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MINNOW1982
4/17/08 12:57 P
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| Just an update, I did end up deciding to ask her. I still haven't yet, but will soon. We'll be having uneven sides, I finally decided-who cares! 7 on my side 6 on his, I doubt anyone will even notice. Thanks for all the input!
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STEELER74386
4/17/08 9:15 A
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| i agree you should def. ask her....i wish it was the same with my fiances sister. his stepsister is a witch.
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MANDIETERRIER
4/16/08 2:20 P
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| I think as a gesture of goodwill to your new family, you should ask her.
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HARMONIZE76
4/16/08 2:08 P
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| yes, i agree...i would at least ask her and let her decide whether she want to be a BM or to be involved in some other way. I have 9 attendants, and one of them is my fiancee's cousin, with whom i've gotten to be really close to. it was my suggestion to ask her to be a BM in the first place. good luck!!
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| You may want to ask her but let her know that you understand that she lives out of the country and maybe can't take part as much as others. She may even volunteer to be involved in some other way because of the distance. You at least will have reached out to her but let her gauge her own ability for involvement. I have been a bridesmaid in weddings in other states and it was so tough I kind of regretted it. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in another country.
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MARCEBELLE06
2/21/08 4:28 P
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| we are not including anyone of his family but thats just because non of them get along! i like his sister but not enough to be apart of the wedding maybe somthing at the reception but thats it. if you like her that much then i would include her!
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Give her a different job.
She shouldn't be hurt if you have only met a few times.
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MINNOW1982
2/20/08 3:24 P
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She's just a couple years younger than me, 23 I think. So we are very similar in age. Our other siblings will be involved, my brother will probably be an usher and the best man/maid of honor are our same sex siblings (My sister and his brother). Thanks for all the advice...I just emailed him that he needed to start thinking about who his 7th groomsman might be.
Either way she will definitely be included in the day as a part of the wedding in some way..reading, greeting, etc.
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SNARKYKITTEN
2/20/08 1:48 P
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| It could also depend on whether either of you are including siblings or cousins. If you have any family members in the wedding party, and exclude her, she might feel left out. Have you talked to his mother to get a better idea of whether his sister will feel left out if not included or feel guilted into being in the wedding if she's asked?
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| I think it depends on the age of his sister. My fiancé's sisters will not be in our wedding. They are at least 10 yrs older than me. He will have his 20 yr old nephew as a groomsman and his 5 yr old great niece as one of the flower girls and that's it for his family. His best man is his best friend.
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SWEETCANELA1
2/20/08 8:16 A
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I agree the fact that it is his sister she sould be included.
I was very upset and insulted when I was not included in my brother's wedding when I felt out a reached out to her to do things with her and make plans and she never came through.
I felt like no one even knew I was related since I was not even at any rehearsals or anything nor did she even think of a way to include me and my other sister. We are steps but grew up together and my brother that is our real brother but his step-sister was included but we were not because it was her decision on the girls.
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If she was a sister-in-law I think you could get away with not including her, and it wouldn't be a big deal, but I think the fact that she's his sister means she should be included. You've only met her twice, but he grew up with her (I'm assuming). I think it would be a great way to start off since she is now going to be part of your family. Unfortunately, my fiance has three brothers and two friends he wants to include so we're having 5 BM and 5GM (I only wanted three). This basically means that I had to exclude my best male friend, but I'm including him in another way. I think it would be best to include the sister in the wedding party, explain the situation to one of your friends (if you really don't want things to be lopsided), and include your friend in the ceremony in another way.
I hope this helps. Good luck with your decision, I know it's not going to be easy or fun.
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MINNOW1982
2/19/08 8:40 P
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| I'm struggling with the wedding party. We can each do 6 easily, but that does not include his sister. I've only met her twice (she lives out of the country right now), but I LOVE her and she's so much fun. He, of course, is no help when it comes to guessing if she would feel upset if she's not a BM (but would still be very invovled in the day). I really don't want to have uneven sides, a lot of people do it now, but I'd prefer not to. Thoughts? It seems that people my mom's age say it should be a no brainer I should definitely have her, people my age think it's no big deal including her in another way.
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