry to vent but I'm really stressed about this one. She was just so mean and hurtful and she broke her dad's heart. He picked up the pieces when her mom left. He had to help the three girls and himself heal over this so to have this thrown in your face hurts him badly. I'm offended, but I've only been in the picture for 7 years. He's been there her whole life.
Any words of wisdom? Thanks for letting me vent.
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Just checking in with everyone. Things are going about as well as usual with my kids. My daughter is doing the whole snotty thing. She really hurt my feelings Friday last week being miss snotty pants. I asked her a question and she replied with an extremely snotty attitude. I told her I didn't appreciate it and she said I was being snotty first. My hubby chimed in and told her that I hadn't and she owed me an apology. Well, instead she huffed, screeched, and stomped off to her bedroom. We left her there because I just didn't feel like getting into an argument. She came out later and brought me a bagel for a snack. I was probably being a bit snotty myself but I gave it to my husband as she walked off. About an hour later she came out of her room and asked if I ate the bagel. I told her no, I gave it to her father. She told me it was supposed to be an apology. I told her that I wasn't into accepting apologies that didn't mean anything and walked off. We also cut her off from her computer both Friday and Saturday due to attitude and by Sunday things had started to turn around. She's been ok since then although I have no illusions that there won't be setbacks. Now it's her brother's turn to be a little snot head. They seem to take turns with it.
Well, gotta get back to work...
Later, Lyn
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Satti, Hope things go well. Keep in touch.
Lori
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/24/06 1:15 P
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good to hear things are some what better there satti
I hope things continue for you
bama girl
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Hi Everyone
Just stopped in to say I had a wonderful weekend. Took the cub scout pack camping at a district jamboree. We had such a wonderful time. We came in 2nd for over all pack spirit. Really proud of my boys. I havent weighted in but I'm sure I lost something, after all the walking we did to different events. I did'nt not think I would be good at leading a whole pack of boys when I took over as Pack Master 9months ago. Thought I lacked leadership skills, but I'm learning fast and enjoying every moment.
Hubby and me are going to the doctor today. I'll let you all know how it turns out. We all agrued once over the weekend, that is a plus.
Take care all, I will try to check back in latter.
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| Satti, My thoughts are with you. I pray everything works out. Keep your chin up and be strong for yourself. A good friend once told me that putting your self first doesn't have to mean being selfish. I thought a lot about that phrase and realized he was right. Keep in touch. We're behind you.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/20/06 10:50 A
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hang in there Satti, it is hard when you have problems with your spouse. Lose the weight for you and not for him, but I tend to want to eat more if I am depressed so I know it is hard with all the stress of life.
Keep keeping on everyone and we will get there. I have a friend that has lost 88 pds and it has took her a year and a half but it has been so worth it.
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Good Day Everyone
Easter weekend was a weekend from Hell. Hubby just wanted to agrue all weekend. I wont bore you with details, but Monday I told him that I have to start taking care of myself. I told him that if he does'nt go see is doctor for depression that I was moving in with my sister. He said he will go to the doctor. I will wait to see. Needless to say that I have not been doing great with my weight loss with all this stress. Chat with you all latter
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DAVEYSGIRL
4/17/06 2:25 P
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Hi y'all! The subject of this post really hit home for me! We have two teens living with us and one who visits. I am only 26... so raising teens is something I haven't quite prepared for yet. But, here I am anyway. My youngest stepdaughter tries to make everyone's life as miserable as she possibly can.... and it really gets out of hand. She is constantly challenging our authority by seeking revenge against disciplinary actions. It's tiring and stressful. Hopefully, it will pass - but, like someone else said.. not sure if that will happen until her 20s.
My cousin, a 15 yr old male, however, is incredibly athletic and encourages me to stick to my diet and fitness plan. He also encourages me to not be embarassed about the weight I carry currently - even asking me to sit out and get a tan with him so he'll have company. He also suggested we join a gym together... which would be cool, cause I don't want to go it all alone! Plus, he's very knowledgable about exercise and athletics.. so, he gives me a lot of pointers and new things to try.
His helpful guidance and supportive attitude FAR outweigh my stepdaughters gloomy disposition about life in general.
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Sounds so familiar. With my 16 year old, he kept challenging me. He had no fear that I would take his X-Box away because he had used his own money to buy it. So, when I'd had enough, I went the breaker box and turned the breaker off to his room. THAT got his attention.
With my 14 year old, she has a cell phone (daddy did that). When her attitude got so bad, her grades fell and she was just generally a PITA, her dad took her cell phone away. What was supposed to be a 2 week grounding turned into 6 weeks because we got a report from school which showed that she hadn't been turning in assigments. She's got her phone back now and I've noticed that sometimes the attitude surfaces but when we've had enough and scold her, she stops and straightens up.
With our 10 year old - the one with Fetal Alcohol from her birth mom - she was told numerous times by her psychiatrist when she was 8 that if she didn't stop with the threats and temper tantrums, she would be admitted to the hospital for observation. Well, I think that "unknown" appealed to her for some reason. She not only didn't get better, she got worse. Finally, she was admitted to the Mental Health Ward and was an inpatient for 5 weeks while they evaluated and changed her meds around.
So, changing and following through with our "threats" is a MUST!! Good luck everyone.
Lori
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/16/06 5:10 P
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| My 14 year old daughter was getting so bad about arguing back at me if I told her to do something or not to do something, so the other day I told her she could not do something and she started with her attitude and I had enough, so I went into her room and unplugged her tv and took it out of her room. I had been telling her if she did not watch her attitude that I was going to do that, she did not believe me, well now she is a believer and is doing better. She knows now if she does not act right that she will lose something. I told her it will be the computer next time.
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SCRAPPER6,
For a moment there, I thought my daughter was at your house! My daughter is 14 she gets poor grades, wouldnt listen, wouldnt try, argued constantly with my 7 year old who ususally ended up crying! I know exactly how you feel. Back in January I told my daughter to do the dishes and she had a fit, she picked up a knife and held it tight, I told her to put it down or she would find herself in the juvenile home....of course being the IN CHARGE person that she is, she thought I was joking...I called 911 told them that she had a knife and wouldnt put it down, they picked her up and she spent a week in juvenile home and is now on probation for the next 9 months! Her court order states that she must follow all house rules, must go to school every day, must turn in EVERY assignment at school, must participate in counseling...and other musts...Guess what! For the first time in her whole life...She is on the honor roll, and I also make her participate with me walking which not only helps her, but it gives us time together! And she HAS to do it, so eventually it will become a habit for her!
