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PAPERKEEPSAKES
6/12/06 9:00 P
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Oh I thought of another line my son used to use
anytime he started saying anything he would say:
Well Actually Mom.........
I guess you had to be there but he was only 4? He said it with everything!
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PAPERKEEPSAKES
6/12/06 8:56 P
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Ok I do daycare and have an 8 years so I should have a lot but can only think of one right now.
I had this cute little 3 year old and in the summer we were by the swimming pond and she was telling me about her mommy and daddy....well then unfortuanelly for a sec I tuned her out until she said and you know my daddy has a big @uck! I was like what? she said.. you know my daddys big black @&uck oh my the other kids were trying not to laugh and I realized She was talking about her father big black Ram pickup truck. I worked on her T's after that!
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BRANDILUNSFORD
5/31/06 4:06 A
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my daughter is only 9 months so she has started all of this good stuff yet, but i have a good one.
me and my brother were 7 years apart so i remember his childhood very well. As a typical 2 year oldboy he loved mowing the yard well siting in a wagon that my dad use to hook up to the lawn mower (i know not very safe) We were in the middle of church. The preacher had just end the service in prayer and JT jumps up and yells "MOMMY CAN WE GO HOME AND MOW THE A$$" Trying to say grass. Everyone stopped what ther were doing instantly looking at my parents like they were evil
BUT I FOUND IT FUNNY I AM SURE MADISON (my daugher)WILL DO THE SAME TO ME SOMEDAY
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Here one
Whenever I have a chance I make it my habit to have the family sit down for dinner and we pray prior to eating, well my 3 y/o decided he wanted to say grace and mind you the always say the age old "God is good God is grace" pray, so he started off on the right foot and right after God is grace he began to recite the pledge of allegiance and when he was done he said AMEN!
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JOTRKMOMMY
5/23/06 2:22 P
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| I always call my daughter "wookie." I have no idea why, but it just got in my head one day and now that is her nickname with mommy. So now she is starting to call people "wookie," and yesterday morning, as she was cuddling with her dad in the bed, she said, "Hi, wookie-daddy!" and she gave him a huge hug and kiss. We couldn't stop laughing.
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TJELLIOTT
5/22/06 10:10 P
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| My son loved to make up words and still does. He's six. He has always used lasterday for any day before yesterday.
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OFF-THE-WALL
5/20/06 8:40 A
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I just found this thread, how hilarious!! I have a book of all my kids"funnies" I just love em. Here is one from my 3 yr. old daughter: She was on the potty and I heard a thump then she said "OH GREAT" I go in there and she said I dropped the toliet paper in the trash can. I said well that's okay. Then later on that evening when my husband got home after dinner and all she goes in the potty again all of a sudden she yells "daddy I dropped the toilet paper in the trash AGAIN!"
I have so many so I won't over load you guys (JUST YET!) but here is one from my son when he was little: I was taking an asprin for a headache and he says "whatcha doing" I said mom has a headache and this is medicine to make it feel better. And he goes "is it gonna get in your brain?"
I have more anothEr day!
STAY STRONG everyone
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My sons like to go to the park and walk with me. It isn't finished yet but the walking track has been dozed, so we have started using it.
My youngest likes to follow me and find animal tracks. He finds mostly deer but sometimes dog or other animals.
I can see the play area the whole time so when he tires he can ride his bike or play on the swings or in the fort.
Sometimes older boys up to no good come down and try to tear things up or bother the cars, turned the port a potty over once or I get leary of non regulars.
I told him when the bigger boys came that he would have to stay with me and when someone new came if they made him feel uneasy or was afraid to run to me.
LOL, I was on my last round, usually on my way past I would holler at him and ask if he was ok or tell him that I was just checking on him. I recognized the van that had parked and wasn't concerned.
As I came around to the play area, he beat me to it and hollered MOM! They aren't doing anything to me! 
I called him over and told him thanks but he really didn't need to holler it out where everyone could hear it. : )
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LIZABAKER
5/19/06 11:26 A
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| Okay, Sassybrat - I think you win! Those were truly the funniest.... I'm still laughing 10 minutes later, just had to come back and tell you you made my morning.
