  |
|
|
|
| Hey, you know, maybe I should quit trying to answer FOR the guys, since I am not one! But that's just the experience I had. Nothing like being told you're too SKINNY by some guy when all your life you wanted to be skinnier!
|
|
|
|
I am completely open to being wrong about this. I am under the impression that this is the way most men feel - when I talk to them - especially when they are younger.
EDIT: You know - I teach at a college that is filled, ofcourse, with young students, and young faculty - my pass time is paintball, which is a young sport - maybe I am reflecting what the younger people around me are expressing.
For the record - I am not one of those guys that think the Paris Hilton anorexic female type look good. I used to think that when I was younger - but as I get older I feel that curvier women are prettier and healthier looking.
I hope I am wrong that most men feel the way I have described.
Thanks for your polite replies to my posts.
TF
|
|
|
|
I really think there are lots of men that don't feel the way TF does. I know tons of guys who prefer curvier women. I know lots of curvier women in perfectly happy, loving, committed relationships. I was told by an ex a couple years ago, when I was at my current goal weight, which most would consider ideal for my height, that he didn't like girls who were "too skinny" - meant as a critique to me (he wasn't the nicest guy), and sure enough every other girl I've seen him date has been considerably larger than me.
We all have different tastes and preferences. Some girls drool over muscle-bound guys, while some, like me, don't find excessive muscles attractive and prefer a leaner guy. And some girls like soft teddy bear guys. Same with men! There's someone out there for everyone.
|
|
|
|
Again, I don't think you're speaking for most men.
Having played semi-pro football and did a tour in the army, I have talked to literally hundreds of men.
The concensus has always been curves over skinny.
You may have a point with "obese", but to suggest most men don't find curvy, or some extra pounds attractive or sexy is crazy.
Like I said, I had my fair share of "sowing the royal oats" and had all shapes and sizes as partners. I can tell you, while trying to stay as G rated as possible, the bigger girls were far more lively, hot, responsive and orgasmic than the thin girls...and if that isn't sexy, what is?
|
|
|
|
I think you are not the norm. I was attempting to speak for most men.
Again - I do not want to sound mean - or cruel - just honest.
TF
|
|
|
|
I disagree.
Heavier women can still be extremely sexy and a turn on. It's all how they carry themselves.
|
|
|
|
I will speak as honestly as I can. It may sound - well - not as couth as it could.
Men are visual people that even when they gain weight - they often don't want thier women to gain weight.
Stick with your program, try to loose weight for you (it is the only way that works) - but if your looking for 'men' to become less shallow - you are trying to change the world.
TF
|
|
|
|
When I was younger and (if I can say so myself) was traffic stopping in my body and looks and literally could get any girl I wanted...and did.
http://tinyurl.com/2qxzu4
http://tinyurl.com/3bjacp
http://tinyurl.com/2s7h3n
The girls I was with came in all shapes and sizes.
I was with the "hard body", "athletic", "average", "Chubby" and "overweight" girl. There were girls who every guy drooled over and those I am sure people were saying behind our backs, "how did that happen?" One of the girls I dated for a long time was 5' 8" and around 250 lbs. The woman I married is 5' 10" and is 286 lbs.
You know what each and every one of them share in common?
They all recognized what they did have going for them and sold it 100%
I was attracted to the girl that was confident and didn't NEED a guy to complete her, That wasn't "desperate" to have a guy.
Wanting or needing has a person exuding exactly that, 'wantiness' and neediness. Seeing as how we all already have our own wants and needs, why do we want someone like that? We already have that in spades.
What we want is the "have" not the "have not".
You talk, walk and act as a "have" and there will be a stampede.
Proof?
How many times have you or someone else upon being single a long time, gets together with someone and then soon after talks about all these people who want them?
"Where were all these people when I was single?!?!"
How many times is that uttered?
You know why? The person has gone from a "have not" to a "have" and people are attracted to the "Haves."
You want a man, stop wanting one.
You want your weight to be non consequential, stop thinking about it and focusing on it and sell your positive traits 100% and carry yourself as someone who would be complemented by a man, but doesn't need one.
Like spirits attract, feel like nothing and that's what you'll attract...nothing.
Feel like a million and you'll attract a million.
It is a universal and spiritual truth.