If your current rules are not working, change them...eventually you will find something that works for you!
Good luck!
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SCRAPPER6
4/13/06 11:24 A
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Good job BamaGirl. I am proud of you!!
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/13/06 10:16 A
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hey ladies
I went and weighed in yesterday and I lost 2 pounds, that makes 18 pounds yoohooo!!!!!!!
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Hey all!
If you want to help me with an assignment for school (talking to parents of teens), could you please jump over to my "more help from parents of teens" thread?
I would much appreciate!
You are all awesome and thanks so much in advance! :)
You're helping a college Sparker. :)
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Thanks for your support scrapper, it is very helpful. It is hard some times not to get sucked up in his depression. About 5 out of 6 times I can reminded myself, to take care of myself, but other times he is just over whelming. Then you through teenagers in the mix and O'boy it can get stressful. We go to couple counceling(he refuses to go on his own). Our counselor told him again that he needed to go to the doctor and get on meds, but he keeps saying no. Like is said it very frustrating.
Take Care
Tommorow is a new day
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SCRAPPER6
4/11/06 12:52 P
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Satti31, I hear you. My husband doesn't suffer from depression - he suffers from alcoholism. He fully admits it. His mom is also an alcoholic which is most likely why he became one. His dad died when he was 3 and his mom lost it. When he was a teen, he had no dad and his mom was always drunk so he started drinking. He grew up a lot when he joined the Marines. But, what do military men do? They drink. Anyway, a dozen years later he still drinks. He knows he drinks too much. He knows he can't really help himself BUT, he repeatedly says that he will outgrow it soon. Two of his daughters from his first marraige are affected by Fetal Alcohol Effects and one is particularily a difficult, angry child (she's 10 chronologically but about 3-4 mentally). We have custody of them and their bio mom never sees them. But, I try telling him it's not a good thing for the girls to see him drinking when they know that they suffer from the effects of alcohol. Well, he doesn't blame the family but I'll tell you what, when family issues arise and he's been drinking, he doesn't help the situation. He's not mean or abusive. He just gets silly and stupid. So, when you have a teen being stupid or having an attitude and a parent (who's been drinking) being stupid or silly - things don't improve very quickly.
I know I can't fix him and I can't make him seek help. I pray a lot and I have decided to take care of myself. I can't be what I need to be if I'm not healthy and neither can you. You need to focus on your health and well-being so that you can naturally be a stronger person. It's one day, one situation at a time. I love my husband. He's funny and very caring. I just hate his drinking. Take care of yourself and you will feel better and have more wisdome, despite what your husband does.
Lori
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Hi Everyone
Wow ROADKATT you really went to bat for your daughter, I'm glad to hear it.
New development with my oldest gave his two notice at his job. I did'nt care for the place he worked at. The owner was'nt real honest and it was'nt a good enviroment for my son. He is in limbo and I do not care much for that either.
The biggest stress in my life believe it or not is hubby, not the teenagers. He suffers from depression and will get no help. He believes it is not him, but our family. So if the family changes the depression will go away. It makes it very difficult to have a simple conversation with him, less lone a serious one.
Help me spark buddies, I'm pulling my hair out.
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Bama_girl...that teacher should be reported for purposely injuring a child. He may not have received any lasting injury from having his foot stepped on but that was still inappropriate. We just went through something similar with my daughter. One of her teachers has a policy that any late work must be turned in at "Family Reading Night" held once weekly. We were told this was a voluntary thing at the media center from 6:30 to 8:00 on Thursday evenings. Well, we get there so she can turn in a couple late papers and find out that even tho we were there to take her home she could not leave until it was over. The time was also extended til 8:30. Now, if my child needs detention then fine, tell me that. But don't lie to me and tell me it's volutary then don't let my take my child home when she's done with her work. We went to the school board about it since my father-in-law is the president of the school board and asked him to look into it. Well, come to find out that the program was intended to allow kids to use the media center during off hours and it is supposed to be voluntary. The thing about not allowing kids to leave until it is done was never intended. They weren't to be able to leave alone or with another child but the intention was that the parents could take them before the thing was done. So, last week we got to test it out. We dropped her off to finish a small paper and then returned about 45 minutes later to pick her up. This teacher comes flying up to the desk (on a low flying broomstick i'm sure) to tell us that we couldn't take her. My husband informed her that we had gone to the school board and had spoken to not only them but to the superintendent and the principal and had been told that this was not the intention of the program. That the kids could leave if it was with the parent signing them out. She was not very happy and told my daughter the next day in class that she supposed she would have to be nice to my daughter now because she knows people in high places. I can't stand this teacher for one thing and even tho I know I shouldn't feel this way I do feel like she got her come-uppance. But i really felt that this was wrong. You're right...we have to be our kids advocates when it comes to school. Some of these teachers don't really have a clue yet. For the most part they are great people and I wouldn't want their jobs (i'd end up bald and crazy) but a few really need to be reminded what they are there for.
Good luck....i need to get some sleep...
Lyn
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Woots!!!! to you BamaGirl. That is awesome that your losing weight, even through such stressful times. I have been a bit stuck on my weight loss. I have 3.5lbs to meet my first goal. I weigh in tomorrow and keep you updated. How is your son doing in school this week?
My youngest is like your child Scrapper6 he doesnt get sick often. But when he does his tempature shots up fast, you have to keep and eye on him. His doctor recommended giving him child strength advil and tyneol, because the both attack a fever different. So I give him both at first then I alternate, every four hours. Seems to help.
Take care all.
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Way to go BamaGirl. You should be so proud of yourself. You have been through so much and what with worrying about your son, a weight loss is wonderful. I hope your son is feeling better. Here in Washington state, we have been seeing a rise in cases of the flu. The school district that my kids go to have been seeing absenteeism rates of 22%. Two of my children have spiked temps. My 14 year old ended up with a temp of 103.5 and was diagnosed with a sinus infection. We have to watch her temp though because she seems to spike really high temps. A couple years ago, she spiked a temp of 106.2. You talk about scary!!
Then, once I thought we had her all better and back to school, my youngest daughter woke up one morning with a temp of 104.6. Needless to say, she didn't go to school that morning. But, both seem fine now.