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SASSYBRAT
5/18/06 10:46 P
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my husband works on computers for our county. we constantly have police sgts county commisioners etc. calling our home because some system needs something.
when my son was 3 (he's 6 now) we were sitting down to dinner and the phone rang..my husband was walking back and forth listening on the phone..when he hung up he said that was commissioner so and so and i have to go down to the hall of justice (what they call the police dept in our town) to help him with something..he walked out the door..my son was sitting at the table with his spoon half way to his mouth and his eyes as big as saucers..he looked at me and said "mom? is my dad batman?" i said "yes! but you can't tell ANYONE!" i had to walk out of the room and bust up. he believed his dad was batman for about a year lol
when he was 2 and a half i was out in the yard pulling weeds...he was outside with me and the phone rang..his little legs were faster so he got the phone..just as i came up on the porch i heard him say "mommy's doing weed" OMG! i imagined the police dpt on the other end i grabbed the phone and said hello????? and my mother was on the other end laughing her head off ...whew!!!! hehe
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| I just wanted to share a funny story. My 4 yr old son is always saying things that make us chuckle. I have had to bite my lip many times because I am supposed to be angry at him and he is making me laugh. The other day he wiped his mouth with his shirt after eating oatmeal. I told him to use a napkin and that I was tired of constantly telling him to stop wiping his mouth and hands on his shirt. So, later he was looking down at his shirt and I looked and saw oatmeal all over it. So, I said in a bit of a loud voice, "WHAT IS ON YOUR SHIRT?" He said, " I realllly don't want to tell you" and then he walked away. lol
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BILLYS_SILLY
5/17/06 1:34 P
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 That is so funny. I just imagine that arc....lol
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| This just happened on Sunday, my 1 yr old son needed a diaper change on our trip home from Chicago and the gas station had a horrible bathroom so my husband decided to change our boys diaper in the front seat of the car...well, I came from around the back of the car just in time to see a perfect little arc of pee coming out of the passenger door. Wow he has distance!! My husband and I laughed for the longest time after that. And, luckily we didn't have any pee on the seat!
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LISTNWTHURHEART
5/17/06 11:59 A
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| I had a moment with my 11 year old son in the car the other day. I have lost a total of 36 lbs since starting spark people and the other day my son says to me... "Mom, I can really tell your loosing weight." I ask... "Yeah?" and he replies (while adjusting his hands out then in) with... "Yeah, your tummy used to be this far from the steering wheel, now its only this far!" As embarassing as being overweight can be, I had to share this with everyone,I had a great laugh.
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LIZABAKER
5/17/06 11:36 A
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| Oh yeah, we had a similar horrible experience at the dentist's office. My baby chipped a tooth and they tried to straightjacket him - he actually wriggled his way out! So yesterday we went the "easy" route and had him sedated for getting his cavities filled - OMG, I will NEVER do that again - he recovered his coordination at 4 p.m. after an 8:30 a.m. appt. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen.
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/16/06 2:27 A
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LOL I Know Liza,
I would never think of blowing into the mouth though. I am not sure if my children would even allow that. I was just thankful it had dissolved by the time we had seen the doctor.
The next time he stuffed bread up his nose and wasn't so lucky. Ofcourse in something moist the bread expands and there was no way I could get it out by making him blow his nose. Off to the doctors we went again and they had him wrapped in a huge blanket and I had to basically lay on top of him and me being 200 lbs at the time You would think I could hold him down. He screamed and kicked so hard he litterally would lift me off the table. The doctor came and removed the bread with this huge tong sort of looking thing.. not a pleasant experience to say the least.
Funny now and he loves hearing those stories..over and over and over and over again lol
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SABRINAJL
5/15/06 10:39 P
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When DD was 8 she came home from school asking me what a sperm bank was. I figured this was as good a time as any so I gave her the basic rundown about sex. She, of course, responds with the appropriate amount of horror and retching sounds.
Then the conversation takes an amusing turn.
