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AURORAB345
4/11/06 9:50 A
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That's good information about the nanny - I didn't realize they could be an affordable alternative.
My husband definately want kids, we are just trying to figure out whether to have them naturally, and when. Ideally, we both wanted a little time to just enjoy being husband and wife. But I've got some major health issues, and 6 weeks after the wedding underwent surgery for one of them. My docs have said that any pregnancy I had would be very high risk, and as they are concerned about a recurrance of the problem, they say we should take advantage of the time right after the surgery if we want to have children naturally. This has me really questioning exactly what is the value of having a child naturally vs. adopting? Is it really worth dangerously jeopardizing my health and possibly our childs? Can I trust that my body will really be to handle it? I am fortunate that although I know my husband would ideally like to have children naturally, he is very open to other options like adoption or surrogacy, and so am I. The problem then becomes financial. I'd love any thoughts or feedback you ladies may have.
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| We're planning on at least 4 and we've already discussed child-care. We're planning on a nanny for while we're at work, preferably a bilingual one as we live in a very bi-lingual city and think it would be great for the kids. A decent nanny costs approximately the same as daycare for one infant, so it will work out well...
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| no children now, plan on having 2
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LITTLESIS96
4/5/06 11:52 A
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We have a very large family. Starting with he has a daughter who is 27 and I don't claim as my step child. The rest are either currently living with us or recently move out
his son-19
his daughter-18 (just moved out)
his daughter-15
my son-11
our son-7
our son-2-
our son-11 months
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| I'm with Fiestykitty. None for us. He tried his hand at raising children when he had a LTR with a woman who already had kids. For 9 years he struggled through a relationship that wasn't working. They weren't even his kids! As for me, I don't feel the need to have kids. My brother and his wife are having their first one soon so that takes care of my parents. His brother already has two so that takes care of his parents.
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THISONES4ME
4/4/06 10:26 A
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| How does anyone find the time to diet, and excersize with kids? I'm lucky if I get to brush my hair everyday!!!
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THISONES4ME
4/4/06 10:22 A
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I have Two crazy boys!!! A four yr old and a 7 month old!!
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NORTHERNNAAN
4/3/06 11:59 A
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I have one. He has three. I wanted another terribly, but we will not have any together.
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JANICESKATES
4/3/06 11:57 A
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Thanks Hottiewannabe. I was a little concerned about coming off as shallow, so I'm glad someone else sees things my way.
I know what you mean about the day care though. Not sure what we'll do about that - I don't feel comfortable having his parents watch our kids, and I don't even know that they'd offer. My mom is too far away. So it's day care pretty much by default...unless I make friends with a stay-at-home mom who wants a little extra cash...probably too much to hope for though!
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HOTTIEWANNABE
4/3/06 11:36 A
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Janice I can empathize. It seems from August to Feb all birthdays, anniversaries, holidays are concentrated. So we are gettign married in May and hopefully will have a baby (someday) around the same time.
To those of you who want more or less kids than your fiance, the advice I was given is to have one then see how you feel. I THOUGHT I wanted more, until I started keeping my niece on the weekends sometimes. She is a handful, by Sunday I am ready to send her packing and I want to relax, its hard to imagine having her 24/7. I just think of all the nights she has been up teething or with a tummy ache or sick. One may be enough for me physically, mentally and finacially. We could not afford for me to be a stay at home mom, but daycare for more than one child would be almost like me working to pay for daycare. Sad but that may be the way it has to be.
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SARAHKRISTY117
4/1/06 4:37 P
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| He wants 5 kids, I want 4. We both come from families that have 5 kids but I really feel like I want to limit it to 4 so I can keep track! haha.
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JANICESKATES
4/1/06 4:02 P
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We'd like to have 2-3 kids, starting about a year after the wedding.
I'd kind of like to start sooner, but not right away...but then we'd end up with more winter birthdays - and his birthday, Christmas a week later, then V-Day and my birthday a week later is a real strain already. It's why I refused to consider a winter wedding. All personal holidays that I can control need to fall in the other 3/4 of the year!
