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| hey.. similar thing happened with me too.. one of my then very close friend of mine had similar problem.. i realised she was also swinger later.. she is used to get in touch with guys through the net and social networking sites and after that she meets them and go to bed with them.. this kind of one night stand has got her addicted to undue importance she was getting.. finally i had only option to keep away from her.. what can u do more than this, when someone is not taking ur advice..
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FISHWATER
12/23/07 6:24 P
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i definitely believe in a faithful marriage. there has to be trust between two people.
i think one of my coworkers is a "swinger"- she always asks about my fiance and has invited us over "for a drink" though i have told her several times that we don't drink. at first i thought she was lonely, but at a cookout she pointedly discussed her husbands physique with me and admired my honey's body. Ewwwww!!!!! i laughed about it at work to others, but it is very disturbing!
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| hi all.. its been long long time,, i did not post anything on a important topic i started. sex is a need for every human being. with the mankind becoming more and mature and sensible, we started connecting sex with emotion and bond. if we humans also start having sex as we feel like, there is not difference between us and the animals.. no offence, its my personal opinion. i had plenty of oppoutunities to have sex outside my marriage, but, till date i am sincere to my wife and faithful too. and i have 100% faith in her too.. Believe me..
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| Marriage is about communication and loyalty. Once that bond is severed, it is hard to put it back. You haave to ask yourself before you do it , if it is truly worth destroying your marriage.
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| Cheating is wrong. You can justify your actions all you want but at the end of the day you know your actions are wrong. The minister said forsaken all others in the ceremony. If you didn't want to forsake all others, then you should have called off the wedding and quit betraying your spouse. I could go on, but I will stop here.
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BUTTERFLIDRMZ
11/4/07 7:54 P
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| My personal opinion, you married that person, so thats the ONLY person you are to sleep with. I think its wrong to cheat. I have been in a marriage before where I was cheated on in my own home!!!
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| Sme people here are labeling polygamy with swinging---two very different things. In any case I would only ever want to be with one person and thats the ony way I would have a marriage. Polygamy is part of other cultures and should be respected even though we dont agree with it.
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This is interesting because I lost a very dear friend because we did not see eye to eye on this very subject.
My stand is simple. If you want to be having sex with someone other than your spouse it is time to reevaluate if your relationship with your spouse is working, and if something is wrong try to fix it WITH THEM. Swinging, polygamy, whatever you want to call it is, in my brutal opinion, WRONG.
If my fiance came up to me and said "Hey let's have a open marriage, ok?" I would quite simply give him back the ring and tell him that we both made a horrible mistake and I won't waste any more of his time. (Not that he would we are very much on the same page here).
My real honest opinion, the part that upsets people, is that if you really think Polygamy, or swinging can work is you are way to selfish, and think to much about your private parts. It shows a complete lack of self control, or even self love, to give into vice that easily and make it "OK" in your mind.
Now, I am very opinionated, so this comes out very harsh.
I could have remained friends with my friend but SHE could not stand it that when she brought up her "boyfriend" (She was married with a CHILD) I would not have any encouraging words, or I didn't want to hear about it anymore. I asked her to not bring her boyfriend to an event I was having and it threw her off the deep end.
I am sorry to hear about your husband Honey. 
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HONEYMEAL
10/26/07 7:13 P
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DITTO THE MADNESS. OOPS, I NEED A HUSBAND SOMEBODY TOOK MINE.
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DUBLINROSE
10/26/07 6:19 A
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cheating is wrong - going behind someones back like that is never acceptable. if there are problems it should be discussed before it even gets to the stage where one party is willing to sleep with someone else
swingers though are a totally different matter. some people just have different opinions on whats ok in a marriage and who are we to judge. i know a couple who swing once or twice a month and while i personally couldnt do it they love it.
who are we to say what other people do in the privacy of their own homes is wrong? each to his own i say
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| What's marriage got to do with it? My husband had to nail any female he could and I hope it was worth it cuz now Viagra can't help him, and i don't want what he has to offer. married 30 years, I am looking elsewhere because I am now at MY sexual peak, he can do nothing for me. I knew he was with other women but ignored it and he was an excellent dad and husband but now I need something more and he just can't. I'm not bad and i already know what he has done in the past with his attitude of life is short so get it while you can. I will get it.
