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| I have 2 daugheters each of which were completely different when potty training. My oldest was 2 yrs. and potty trained in 2 days. My youngest daughter started sitting on her potty and would use it at 13 months old. However, when we actually started encouraging her, she shut down. We waited till she was 2 and finally had to take her diaper away and put her in underware. That was the trick. Doctors say little boys are harder to train. I think it just depends on the child and when they are ready.
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THREEBOYS040609
3/7/06 5:23 P
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| I want to start potty training my son in 3 more months, so that would make him a year and a half, is that a good age to start?
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| Hi, lelu! Wondered where you'd been lately! As for new potty training ideas...I'm all out. Is there a school we can send them to for that?? lol I hate potty training. When I first found out I was pregnant my first thought was, 'Oh, no! Potty training again!'. Good luck with your 4 yr old. If I find any new ideas I'll let you know. Pass on any you find, too! Nicholas has had a good potty day so far today. Tomorrow..who knows.
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Hey mom2six! How are you?
I'm still strugleing with my 4yr old. He knows exactly what to do and does it when he wants to. But those are far and few between. I have tried everything to motivate him. Plus everything I've read here. Anybody have anything new? I'm despret!
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| My twin boys just turned 3. One is nearly completely trained, the other 'has better things to do'. He is always into things so he doesn't want to stop to go potty. I have had some luck using 'prizes' for him when he goes to the potty. I'll give him a Hershey kiss for each successful trip. It seems to motivate him! The M&M's worked for my daughter, too. I have had a couple of kids who were easily trained, others who were not. Including one daughter that had a medical problem and actually needed surgery. (She's now 15 and still has incontinence problems.) I think you just have to wait until they are ready but to keep (gently!) encouraging them. Maybe she could choose her own underwear at the store? I know my boys love their Nemo ones! Also, I let mine go to the potty when I go. It seems to help, though I know that probably isn't for everyone! Good luck! As someone once told me when I was complaining about potty training, "This too shall pass".
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| that is so true,motivation is the key most times. thats what take for all of us not just our children, i understand what your saying about public bathrooms, i carry anti-bactrial stuff with me to use on my sons hands as well as my own. ya never know what they are going to get into.
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Also, now that my daughter is fully trained, when we go into a public restroom together she makes me turn around so that I give her privacy, too. I refused to leave the stall/room and stood my ground telling her that it wasn't safe. You just don't know what they'll touch while left alone. Ugh! I've given her mini m&ms (2/peepee & 5/poopy) and I've also given her a quarter for each time she poopied in the beginning. The quarter went towards a ride in the mall. : ) I've found that if you can find what motivates them, that is also the key! : )
Paula
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I have a VERY strong-willed 3 1/2 yr-old that goes beyond the normal terrible threes. I introduced her potty chair at 17mo without any pressures and she wouldn't even sit on it. She would actually kick and scream. Still I left it in her bathroom and during the day I would catch her letting bunny, teddy or baby doll go potty. I kept telling her that big girls use the potty and never once told her that she was a baby because she was still in diapers. It really is a hard time for the little ones. She began going to school when she was 2 (K2). They changed her diaper and also encouraged going to the potty. It wasn't until she was 3 that she started showing signs of being ready, because she would peepee on the potty, but would only poopy in her pull-up in a special hiding place. She got so angry one day when she had tried to go poopy on the potty with me reading a story and nothing happened. She went into a full blown-out tantrum. I told her to stomp her feet and say, "It's hard!!" She did it with tears in her eyes. I cuddled her then and told her that it was OK. Poopy is hard and that I was proud of her for trying. That was a breakthrough for us. I think she realized that I sympathized with her. Eventhough I wasn't pushing her, she needed to know that I understood and didn't expect perfection. She later up and decided at almost 3 1/2 over Christmas that diapers were a thing of the past! Getting her to potty before naps and bedtime brought on more kicking and screaming. I just backed off and told her that she was a big girl and knew when she needed to go. After about two weeks of accidents and me not pushing again, she has been accident free for 2 mo.
My advice would be not to pressure (don't show them how much it means to you) and be sympathetic (let them know it's hard and that accidents are OK). Those things are what truly worked for me with a strong-willed child. : )
Paula
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| She sounds like she is not ready I would not force it on her because she can make it alot rougher on you.