Again, congratulations on your weight loss. Keep up the great work and I hope your son gets to feeling better. Take care.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/5/06 4:44 P
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well I went and weighed in today and lost .6 I was hoping for more, but that puts me at 16 pds, I still like 5 pounds to meet my first goal of 21 pounds.
bama_girl
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/4/06 10:42 P
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ladies let me tell you I have had a sick kid, my son had a fever of 102 and they treated him for strep throat and tonsillitis, he hurt all over and chilled, he has a hard time swallowing even water. He is better and will go back to school tomorrow. He was proud that he did not have to deal with his teacher for a couple of days but did not enjoy being so sick. He has not been that sick in a long time. I just hope that me and his sister does not take it, they say it is real contagous.
I go and weigh in tomorrow, I have just been stuck so I am hoping to have some kind of loss tomorrow, wish me luck and I will let you know how it goes.
bama girl
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Hey everyone. I hope I'm not a bother but I'm working on a school project. Would you mind going to my topic in this forum "Parents of teens, please help!" and answer the questions I posted there? It would help me a ton!
I'm struggling in this class and I need to get a good grade on this assignment and I have to get responses through a message board, so it would really help me out if you could take a few minutes.
Spark has helped me so much in my weight loss and so I thought maybe it could help me this way too.
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| Satti31, I agree with you. We need to be our childs advocate when it comes to the schools. There are so many wonderful teachers out there who truly care about our children. Teaching is their passion. Not everyone can be a teacher and I respect them tremendously for the love they give our children. But, teachers should never bully or belittle our children. Best wishes
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| When it comes to your kids and their education you need to make a stand. If you do not like what is going on with your child stand up and say something to the principal or the teacher. I made this mistake with me oldest and I regret til this day. I should have spoke up and did'nt. My husband and I disagreed about my son and his teachers. So I did nothing. Do not be like me and make the mistakes I made. Your son has a right to be treated fairly. Do not wait just because this year is almost over. If you have to meet with the principal six times so be it. Then you know you have done everything possible. My sister probally contacted the school at least 20 times, and she says I will contact them another 20. "My son is not going to fall through the cracks in the system".
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| BamaGirl, you should probably have a meeting with either the teacher and/or the principal. When my youngest son was in Kindergarten, I had problems with his teacher. My son is a "louder and more active" than normal child and the teacher actually told me that my son was "obnoxious". You want to make a mommy mad, you tell her her child is obnoxious. We had a meeting with her and told her that my son is very active. He is incredibly intelligent and needs extra work to keep him busy. He would finish his work before everyone else and he would talk to people. I told her how much she offended me when she made that comment. Unfortunately, there was only one kindergarten teacher so we couldn't trasfer him out. He is now a Junior in high school. He's still loud, active and very intelligent. But, I think if we could have got him out of that class, it could have made a difference for him. If that is an option for you, you might want to consider it. A teacher should never bully a child and if she can't be sensitive to his extra needs, he needs to be with someone who can so that doesn't add extra stress to him. Good luck with. Hopefully, this comes to an end for your son's well-being.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
4/2/06 3:14 P
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Hey girls,
I think my son is doing better about his dad but I am still having trouble with the teacher, she is a kid teaching kids, she just provokes him and I not sure on what to do, I want to go and get her into trouble but I am afraid that she will just make it harder on my child. This is her first class and she does not have any children of her own and she just does not understand how kids are. She leaves kids to take names when she is out of the room, and the kids are not always fair. This kid got my son's name when another child on purpose stepped on his foot and made him hollar. My son had to write sentences and the other did not. then she doubled them when he did not turn it in on time, because he did not feel like he should have got in trouble. I told him to go ahead and write them the one time and I would write a note, Well she made him write them any way and wrote me a note on how she could not let him by, then she on purposely stepped on his foot to make him hollar and then done it again and laughed about it. It made him so upset at her, it was like she was making fun of the whole situation. I am so glad that this year is about over.
Thanks for letting me vent again.
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| SabrinaJL, I hear you. I'm in my room on my laptop now because my 14 year old is in the living room explaining to my husband why he is now so stupid and why she has become so mature and responsible. Well, at least that's the truth in her delusional head. I was trying to do laundry but the garbage was too much for me to take. I don't know what's going on. I'm keeping out of it so that she can't pull me into her little arguement. She is mad at both of us (why me I don't know) but, what can you do. One of these days, she will probably have to come face to face with her words. I sure would hate to be her then.
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I've found my people! I have a 12 year old daughter who is a real PITA. Yesterday I went to pick her up from school because it was raining (I was trying to be nice) and she basically told me she didn't want to be seen with me because I embarassed her. Real nice.
We fight constantly. Mainly about school. Before she hit puberty I never understood people hitting their kids, but now I feel like smacking her in the mouth pretty much daily. I don't, but it's been REAL close a time or two.
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SCRAPPER6
3/29/06 12:36 P
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My bratty teen is at it again. I don't know what gets into her but she will make a poor choice or be snappy to her dad or I and will get scolded. That seems to set her off into one of her "moods". She's in a mood again. She lost all of her priviledges a few weeks ago because her grades dropped and she kept yelling at us and telling her that it was our "duty to listen to her and to not interupt". Well, we calmly told her that we were the adults and she was the child and if she was yelling at us or being disrespectful that we were going to interupt her. She then told us we were rude and we "had to listen to her. That's the way it works. It's 50/50". Again, my husband calmly (with just a hint of sarcasm asked her who told her that line of crud. Which she responded with a loud growl.
Well, again her grades are down and she's supposed to be staying after school to work on some projects but hasn't done it yet. So, her dad told her she was still grounded because she wasn't trying yet. She yelled at him for awhile and repeated over and over that it wasn't fair that she wasn't in trouble because she hadn't done anything wrong and that he was being rude for not shutting up and listening to her. So, he said the conversation was over for a couple days and they could try again later this week. Well, now she's mad at both of us. Even though I never said one word to her about the arguement with her dad. NOT ONE WORD. But, I guess we are both just the scum of the earth. I'm waiting for her to tell us again that she's going to go live with her birth mom for awhile (she's threatened that a few times already). Guess we'll see tonight because I'm sure that the "talk" is going to happen tonight. Guess we'll see.
I have to say though, that I've never been especially patient when someone is accusing me of something that ridiculous but ever since I've joined SparkPeople, I feel much more patient and I don't take it as personally as I used to. The exercise, healthy diet and the support I get when I post messages is helping me tremendously. Thanks for being there everyone. It's definately working.
