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BRIDEBEREADY
12/31/07 9:01 P
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Hello everybody, I am posting here as I am on my way to my 2nd wedding as well. It is my fiance's first. We are having a decent size wedding at 5pm at night. I am wearing white and I am going to love wearing that dress as I was 6 months pregnant the first time around and there were not too many dresses to choose from.
It has been great reading about everyone's experiences on here and it really helps to not feel alone in these issues!
I am looking forward to talking to you all.
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| hi there , thanks for the reply, you know when we are in a bad relationship/marriage only we ourselves know when we have tried enough and its time to call it a day, 7yrs is when some give up as they have had enough time to know that the other person is lying and never going to succeeed in building a good relationship for the 2 in it,, i believe selfish people are the ones that cause the breakdown. And only the brave end them non uf us deserve self abuse , i read a book bySusan forward,, it wascalled {Men who hate women], and the women who love them] after 30 yrs of marriage i finally left a man that my own parents had set me up for in that thanks to them i had no self worth and just allowed him to keep me down right down, having said that i have 8 lovely children and thanks to the bible,s teachings they are all ok you see my religion was the only thing he didnt manage to take away from me ,, oh he tried hard and i almost lost faith a few times but i left him eventually 7 yr ago it took me 3yr to wean off his visits . I still dont under stand that , i can only think that we are brought up to believe marraige is for ever and something inside a woman makes us want to make things work i know i believe the best of everyone til i am proved wrong .I am so lonely at times but i am not sorry i divorced him, at last no more lies and cheating , no more uncertainty i have learnt to drive and get out more, and i am able to use the computer,he would never have allowed any of that. Congratulations again on your up and coming marriage, I know you will succeed because you waited and found what you were really looking for by the sounds of it. I hope i get another chance too. warm christian love Jill
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FISHWATER
12/29/07 10:44 P
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yes I agree that a marriage is hard work and people should not bail out on their partners. my parents have been married over 35 years, and my fiance's parents have been married 45 years.
i begged my ex-husband to go to counseling with me and he wouldn't. he was arrested and went to jail and then rehab for drugs. he was also verbally abusive to me. would you suggest staying in that type of marriage?
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| just read the posts concerning your marriage up and coming , you have some lovely ideas, and so practical for your situation, but i would like to also commend you in that you have decided to make/take the plunge, how can we ever expect a decent society when some are just hopping in and out of relationships, i hope you give your marriage and sticking at it as much thought as you put into arranging it, im sure you will after all we dont move house when the chimney is broke or the roof is leaking we fix it and us women are good at fixing things ,so be prepared to give at all the thought youve already put in to organising it , on a tiny scale each day and you will make it for all times even through the hard times , all the best and warm christian love to you and your partner,, hope you didnt mind me butting in and saying my piece Jill
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| we will have the ceremony and reception at 1 pm and everyone has to leave before the ship leaves at 4. they take care of everything- cake, champagne, flowers, music, food, photographer etc. a lot of our friends and family will go on the cruise, but we can only have 50 non-sailing guests. his mother is pissed but i am excited. it's perfect because it is elegant, easy and affordable. i don't want to start my marriage off in debt! (my parents already paid for my first wedding.)
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KATIE_MEDIC
12/4/07 10:40 P
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The cruise ship is our plan, too. We will have the ceremony in port, with our friends and family in attendance. Then a small reception on board before we depart. Everyone gets off and we sail off for our honeymoon! They even help coordinate it, so that makes it even less stressful. Now if we could only settle on a date...
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GRACEGONE104
11/9/07 4:31 P
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| So the ceremony is before the ship leaves port and then afterwards, you cruise as your honeymoon?
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we're leaning toward a cruise ship wedding. it is fairly inexpensive, elegant and they take care of almost everything: food, beverage, cake, music, photographer and videographer. i just have to pray that there isn't a hurricane!
our guests can attend the wedding and leave, they don't have to "take the cruise."
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SHELCURT2979
11/8/07 4:37 P
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| I was married "on the courthouse steps" so to speak. And really want a REAL wedding. I have been married for 6 years and me and the hubby want to set the date for nest year on 8-8-08. SO I'm here trying to stay motivated to get back into my high school size 8. I use to laugh when I said that but it's not funny anymore. Good luck with your wedding plans!!!
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PUFFPUFF1997
11/8/07 2:06 P
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I'm planning on wearing white.