DD: "Wait. How do you know this?"
ME: "Well, you were conceived the same way ALL babies are conceived."
DD: "EWWWWWW!! You and dad DID that?!?!?!"
ME: "Yeah, and I hate to break it to you, but we still do."
She was utterly horrified and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.
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| Yuck - something I learned from my paramedic brother, for future reference: stop up the clear nostril, cover the child's mouth with yours and BLOW HARD! Good for removing small objects that aren't too badly stuck....
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/15/06 1:17 P
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Yikes Scary stuff!! Glad he's doing ok and didn't get hurt more!
My son when i was potty training him I would treat him with mini gobstoppers. Well he decided he was going to play with it. He stuffed it up his nose and I couldn't get it out so didn't know what to do. I brought him to the emergency room and by the time we had seen the doctor it must have dissolved from his runny nose and cold. LOL
After I should have known it wouldn't be a big deal but at times you don't think when you think your child could get hurt in someway or another!
That wasn't the only time he stuck something up his nose but I will save that for another day!!
I love hearing all the stories.. Keep em coming!!!
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This wasn't funny when it happened but we laugh about it now.
Our 11 yr old son was riding his bike. Not thinking, he went to the top of the hill, and thought that he would see how fast that he could come off of it. As he was coming down he couldn't get stopped. So, he thought that he would hit a railroad tie so that he could get stopped.
When he hit the railroad tie the bike threw him about 20 ft on his back and the bike landed about 50 ft away. Luckily, he had my cell phone and called me, he thought that he was hurt bad. He told me where he was and when I first went out to find him I didn't see him. I called his name and found him over the bank.
We took him to the dr and he had sprained his ankle. The dr just about died laughing when he told him what happened.
He didn't ride his bike for awhile and now he doesn't go to the top of the hill to see how fast he can come off of it.
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BILLYS_SILLY
5/14/06 11:41 P
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Happy Mother's Day
--Answers from 2nd graders
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say No to drugs and Yes to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be the boss, but she has to, because dad's such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power, because that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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| I love the words kids make up! My daughter said "pretember" for pretend for the longest time....
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/14/06 3:56 P
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| One time I was meeting a friend of mine that I had chatted to for sometime and we went for coffee during the coffee my daughter (aged 3) started to poke my chest. I pushed her hand away and asked what she was doing... She looked at me seriously and said "I just want to touch your boobies" ... I was sooo humiliated and the friend just burst out laughing and still bugs me to this day.
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Holly~
That's so funny to me because I have always hated to be stuck at a green light behind someone who doesn't notice and go. So I am sitting behind them shouting, "Go! Go!"
Now even if the light isn't green ... When we stop, if I am not shouting ... my little one is!
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LHOLLYBERRY
5/5/06 11:18 A
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| Talking about road rage reminded me of a funny story with my daughter, who was 6 at the time. We were nearly at her elementary school, and we were cutting it close that day to get her there on time. As you are well aware, I am sure, it gets chaotic, traffic laws go out the window because everyone wants THEIR child there on time and forget about the rest of the parents. An expensive SUV pulled out in front of me and I had to hit the brakes fairly hard. Oh, I was stressing! My precious Kellie looked at me with all the innocence of youth and big, beautiful eyes and said, "Mommy, that's Kaitlyn's mommy. Is she an a**hole too?" Oh, I wanted to die, trying to not laugh, but it really relieved the stress of the moment. I had worked so hard to not say THOSE WORDS in front of her, but apparently she heard it somewhere.
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/4/06 2:41 P
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I loved reading all the stories!! kids are so cute.
One of my many stories are:
My oldest son was a fearless child. One year we were building a garage and My husband and I were on the roof while my brother in law was on the ground handing us sheets. My son who was 3 at the time decided he was going to help us. (Not letting us know he was going to help) We had a Ladder but because my husband built it you had to have long legs to climb it properly..well to make a long story short we heard him yelling for help and when we realized where he was all we saw was him hanging onto the rafters and couldn't get onto the roof.. It wasn't funny. He loves to hear the story and laughs everytime.