Lori
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I'm glad to hear your son is doing better. This frustrating message board...i put in a reply and find that sometimes as much as a page worth of messages didn't load...grrr. Anyway, I'm glad he's doing better.
lyn
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Bama_girl...I also don't have experience in the same situation but I have been going through the divorce thing for quite awhile. It hasn't actually happened but my husband has been asked to move out 3 times. Each time he was out for about 6 months then, stupidly, I let him move back in. He is here now but it's only a matter of time before he goes again, I'm sure. He's cheated to many times for me to think he's really changed. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that my 2 kids have had attitude/behaviour problems during all this because it's very unsettling for them. It's not the same as their dad is still around but I did take them to counselling more than once. The counsellors talked to us as a family and to the kids alone when they were ready for it. I think it helped tremendously. They both thought the problems between me and their dad were somehow their fault. It may be that your son is somehow blaming himself for his dad 'leaving' or has some guilty feelings about it. I know that doesn't make sense to us but kids get some really funny ideas about things sometimes. If nothing else it may help him to have someone to talk to that's completely non-judgemental. They know they can talk to us but as my daughter said 'you're my mom...you're supposed to say good things'. It's like they know we're trying to help but they're afraid we're saying what they want to hear to try to make them feel better. Have you thought about enrolling him in a sport or some other activity that keeps him busy? My son was in football for awhile which helped. He took a year off and is ready to go at it again this fall. I can see a definite difference in his attitued and self esteem when he's playing and when he's not. My daughter also is in soccer which has helped her quite a bit too. She started that after her dad explained exactly why I was angry with him and why he had been asked to move out. She was very angry with him, still is, but the soccer seems to help her deal with her anger.
I don't know if any of this helps but I do wish you and your son well. I hope things turn around for both of you. Losing a parent/spouse is very difficult. Remember...we're here for support, venting, whatever....
Lyn
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BAMA_GIRL1987
3/28/06 12:10 P
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THANKS GUYS, I THINK MY SON IS DOING SOME BETTER SINCE HE TALKED TO ME AND I HAD A TALK WITH THE TEACHER. TIME WILL TELL AND TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS IS WHAT THEY TELL ME.
I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING GOOD ON MY DIET AND CANNOT SEEM TO GET BACK ON TRACK. MY WILL POWER IS NOT AS STRONG AS IT WAS, MAYBE I HAVE JUST IT A PLATEAU.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD vacation SATTI? I AM SO READY TO GO ON A VACATION. MAYBE IN A FEW MONTHS.
THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS SCRAPPER
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SCRAPPER6
3/28/06 12:38 A
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Bama_Girl, I'm sorry. I don't have any knowledge in this area either. We are a very dysfunctional, blended family but the circumstances are different. I wish I could give some words of wisdom but I can't. I can let you know that all your friends here at Spark People support you are praying for you and your family. A counsellor might not be a bad idea but maybe it would be more helpful if the whole family went. Your 11 y/o might feel threatened or intimidated to go alone. But, if the whole family uses it as a time to practice speaking what they are thinking, maybe he will allow himself to open up and share his feelings. Just a suggestion. I'll be praying for you and your family. Best wishes.
Lori
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Hi BAMA_GIRL1987
Sorry I did'nt respond sooner I was gone on vacation. I have no exeprince dealing with the situation that you are dealing with. The closest I can come is when my sister got divorced and moved back to California. Her son had troubles dealing with it. He was angry at both of them. She took her son to a therapist. So he can learn the tools on how to deal with the issue. She also learned tools to help him. I would call around and find someone that you and your son are comfortable with. Also I would find books on helping a child deal with his grief. Iam sorry I can not be more help. I just do not have enough knowledge in this area. Take care and let me know how your doing..
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BAMA_GIRL1987
3/20/06 1:46 P
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| HELP!!! my son is 11 years old and is going thru a really hard time right now, his dad died almost 10 months ago and we are all going thru the grieving process still. My son last night opened up to me and I saw how much he was in trouble emotionally and I am so afraid that it is going to scar him for life. It has really depressed me and all I want to do is eat. He is having trouble in school and I know that I need to go and talk to his teacher and hope that I can make her understand that he needs some extra compassion right now. She knows that his dad died but it does not seem to make her show him any extra sympathy and he just does not even want to go to school anymore. He probably is acting out due to all of his feelings over his dad. Is there anybody out there that has had simular problems?
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Hi Everyone
I have hit that same plateau BAMA_GIRL1987 for 2 weeks now. I have increased my exercise, hopefully that will pay off. How nice to have a mini vacation from the kids. Enjoy it while you can girl. I had a pretty easy week with the boys also. Well almost. The "one in the middle" was a bit crouch this week. The oldest refused to go to is meeting tonight. But all 3 have been sick this week with the flu. I'm goign on vacation for a week. I will chat with you all when I get back. Take Care all and keep droppin those pounds.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
3/17/06 3:26 P
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| HI SATTY IT IS NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN. I HAVE HAD AN EASY WEEK WHEN IT COMES TO THE KIDS, THEY WENT AND SPENT THE WEEK WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS IN TENNESSEE. I WEIGHED IN THIS WEEK AND I HAVE STAYED THE SAME I GUESS I HAVE HIT A plateau OR SOMETHING. MAY BE NEXT WEEK.
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Hi everyone
Hey Scrapper, get to hear things are working out with your daughter. I have 3 boys and I know how difficult it can be. I heard girls are a bit harder and more emotional. Just a rumor I heard, not sure since I have no daughters. My hats off to you for helping her get her grades back up.
HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY EVERYONE. 
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SCRAPPER6
3/14/06 11:20 A
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| My teenage daughter has had a rough time. She's pretty much lost all her privileges because of her snotty attitude. She claims that losing stuff doesn't teach her anything BUT... she told me that she's going to start working on her "work ethics" because she's even seen a drop in her grades at school and she's always been an A-B student (now she's getting C-D). I reminded her that if she's going to change, she needs to be consistent and she agreed. Well, yesterday she pulled one 66% grade up to an 88% and she freely volunteered to clean our travel trailer because she was BORED!! Woo Hoo
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Hi everyone
goodness ROADKATT sounds like last weekend was a bet stressful for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and glad to hear she is going to be ok.
I did'nt do well on my diet plan last week or the week before , but easing back into it this week... The last 2 weeks I had the flu and the oral surgery... so I was down in out a bit.
Teenagers are doing ok this week attitude wise. Oldest had to pay a lawyer friend 1500. this week to help with court. Hopefully after next weeks court date.. he learns a lesson and straighten up,, we will see..
Everyone keep losing those pounds,,, WE CAN DO IT!!!!!