About the whole divorce thing...my parents have just announced that if I marry him they'll disown me. It's a hard decision to make and especially the fact that my fiance wanted them to like him. The look on his face was just utter amazement and priceless when I told my parents if that's how they feel then that's how they feel. They weren't too pleased to find out that I'm not willing to sacrifice my happiness to fit into their "perfect, catholic world". I'm a good daughter and this is just something I need to do for myself. Besides my fiance's parents are thrilled that I'm joining their family so that's going great. For everyone who's been divorced...IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!
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GRACEGONE104
11/7/07 1:45 P
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| Anyone still wearing white?? I think I am going to. Is that wrong? I know it is my day, but I still don't know! LOL
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EVAPORATED
11/7/07 9:22 A
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| I'm engaged to be married, but we've not set a date yet. Too much bureaucratical tape to weed through. Obviously since I'm posting here, this is my second wedding. It's my fiance's first. My first wedding was a mediocre affaire, but the second time around, we'd like to wed on the beach in Maui. Since my fiance owns his own company, it's hard to get away, hence us dragging our feet on the wedding, even though we'll have been engaged 2 years on the 25th. I wouldn't know what to do if I were part of the catholic church. I mean, my ex was a drug pusher, cheating (he had a baby with a teenage girl during our marriage!), and mentally abusive man. I have a real problem with someone telling me that I must live out the rest of the only life I get on this earth with a person like that...
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BELLETRISTIC
11/6/07 1:52 P
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I'm an ex-Catholic too b/c of the church's position on divorce ;-)
This is my 2nd, his 1st. I had the big traditional wedding with the ex. We're not sure what we're doing yet. He doesn't want a big wedding and I'm not really interested in that either. I don't want it to be huge but I want it to be nice, no courthouse or anything like that but limited to our immediate families.
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GRACEGONE104
11/6/07 11:18 A
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| It is actually fun planning it, it is a bit stressful but still fun!!!!
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BUTTERFLIDRMZ
11/4/07 3:39 A
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| I agree! I didnt have say so in the date or the decor or anything. My exhusband did it all and didnt want me involved in it. Not this time
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GRACEGONE104
11/2/07 4:49 P
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I agree!! It is YOUR day!!!!! And you have it how YOU want it. You can't please everyone! So you make it what you want. I also agree with you 100% on the church things you said. I too am pro-choice. I was taking my neice to church for her CCD classes so she can have her 1st communion. And listening to the presist's homily was actually hard. He was going on and on Pro Life. Anyway - i digress!!!
It is going to our days. And I think that everything happens for a reason in life and that you have to make yourself happy.
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| Fishwater-- Make sure you get married where YOU want to and do the things that you want to do for your wedding and don't let others influence your decisions. I let it happen to me the first time around and totally regretted it! Now things are going MY way. With input from my fiance I guess! LOL
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Puffpuff- i hear you about the catholic thing! i was raised catholic but do not agree with the church because i am pro-choice, believe that gays have rights and don't think you have to have a penis to preach the word of God! i had to join the church recently to be a godmother to my niece (one godparent has to be catholic.) well, my future mother in law found out and has spoken to the priest about us getting married there. i am like NO WAY! but i don't want to be rude. the church is her life.
but i am lucky because his parents are really sweet and loving towards me. my mom and his mom talked about our wedding the other nite for 45 mins and we havn't even set a date!!!'
Good luck all- weddings are great, its the marriage that is tough!
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GRACEGONE104
11/2/07 9:46 A
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Thanks for that! I have met them and they do love me and I them. So I am hoping it goes well. I know his father wouldn't say anything to me about it. But I just worry anyway! 
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I think that once they learn about the divorce it isn't going to matter much. Have you met them yet? If they love you not knowing they are going to continue to love you!
I think that is so weird how some people react when they here their son is dating someone who is divorced. I dated a guy whose parents hated me b4 ever meeting me because of it. Gee that one didn't work out! I am glad that it is not an issue anymore!
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BUTTERFLIDRMZ
11/1/07 8:50 P
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| This is my 2nd marriage and this is his 1st. Neither of us has kids or anything holding us to our exs. This willbe my 2nd and last
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GRACEGONE104
10/31/07 12:08 P
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| I will be my 2nd, his first, no kids for either. I got married very young and it just was the WORST thing I could have done. But as of now his parent's dont' even know I amm divorced. Which I can't understand why he hasn't told them yet. He says he will, but I know his father will not take it well at all. His father is very religious and is already upset that we aren't getting married in a church. So I am not sure how he will take this news. I am quite nervous about it though.