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my son, who is 11 months, recently discovered how to push any buttons in sight. Just the other day i was on the computer, trying to finish a paper for school, and just as i was about to click on SAVE, my darling son crawls to the computer, and pushes on the power button, turning the computer off. I spent the rest of the night retyping my paper.
and another story that i was humiliated by..
I was at my boss's home for dinner one night and i brought my son with me. As we were saying goodbye, my boss leaned in to say goodbye to my son, and i told him to wave goodbye, instead, he placed each one of his hands on my boss's breats. i assured her that he never did things like that, and she just laughed. i guess they start young dont they!
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We live on a small farm with lots of animals. My 7 yr old (then 5) saw some day old baby chicks and wanted to hold one desperately.
I told him that he couldn't that their momma would get upset and attack him.
He didn't believe me and caught one. As soon as he caught it, it began to call momma.
Momma flared her wings and started racing toward him,
bawling him out the whole way.
As soon as he saw her, he dropped the chick and ran for dear life.
ROFLM*O, to this day he won't pick up a baby chick unless I tell him it's ok.
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BLESSEDMAMAOF2
4/19/06 12:21 P
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| When my son was 2, we went to Pizza Hut with a couple of friends. The waitress came around for our drink orders and when he was asked what he wanted to drink he said Dr. Pecker ( meaning Dr. Pepper)Everyone got a good kick out of it but he couldn't figure out what he did to make everyone laugh. It took me a couple of months to finally get him to pronounce it correctly.
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Ok, these are great!!!
I have a couple too.
My son is almost 2 and my husband was in the living room and used the Sh!# word and my son was eating at the table and after a short pause he said "daddy, poopy" I have NO idea where he knew that. But we had a good laugh.
The other one, most men blame the kids when they pass gas. So Jared passed gas one day and said "daddy" after he did it. HAHA
Funny mispronounced words he uses:
"Bips" = Lips
"Balk" = Walk This one took a while to figure out, but after he brought me my shoes it sunk in.
"Bared do it" (he even rolls the "R") = Jared do it
"Paypub" = Caleb (his cousin)
Beckie
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| My daughter (19 months) recently started walking with a very defined hip swing. We have no idea why, but it is a riot to watch those baby hips swing. :)
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Vowelmom you've reminded me of our son. He was the opposite, peanuts came out as penis (to my horror!)
He used to get offered nuts in the shells from the staff in a bar we used to go to (it's great living somewhere warm all year around where we can sit outside!)
The most embarrassing time with the word was being stuck in a taxi and he announced, "Mummy want penis" (we had a few stashed in the bag on our way home.)and you know how kids repeat things over and over, even when you repeat with the corrected word.
Only God knows what the driver must have thought!
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LOSINGINHIM
3/23/06 10:43 P
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| My son was 4 when we found out that we were going to have another baby. The due date was about 2 weeks after my son's birthday, so I told him he might be getting a baby brother or sister for his birthday. He looked at me with the most serious look on his face and said, "But Mama, I want a Ninja Turtle!" Well, he got both...luckily he liked the brother better!
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FUBARAND49
3/23/06 5:08 A
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| I suspect we ALL have to confess to some gegree of road rage at one time or another.........I wonder on a regular basis how some people managed to get their liscence
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These are so fun to read!
I have a couple...
My son was probably 2 at the time. He knows he has a penis, he pronounced it peanut though. At the time.
My husband keeps a shadow-y looking beard. One day my husband is getting ready to trim his beard. My son asks him what he has in his hands. He's in the bathroom mind you.
He says "its my peanut shaver". My son's eyes grow as big as saucers and he runs out of the room, terrified.
Peanut shaver is just the name on the shaver my husband had at the time.
It was hilarious!
The second story also involves my husband.
He was taking my daughter to dance class when she was 3. He was irritated with a driver in front of him, and he called the driver a jack-a$%. After they got to her dance class, my daughter turned and looked at her dad and said, "daddy, what were you saying to that Jack-Man?" it was funny. Glad she didnt hear what he really said. He has remembered to be careful!
