On the flip, side if you do say something to him and it does work out. The best relationships between husband and wife start out and stay friends. One of my best friends is my wife and has been since we started getting serious 25 years ago, we will be married for 23 years in Feb.
I understand how you feel about making the first move but you both will miss-out on a lot of great stuff if neither of you do.
The weight thing, if he truly likes you the weight will not matter to him and should not matter to you. You are trying to get healthy he must know it. Just leave that out of the equation.
Looks to me like you both have a lot more to loose by keeping your mouths shut.
VIC2006 10/24/07 10:26 A
I had a guy as a best friend for years and years. We did everything together. I was head over heels for him but never made a move in fear of ruining the tight friendship we had. He also seemed uninterested in something romantically. So i let it be.
I come to find out many years later, after i married and he married, that he was feeling the same way i was. He thought i was the one not interested because i never made a move and i thought he was not interested because he never made a move.
Maybe talk to him about how your feeling. And like Ronin said, be prepared to accept what he has to say and what happens from there.
Its possible he doesnt want anything romantic. Its possible he was just getting his mother off his back. Maybe he thinks you dont want anything more and therefore keeps his distance. There are so many possiblities.
I say either talk to him or drop some subtle hints and see where they lead you. Good luck.
RONIN672 10/24/07 1:53 A
I understand this quite a bit. I was always the guy that had alot of female friends, but nothing romantic involved with any of them. I was the big brother they never had(or wanted I'm sure some would say). If you want to get something started with him, you're probably going to have to make the move. He's looking at you as someone who's been his "buddy" all these years, and may not want to mess things up by getting romanticly involved .Now, that is also a possibility, and a risk you need to make sure you are willing to take. Yes, you have everything in common now, but it's different as a friend than it is as a date. So, I guess the only advice I ca ngive is be sure it's what you want, and start dropping hints his way. See if he picks up on it, who know's maybe he's thinking the same thing. Go with your gut instinct, and be prepared if things don't work out as planned.
SHORECHICK 10/23/07 11:02 P
I really hesitate to invade your "lounge" here, but I need some guy advice. I have a guy friend that I've known since we were about 10 (well he was 10 and I was 14). Our families are very close and we've stayed in touch over the years.
Every once in a while, when I have a formal event for work, he'll be my date. He's also come to weddings, etc. We always have an amazing time, and talk about how we really need to hang out more often, but we are both crazy busy. Our thoughts on marriage, kids, life, everything are so similar, and we finish each other's sentences. We just went out Saturday, and again danced, drank, and laughed all night.
So what's the problem? I'm totally head over heels for him. More of a problem, he never makes the first move with anyone, even his two past girlfriends went after him. And I've never made a first move on a guy, they've always pursued me.
To make it more interesting, his mom approached me on Labor Day to tell me that she has always secretly hoped we'd get together, and that she wants me as her daughter in law!! I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say much. She told me that she said the same to him, but that he told her that he looks as me as a "best friend" or "part of the family". Am I doomed to being the friend? Could he have just said that to get her off his back?
So my questions for you all: 1) do I do or say anything, 2) I'm lacking a bit of self esteem because of my weight, should I wait until I lose a little more before "making a move", or 3) should I do nothing, and just hope that if its meant to be it will?
I always try to believe that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life. But, that is getting harder as I get older (I never thought I'd be 32 and single). Maybe God helps those who help themselves. Any thoughts?
