  |
|
SATURNPOET
6/11/07 3:13 P
|
|
|
|
| When friends ask 'where's your engagement ring' I point them to my new shiny living room floors! My fiance and I live together for over a year, own a home together, and chose to do something more practical, something we would both enjoy together. We don't really have separate money so it would be silly for him to buy me a ring when we both know that we can buy something we both want and will enjoy together. A diamond is a silly frivolous thing.
|
|
|
|
| I think that I agree with you! The ring is just a symbol and not totally an important "must have"! I actually just talked with him about it again last night and he said that he has something special planned and I should have it before the end of June. This will only be 3 months before the wedding and I have missed being able to show it to people that I have seen and may not see again before the wedding, but what is really important is that we love each other and are going to be married very soon!!
|
|
REANA_MAMA
6/11/07 10:40 A
|
|
|
|
Hi! I also do not have my ring yet. However, I knew that I wouldn't. My fiance' and I have been together for 8.5 years and we are finally getting married! WE have a 2 year old daughter, and live together so I know his financial situation. Because I don't want to be in debt (well not wedding debt anyways) after the wedding, I prefer that he pay off the ring before I get it. This way he is not getting it on credit or whatever. I have already picked out my ring and know (approximately) when I will be getting it.
We are getting married in June of 2008 and expect my ring at least 9 months before then, however, if he can't, I just want it on our wedding day so it can be blessed. I am already getting his ring the same way now too.
It is funny you said that you would buy yourself a fake one! LOL! I thought about doing the same thing! LOL!! However, I know that it is NOT about the ring it is about the union!
Ziggy, I feel like what you said was very harsh. The engagement ring is just an object and honestly it is just there to show-off. The only ring that is NECESSARY in my book is the wedding ring (although the e-ring is nice to have! LOL!) HE is trying to get it now and that shows his commitment!
|
|
|
|
Thanks to everyone for all the advice! I think that I may have figured it out! I think that he has ordered the ring and it has just not arrived yet! He mentioned that he was going to be short on money this month, he also had to take the car to do a few things a few weeks ago. We have to move unexpectedly and were talking about ways to save money and he said that we will not be eating out any this month, then he said that we would have one dinner out this month, but that would be something else - all vague, but when you put it all together...
I know that he wants it to be a surprise and special, since there wasn't a real proposal since we worked out the wedding date with the church and so on.
I think that I have to let it all go, we are getting married on 9-22 (131 days), then I will have the man of my dreams, who loves me crazy and may actually be more excited about this wedding than I am!
Thanks to all
|
|
|
|
| Ziggy, I think thats a bit harsh. There could be many reasons that he hasnt got one yet, maybe he hasnt found one that is beautiful enough for you, its possible money is an issue, the wedding is coming up quick, maybe you should mention the wedding ring instead, that way he has to have a look to find one for himself and that will put the idea in his head, he might pull his finger out and get you one, and he can see what you would really like and ask the jewellers opinion on what engagement ring will compliment your wedding rings. Fingers crossed.
|
|
STORMCHASER28
5/14/07 2:45 P
|
|
|
|
| Personally if I was you, I would run and not look book. This looks a guy that has issues with committment. It doesn't make sense to me why a guy would propose when he doesn't have a ring. The promise of getting one wouldn't be enough for me.
|
|
SATURNPOET
5/14/07 12:43 P
|
|
|
|
| Since the ring is important to you and he promised it, you should be honest about your feelings and ask abou it. However, being "embarassed" at your shower because you don't have a piece of jewelry on your hand is making the ring a bigger deal than it should be. Your relationship doesn't depend on a piece of jewelry nor should it. Intead, focus on communicating your needs and being honest with each ther. And to many people starting out and getting married, thousands of dollars on a ring can be better invested in something for your future together...
|
|
|
|
| I completely agree with Marie 110! You need to try to find a way to communicate your feelings with your husband to be. Maybe he doesnt' realize that the ring is a symbol of being together forever. I completely understand why it would bother you not to have a ring. Especially when most people ask to see it the second you announce you are engaged.
|
|
|
|
| You need to come out and tell it to him straight about how you feel. After all, he's going to become your husband for life, so you need to be comfy enough to talk with him about any matter--big or small.
|
|
|
|
| I know alot of people that didnt have engagement rings. To me the wedding ring means more than the engagement ring.
|
|
|
|
My FI proposed to me about 4 years ago and then kept asking me when I was going to start planning our wedding and everytime my answer was just as soon as you put a ring on my finger and not until!! There was no way I would plan untill that!! So he kept buggy me and I kept buggy him and then I just strated looking for rings online and when I found the one i really wanted I took him to the jewerly store and showed him and thats when he finally got it. I had to wait until christmas to get it but I started planning as soon as I knew when I was getting it!!
So I don't know what to tell you really but what works for me is nagging!! LOL I hate to do it but it finally gets my point across and I tell him if he don't want to listen to it anymore then he just needs to do what I ask!!
Good Luck!!
|
|
|
|
Ok - my boyfriend and I are getting married on September 22, 2007. We have been planning the wedding since the first week of January. Chris is so excited, he can't stop talking about the wedding and honeymoon. He can't stop talking about how much he is looking forward to being married to me and what a great life we will have.
Here is the issue - I still don't have an engagement ring! He told me in January, when we set the date and started the planning that a ring would be coming "soon" - he did tell me that he wanted it to be a surprise, so I would not be getting it for any holiday or occasion. Still no ring! I had a bridal shower last month and I tried to talk to him about how odd and uncomfortable it was for me to have a shower in my honor and still not have a ring. I have offered to help pay for it if money is an issue. I have tired to explain how important having the ring well in advance of the wedding means to me. He says that I will have the ring in "plenty of time before the wedding" - we only have about 4 1/2 months left - plenty of time before the wedding is about past!
How do I talk to him about this? Maybe it would be better to have a ring at all - at least that way I would stop wishing that I had one. Maybe I should just buy myself a fake one to wear until he gets around to giving me the real one?
I just don't know what to do and it is causing me to be resentful - I don't want to be resentful, I want to be happy and enjoy all this period of being engaged and planning and everything - he does not understand how important this symbol is to me and I don't know what to say to help him understand. Any suggestions?
|
|