Ok, I have to fess up and add one more that involves me and driving as well. It wouldnt be fair!
its short and sweet, but I get teased all the time for it.
My son was driving cars on the floor, and he says out of the corner of his mouth. "get outta my way Mister!" There's a certain way you have to say it, and I cant explain that on here, so use your imagination!
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BILLYS_SILLY
3/22/06 4:58 P
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BRRRRRR
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FUBARAND49
3/22/06 4:38 P
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I recently found out why, between ages 5and 9 my daughter - nearly 12 now would insist on almost cold baths....
her brother, two years her senior had talked to her about sharks and how they were always found in warm water!!! Apparently when she asked about the bath water he had told her they especially loved baths.....
For years i had to put het into a bath i could barely keep my hands in and slowly warm it up by tricking in the hot water (telling her it was stuck...) she was so scared of a shark appearing....even she cant figure out how she thought it was going to get through the taps????
her older brother is still a wind-up merchant!
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BILLYS_SILLY
3/22/06 10:27 A
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I got this e-mail today, and I thought it would be approprate to post here....Enjoy
The Way Children See Things!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary , 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her father donning a tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
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| One day me and my 5 year old niece was taking a walk and talking about what she wanted to do when she grew up. After she named off several things, she told me she might just have alot of babies if she don't get to a doctor quick enough to have something tied up.
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IAMYOURNURSE
2/20/06 8:29 P
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| My eldest now 11, when she learned to talk, used to call me maud and her father daum. She combined mom and dad together and still to this day calls us this when she is in a funny mood.
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| When my son was about two and a half years old I taught him about God and all the things he had made. So I asked him who made the flowers and he said God, I asked who made the stars and he said God,I asked who made the moon and he kept quiet for a long time so I asked him again.He did not aswer so I asked him if he didn't know.He looked at me and said "My daddy put it there with the crane". My husband was a mobile crane driver at the time.I suppose he loved he dad very much and God could not have made everything,his dad must have made something.My son is 33years old now.
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ERINPATRICIA
2/15/06 7:25 P
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| My niece had just turned four and my husband and I had just gotten married, so had her parents. We were going to Disneyland for her birthday. She couldn't wait to meet Mickey Mouse. She met all the Princess's and all the other characters, but after three days we still hadn't seen Mickey. Finally we saw him going back into the back area. We called out to him and quickly explained to him that she hadn't seen him in three days and she just wanted to meet him. He got down on one knee. She got the most serious look in her eyes and asked him, You've been going to Minnies house for a long time, how come you don't just get married. You can use my mommy's diamond ring. Shes married now, she has a gold one thats more important. For four years old she was way too mature.
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RAINCLOUDS
2/15/06 3:28 P
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Background: My father in law is a good christian man, but sometimes road rage gets the best of him too, and he'll call another driver a gintaloon, or a putz....
When my son was three years old we were leaving an office building, as we were walking out, a priest was walking in. He held the door open for us, and I said thank you. I told my son to say thank you to the nice man, so he said to the priest in this sweet, well meaning little voice.."Thanks Putz."
I'm not sure if the priest heard him or not...but to this very day, the story of my son calling a priest a putz, is a classic! FYI: We have since taught him not to call people that name!
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BILLYS_SILLY
2/15/06 3:11 P
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awwwww!! 
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Around Christmas time my son and I were playing on the floor and I looked at him and said "I love you more than chocolate." I say this to him all the time...he knows how much I love chocolate. Well, this time he looks at me and says "And I love you more than Christmas."
Not necessarily "funny" but it certainly brought a tear to my eye.
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RUNNINGMAMMA
2/14/06 1:24 P
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My husband and I didn't get married until our son was 4 months old. He is now 7 and he knows this because he has seen himself in the wedding pictures.
Last week we were talking about something and I don't remember how it came about, but he said "Yeah, mom,I didn't have a daddy when I was born." I said yes you did, you have always had a daddy. He persisted with arguing that he didn't have a daddy until we got married.
