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some pretty good ideas. Follow your heart and balance it with your mind.
When your baby is crying wildly - if she gets to the point where it seems she is holding her breath - make a quick short blow (like blowing out a candle) in her face and she will be forced to take in a breath. This worked well for us with 2 stubborn boys. ;)
Understand that her only way of communicating to you is to cry. Do your best to understand her and comfort her and sometimes - its OK to cry for a little while.
I remember going through something similar with my first son. Called a friend in a panic saying i couldnt get anything done - not even a shower. She very compassionately said 1. Get over it. 2. get used to it 3. It will be ok.
Hard for me to hear, but he is now 11.
By the way, i am not suggesting you leave her there screaming - but just understand that babies dont come with manuals - and sometimes it hard. :)
How do the grandmoms feel about all of this? At some time you will need to leave her in their care. Are they OK if you just drop her off for a walk around the block? Maybe at this point she can cry for a while and learn that you will be back. Start with a walk, then graduate to the store...
good luck. i know its hard.
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| I think the other women here have some wonderful advice and I really have nothing to offer really. I was just going to mention that I could never get a sling to work for me. I used a carrier. You can strap it to your back (or chest) and can carry the baby around with you. My daughter went through a phase like that once and I used it at home every evening. I strapped her to my back and did my cleaning and laundry and fixed dinner. I do agree that once she gets used to grandma, she will be fine. Good luck!
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1SMARTBLONDE
11/10/08 10:14 A
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| Have you tried leaving her for a few hours or half a day prior to leaving her for a full day? This will help her get adjusted. Some babies cry while mother is there and then quit just a few minutes later.
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| It could be many things, a phase, separation anxiety, teething, etc. I agree that you can't really spoil a baby at that age. I would pick her up as soon as she cries so she knows that she will be comforted when she needs it. Be very glad that its only two days, and it's a grandparent. I've had to go back to work twice now after having each of my kids and leave them full time in a day care facility. It will be very hard on you, but I promise, she will adjust quickly. You, not so much. It took me quite awhile to be okay with it, and 4 years later, I still can't bring myself to drop off at daycare in the morning. I make my husband do it, and I take the afternoon pickup.
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Thank you all for your help. you have been a great help I will try what you suggested.
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ELITERUNNER
11/9/08 7:37 A
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I'm a big believer in "It's not possible to spoil babies by picking them up." She's crying because she needs you. I would pick her up when she cries. I know it's difficult to do a lot of things when she is this clingy but it sounds like she needs you.
January is a few months away. Is it possible to take her to her grandmas for a little a time? When you visit, stay with her. Then leave for 20 minutes. The next time 30-40 minutes etc.
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If you are really going back to work 2 days per week in January, could you start spending more time over at the Grandmothers' houses now, to help your child get more used to it while you are there? Gradually turn more of the care over to Grandma while you are still there.
It's time-consuming, but might work.
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I do have a sling, but it can be such a fuss. Thank you for yor advice. I hope it is just a phase.
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She's probably just going through a phase but I know that doesn't make it any easier on you. Have you ever tried a sling? At least, if you put in a sling she is with you and happy but you have your hands free to do things around the house, make meals, etc.
Rule out illness, ear infections, etc. Then try and not fret if there are times that you have to put her down and she fusses. She will be okay and then you'll come back to her. And before you know it she will have moved on through this phase.
Good luck!
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My baby is 23 weeks old and the past few weeks has been really clingy. She seems to be getting worse. I can put her on her mat for 20 min in the morning but that's it, for the rest of the day i have problems.
The big problem is, I have to go back to work in January and she will have to go to her grandparents for 2 days a week. But with both her grandmothers she just screams and doesn't stop. She will scream so hard that she carnt breath and will be sick. I haven't coddled her and I don't picked her up as soon as she cried
I don't know what to do. I want to look forward to going back to work and not worry weather she will be ok. But instead I am stressed and getting really upset because I don't want to leave her like this
What should I do? Please help me.
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