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SEXYLITTLEBRIDE
12/31/07 11:58 A
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| Thanks for the replies ladies! Sometimes I just need to hear from others that it is unwise to go against the wishes of my future husband. I knew that it wasn't a great idea to do to begin with, but I just need to hear it from someone other than the Mr. On a postive note, we have found a solution. My future mother-in-law is going to let me borrow her treadmill. It is currently being used as a clothing rack in her garage. ;) So it is perfect. Although the two of us don't see eye to eye on all finaces, we do have the same goal in mind and that is to buy a house. I'm paying for the wedding and he is putting the down payment on the house. We plan on having both separate and shared accounts and putting in an equal percentage to the shared account for bills, etc. Thanks for setting me straight and all the helpful advice.
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FISHWATER
12/30/07 9:59 A
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to me, it seems like the treadmill is just a symbol of your spending. maybe you two could sit down and make a budget together? he would see that you are financially responsible and willing to save. also, you could check Craig's List or the newspaper for garage sales for a treadmill. many people buy them and do not use them- so you could find a brand new one for a fraction of the cost. there are also used sports goods stores in major cities- here we have "Play it Again Sports" and they have used machines to try.
Are you planning to have a joint account? my honey and i have a joint account (and joint savings) that we both pay into from our personal checking- just to cover all of the household bills. the leftover $ goes to savings. but i can still buy things with "my money" if i want to. one of my best friends has been married 7 years, while almost all of our friends have gotten divorced, and she and her husband have separate bank accounts. whatever works for you- and good luck.
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I don't see why purchasing a treadmill is a huge deal. I don't see how it's a 'major purchase' either, especially if you're using your money. There are even some that fold for easy storage. I would suggest you start going to the gym again and prove to him that you want to exercise and then ask again in a couple months.
It seems like money may be a point of contention once you're married. Have you considered keeping a second bank account for yourself? My fiance and I opened a joint one, but we are also keeping our separate accounts where our checks are deposited and then will contribute equally to to the joint account for bills.
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I am going to agree with him on this one.
First, you are already shelling out a ton of money on exercise equipment that you don't use. Every month you pay for a gym membership that gives you access to a treadmill and to numerous other exercise machines. Wanting a treadmill at your house while you don't use the gym membership you pay for every month does come across as frivolous and wasteful to someone who is careful with their money. I'm not trying to be rude but think about it, you are engaged and planning on starting a life TOGETHER. Throwing it in his face that you are still two SEPERATE people and can spend your money however you want was a low blow.
If you really want to do some cardio at home you can go to any sporting goods store and buy a mini-stair stepper for about $30. They work well and don't take up a lot of space.
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GREYFUZZY
12/27/07 11:13 A
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Maybe see if you can come to a compromise... a lot of people buy fitness equipment to start their New Year's resolutions, and then get rid of it in February or March when they realize they haven't used it.
Do you have a store like Play It Again Sports near you? Try hitting them up to see if you can get a bargain on a used treadmill, or scour your local paper's classifieds.
Bella is right, though - he might have other reasons for not wanting you to get it that have nothing to do with cost. (My fiance worried for a while that I was quite literally making him look bad next to me, and I've heard many other stories as well.) Have a heart to heart with him. Even though it is your money, you two are a couple, and you probably wouldn't make a decision like changing jobs or buying a new couch (that you'd both end up sharing) without his input.
Even though I'm not married yet either, I'm sure every married couple has disagreements on how to spend their money. Just take this as an opportunity to learn how to compromise on financial issues BEFORE you're married!
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I do think it would be hazardous to go ahead and purchase the treadmill without his approval. Your treadmill would be a rather large, daily reminder of this.
Try to work out the issue before you make the purchase. You should both feel comfortable when either one of you makes a major purchase.
Perhaps you can find a compromise by either buying a less-expensive treadmill than you had originally planned, or trying to find a used one in the paper (you may be able to find one for $100 or less this way).
To me, health is invaluable, and a treadmill for your home is a great investment. Could there be another reason why your future husband might not approve of the treadmill?
Is he supportive of your weight loss? He may fear that if you lose weight and look better, he may lose you.
He may also be skeptical of how often your major purchase will be used... many people purchase exercise equipment, use it for a week, and then it just takes up space.
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SEXYLITTLEBRIDE
12/26/07 6:21 P
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| Here's my dilema. I told my hubby-2-be that I was thinking about purchasing a treadmill and he thought it was a terrible idea. He sighted the cost, size, and the fact that I have a gym membership as his reasons for not buying a one. I told him that I felt it would be a good purchase for myself now and for future use by the two of us once we're married. He got pretty upset at the whole idea so I got a little upset as well. I told him that since we aren't married yet, still have separate households and bank accounts that technically I could do whatever I wanted. I know this upset him because he is very careful with his money and I feel he sees this as an indication that I will not be careful once it becomes "our money". I tend to be a little less careful with money but not by any means out of control. I save money every month and have money invested as well. I told him that the only reason I renewed my gym membership was because it was something we used to do together but he hasn't gone with me in a really long time. I would still go to the gym it would just be a lot more convenient to do cardio at home. I know a treadmill is a larger purchase (not like a house or a car), but I feel it would be a great investment in my health. Am I wrong in going against his wishes and purchasing this piece of equipment?
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