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I've been off the thread for about a week and have missed a few things. Congrats to everyone for the weight loss...one pound may not seem like alot to others but we know different! I've had the 2 weeks from hell I think...first I got sick and was in bed for 2 days. I'm still not quite over it but getting better. Then, last week, I get a call from the school and my daughter got her hand caught in a locker and it chewed up her ring finger, right hand pretty bad. She ended up needing surgery to repair the finger. And through all of it she was very much a momma's girl. Friday evening after we got home from surgery she and I sat in my chair (I have a chaise lounge instead of a regular easy chair so it's bigger than normal) and we both fell asleep. I'm still worn out from last week. Luckily my son didn't act up during the whole thing. He was actually worried about his sister! I ended up gaining back what i've lost, not that it was alot but still a little depressing. I know it was all the fast food we had last week. Every day was either take out or something fast at home plus I missed lunch 4 days meaning I ate more at supper than normal because I was starving. Plus I didn't get to work out at all due to all the doctor's visits and such. So, back to the grind this week!
Lyn
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my goodness im readin the thread and im scared bout my boys growing up... not like the bratiness is any surprise ...i was there once and my brother just got out of it kinda and man sometime i didnt know how my mom and dad did it. My bros(3 of them) got away with so much more than i ever did. But anyways there is hope my mom became really good friends .....after i moved out although she still gets a lil nosey but i can look past that :) well i guess i should treasure these moments whe my boys think im the most beautiful and wonderful person 
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| lots of congrats here...ya know im a member of a local TOPS chapter and it has been great...we celebrate and congradulate even for a quarter pound loss...there are so many games and rewards for loosing :)
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| That is so wonderful. You should be proud of yourself.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
3/2/06 1:38 P
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You know sometimes you think that your kids never appreciate anything that you do for them and then they do something to let you know that everything is alright. Well my daughter told me that she had to do this esay for school and it had to be about someone she thought was a hero to her and she wrote about me, and how she thought I was her hero and how I had been strong thru all the hard times with her dad. And then me having had cancer and how I take care of them and work too, and that if it wasn't for me she would be lost.
I cried because I feel like sometimes that they never appreciate anything that I do, so you can imagine how touched I was. Maybe I am doing a better job than I thought with her.
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Way to go Bama_Girl, 15.8 pounds is wonderful. You have worked really hard. I think, from my own experiences, that sometimes kids think of mom as "X" (whatever "X" is). When mom isn't "X" anymore, I think they wonder if we're still mom. Of course, we know we are. I got a haircut once. A more "hip, modern doo". My oldest son didn't like it because it made me look businessy and not like mom anymore.
So, try not to let it hurt. Your son is proud of you and you just need to remind him how fun it's going to be now that you are more able to be active and participate in things with him.
Keep your chin up.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
3/1/06 9:19 P
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Hi everyone, I went and weighed today and lost another pound, that makes 15.8 yippeee!!!!! I am encouraged that if I can lose the first 15 then I can lose another and make 30 pounds. My son really hurt my feelings when I told him that I had lost another pound, He acted like so what, big deal, and that I was not doing good. but I realize that he is a kid and I have to know for myself that I am doing good. I need ya'll for support because I not getting it here thanks for being here for me to vent.
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SCRAPPER6
2/28/06 12:40 A
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| Satti31, sorry you were ill. 2lb gain, that could just be water weight. It will be gone before you know it. Always remember, a few steps forward and one step back is still progress. It just takes a little longer to get there. Take care.
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Hi Everyone
Where is everyone. I have been gone a few days.. sick with the flu. Weigh in Friday did not go well. I actually gained 2lbs. A few steps forward, 1 step back.. I will try again this friday.
Love to hear from you all
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/23/06 12:32 P
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| That is awesome BAMA_GIRL1987 , it is great to see you doing so well.... I weigh in Friday so I will let you all know how it goes.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/22/06 5:20 P
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| THANKS ROADKATT
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Congrats Bama-girl! Give yourself a big pat on the back!!
Lyn
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/22/06 1:04 P
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| I WENT AND WEIGHED TODAY AND I HAD LOST 3.4 POUNDS YOOHOO!!!! I LIKED 2OZS MAKING IT 15 POUNDS. I HAD GAINED 1.4 LAST WEEK SO I WAS GLAD THAT I LOST THIS WEEK. GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS!!!
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Your so right ROADKATT the kids and even the animals feed off our emotions. Our kids behavior they learn from us. Just the no yelling rule changes a house atomoshere so drastically. It is so awesome that your dog helped you discover this. My discovery came through a 4yr old boy. I'm glad you took that 20 minutes to collect your thoughts and your emotions, just a few minutes can make a big difference. I also feel that if your angry, hurt, or dissappointed in something that your child does. That you need to communicate that to them calmly. so they learn from you that it is ok to have these feelings, and it is ok to express those feeling, but you do not have to punch a door, or yell and scream.
That is awesome with your daughter ROADKATT , baby steps one day at a time. We take it one day at a time with our food plan, and our exercise to reach our weight loss goal. So we take it one day at a time with our teenagers and the changes that happen with them are going to be babysteps also. If we have a bad day with our diet, (and eat the cake) or with the kids (they yell or agrue). We just try better tomorrow.
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We actually had a good weekend this last weekend with my daughter. She tried to pick a fight with me Sunday (there goes that day again...why always Sundays???) but I told her I wasn't going to yell or argue. If she wanted to do either she would have to go to the bathroom and fight with herself in the mirror. Or, if she didn't want to do that she could go to her room and leave me alone. I told her I didn't want her out with the rest of us unless she could be civil. She stalked off trying to look like it didn't matter to her but after about 30 minutes she came out and very nicely asked if she could watch olympic ice dancing with us. I told her yes if she could continue to treat everybody with respect. No problems the rest of the evening. I even got a big hug before she went to bed! Wish I could say that will stick and that's the end of the sniping from her but reality is, it will return....sigh.