Shine on
|
|
|
|
| Okay, I'm not a guy (sorry, I was tres bored and I've never been in here before) and I've been able to hook lots of guys. Yes, the bar isn't the nicest place, but I have found, when I've been most conscious about my weight is the time I had the worst luck with guys. When I let down my barrier and didn't care I was able to reel them in like no tomorrow, seriously. Why? because they were able to see the confident, 'real' Jenn. Keep looking, there are lots of great guys that are willing to look past fat!
|
|
JKMALOTT2
1/18/07 12:58 A
|
|
|
|
| Okay, I'm not a guy (sorry, I was tres bored and I've never been in here before) and I've been able to hook lots of guys. Yes, the bar isn't the nicest place, but I have found, when I've been most conscious about my weight is the time I had the worst luck with guys. When I let down my barrier and didn't care I was able to reel them in like no tomorrow, seriously. Why? because they were able to see the confident, 'real' Jenn. Keep looking, there are lots of great guys that are willing to look past fat!
|
|
PANDABEAR22
1/7/07 7:31 A
|
|
|
|
| awwww... people can be cruel at times, I am not sure if this helps but I know a few fairly large girls who pick up alot of men. At first I couldn't understand why but the fact was they had amazing personalitys and had high confidence in themselves. So try and be flirty, fun and confident and your weight shouldnt be as big of an issue as you think it is
|
|
DESTINYRN11
12/18/06 12:01 A
|
|
|
|
great advice, its weird though being big you do get different responses mostly of the less attractive, less inteligent. less less when you have more of you. LOL. I was always just right now im big...very different perspectives recieved and perceived. Oh and great job on your weight loss.
julie
|
|
POKER_FIEND
11/26/06 2:25 A
|
|
|
|
| What I can say are guys are typically visual people. As a dynamite girl, get out there and exude confidence. Don't wait for un-enlightened. Believe in yourself. It is amazing how often when we feel good about oursevels it translates into how others view us. There are those who are simply looking for a trophy or ornament for their arms, but they are simply insecure. Be patient and don't settle.
|
|
|
|
I'm not a guy but I wanted to offer *HUGS*
(I was curious about the posts in the guys' lounge, so I sneaked in and I saw your post - it touched my heart).
I hope you find Mr. Right - but first you must be happy with yourself! If you're looking for someone to make you feel fulfilled you'll always feel empty - you have to love yourself first.
Good luck!
|
|
GOPHEROON
11/25/06 10:36 A
|
|
|
|
Meeting a lot of new people helps. A lot of guys do not voluntarily strike up conversation with anyone so you'll have to start it. So talk to the store clerks and ask for assistance at a store even though you might be able to figure out the answer by yourself.
Or go to places with group activities, such as classes on just about anything (gym class, reading, music). Guys are more honest and sincere away from bars and discos where picking up women is one of the main things.
Finally, you might want to try approaching people as potential friends instead of something more. It's a good way to get things started.
|
|
CHRISTOPHERD
11/24/06 7:32 A
|
|
|
|
Do not lose heart! There is Mr Right out there for you, just be patient and do not rush into things!
I have travelled to many countries and have known many very large ladies who are hapliy married with families!
Some people cannot help their size but in my experience, the bigger the person, the bigger the heart!
Many men do not look at the size of a person but look for the personality so again I say, Just be patient and some nice guy will find you!
|
|
HEYWORTH83
11/23/06 12:54 P
|
|
|
|
When I look for a girl, I don't care about her size [as long as she puts some effort and cares about her appearance - dresses nicely etc] and laughs at my jokes :)
I don't know whether you have much confidence or not? If not you may come across as being 'not interested' in guys cos of your shyness - and the guy will likely move on.
Where and how do you meet them? Well you can always try dating websites [plentyoffish.com is greatand it's totally free] - make sure to put a pic up tho. Some people on there are creeps I guess, but most are cool decent people.
Other than that just keep making friends and sure enough one of these people will start to like you in 'that way'.
Hope this helps,
Mick.
|
|
SILLYGAL
11/23/06 12:06 P
|
|
|
|
I wish I could meet a guy that can see past my fat, where and how do u meet a guy like this? Afterall, everyone has their problems, I have weight problems, and have had them all my life. I try to keep it under control at all times. I am broken hearted because I am a "dynamite" lady. Was wondering if I could get a man's point of view
Thank You
|
|