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I'm getting a hint at how tough it is - mine's going to be 2 in June. She could care LESS about dirty diapers, the potty, etc. She just doesn't care! I talk to her about the potty and what to do and when she's a big girl she will, etc. But she just doesn't care at all.
sigh.
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| You are not kidding I believe some just don't know how hard it is.
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you are very welcome. i hope that it works for you.
im happy to help when ever i can. i know i take all the help i can get at times.
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| Lauraann I will try that thanks for the advice.
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My girlfreinds 3 1/2 year old, will go and get the pull up himself, change into it, then poop. He pees just fine on the potty, but will not poop. She has now bribed him with a toy, and so far I think it's been a week, and still nothing.
Mine will be 2 in April and has pooped in the potty for at least 2 months. But his new thing, is now he doesn't want me to help him, only daddy. OR if daddy is not around, I have to shut the door. Can't leave it open a crack, he will get off, shut the door all the way, and get back on. HAHA. He's getting too big!!!!! BUT I can't complain too much, since he only has an occasional accident that I hope it lasts when I have this second one in July.
Beckie
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| i had the same issue. my son would pee but wouldnt poop in the potty. i did the same thing tried the book thing. Then one day he saw something on tv that he wanted. so i made a deal with him. he started doing both in the potty and wore his big boy pants and i would get it for him. so for a couple of weeks i just kept encouraging him and reminding him what he wanted. and soon he was doing it. maybe that will work for you. and when he does poop i have to be outside the bathroom not in it with him. thats when he started pooping, when i would stand outside the bathroom. good luck
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| Well my son is two and he will pee in the potty but he will not poop in the potty but when he has to poop he tells me he needs a diaper on which is the only kid that I know will do that thank goodness he does I am hoping by summer he will be completely potty trained any advice how I can get him to poop in the potty. I have tried giving him a book and sitting with him and standing with my back turned. He only did it once but that is becaused I paid him I know that is bad but I have tried everything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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BUFFEDSTUFF
2/24/06 1:07 A
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| My kids were potty trained when they wanted to be. One did it at 18 months and the other at 3.
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| well i find that if i dont put pants on her she will definately take her diaper off and just "go freely". im just not going to push the hole potty thing especially since we have a new baby
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BASHIOUMW
I had a similiar experience. My daughter was 8 or 9 months old with severe diaper rash. Someone said to let her go nudie for a while to help heal. I laid her in the crib for a nap. Well, she went all over the crib, wiped the walls, crib, sheets, bumper pad, her entire body. She was screaming when I went in. No wonder. I just put her in the tub. I called my husband all freaked out. Once she was clean, I got her room clean. I love learning from her.
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| apparently most kids domit. but that doesnt make it any less gross!
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Bashioumw,
I've been there done that! Not fun!
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MOMOFTWOXX
2/16/06 1:44 P
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| Potty training was a nightmere with my youngest, I hated it. She was so stubborn with it and used it against me when she was mad, kids!
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| heres my new nightmare, my 23 month old was alone in her room with a daiper on and apparently pooped. When i cam ein her room it was all over her, the door and the carpet. Horrifying but ofcourse i had to throw her in the bath and scrub a lot. I thought about taking a pic just so my husband could see what i have to do all day
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MDULZER:
Hi! Be careful with apples and bananas. They can constipate your little one. They are natures answer to diarrhea. Kaopectate is made from pectin which is found in apples. The reason I know this is because my daughter had trouble having regular bm's when she was little. Try to limit the apples and apple juice and bananas and I bet that will help the problem. Also try to lower the daily dairy intake....especially cheese. Blessings!
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| I haven't encouraged or discouraged my daughter. Yesterday I sat her on her chair so she isn't afraid of sitting on it. She gets very constipated, so I was wondering if going on the chair would make it easier for her? She eats a high fiber diet and drinks juice. She had challenges earlier so I believe she holds it in, which is really bad and painful.
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JENSEMINARA
2/13/06 2:11 P
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| I know it seems hard right now but my suggestion to you would be to lay off her for a while. She is not ready and no amount of pushing will make her ready. Every child is differnt. They do it when they are ready and it sounds like it has become a battle ground for you and this is one area you dont want that. My son was almost 4 when he was fully potty trained. They do it when they are ready and if you take her lead when she is ready then it will be much better for the both of you. But I do know it is very frustrating. I do feel for you.