I have really decided to take your advice Satti....no yelling or arguing in the house, starting with me. I had something happen Saturday that really made me think about how much I yell and scream. We have a pit bull who is just under a year old. He is the sweetest and most well behaved dog I have ever owned in my life. Obedience school was a breeze and he will do anything for a treat. Anyway, my son and I were getting into it and he called me a name (moron or something like that) and ran off through the house. I took off after him with the intent on spanking his little fanny. Well, the dog followed, barking at me, and then he grabbed the edge of my sweater and pulled me back. I stopped what I was doing and let my son run off to his room. I turned and looked at the dog and he was just sitting there looking at me like he just couldn't understand why I was being angry with my boy. He does this everytime anyone in the house raises their voice or starts yelling. He doesn't always grab your clothes but he will do something such as put a paw on your arm or knee to get your attention. He definitely doesn't like us yelling or arguing with one another and lets us know that his people shouldn't be acting this way. It really made me stop and think...if an animal can see that the yelling and screaming has gotten out of hand then why can't I? I settled down and waited about 20 minutes then went into my son's room and we were both able to discuss the issue rationally. I talked to my husband after that and we have both decided that we need to really watch our reactions as the kids both feed off of us, especially my daughter. She rides those hormones like a roller coaster and then feeds off my moods as well. So, no yelling, screaming, arguing. Haha...even the dog will be happier!
Off to work with me....Lyn
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Hi All
BAMA_GIRL1987 you have a big heart!!! Taking your husband back was hard I know, then having him pass away most have been very difficult. I can feel your pain in your words. It is hard being a single mother, My heart and prayers go out to you.
LYNN123 it is nice to know that I'm not the only one with a diffcult teenager. I struggle with the two sides of the coin enabling or helping. I think there is a fine line between the 2 and it is confusing what side you are on it. I think (and that is a not for sure think) that since he suffers from depression, that I worried that kicking him out would just send him into a deeper depression.
I told my son he had to go to counseling he said NO!! I thought a moment and then said we would go together as family therapy, His dad and I and him. He moaned and complained the whole way. But we made him go... He moaned when we came out. We went again, then the therapist asked his dad and I to step out so he can talk one on one. Now he goes alone. I keep my fingers cross that it is working.
SCRAPPER6 My oldest was a puter geek and O' how I wished I let him stay that way. We took him off the puter and told him to get a social life... He went a little to far... The computer world is a safe place for a person to express their inner self. You can be anyone you want to be, you do not have the labels people put on you when they first meet you. It easier to make friends. Getting a Job we told both the boys they did'nt have to work. As long as the are getting decent grades and their wants did not exceed our income. Well their wants did exceed our income. The 16yr old works weekend, but we told him and his boss that if it interfers with his school, football or he starts getting in trouble that we wold make him quite. I feel that once they graduate they have to work for the rest of their lifes, so why rush it. Enjoy being in high school and being a teenager for now. That is just my personal thought. It does sound like you have your hands full with all those wonderful children.
Personal note, it is 9:30pm and oldest is not home yet. He just got paid, I worry that he is spending all his money on parting. I'm hoping he is just a few doors down watching a movie with friends. I let you know the out come.
By the way I'm just winging it here. I do not have the answers, I'm trying to do the best I can with my kids. I hope sharing my heart aches, issues, troubles, help one of you. I most remeber to take care of myself. Other wise I'm not in the right spot to help anyone else. To continue my weight loss one day at a time, not matter the emotional turmoil going on in the house. Night all
Wait with a sigh of relief the oldest just walked in and handed me his paycheck. I can sleep easier tonight.
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SCRAPPER6
2/21/06 10:21 P
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I knew I wasn't the only one with problems. But, I didn't know it was so widespread. I have six children (19, 16, 14, 11, 10 and 6). The 19 year old is on his own and doing OK for himself. The 16 y/o is a junior in high school with absolutely no maturity at all. He is a self-confessed computer geek and has no desire to get a job because it will take away his time on the computer. My 14 y/o daughter is a cheer leader with an attitude the size of Texas. She is a brat. She broke her wrist last week because her "boyfriend" broke up with her. She was so mad (can anyone say "anger management") that she punched a metal door at school. Well, at the minimum, she's off the cheer squad until her Dr. gives her the all clear (I'm broke up over it :) My 11 y/o daughter is pretty good. She's learning how to speak her mind sometimes but she is so gentle that she can't hardly raise her voice. The 10 y/o is a different story. She suffers from Fetal Alcohol Effects and Bi-polar disorder along with several other isms. These were both gifts bestowed to her by her birth mother. Why do pregnant women drink and do drugs when they are pregnant? She is probably going to suffer severely for her entire life. My 6 y/o baby girl is a doll. She is kind and gentle and sweet. Boy, I hope that lasts LOL.
Take care everyone. There's power in numbers. Writing is such good therapy.
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Hi Satti, I too have a son who is going down the wrong path in life. Here he is a senior in high school and he decides he is going to drop out. I tried everything the first 2 quarters to try and get him to go, it was a struggle all the way. I know he is into drugs, to what I extent I don't know. He has his own car, but it was insured under my name. I told him if he passed the drug test I bought at the drugstore he could continue driving under my insurance. He elected not to take it, so his car sits in the driveway, and now he is staying out at his dad's, but with his paternal grandmother since his father is out of state most of the time. I can't imagine that I could ever say to one of my children that they do not have a home to come to, but I think we all need to be careful of the enabling part, which is why I try to do things such as when I put a condition on the car. Unfortunately everything I try to do is undone by his paternal side of the family. I am only hoping that they eventually see what I have been saying for years and that they too start to take the same approach as I am, otherwise they will be enabling him to continue down the wrong path.
I think it is great that your son is willing to go to counseling, even though it was part of an ultimatum (sp?) the fact he took it really does tell you he wants the help. My son refused to go years ago when I knew he needed it, and all his father had to say was "go" and he would have, but his father said "I will handle it". Unfortunately he doesn't follow through. Now 4 years later his dad says to me, do you think he needs counseling AAAUUUGHHH! Maybe I will suggest it again.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/21/06 2:59 P
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I understand what your saying that it is for me also, but my husband died last june of a brain stem stroke and I am by myself now. But I will try to remember not to yell at the kids when they are trying my patience. Hang in there with your son, It must be hard and I feel for you. I still have those years to face and I dread them. It is easy for other people to speak what they would do, but you are the one that is living it and you are the one that has to live with it. Years ago my husband left me and when he wanted to come back I let him and other people thought that I should not have, but I done the best that I knowed to do and things worked out and when he died I had a clear conscience that I had done the best that I could.
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HI everyone
On a more personal note. My 18yr old I'm not sure how I feel. In one hand he is going to therapy.(something he has to do so he is not forced to move out).. We had to do something, very few ways to discipline a 18yr old. Any ways he is going to therapy, I actually thought he would tell us no way. He has improved in a lot of ways. The only thing is he seems a bit distant lately and gets angry quick. I wonder if this is a postive sign because he is working through his issues or something I need to be concerned about.