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FEISTYKITTY
4/1/06 12:14 A
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| Cera: What do YOU want? You've said what FI wants and what mother wants, what about you?
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CERACOBBLER
3/31/06 9:01 P
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my fiance wants honeymoon babies. hes a bit older than i am and wants to have tots sooner than later.
my mommy also is wanting grandchildren.
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DANCER1007
3/31/06 7:41 P
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| not yet, definately one day...I want 3 kids, and possibly even to adopt my fiance wants two, and not to adopt ha sooo we have some issues about this, but I said we'd figure it out when the time comes. We've also discussed when to have children, we're young now he's gonna be 24, I'm gonna be 23. We're getting married in about a year...I'd like to wait 3-4 years...he wants to wait a lot longer than that....so thats another topic
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FEISTYKITTY
3/31/06 5:56 P
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None for me. I've just never wanted kids. My sister has two, so my parents are already grandparents.
In a way, I'm selfish. So many people say "but what about all the things you'll miss out on if you never have kids" and my response is "what about all the things I'll miss out on if I DO?"
Like being able to take off for a weekend anytime I feel like it. Being able to stay up all night on a weekend if I want. Being able to sleep in.
My FI also doesn't want kids. That has been the cause of many relationships failing for him, because not only does he feel strongly about it, but he feels strongly enough that he's already had a vasectomy. He had just about given up on finding someone who was right for him who also didn't want kids - then he met me!
I don't really know how to explain to people why I feel the way I do about having kids. I never had a "baby doll" that I played with and pretended it was my baby, I've never felt the maternal urges that other women seem to feel.
I figure that, at 32 now, my feelings probably aren't going to change. I had decided that if I still felt this way at 35, I was going to get my tubes tied. Now, I don't have to!
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HILLARYMVRE
3/31/06 4:15 P
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He should but he works too much and does to much "guy stuff" He's only 19 so can't do the bar scene yet. That's why I have to advertise for him
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| Awe! He is a cutie! I bet he has the girls swarming around him!
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HILLARYMVRE
3/31/06 3:23 P
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I agree about the only child being so loneyly. I would have pulled all my hair out by now if I had to deal with my parents alone. But my fiance was an only child, I cannot understand for the life of me why he wants to do that to his kid.
That's my little brother (my hero) in my pic with me. Isn't he cute girls?
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| My thinking is one child is so lonely. I grew up in a large family (last of 6). He is from a smaller (oldest of 3). Two would be good but I am going to try for 3.
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HILLARYMVRE
3/31/06 3:17 P
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I can't wait to have kids but we're really young and I'm just starting to go back to college, so I think we are going to have to wait a few years.
JOJO, it's exactly the same with my fiance and I. I want three. He wants one. I'm willing to comprimise with two.
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| We definitely want children the amount is where we disagree. I want 3 and he is saying 1. I told him, we could have twins! hahahaha!
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SCHEEL1430
3/31/06 3:03 P
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| david has a 3.5 y.o. from his first marriage. i too am ready to start a family and thought about having children right away until we started having noah around 2 days a week. i love love love having him around, he's a great kid. what i've realized is how much caring for a child changes your relationship. we still want children early in our marriage, but we are going to wait at least a year before trying. we want to get that first year under our belt before adding in more factors. plus, we can see and play with noah as often as we want. kids are so wonderful. good luck to you guys!!!
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I have a 7.5 year old little girl. He has no kids.
As soon as we get back from the honeymoon, my birth control is going in the garbage :) We plan to have 2 more kids together, making a total of 3 for me.
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HOTTIEWANNABE
3/31/06 2:27 P
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Do you have children or plan to after marriage?
I do not have any, but plan to in the near future. My mother has been a grandmother for a little over a year now, and thinks we should try to start a family right after the wedding. She hopes 9 months after the wedding a baby will be here. I think she may be a little disappointed.....
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