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PUFFPUFF1997
10/30/07 2:21 P
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| Well it's going to be my first and his second marriage. No children from either of us but my parents are dead against the fact that I'll be his second wife. They aren't supportive of it at all and there is no support there for us to get married. The fact that he got divorced in the first place just doesn't bode well for them (they're strict catholic, but we're still going to do it. I wish you the best of luck and happy wishes.
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FISHWATER
10/29/07 10:58 A
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we just got engaged Saturday. he proposed before i even had my coffee, sent me to the Ritz-Carlton with my sister for a relaxation massage, had lunch where we had our first date and a nice dinner that evening.
i had a "big" traditional wedding the first time around, and this time i want it casual and intimate and stress free. i want to be barefoot on the beach, (but with a back up plan in case the weather is bad.)
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| Congrats! Isn't it so much more fun the second time around! I am having so much fun with planning and dreaming this time that just didn't happen last time.
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AMORSALADO
10/23/07 1:50 P
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It's the second time for both of us, and I also said "never again." I'm still rather surprised that I'm walking down that aisle again when I swore I wouldn't do it.
Neither of us had a "real" wedding the first time around. I got married in my parent's living room when I was barely 20 years old.
This time we're doing the traditional wedding with the amazing dress, tuxes, flowers, huge catered reception, the whole nine yards.
I couldn't be any happier.
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| Congrats to all those 2nd timers out there!
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| This is the second time for both of us. We both were in not so pleasant situations before (obviously or we wouldn't be divorced). We both feel like we have made better choices this time. I am really looking forward to starting my life with him. We will marry on November 3rd, 2007.
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ASIBERIANS
10/15/07 12:18 P
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| My situation is about identical to yours, he has two daughters from his first marriage and I have one...and now we have an 18 month old baby girl together. We celebrate our third year together in November, and he wasn't ever planning on getting married again. I felt a little differently about the subject though. :)
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ASIBERIANS
10/15/07 12:18 P
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| My situation is about identical to yours, he has two daughters from his first marriage and I have one...and now we have an 18 month old baby girl together. We celebrate our third year together in November, and he wasn't ever planning on getting married again. I felt a little differently about the subject though. :)
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FIT2WED2
10/14/07 10:47 A
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| Congrats to both of you! My BF also got married at the jp so this was a good compromise for us. I think that because we never wanted to get married again makes us stronger as a couple now. We really know what we want and aren't going to make the same mistakes that we made the first time around!
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SOFTFULLLIPS
10/14/07 12:45 A
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This is our second marriage. We also said "never again" so imagine our suprise when we eloped to Las Vegas last September, 2006.
We are renewing our vows on October 27, 2007 and we are having the full ceremony and reception with family and friends. Its something we both wanted since our first marriages were short lived and jp types of ceremonies.
We are so excited and then off to Barbados for 8 wonderful nights.
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MOMMACOLLUM
10/13/07 3:00 P
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This is my second wedding as well, I was married the first time (at 18) in the local court house. Boy was that a big mistake, but 4 years and two wonderful sons later, I have met the man of my dreams and we are set to be married in September 09'! Seeing as my first wedding was nontraditional and the is my DF's first wedding, we are having the traditional church wedding.
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FIT2WED2
10/12/07 12:05 P
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| We are also doing the cooking at ours too. The attendents are just wearing whatever little black dress they want to and I am getting a bridesmaid dress. My fiance is in charge of what the guys wear so I'm sure it will be jeans and button down shirt. He is not very good at matching so I might have to step in a little! LOL
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PATRICIAJANE
10/11/07 8:32 P
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This is my second wedding as well. We're keeping it as casual as possible. No ties, I'm not wearing a wedding dress, and we're even doing the cooking.
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FIT2WED2
10/11/07 12:34 P
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I'm Mel and getting married for the second time in Aug of '08. We have been together for 5 years and said at first that we were never getting married again. Threw out the relationship we decided that we really did want to get married. We have 5 children altogether 2 his, 2 mine and just had a new baby boy together. They are all so excited.
Just wondering if there is anybody else in this type of situation and what kind of wedding plans they are making.
We are getting married in a lodge and keeping it very casual and focasing on having a good time. My last wedding was very traditional and wanted to do something completely different this time!
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