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| I feel that cheating is wrong. Anything you wouldn't do with your spouse in the same room is unacceptable behavior.
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| I guess to each their own, I just dont understand why someone would sleep with someone else if they are in love. I guess I see it that if you really loved someone they would be the only one you would want to do that with. If you need to 'MAKE LOVE' with someone else, do you honestly love the person you are in a relationship with?
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VINDICATED
6/20/07 11:15 A
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| Meh, I stick with my original statement. To each his (or her) own. If someone needs validation by what their peers say... that's their own issue. Do what's right for you (and your relationship in this case), not what everyone else says is right.
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MKITTERMAN
6/20/07 10:50 A
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Does anyone else find it a little odd that NMVENKY is pushing the topic so much?
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| I'm surprised that people are saying that having sex before marriage is wrong, but that its okay to sleep with other people after you're married as long as your spouse agrees. This kind of thinking makes no sense to me whatsoever.
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My last marriage (also my first) ended because of infidelity on his part. It turned into a long drawn out divorce, and ther are feelings of hurt and distrust that will always be there in one form or another.
Once you're committed, that's it for me. It becomes a strickly "looky-no-touchy" thing from my perspective. That's me personally, and my Fiance is onboard with me there.
I have known a few people who have had an "open marriage" that seemed to work for a while, but both sets of couples ended up in a divorce, and it was worse than mine.
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AMBERLEY2003
6/3/07 5:16 P
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| I would never be able to be a "swinger" personally. The risk of disease and such can be very scary!
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ANGELICB11
5/29/07 2:40 P
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| to me, marriage includes that commitment to only share that with one person. everyone does have different views, but i agree, why get married if one of the major reasons you commit yourself to another person is one that you will violate? and i also believe that no matter how much both agree to do it, eventually it will catch up and it will be a disaster!
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VINDICATED
5/21/07 2:25 P
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| I think it truly depends on the couple. Cheating is never right, but if you've both agreed it's ok and fits in your relationship, then that's between the two of you. For some people, they are able to separate sex and love, and to have various partners can actually be an activity to bring you closer. It's a matter of personal preference and every single relationship is going to be different. I think the bottom line is that it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should judge what a couple decides to do. I wouldn't judge anyone who decides only to have sex with their spouse any more than I would judge a couple who chooses to swing. Personal freedom of choice.
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2BMARRIED
5/21/07 12:49 P
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We are getting married in two months (from today...yikes!) and we have both had sex before (we both have kids). Looking back, I wish I would have waited, becuase it would have made our wedding night so much more special, plus I would have been right in the eyes of God. HOWEVER...I would not go back and give up my son for anything in the world.
But 3 months ago we signed a purity covenant through a marriage seminar and we have remained pure since. It's REALLY HARD!!!
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MRSNANABOAT
5/20/07 9:14 P
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| It isn't for me but to each his own I guess.
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| I know people do that, but like everyone else said...why even get married? Marriage is a sacred bond and commitment, I just don't understand the point.
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Its very nice to hear such positive statements from all of you.. I used to think, I am the only guy who used to think on this lines.. surprise! u all think alike..
But still lot of men and women screw around before they get married.. i know a lady, who atleast had sex 9 to 10 times with all differenet guys before she settled down..
what do u guys and gals think on this..
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I believe it is wrong.
I believe that marriage is a covenant between 3 people, the bride, the groom, and the Lord.
A marriage is a faithful partnership and it should be honored. Marriage is fundamentally the most important decision any person will make in their lifetime, and if they aren't prepared to take it seriously they shouldn't do it.
There's my two cents. Strict view, I know, but you did ask for frank opinions :)
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| It's not acceptable to FI and I, but to some people it is. I think honestly it comes down to the couple and their mutual agreement on the topic.
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I think that you should get all your sexin out before you get married. Everyone knows sex and marriage are not compatable inside or outside of the union.