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| My daughter wasn't potty trained until she was 3. We tried and tried, but it just wouldn't happen until she was ready. Be patient - it will happen.
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| Thanks so much. I have heard that when a child is trained too young, it is actually the parents who are trained. I don't mind her wearing diapers. It isn't like she forgets to go and has accidents in her pants. I appreciate the support. Good luck with your potty training.
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My thoughts on this are the longer you leave training the more successful you will be - unless say the child decides at 2 or 2 and a half they want to go ahead and use the potty/toilet.
I had worked with a lot of children and found 2 and a half a good age to start. Look for certain signs like asking for nappy to be changed (the awareness they need to go toilet is a must!)ability to pull down trousers/pants by themselves. There is lots of good literature out on this.
Girls generally are quicker than boys to train and also those with older siblings tend to train quicker too.
My son is 3 in April and has only just shown an interest in wanting to sit on a toilet seat, an earlier approach and he wasn't ready.
It can feel very difficult at times when you are out with a nearly 3 yr old and people question WHY he is not trained. Not because I am embarrassed but rather it is upsetting that other parents choose to brag about their children who are trained and openly
pass judgement on my son who does have ears that work!
All the best.
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| My daughter is almost 17 months old. When is the best age to try? My sister-in-law didn't work with her kids until they were 3 and over.
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| I'm excited to try the fruit loop trick. I have a 4 yr old who knows what to do, He is just lazy. Hopefully it will work. I'm also starting to train my 18 month old. The Doc told me this is a good age cause they love to mimick you. I hope so! I was hoping that if the 18 mon old did it then the 4 yr old would too. We'll see!
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| I am going to give your strategy a try. Thank you for the advice.
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Potty training boys is EASY! Just buy some Froot Loops and throw a few of them into the potty and tell your son to hit the targets. I have potty trained 6 boys like this and they all loved it and didn't have accidents. When they go poop still put the round cereal in the potty and tell them to see if they can "sink the targets." It works for girls too, they just have to "sink the targets" each time.
Be careful with girls though they have a tendency to get off they potty while still going to see if they have sank anything and with boys you'd better not take their attention off of the "targets" or you'll likely end up soaked! Another good one for girls is to let their baby doll that drinks and wets, potty too. Potty training is easy BUT you have to KNOW that your child is ready. If they bring you a diaper and wipes then they are ready to train whether they throw a fit or not. The fits they throw are their way of showing you who is really in control and when you give in to their tantrums they've PROVEN it. Good Luck. 
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| I know that it can be fustrating, but it will happen. i had the same problems that you all are having, my son is 3 he will be 4 in oct. and up until a month to 3 weeks ago he was still wearing pullups(well he still wears them at night still night training). i knew that he could go and use the bathroom, cause he would do it at church and if he was at my moms house. so my husband and i looked at him and put a pair of underwear on him and told him that was it, no more pull ups and that he had to use the potty. and so he has been ever since. i dont know why that work when rewards and such stuff didnt but im not going to complain it did and now we are onto night training. my only real issue with him is his binky, i had him about broke of it one time and my husbands mother gave it back to him and now im having a trouble time getting him broke, not to memtion that my husband gives it to him the min. he starts crying and wining for it cause he doesnt want to deal with it any suggestions would be great
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LOVEMY4KIDS
2/8/06 9:44 A
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All 3 of my boys trained late (after 3) and it was a struggle the entire time. I found that the more I pushed, the more they resisted.
What finally worked for us was:
We would forge ahead with underwear for a few days. If they were still resisting, we would take a break for a few weeks and come back to it again.
It reduced the amount of stress on us both. I also had to remind myself that they WILL get it eventually! LOL!
Good luck, I am in the beginning stages of potty training my Daughter now.
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I'm at a loss myself. My son is three and a half and won't go. The only time he goes to childcare is at church, and they assign them rooms based on age, and he appears to be the only one not trained at that age. It is so frustrating because I know he knows how. We went to pick him up last Sunday after the service and they said, "just a minute, he's in the bathroom." My husband and I just looked at each other like, "What did she say?" Sure enough he came out buttoning his little britches like it was nothing.
When we came home it was right back to "Mommy, I need a dipey." Argh!!!!!