Eventually, I got him straightened out, but wow he was hard to convince!
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STRESSEDMOMMY
2/12/06 8:17 P
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| Last summer DH and I decided the kids were all old enough to enjoy and remember a trip to Disneyland. Just before we got on the first roller-coaster type ride my youngest (7) heard all the people screaming. She looked up at me very seriously and asked if we were going to die on that ride. I reassured her that the ride was safe, but could be scary and that if she didn't want to go we would understand. Not only did she go on that ride, she went on every other roller coaster there and at California Adventure!
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| When my daughter was 4, she walked into the house after a tough day at school (montessori school), toss her stuffed Tazmanian devil doll on to our white whicker rocking chair and announced, "Ya know mom, Taz is having a bad chair day."
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ERINPATRICIA
That is so cute! Your stepson is a very polite young man too.
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ERINPATRICIA
2/8/06 5:24 P
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| My stepson had just turned four and wasw learning how to tie his shoes when h looked up at me and said "I'm very sorry to have to inform you of this, but my shoe is growing out of me"
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A little background....my hubby & I decided that we would teach our children the proper medical terms for their private parts. I hope this isn't inappropriate.... My husband is in the shower and upon pulling the curtain open, to his surprise our 2 year old daughter is standing there and says
"OH daddy you hurt you lil nine-uh?" Needless to say my husband learned to lock the bathroom door!
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| One time when we were going to pick up my mother for an out of town trip. My then, 3 1/2, year old daughter was having a fit & crying. I told her "You need to stop right now! Grandma is going to have a cow if you don't" Then she started to cry even harder. I asked her what was wrong now. She said "There's no room. I don't want grandma to bring a cow!"
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CHRISTYDALROS
2/8/06 11:29 A
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| When my daughter was about 4, we went out for Chinese food with my sister-in-law and her daughter. The waitress came around and the kids wanted chopsticks. My niece asked my daughter if she needed help using the chopsticks and my daughter snapped "I know how to use them, I have eaten Mexican Food before!!!" We still laugh about that.
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| My 4 year old step-grandson was asking for a "spicy hair". After asking him what that is, we found out he was asking for a spikey hair-do. That was very cute:)After I gave him the hair-do, he looked at the mirror and said " Darn, I am so handsome":)
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Thanks Viviana!
My six year old is always thinking!!!...you never know what's going to come out of his mouth next! LOL!!!!
Oh, P.S. I love your name!!!
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| Rainclouds, now that was very funyy!!!!!! ROFL!
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Quick background before I tell the story: We are always telling our son to eat his meat because he needs protien to grow big and strong.......So,
One day me and my son were going for a walk, and he was sucking on a candy. He took it out of his mouth, and handed it to me. I said I don't want that, throw it on the ground. Well, he looked at me stunned. he said, "Mom! that would be littering!" I explained that he was partially right, but because this candy melts in the rain, it is considred biodegradable. I also told him that the ants would eat it as they love sugar. He thought about this, and finally said, "You know mom, if the ants would eat more protien and less sugar, maybe they wouldn't be so small!"
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DAYDAYSMAM
2/5/06 11:56 P
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Oh just wait Billy Silly, they get funnier and funnier as they get a little older!!!
Today my son was running around the house growling and yelling "Mama Yoghurt" and I offered him one and he said no. He did this a few times, until I realized he's watched "Shrek" way too many times because what he was trying to say was "I Am An Ogre!!"
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BILLYS_SILLY
2/5/06 5:48 P
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Loved all the stories!!
Last May I went to visit a couple of my grandkids who I hadn't seen since the Halloween before. My granddaughter Anastazia just turned 3 and she is a nice solid girl with plenty of muscle and boy does she use it to defend herself from her 8 yr old brother who is very small for his age...LOL. Well I was hugging and loving apon her and I said her "Ana you sure are a solid girl, arent' you?" Anastazia looked at me and said "no, I'm a potato girl" It took us a few minutes to realize why she was saying that. She thought I was calling her a *salad* girl. Ever since then, she'll ask my daughter why I called her a salad girl when she don't like salads.
