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JUPITERFLIER
4/4/07 5:14 P
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In your case ELAINENEWBIE.....I would pray, chant, etc for things returnable!
:)
K
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ELAINENEWBIE
4/4/07 9:08 A
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| I really like the webpage idea.
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ELAINENEWBIE
4/4/07 9:08 A
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| Thanks...I think word of mouth might just work for Geoff's side of the family, but with my side, you could tell them where we are registered and physcially give a registry list to my side of the family and ask them not to give us anything and they wouldn't look at the registry of listen to what we say anyway.
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| Our save the date magnets have a knot page listed where we plan to list where we are registered.
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BESKINNYNOW
4/3/07 4:04 P
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Hey Elaine,
You still can't put anything on the invitation. But in this case, I almost think that word of mouth will be more successful. As people ask where you're registered you can just say, "We really don't need anything and would really just prefer that you join us at our wedding. We appreciate the thought though!" I would say to still expect to get a lot of gift cards and cash gifts.
And no no no no no to the regestry inserts. (other thread) It's not about not offending people. If you were sending out a birthday party invitation you wouldn't include your gift wish list with it. You're inviting people to come and celebrate the beginning of your marriage with you. mentioning where they should buy you gifts is so inappropriate. Put it on a website and use word of mouth but NO INSERTS!!!!
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ELAINENEWBIE
4/3/07 12:26 P
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We are an older couple and have basically accumulated most of the things we need. Hence we are doing a destination wedding. People can spend their money on room and board if they want to come out with us and enjoy the destination.
We were talking about what gifts we need and the only thing was laminate hardwood floor boards. Last thing we want is to lug boxes of laminate around or add more 'stuff' to our already cluttered home.
So we are trying to think up a statement that basically says we have too much clutter so please just share the day with us instead.
Any ideas?
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LADYBOOP1970
4/2/07 3:25 P
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I agree with you ACBASH - it isn't supposed to be about what gift you bring - it's supposed to be about sharing a special day with two people who have asked you to be there. Now, I will admit that I haven't gone to a wedding because I didn't have a gift. But I was a last-minute invite with no time to get a gift. I obviously wasn't that close to the couple and didn't feel they would miss me that much anyway. Oh, and that couple put ON THEIR INVITATIONS that they wanted cash gifts only as they were trying to buy new furniture. It speaks for itself.
Anyway, if someone shows up to my wedding without a gift I'm not going to care. I want them there to share the day with us, not for what they're going to bring me.
JMHO
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| I thought the point of inviting guests to your weddings was to have them share in your joy not to get gifts? At our wedding we only had a handful of guests and the only reason we got mad at my husband's uncle about his "gift" is that for the next year everytime we saw him he kept saying it was on back order. (We never expected gifts and made that known so his lying was what made us mad). For our vow renewal we're sending a "newsletter" stating that we don't want gifts and if people feel they need to "give" us something we want them to make a donation to a charity.
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JUPITERFLIER
4/2/07 12:32 P
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| Just my two cents....Generally speaking by the time your wedding rolls around, your family and friends have already given you a huge amount of time and energy and support. Putting registry information in an invitation should be unnecessary. After all, most people know where to get the information on the family grapevine. If people choose not to give you a gift, that is either a reflection of their poor taste, or their embarrassed financial circumstances.
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/2/07 10:16 A
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| We haven't even done our registry yet...but we are NOT puttin the registry info in our wedding invites...that is horrible....we are going to have it in the shower invites of course and it will be on our wedding web page....
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From what I've heard, you should NEVER put it on the actual invite. However, it IS okay to put it on a shower invite because...well, that what bridal showers are for!
When the time comes, I think I am going to put a little slip in the ivitation that will have the hotel and locations info and also the wedding webpage address. Then on the actual website I am going to have registry links along with other stuff. But for the people who aren't very internet savvy, they'll just have to ask me or my mom.
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| I have a question for you all. Why is it ok to "ditch" some traditions and etiquette but not others? 99% of things done in weddings stem from tradition (including etiquette rules). So many bride's I've talk to lately have said that they don't worry about etiquette b/c it's outdated. Well, in that case I believe that we should get rid of exchanging rings (since it was a symbol of the man "owning" the woman) and receptions (it traditionally was part of the wedding dowery). It's my opinion that a wedding is the one place where people should use proper etiquette b/c it is such a special time and it deserves to be treated as such. But again all this is just my opinon.