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My daughter will be entering kindergarten next september and is still not potty trained. I am very stressed about this but the doctors say not to worry. She is about 3 years physically and mentally but I am lost at what else to try! Do any of you have any good ideas you can share?
Lisa
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HEALTHYLISA
2/7/06 3:20 P
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My daughter potty trained around 3 years old. We read stories on the potty to get her comfortable sitting there. Then if she went potty we danced and sang songs. We even trained her teddy bear to go potty and she would go through same songs and dancing when teddy went pee pee. (I had water in a cup for Teddy). Now she has been using potty 1 1/2 years with no accidents. I think she had 1 nighttime accident and that is it. Her brother is 2 1/2 and she is enjoying telling him stories while he sits and we dance and sing if he goes. He is still in diapers but we are getting him more comfortable and she is enjoying encouraging him to be a BIG BOY !
Just keep it positive, reward with praise or whatever you feel is right and they will potty train.
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I am trying to train my son, who is almost two. I know that it is emotionally early to train him, but he is already over 3 feet tall. According to his pediatrician, he is ready. So we're working on it. He loves to sit on the potty for a few minutes, put the training pant back on, & then poop.
I keep hoping that he will make the connection at some point. But I know that it is early, so I'm really not pushing the issue.
I do detest training pant, however. They are like really bad diapers. They feel like a diaper to him, so he uses them like a diaper. But they are not absorbent enough to hold very much at all.
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MARYLAMKEN
2/7/06 12:29 P
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| Ahh yes. When my second oldest was 3, I KNEW she knew what potty was all about, she just refused to go. To me, if the child KNOWS, then it's time to use the toilet. I warned my dd when I noticed she was going off to hide to poop that if she didn't use the potty she would be changing herself. I explained to her that if she knew enough to hide, she could use the potty chair or the toilet. I was no longer going to be changing dirty diapers because she KNEW. I was very calm. It took twice of her having to change herself. (And yes, it caused some extra mess and cleaning for me - but it was worth it in the end)
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I'm in the process of training 4 right now (home daycare). The 17 month old has very few accidents. One 2 year old goes to the bathroom on his own here but won't for mom. My second 2 year old, Mom wants trained immediately but the little one really isn't ready on her own sometimes I can catch her in time then we party. The 4 1/2 year old has no interest at all except school says to work hard with him. He kicks and screams for mom but will at least go into the bathroom for me.
Each child is at their own pace. The hard part for me is when I have 4 naked little butts lined up for the bathroon at the same time just because the other ones want to go. Gotta love them.
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| I let my guys run around the house naked (of course this was spring/summer). They also got rewarded with M&Ms anytime they actually used the potty. Good luck!!
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VALKYRIE0515
2/6/06 8:30 A
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Thanks so much for all your excellent advice and words..i was really starting to feel like she was the only 3 year old in diapers..Especially after asking people you know and they act surprized that she's still in diapers..:)..
I don't feel so alone anymore..
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SEIZETHEDAY
2/5/06 11:32 P
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Sounds to me like you are in the middle of a control issue (that's what 3 year olds are all about). Maybe you could give her a choice. She can choose the diaper or the panties, BUT, she has to put on whatever she chooses. Show her how to put on her diaper. She might like the independence.
OR....
You could tell her she can have the diaper but has to wear the panties for 15 min., first. Don't trick her. Set a timer and after 15 min., give her a choice to change out of the panties. You could increase the time gradually.
I'd tell her about the new program (whatever it is you are going to do) when it is NOT an issue. Then she'll know what's coming. She'll scream, but if you give in, you are just teaching her that screaming is how you get what you want. Be careful what you are really teaching her. You have a lot of years left!
Day-Seizer
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| My son took forever to potty train and then even longer to wipe himself. We finally had to threaten him that he could not go to school if he didn't start wiping. At the age of 5, we are still having to check him after each wipe. So, I guess some kids are much slower. We also still have occasional night time accidents. I too had to use the reward system for potty training. We did stickers and after so many stickers then a trip to the dollar store for a toy. For the big job, I had to sit in the bathroom with him and read him books so he'd stay sitting there long enough. We started all this at the age of 3 and finally there's no rewards or me reading at the age of 5. Although the child now reads to himself in the bathroom with a stack of books and can stay in there for an hour at a time. Ha! Good luck to you. I also have a 13 & 16 year old so I tell you, this time too shall come to pass and they grow up quickly! My pediatrician told me when I was concerned not to worry, he never met an unpotty trained college student! Smile:)
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MAMA2BEAUTIES
2/4/06 3:22 P
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| My oldest daughter REFUSED to potty train until she was 2months shy of being 4y/o. She went and stayed w/ my aunt and she offered to buy her "big girl underware" if she didn't have an accident and over night, shes done great ever since. I'm going through the same thing w/ my youngest now (she's 2 1/2y/o). Its only a matter of time though (I hope). I've decided that sometimes it works better when "outsiders" help out.