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BILLYS_SILLY
2/4/06 8:26 P
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These are great. We are trying to get pregnant, and can't wait to have my own story to tell.
Thanks for sharing
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My son sleepwaking when pee in the garbage can. I was sitting on the couch he walked past me into the kitchen lifted the lid and went pee. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop him in time!
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| This a great topic! My 16 month old was snuggling with dad this morning. He asked her for a kiss, and she said no. Then she covered his mouth so he couldn't sneak a kiss.
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ROFL...thanks for the laugh. I needed it!
My 17 month old discovered her shadow last week. So now when the sun is shining through our back window, she stands in it and tries to pick up her shadow. It's so funny watching her. She stomps on it and hits it, too, then looks at us like "Why can't I pick it up?!"
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| My mother loves to sew, and my 5 year old (at the time) loved to watch her. She was running in the livingroom at my mom's and fell on the coffee table. She needed stitches. When we got back from the emer. room she told Grandpa "I had to go get hemmed". We laughed!
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| When my daughter was probably 4 & being a little bit naughty my hubby was lecturing her & she was agruing back. He looked at her & said "Who's the boss? You or Me?" She looked at him, then looked at me & said "Mommy" Well, he had a good laugh & said "You got that right"
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| My 22 month old son and I were coming home one night and I asked if he could see the moon and starts (it was a cloudy night). He looked around , up and down and behind him . He then shook his head and sadly said " no moon Mama, Daddy take it away."....hehehe. It's amazing what they understand at such a young age!
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SARAHBABE25
2/3/06 4:07 P
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4 years ago when my daughter was 3 she wanted to be all grown up anyway she loved toast and every morning she had it.one paticular morning about 4.30am
i woke up with a fright the fire alarm went off so i panicked rushed into my daughters room and she wasnt there so i ran downstairs and found her in the kitchen standing on a chair looking at the toaster and she said look mum i made toast she was so proud of her self i looked at the toast and it was black as anything and there was smoke everywhere so i opened the windows and door like you do and sat her down and said she must never do it again and she said but i made toast mum i can cook but i wont do it again and i couldnt help but laugh but i think that was more of the fact i was relieved.it wasnt funny at the time but i look back on it now and see her so grown up i have a giggle about it
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When my son was three-ish, I bought a bag of marshmallows for him for the first time. When I gave him a few he ate the first one...played with the others. Then he looked at me...looked at the marshmallows....looked at me....looked at the marshmallows. Then he asks if I'm made of marshmallows because I was squishy and white. I laughed my butt off and said "Don't forget...I'm sweet too."
I love my baby!
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LOL!!!! Mine isn't old enough for sex education, but he's 21 months, so at that age where he's doing lots of funny stuff.
Here's the story though:
Ok, so my son basically started his potty training early. . . At around 16 mo I would ask him if he had a full diaper or went pee pee or where his pee pee is and he would hit himself in the crotch. Well my fiancee saw this and got a great idea. . . when he took him up to bed and was changing his diaper before bed he asked my son "Where is your pee pee" (while the diaper was off), so my genius son showed him by hitting himself. . . Oops, no padding, when his hand hit he said "Owwww". After two nights of this he learned and if his diaper is off, he'll hit his tummy instead LOL.
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DIETITIANBECKY
2/3/06 1:24 P
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OK, my turn...
Live in the country and our dog was attacked by an animal in the woods...anyway to stop the (severe)bleeding I was using feminine hygeine products, etc....My husband calls from work and is talking to our 7 year old son who reports "Yea, mom is using her egg catchers to stop the dog's bleeding" . You can see how far our sex education has been.
Becky
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I liked the post in the other thread about funny child stories, and I figured we would all have a lot. So I wanted to make a new thread just for the stories :)
My son asked if our dog could have babies. I said not anymore, she is spayed. He said "if she could how would she." So I informed him that "the man's DNA mixes with the lady's DNA from his private area to hers, it mixes together in the egg, and starts a baby."
He said "I'm glad humans don't do that." I had to tell him they did.
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