A little back ground on my 18yr old. He was a drug addict, do any kind of drug he can get his hands on. By November it got really bad for him. He was (is) still in trouble with the court system. He dropped lots of weight, and was crying all the time. Everyone told me to kick him out. To let him hit rock bottom. I just could'nt do that. I wrote him 2 letters, one was how a felt about him when he was born, and all the ways that I love him. All the great qualities that he has now. The other was the things I did'nt care for, that I was angry at what he was doing. That I loved him, but I was'nt going to put up with this crap anymore. Then I made therapy manatory. He is off the bad bad drugs. I know he still smoking and drinking. I hope with the therapy he gives this up also. It is just a very heavy weight on my heart, to see my son, that I love so much go down the wrong road. I will keep you posted. If following my heart to help him works, or if I should have gave him the boot.
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| The "Outside Rule" really works. No yelling, screaming, agruing in the house, you have to take it outside. The kids looked at me the same way "she finally lost her mind". I have to warn you though this just doesnt work one way. It is not just for the kids, it is for you and hubby to. I find that when I am going to lose it with the kids. I step out, cool off, and then come back in and talk to them calmly. If hubby and I have an agruement. I tell him we need to take it outside where it is more private and big ear teenagers can not hear us. This "Outside Rule", really works for a more peaceful house. So do not make the rule if your not going to follow it also.
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/21/06 10:41 A
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satti131
I am trying the out of the house thing when they argue and already my daughter thinks I have lost my mind, but she did not want to go outside to fight with her brohter. lol I will keep you updated on this, you may really be onto something!!!!
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/21/06 10:38 A
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| It helps me to know that I am not the only one going thru these rough teen years and I am just getting started and I do not like it. Maybe we can get thru it together.
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JENNFELICE
2/21/06 9:21 A
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Hey Everyone!
I have the best of both worlds- 15 year old boy then girls ages 14, 3 and 20 months! So not only do I not sleep at night, but I get my son who, when you tell him to do the dishes, takes any dishes in the sink and put them in the dishwasher. Now there could be a pot NEXT to the sink or a spoon on the counter NEXT to the sink but these dishes do not exist. We had a talk this weekend about having pride in your work but I think sometimes that when I talk to him all he hears is that noise Charlie Browns mom always made..wahh wahh wah wah wah wah...SIGH!
At least my daughter is MOSTLY normal. She has her moments when she gets that look like "oh mother you have absolutely no clue what MY life is like cause it was NOTHING like yours!" She's the more reliable of the two though and I thank God I have her cause otherwise I think I'd be absolutely nuts!
Yea for teenagers!
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Wow, I am so glad I found this site. I have a 17 year old son and a 14 year old daughter that are apparently visiting each of your households(I knew they weren't at the moviesLOL) anyway it is nice to have read of similar situations here, I have been beating myself up over what I did wrong!!!!! Now I know, NOTHING, okay well maybe I owe them some psychotherapy sessions, but not like I thought. Thanks for all your sharing, I sure will sleep better tonight. 
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| Wow, it is amazing that so many others have issues with teenagers like me. Actually this weekend pretty smooth. A few little spats between the teenagers, but I reminded them no yelling in the house, that they could step out. Which they didnt want to go outside because it is freezing, so they shut right up. But it was a great weekend. Only issue was my husband, (most be middle age thing), but he is driving me nuts more then the teenagers.
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| We just finished a weekend from hell with my 16 year old son (had his b'day yesterday). He's been jerky and rude, slamming around the house and making everyone as miserable as he is determined to be. Things got really heated Friday and Saturday, this morning he was sullen then this afternoon it was like someone flicked a switch and we got our boy back. Now, our boy isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination but that hell child we were stuck with for the last 2 days made ME want to run away from home. I think the most frustrating thing for me is how quickly the moods can swing. It's like living with Jeckyl and Hyde. and through it all, I kept track of what I ate and didn't eat in response to all the craziness. Hooray for me.
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IAMYOURNURSE
2/19/06 7:46 P
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Hello,
My daughters are 7 and 11. The 11 yr old is a pain at times and she and her sister fight alot. One thing that I have noticed though is that if one gets hurt the other is there in an instant.
My daughters are opposites of each other. The 11 yr old is wound tighter than a spring and the youngest takes most everything in stride. What a combo. One is very picky and self centered and the other tries lots of things and likes to include people in things. The oldest fights about everything and the youngest is usually at her worst when she is tired.
My oh my what a pair they make.
I do love them very muchbut, at times I wish that the oldest was more like the youngest. But then my life would not be so interesting.
LOL to all parents of pre teens and teens.
Michelle
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BAMA_GIRL1987
2/19/06 2:02 P
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| I too have a 14 year old daughter and a 11 yr old son. My daughter thinks she is grown and they fight all of the time, I think I will try the out of the house thing. Me and my daughter do not get along and I am raising them by myself, my husband of 18 yrs died last June from a brain stem stroke, he was only 38 years old. It is so hard to be the only one responsible for your kids. I do not have him to ask if I am making the right decision and if I mess up it is all my fault. I get so discouraged when me and my daughter are at odds. I am glad to know that I am not alone, because I do not know how to raise a teen, it is very hard to be the bad guy all of the time and I can not get them to understand that all I need for them to do is to clean up, get along and be good. thanks for letting me vent, sometimes it helps to talk to someone that has been there.
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| Oh, my goodness, I thought I was the only one who has power struggles with my kids. We recently moved and the kids are even harder as they feel very sorry for themselves. Our biggest struggle is respect for mom issues and resposibility. I do the laundry and only ask that they put up the clothes.. HA! I cook and clean the kitchen and only ask that they bring me the dirty dishes..Ha! To ask them to do anything becomes a beg, plead and then a fight. They also don't want to eat anything I cook although I go out of my way to fix things they like and then they throw in a pizza to the oven, or a hotpocket or a bowl of cereal. We have tried enforcing a family meal but that was misery. My kids are 16 & 13 girls and 5 yr old son. Just nice being able to vent I guess. DH just doesn't get involved, he's very laid back.
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Hello Everyone
OKIEMOM all together I do not have. That is why I log on to this thread, teenagers (kids in general are hard) I think I have read every raising teenager book out there. I worry about my teenagers every time they walk out the door. Espcially the 18yr old, technically he is an adult, but maturity wise he is not. He has gotten himself in big trouble and suffers minor depression. My husband and I are working to help him with both.