Love
THe chop
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wow... wht a lady u r.. i really admire u for the quality u have in u.. good.. i think still people are sensible faithful to each other in the 21st century.. good show..
I want everyone to come out with free and frank opinion abt the sex outside the marriage..
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/16/07 9:35 A
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| I wanted to stay a virgin til I got married...but things happened...not so good things...then my son's dad lied and told me all kinds of crap about lovin me and wantin to marry me...and then I gave in with my heart and all....but I got the best part of him...I have a wonderful son who is my life...but I just can't imagine not bein faithful to your husband/wife...even if you both agree to it....
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| I AM ABSOLUTELY AGAINST IT.WHY WOULD YOU SABOTAGE A UNION YOU VOWED TO KEEP SACRED.
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| hey friends.. i find everyone is correct in their own way regarding sex outside marriage.. in my case, i was a virgin till i got married.. after marriage, i am totally faithful to my wife.. inspite of my staying away from her due to my work.. their were girls who came on me.. its me who never took such kind of step.. wht do u all think.. r u supposed to be like this..
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/12/07 9:39 A
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| I don't know...that is cheatin if you ask me....and I've had too much of that in other relationships I don't want it in my marriage!
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| I agree, why get married or stay married if you want to sleep with other people? I just dont understand. I would NEVER allow that to happen in my relationship, if you are committed to your partner you should be with ONLY THEM!!!
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| What!!! Is this for real? People do that? Why bother getting married at all then!
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/11/07 12:20 P
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| I disagree with it 100%....why even get married?
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| generally.. now with five people.. there are six opinion on sex outside the marriage.. but i think.. u can have sex if u r going strong with each other.. if u start experimenting then its bad.. i think sex is more of emotional and mental thing than anything else.. becaz if ur mood is not good, u may not be able have sex with one of the wonderful person on this world..
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| If both people are into it - good for them. I think the problem for many people is the jealousy factor. It's easy to think about what you would enjoy, but when you start thinking about your spouse being with someone else it changes things -- what if they're better, or they have a better emotional connection? If you had complete faith in your spouse that they would always come back, it might be easier. We watched someone on VHI awhile back about swingers and the sad thing was seeing this married couple head out to meet another couple hoping that they were going to get "laid." Hello, why don't you stay at home and get laid?
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| I could never be part of that, but I think if a couple wants to do it, that's their risk.
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| I think swinging is fine if all parties consent, but I don't think I could handle anything but a monogamous marriage.
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NOTBLUSHING
3/3/07 10:47 A
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| Why bother getting married?
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TOMEGHANDMAMA
3/2/07 2:22 P
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| for me and my relationship, i am personally completely against it but...i know there are those out there who are swingers or there are just those couples who are so immature, who for some reason play roulette behind their spouses backs (i know of a younger couple where she's cheated on him, they got back together and i just heard he recently cheated on her...). i guess to answer your question i'd need more fyi as to why you asked it the first place...are you feeling like you or your fiance does not want to be faithful and monogamous??? for me, i see no point in marrying if you wish to have sex or sexual relations outside of that union.
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I disagree with it completely. But I won't lie I do have an older married cousin- husband and wife (in their 40's) who are members of a swingers club and regularly do things with other people. It makes me very upset.
Leslie
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| I think for most people this is stating the obvious.
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CRICKETRO
2/22/07 11:17 A
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cheating isn't ok even when u r dating...so obviously cheating is not ok when u r married ;)
why would u ask?
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BUBBLES_NW2003
2/20/07 2:17 P
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I agree with you for the most part, but do know couples who both agree that sex with other people is ok. I think if both people are truely comfortable with that (one is not being coerced in to it) and feel like it works for them then I don't have a problem with it. As with any relationship, good communication has to happen for it to work. For what it's worth, the couples I know are still together and seem to have as strong a relationship as other couples who choose only to have sex with each other.
Any sex outside of the marriage where it is NOT agreeded upon as ok beforehand is a big problem though.
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| hi guys and the gals... what do u people think having sex outside the marriage.. In my personal opinion, it should not happen. Once u r commited in life with someone, u should be trust worthy
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