My last post seemed doubtful, and I apologize. For those of you with resistant partners, don't stop communicating! Find out what kind of activities that they like to do, and if they have no idea, then sit down together and find one together. Experiment until you find a couple, so that either of you don't get bored. Try not to force this on them, but don't let them slack off either. Gradually and hopefully, they'll come around. Whatever you do, if your partner is hesitant and joins you, encourage them as much as you can. You never know, it could become a friendly competition. I hope that this helps.
MRING82 2/15/07 2:39 P
I'll vouch for TexasMama. My wife does like to go walking with me and occasional biking. However, these are summer activities, and we can't really do any of this during the winter. And, while I've been continually working out throughout the winter, my wife has reduced her level of exercise activity.
So, by the time summer comes around again, I'm going to want to walk or ride longer and faster than she will, but we won't be able to. Then I won't get as much from the exercise as she will, unfortunately.
Any ideas for what we can do now so that there isn't such a gap come summer-time?
TEXASMAMA 2/15/07 2:21 P
Okay, I was ease dropping in the "Guy's Lounge".
My husband was giving me a little bit of a hard time at first about my trips to the Y. He kept asking me "what's his name?" :)
Then I talked him into going with me by telling him we could play basketball. We did once and then we couldn't get a court the next couple of times so that died out.
Then I talked him into running with me. He doesn't like to run and I do so that slowed down quick although he will go running with me occasionally.
Now, we have taken up racquetball together and both love it. We go to the Y 3 times a week together for racquetball. Since we started that he has taken up the boxing bag, rowing machine, weights, etc. Which gives me time to go up to the indoor track and run or hit a treadmill.
As a wife...things that might have motivated me would have been going walking together, riding bikes together, going to the park to shoot baskets, etc. If your going to the gym...do they have a hot tub, pool, tanning bed, etc. that your wife might be interested in?
FIT2UNFITNBACK 2/15/07 11:08 A
Not to brag, but when I was in the military, I got myself into excellent shape. My wife then, just knew that I was cheating on her. This is despite the fact that I came home drenched in sweat (she sometimes had to help me get out of my shirt), and extremely tired. The first thing that the other military wives would ask her is did I workout when they saw me. I would ask her to come to the gym with me constantly, but nothing worked. Sorry to say gentlemen, but the new you sometimes will put a barrier in between those who you love and are inspired to get healthier for the most. Needless to say, the marriage didn't last and my ex-wife still has unhealthy eating habits and many health problems.
I hope that for those of you who are having struggles now, somehow find a way to avoid what happened to me. I would suggest that if they do not want to try SP, then maybe a seminar by a nutritionist at your local hospital. If your partner is willing to go to a gym, then maybe try getting help from a personal trainer. Best of luck!
MRING82 2/13/07 1:22 P
This is really insightful. I'm having the same issues with my wife. I agree that my working out has probably invaded our together time a bit (when she's watching her favorite tv shows, I'll leave and go to the gym). I also think I'm driving her crazy when she offers me some baked good and I tell her I don't need it. She loves to cook, and I think I'm making her feel bad by refusing more often than not.
I tried to get her to join SparkPeople, but she thought it was a waste. I, on the other hand, swear by it now.
My wife knows that she should work out a little more than she does now, but it's difficult finding something to do together in the winter. Anybody have any suggestions?
WILDSTAR67 2/13/07 9:37 A
I'm running into that problem with my partner. They are very concerned about the attention I get now.
I also get alot of negative comments such as "you're too thin", "you have not butt", "chicken legs". They are meant as jokes, but I don't get the "You look amazing", "you clothes fit you so well", or other compliments.
I definately think it's their insecurities. At the same time I lost 70 lbs, my partner has gained about 20 lbs. I've tried to get them onto SP, but they refuse.
For the first time since we got together (7 years ago), I am now lighter then they are.
Strangely though, my mother (who has always told me that I was either too heavy or too skinny ... never just right), loves the new me and is always complimenting me.
I do get hit on regularly now, but I have no interest in anyone both my partner. I just wish they knew that.
MACMAN1 2/10/07 11:00 P
Robert,
One thing I have to be careful about when it comes to my wife and my fitness goals is to make sure I don't neglect my marraige for my workout times. The problem with negativity toward you losing weight, might be more directed at time that she is no longer able to have with you.
Suggestions: Work out early in the morning or later in the day when it doesn't take time away from her (My buddy Dan does this.)
Work out together.
Work out at the same time she is working out. My wife goes to Curves every morning. This gives me a good time to hit the weights or the treadmill.
ROBERTINTHESKY 2/10/07 3:18 P
Thanks for the replies guys. My previous girlfriend seemed to not like me losing weight (I assumed it was because I was lighter than her, as is the situation with my current girlfriend), but she didn't make negative comments about it.
My biggest fear is that she will not be attracted to me, because she has never seen me at that weight, except in photos. The difference between what she's seen and my goal is only 8kg but you never know, do you?
RUSS1985 2/10/07 12:19 P
That happens. One girfriend in college had decided that my trips to the gym were proof of infidelity and it was always a fight. That relationship didn't last long after that.
You've got to get you health and fitness done for you. As long as you are not becoming preachy about how you're losing weight and making her follow suit, there shouldn't be a problem.
DUMBBELLZ 2/10/07 7:05 A
That reaction is not uncommon. Reasons vary- denial of their own weight/health issues, insecurity, jealous of your success, etc. etc. etc.
My belief is that you need to manage your own weight and health for yourself, and not concern yourself with others. It is nice when others support you, and appreciate your success, but the real payoff is in your own life.
GOLFPRO 2/9/07 11:59 P
My wife and I did SparkPeople together, so I can't share from experience. My best suggestion would be to talk with here and ask why?
My guess is that she has some insecurities and is afraid you will leave her if you're thinner and "more attractive" to the masses.
ROBERTINTHESKY 2/9/07 8:45 P
I'm losing weight for various reasons, and my girlfriend of about 3 years is showing a degree of resistance to my weight loss. Has anyone else had this experience? She on occasions makes negative comments about what I will look like etc. So, anyone else with this problem? Thanks.