5yrs ago my 4 year old was crying that he did not like all the yelling. I had to stop and take a hard look at myself and family. Where did the kids learn to yell,scream and agrue. He was right I was yelling to much. I was yelling at the kids, agruing with my husband. Daily stress was taking a toll on my myself and family. I had taught my kids to yell and scream. So I made a rule NO YELLING FROM ANYONE. First I changed myself and then hubby and I worked together, and finally the kids. It has taken along time. Nothing happens over night. Still there is moments that I have to remind everyone.
I hope by sharing some of my heartache and lessons I have learned will help others. I hope to learn from others to improve myself and family.
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Thanks for the ear plug idea. I'll give that a try. I usually just turn up the radio.
Sounds like you have it all together. I need to try that go off the property thing but it would have to be out of the house off the property would be on a major highway on both sides.
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Hello Everyone
I have 3 boys. #1 is 18 and in trouble over his head. #2 is 16 and has angry issues. #3 is 9, and I would like to say he is perfect, but there is room for improvement.
The 18 and 16 use to agrue constant,(in their early teens) I was going out of my mind. One day I had enough and decieded that was it. I kicked them out of my house!!! I live in a small town so I can get away with this. You might be able to send yours to the garage or the back yard or a seperate room. Any where that is safe and away from you. First I warned them before a agruement broke out. Then a day latter when they started fighting. In a calm voice I told them this is my house and there will be no yelling, from me or them. So I sent them off my property to the church across the road and told them to fight all they want over there. They agrued against it, but they saw I was staying calm and not going to give in. So off they went,they forgot what they where argueing about and where in shock that I was not involved. I had to do that a few times,but the constant fighting stopped. When they saw I was not involved and I was not going to take sides and be the referee, they stopped. Now when they fight which is rarely, I wait for the smoke to clear and talk to them seperate. I tell each how I understand their frustration and what steps can they take to prevent the same agruement happening. I do not give them the solution to prevent agruements, but allow them to think of their own solutions.
OKIEMOM For the 11yr old yelling about loud breathing, buy him cheap ear plugs, make it a joke and tell him you should hear no more complaints in this department. Let him know that you understand his frustration, but that there is a solution.
Our life with teenagers is still crazy, but I see improvement.
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My 11 year old son is so bull headed and can't stand anyone. if one of his brothers breaths loud he say mom will you make them stop. I'm not sure sometimes if he means stop breathing or just so loud. They have allergies so some times they are stopped up or their nose is running. I have 4 boys the 11 yr old can't stand my 10 yr old at all they fight from sun up to sunset. It gets very old and some or most days my nerves are so rattled.
my oldest is 16 and the next is 13 they are very good boys. I hardly ever have to get on to them.
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There must be something going on with Sundays. We can have a relatively good week then Sunday rolls around and we end up with the whole house falling apart. My daughter and I got into it yesterday resulting in her being grounded to her room. Of course, that can be more fun anyway so I went in there and removed all her video games and books. Gave them to my husband to put in the safe. She thought she could go through me to get to them which didn't work. She waited until I was distracted by my husband then ran into our bedroom where the safe is located. Of course, she had a few choice names for me on her way by which set my husband off. He went in there after her, as did I, resulting in a huge pileup in the bedroom door. I now have huge bruises on my legs where we collided. She's grounded from the computer until further notice, which is what set off the whole chain of events in the first place. I'm so tired of this I could just spit. She can be such a good kid but, geez, she knows how to push my buttons. Of course, it doesn't help that my buttons are easily pushed anymore.
It's gotta get better eventually...doesn't it?
Lyn
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My 16 year old son believes that the world revolves around him. Everybody is supposed to act accordingly. I try to tell him he has to think about other people but I guess that message is slow in coming. I do scream sometimes but I try really hard to remain calm and not let it drive me insane. I know this is aweful but sometimes I am glad he is so into video games. When the server is down, he interupts whatever I am doing as if to say...okay, I am lowering myself to your standards, play with me!
I love him but sometimes his me-ism takes new heights and I am not sure he will ever see the light.
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BLONDIE69
2/11/06 10:56 A
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| Hey my bratty per teen has been this way seen she was about 5yrs old and now she is 11. I guess I have another 16 yrs of this until she goes off to college. And I also have a 7yrs old and she and her sister fight like crazy, they can drive me crazy all this time. I wound like to nail both thier doors shut, the house would be much more pleasent.
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| Teens are bratty aren't they. I figure they become humans at about 25. lol. I guess we have a long wait. Keep smiling despite the drama!!!!
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SHAREBEAR45
2/10/06 1:02 P
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I thought i was the only one who was going through this stuff. My dd (12)use to slam the door and then lock it so i got mad and toook the door knob off (dh was really mad oh well)and she still has not got it back (thats been 9 months ago)i am trying not to yell and keep telling here what the punishment is. she kows just what buttons to push with me and that drives me crazy. we are tring to work through this but i do not know if i am going to make it.
This program has beena lifesaver. I use to get so upset and i would eat, know i come in to the computer and work on the food plan for the next few days and then my wanting to est goes away sometines its 20 minutes sometimes its an hour. I could go on and on but i am so glad i found others who are going through some of the same stuff.
Shari
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I think i'm in the same boat rowing with the same oar. My daughter is 13 and has taken bratty to an art form. She knows exactly how to push my buttons so when we argue they can get quite loud. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm the one that's supposed to be calm. I keep thinking that one day things will get better but I have no idea when that day will be. Our problem now is door slamming. She gets mad and storms off to her room slamming the door in the process. The door jam is loose now so she's been told one more slam and the door is removed. This would be the second time she's had the door removed. Privacy is a big deal to her right now so hopefully she'll think twice about slamming it again. Wishful thinking, I know. Responsibility is also an issue. She tries to find ways to blame everyone but herself when things go wrong due to her decisions. Even if you point it out to her the specific decision that caused her problem she'll still try to find a way to blame someone else. I suppose that all goes along with the fact that teens haven't completely developed their powers of reasoning and won't until they are into their 20's but, sheesh....it sure is frustrating!
Lyn
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Hi Everybody,
I have a fairly bratty teenager who likes everyone in the family to be miserable (just like herself). One thing I work really hard to do is not let her effect me emotionally. I think stress really effects lots of people when it comes to overeating. I know it has me in the past. I just ignore her continue with my health choices & go for a walk. Not only is it rewarding to me to be able to weather the storm. It also models to her how to cope with stress in the future. I figure someday she'll become human. I imagine it will take until she's 25 but, someday............
Have a great day all & enjoy life. We are only here a short amount of time make the best of it.
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