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JAYMESMOMMY2004
9/12/08 9:10 A
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My dd is 4 1/2 and we have been dealing with those issues for 2 years as she is a very strong willed child. Consistency is the key. Easier said than done I know but try try try. Also as someone else suggested when she throws a fit she is made to go to her room or another room if we are at someeone elese's house. She is told we don't want to hear it and when she can act appropriately and not whine, scream, cry, etc. she can rejoin us. Also I am so happy school is back in session because she is back on a schedule. Bedtime, lunch, dinner and activities the older they get the better becuase they get bored so much faster and need to be kept busy.
We also give choices when possible becuase it allows her to feel like she is getting to make the decison.
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DONNAMARIEM
9/12/08 6:02 A
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You just have to be consistent and mean what you say. If you tell him "no" to something you have to stick to it. If you say something like, "if you do that 1 more time you will not watch TV today " then you better unplug that TV if he does not obey.
You better get a handle on a 4 year old because if not you will have much bigger problems as he gets older and is bigger than you.
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I have a 4 yo and a 2 yo boys!!! I swear they are born knowing how to push your buttons. My biggest pet peeve is whinning and my oldest does it ALL the time. Even when I ignore him and I don't give in. He still does it.
My mom recently bought a book first read it then gave it to me. It's good!!!, but I am having a hard time, it's easy to go back to old habits. It's called "have a new kid by Friday" The few times I have done it, it seems to work on my oldest. For some reason not as well on the 2 year old, could be age yet.
Beckie
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MAGGIEMOMMY
9/11/08 3:31 P
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| My four year old is also very strong willed and can test my patience easily. When he decides to throw tantrums I usually tell him to go into the other room and calm down because mommy does not put up with that behavior. Usually within a few minutes of being alone in the other room, he calms himself down and reemerges a happier little man! Sometimes all they need is to be removed from the situation.
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I always found that my kids went through "stages." For a week or two, my little boy would be the sweet angel that I knew he was. Then, for about a week, he'd display some behavior that I didn't approve of. Because of consistency, I was able to nip the behavior in the bud so that my little boy would just "give it up" and go back to being himself. Consistency is the key!
I also read a book that I liked, Magic 1-2-3. It gives you the tools for remaining calm, while at the same time, letting your child know that you mean business! You might be able to find the book at your local library. If not, you can buy it at Amazon.
Best of luck to you!
Terri
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ABBIEONROAD
9/11/08 10:56 A
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| Thanks, everyone! Such great advice. Trying to get him to learn about chores is on my agenda for this weekend. He had his birthday party last weekend and his favorite gift - an alarm clock - ended up being the focus of his tantrum yesterday and ending up getting broken. Now I have witnessed many tantrums from this kid, but never this much rage for a lack of better word. I am keeping the broken clock as a visual learning tool to remind him what "being angry" can do. It is working so far and this morning he said, "Mama, maybe when I'm 5 I can get another alarm clock?" Too cute. I'm amazed how kids at that age can turn a complete 180 on a dime!
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KJNMASTOUT
9/11/08 9:00 A
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My best advice... pray, pray, pray!! :-) I have a 3 year old who is beginning this same journey and more than anything I just pray for the grace and patience to deal with the meltdowns in the best way possible for all of us. I pray for strength in being a good parent.
Now- that being said- I know that my praying will not (most likely) solve the issue of a 3 year old and fits... but hopefully it will guide my actions and words to make it better than worse!
You will get through it and this time will pass. I would say my second piece of advice would be to try not to yell or raise your voice- always keep calm and under control as much as you can and lead by example.
:-)
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Just to let you know you are not alone!! My son will turn 4 in the beginning of October.
Yesterday, was awful...he would not listen to me at all and had several total melt down tantrums.
It is so hard to keep your cool and be consistent...I am sending you a {{{{{hug}}}}}
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TIREMAKER
9/10/08 11:34 P
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Chose your battles, but be consistent. A lot of the time, when your child reaches 4 they are ready for some disciplined activities. The want and need guidance and direction.
The putting in a video and letting them watch tv while you do your housework or whatever doesn't work anymore.
Keep them occupied, change events througout the day, coloring, reading, video, playtime, naptime, lunch, chores, (yes, they are old enough they like to help,.)
Choose your battles, and don't make it a test of wills, you are the parent, and when you allow them to test you, you are giving them the option of if they are going to listen to you or not. It's not an option.
Good luck
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BEEZKNEES
9/10/08 10:54 P
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My now-13yo DD was a VERY high strung, stubborn little one. She had tantrums until she was 6. :P
I learned pretty early to choose my battles and to give her options.
What's she doing?
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ABBIEONROAD
9/10/08 9:42 A
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I have two boys, my first turned 4 on Saturday and is already exhibiting new behaviors. I am amazed at his new skill - the power struggle! We had a major meltdown this morning before preschool and it has really ruffled my feathers. What are some strategies that some of you have found useful in talking with and disciplining your child who is still so young and yet is learning quickly how to manipulate you? 
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