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TROISMOMMY
2/4/06 12:50 P
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Potty training is SO not fun! LOL My son had no interest until after he was 3, and even then we had several stops and starts. We used a reward system of chocolates right away, then stickers on a chart. When he got so many stickers, he got a special prize. With him, he loved Thomas trains, so I bought several cheap Thomas books and then trains for bigger prizes.
With my daughter, she's 2.5. She's doing awesome now, but just 2 months ago would SCREAM at the mention of the potty, or underpants.
Good luck!
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| I used a reward system with all of my children. When they actually "went" in the potty they got a toy out of the grab bag. I just went to the dollar stores and got little cheap things, but to a kid it is like gold. Not too long after I started that they were really making progress. Good Luck, and don't lose hope!
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| My first son was potty trained very easily although he was 2 at the time. I just decided one day I was tired of changing diapers and put underwear on him. He had one or two accidents during the day but that was it. Now my little one is different. He turned 2 in Nov. and he will tell my he has to go potty and will ever go to the bathroom door but when I put him on the potty he freaks out and will not go until I put his diaper back on. He will bring me a diaper and the wipes when he needs to be changed so I would think he would want to not have on a diaper but I don't know. It's quite frustrating but I don't push him. I guess he will go when he is ready. He also does like wearing his underwear. The problem is he only likes to wear them over his diaper. I have read alot of good things about the peter potty urinal for boys and have considered buying one. They cost $40 and I don't really want to spend that on one(I have a little potty chair already) if they aren't any good. Has anyone with boys tried one of these and are they worth it?
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MYSPECIALKS
2/4/06 10:57 A
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| My oldest didn't train till well over 3 ...and had "accidents" into age 8. My youngest trained a few months before her 3rd birthday & one day just sat on the pottyy & that was it- never a diaper again...they are all just so so so different- I say let it ride a month or so- she is clearly not ready for it..don't worry she wont be wearing a diaper(Pappy as my little one called it) on her way down the aisle to get married!
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my first daughter was trained at 20 months and night time trained my 3 with no accidents.
My 2nd child turned 2 yesterday. I started to train her but she will hide and pee then she will bring me a diaper. So I may have to work harder with her.
Good luck she will evenly get it. In her own time.
TRacy
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| i have to agree. my 3 year old just got potty trained for the most part (he still wears pull ups at night when he goes bed). the child wont do it until they get ready. he had little interest in doing it. i never pushed him. but i incouraged. he turned 3 last oct. and on the days i was off from work (i now am a stay home mom) i would have pull ups on him and take him to the bathroom every 30 to 45 min and let him sit on the potty. if he went fine if not that was fine to. eventually he wanted him big boy pants with bob the builder on them and he has wore his underwear ever since with no problems so hang in there she get it sooner or later dont lose hope or get fustrated.
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| The only advice I can give you is to not push the issue. My youngest (daughter) was just over 18 months when she was potty trained. My middle son was difficult (b/c I was trying too hard) and at 3 1/2 declared on his own he was ready and NEVER had an accident. My youngest is now 3 1/2 and still has NO interest. He could care less. I'm not pushing it, but it is getting old (the diaper changing part). Each child is different, but each will do it when they are ready.
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VALKYRIE0515
2/4/06 9:04 A
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Good morning everyone,
I was wondering if anyone else is going through or been through a child who just doesn't want to be potty trained..I'm not sure weather to force her or leave her be..
Heather just turned 3 in Jan and anytime i try to put underwear on her she screams and crys and kicks..Than she just take them off and will cry dramatically for 30 minutes (that's as long as I've lasted so far) until she gets her "diapy" back..
Any advice would be greatly appreciated..My oldest (7) was trained by 2.5 and there was not a cry or problem she wanted to do it..
Tracy
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