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REVEREND!
My oldest sister, who is 51, gets physically ill if she doesn't work out [cardio] for at least an hour a day. She's usually going at it 2 hours a day and she's skinny as a rail and eats like a bird. If you didn't know her, you'd say she was anorexic.
She's in GREAT shape, but holy cow!
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| It is possible to have unhealthy obsessions about healthy topics. When it causes your life to become unmanagable, it's time to take a look at it. Other than that, keep it up.
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| I'm hip! Exactly what happened in my house! She got me started and now I'm the one who does the daily logging in and such and she doesn't. Huh....
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DAD2TWINS
7/19/07 11:50 P
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| I got started on Spark by my wife and her sisters, now I am the one who stays up with my workouts and calorie counting. My wife sometimes gets annoyed with my daily logging on the computer, but she understands taht it is for my health and benefit. After joining spark a couple of other guys and I started SPARK MEN in February. This is a team of very supportive and inspirational guys who are working through our spark goals by offering a male perspective. This has helped me tremendously.
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And isn't that the paradox fo the whole relationship thing? It's the things the other does on his or her own that attract and then seem to dissolve after time and then you have to find things to do on your own again and then it strats all over again.
I still like my own things to be my own things and in my relationship, we do a ton of things together, but working out isn't necessarily one of them. It may be from my desire to burn it up and go for broke rather than slow down a bit but when we do work out together once in a while, it still works.
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BEARINGTONBEAR
7/19/07 2:52 P
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When my boyfriend and I would work out together, I got a little jealous of his natural strength. I know I shouldn't expect to perform as well naturally as a man, but it still made me feel inferior.
I started going on long walks with him but for the other stuff we do our own thing. I'm a lot more confident about myself now.
I think you should encourage her to start her own program. If she's closed to that, she might change her mind when she realizes what a great life change it is to start taking care of yourself in an active, habitual way.
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True, true.
Gotta take care of yourself first or you won't be able to help anyone else.
And NO - I don't think that's selfish [unless it becomes that way or an obsession].
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SPEECHPATH22
7/18/07 8:34 A
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| Relationships are full of flaws and imperfections. Unfortunately you seem to be struggling with something that also effects your health. I would think that this is an area that she needs to grow in. Perhpas one night a week you two can participate in some type of physical activity that she chooses/enjoys. But I also think it's healthy to think of yourself first. You will be no good to either one of you if you miss out on creating a healthier life for yourself both physically and mentally. It could be worse. . . you could actually be spending too much time at the bar or playing poker :)
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| Good point. It's always good and fun to do things together when you can. Having said that, I do enjoy my hard and fast workouts by myself because when I have to perform my fitness tests, it's me against me and the clock so in training I know exactly what pushes me to do my best. When it's the two of us together, I back off and let her lead so it's fun for her. I'm still getting the exercise I need and I don't have to go 100% plus every time I work out.
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HIHELLOBYE
6/1/07 12:51 A
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Hi there
First of all, good on you for taking good care of your body!
Seconldy, just a small contribution if it helps... make it about her. Tell her that you want the both of you to enjoy growing old together, that you want to reach retirement and be able to do all kinds of fun things together, and that this is the way to keep you on track.
Sometimes too often we talk about what I want, what I do, what I think... Well, we all do this, so the real way to involve someone to our way of thinking is by making them see value in what we express. Think about how this is good for her (I mean the fact that you care, workout, eat healthy), and make her see all the good stuff in it, for her.
Cheers
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I think it's really interesting this topic popped up. I recently had a co-worker tell me of a 28 y/o that passed from a massive heart attack. He left behind a 2 year old son and loving wife.
My wife and I were talking about this and I explained to her, just this weekend, that I had to make a change because I didn't want to put her in that situation. We agreed that this time the eating habits had to stick, and we also need to introduce the exercise regimine into our lives. I gave her the option of supporting me and doing it along with me or not. We all know it is much easier to do it as a couple, and that is what we are trying.
We have also tried to find more couple and family friendly activities/exercises to work into our routine. Geocaching has been by far one of our best finds so far. It isn't uncommon for us to hike 3-4 miles a day on the weekends while we are out caching.
Anyways, just hope that she wants to support you. If she doesn't, you still have to do what you need to make you happy and healthy. She will just have to find a way to make that work with everything.
Good luck!
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| Interestingly enough, my girlfriend got me on to SP and now she can't keep up with me! Funny how that turned around, but she doesn't have high cholesterol and semi-annual Army physical fitness tests to complete. She hangs with me when she can but it's not easy for her since I do *nothing* halfway.
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SHERIDOMNI
5/28/07 11:08 P
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Another gal's take on things..
Perhaps she feels a little threatened by your dedication to spark and healthy living? I've seen others who felt that if they couldn't keep up or be as healthy as their partner then they start to worry that the partner will want someone who can keep up. Women typcially focus on their bodies a bit more than men, well other than men focusing on women's bodies lol, and perhaps she is comparing herself to women who are as fit as you are or would like to be?
Or perhaps she is feeling a bit needy just now and would like more time with you. I mention this as it seems you have a busy schedule with your exercise regime ...not to mention any other commitments such as a job, family, friends, etc.
Regardless, I would have the discussion suggested by others on how important being healthy is to you and invite her along on a few of your activities other than the gym. :)
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| Do what you need or want to do for yourself after giving the inviation, of course. If nothing else, you have some time for you to clear your head, think, meditate, whatever. If your time keeps you on track with your significant other, then what's the harm? I'm not suggesting being selfish or arrogant about it, but aren't the things you did for you before you met part of the allure? Everyone needs some personal time by themselves. You take the time for you and still have tome for her - best of both worlds!
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SKINNYTURTLE
4/26/07 2:23 A
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| Hi Shea! I just thought you might like a girls point of view. Granted it may be a little bias since I am also taking my regimen very seriously. Okay here it is she just doesn't get it. Make sure you tell her that this is something that you truly care about doing for yourself for you health and your happiness. As it affects you it will trickle down to her. The advice of inviting her along excellent. If she doesn't want to go no big. I have family members who don't get what I am doing and it is frustrating for both parties, but you are this motivated don't stop. If she gets angry and pulls the you don't spend time with me card don't worry because you have already invited her to share that time with you. Good Luck hope it helps.
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My wife couldn't keep up with me, I have longer legs, a more physical job and less weight. I do some slower exercising that isn't demanding, but that we can share some time. A stroll instead of a jog, and a chat to go along with it. Now, she's keeping up and giving me a run for my money.
Is your friend's viewpoint that you are leaving her to play? Is there an exercise that she enjoys that you can join her in?
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LITTLE-LUEY
4/23/07 7:17 P
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| I say stay doing what you are doing, she will join you when she feels like it. My wife goes on walks with me once in a while, when she feels like it. She now knows that I am serious about this and she supports my efforts. Your girlfriend will see it is important for you and just allow you do continue, she may come along also.
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I want to preface this by saying that I have a girlfriend that I love. She's a wonderful, sweet, funny person!
Unfortunately, she's pretty frustrated about my "obsession" with working out and having to track my calories, etc. She is aware of SparkPeople, which I think is a great resource.
I would not say I'm obsessed at all, just motivated. I love to road bike and can be out a good 1-3 hours, about every other day (doing the long rides on the weekend). I also work out at a club a couple times per week (usually with her).
Any suggestions? Have you had similar experiences?
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