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JOYFULSERENITY
4/1/07 10:18 A
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| Everyone has their own opinion on what to do, but do what is right for you. I think many of the wedding "traditions" are outdated for today's society. For instance, it's almost a staple that you have to register for china... but I'm not. Why? I will never, ever use china... and then it's just sitting around my house doing absolutely nothing. What's the point? If you want to include them, include them. I've seen it done both ways, and for me, I would rather not try to figure out where people are registered. Just my two cents.
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| As a student studying wedding consulting, PLEASE don't include registry info in wedding invites!!! Or any other info other than ceremony and reception info. Not only is it poor etiquette but I find it very tacky! Gifts at a wedding are not supposed to be expected (there is no rule-etiquette or other-that says guests have to bring gifts). If you would like to let people know, either do it through word of mouth or send a wedding newsletter. That way people who don't know how to use a computer (e.g. older guests) or people who don't have access to internet get the same info (registry info, hotel info, etc) as everyone else. I find it much more considerate than just having a wedding website.
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Well, we aren't including it in our invitations, but it is posted on our wedding website almost at the very bottom tab.
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CHEWIEKIKI
3/22/07 4:45 P
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I've read it's okay. I'm thinking about putting together a Website, but honestly I don't think I'm going to put my registry information on it. If someone writes and asks me for it, I guess I'll post a reply on the blog, but I just can't see putting it on there.
I was originally thinking I would, but then I changed my mind. I also look at quite a few wedding blogs, and the best ones didn't have anything like that on there...
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AMILNEFLIP
3/22/07 3:02 P
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| I have decided not to include them because I do think that is tacky. I have listed our wedding website that, along with the regstries, has information about us, where we met, the engagement, etc. lists of motels, directions, etc. I feel that is appropriate. What are your thoughts?
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CHEWIEKIKI
3/22/07 12:55 P
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Registry inserts? That has got to be one of the tackiest things I've ever heard of. Just because they sell them or offer them does not make them okay.
The only occasion where this is okay is for showers (which are gift giving parties) that are hosted by friends.
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I think its a bit tacky to put registry information in the invites. The day is really about the marriage of you and your future husband or wife. If people want to (as most will) give you a gift, they will try the common registries or ask someone close to you where you are registered.
I think listing registries on a wedding website is fine, though.
Listing them with the invite seems to take some focus away from what's important though - the wedding and marriage.
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LADYMACBEST
2/17/07 12:20 A
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It is not inappropriate to include registry information. In fact most places now have registry inserts. I included my honeymoon registry inserts and in bridal shower invitations I included my pampered registry inserts and for the bachelorette party I will include my registry inserts for those too. Everywhere we are registered has preprinted inserts specifically for your invitations. The order that I put my stuff in the envelope was this:
Invitation (words facing up), response card, registry insert and map.
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SEXIESTBRIDE
2/16/07 6:53 P
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| I think it's a good idea to put it on your wedding website and just include your URL with your invitations, I'm doing this. But I see nothing wrong with putting your registry cards in your invitations. I've never been offended when someone includes their registry information in their invitation, I think it's dumb for people to get offended by this. Yea, I've read the ettiquette books too, but I think some things are just old fashioned now.
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CHEWIEKIKI
2/15/07 11:42 A
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It is never okay to list your registry info on your invitations. If someone wants to know, they can find out through word of mouth. (Tell a couple close friends and relatives.)
I have read, however, that it's okay if you include it on your wedding website. Just try to be tasteful and discrete about it. It probably shouldn't be a prominent feature.
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| Go to blogger.com and set up a wedding blog/web site. You can post your registry info there as well as hotel reservations, maps to the ceremony/reception sites, and any other info you want guests to have. Then just put a little line in your invite to visit the web site. Easy as pie.
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AMILNEFLIP
2/15/07 10:41 A
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| I am wondering how to let people know where we are registered with out sounding too pushy about wanting gifts, if you know what I mean. Any one have ideas as how to list where you're registered without sounding pushy? Is that something you put in with the invitations?
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