Oh, honey- go ahead and start!! All 3 of my older brothers had 6 month engagements, and so that's what I wanted too. Me and Josh talked about it, and decided that's what we wanted, but then changed our minds later, cause we wanted to go ahead and get engaged! Our engagement will be 11 months exactly, and I procrastinated at first. BAD IDEA. It may be quite awhile before your wedding, but don't be shy about getting things done. I didn't want vendors and family and friends to think I was jumping the gun on wedding planning. Now I'm so rushed and behind! Bottom line-- GO AHEAD AND START!!!!
WENDIASHTON 2/21/06 12:10 P
Here is my advice::
We knew we were getting married. We picked a date randomly and have only found one venue that was open on that day so far. Luckily, we decided to just do it in a church for free and hire a decorator for $600. Saves tons a money compared to the close to 2k for a venue around here. I can tell you, we started planning 6 months in advance, and we are paying for everything ourselves. Part of both of us wishes we would have waited until next year, but the other part does not want to wait that long to be married, so we are cramming it in what is now 4 months. If you are paying for it yourselves, I would say to give yourself more time than we did. Luckily , we both switched jobs recently, making a lot more money than we were, so we will be able to pay for it, but before, we were going to move back the honeymoon, and were worried about being able to pay for everything. But not only the money, the decisions. It takes time to decide what you both want and find vendors who will work with both of your wants/needs. I would start planning very early, setting a date soon. Also, another tip I got from a venue owner. We went there and she was booked on our date. Her suggestion was for other people that you should go to your favorite venue, see the dates they are available, and pick from that. Or pick a date you are both really set on and start on venues early. Also, weekdays are GREAT discounts. My wedding is June 24, what they call "they busy months" and it is a Saturday, so very busy.
KRYSTYL_ROSE 2/19/06 4:19 P
As a wedding consultant and a bride-to-be myself, I can tell you that time is relative. Nobody can tell you exactly how long you need to plan your wedding because they dont know your budget, your details, your location, your mind-set, etc. The only way a person could do that for you were if you gave them all of that information and they knew you WELL personally to know your personality.
Typically, you should allow 9 months or more for venues... you can book them and forget them until the six month mark if need be, but if youre set on a particular venue (or for that matter, vendor) then you should set them up as soon as you have a date.
The idea that having more time to plan lends to spending more money is only true if the person spending tends to allow themselves to indulge. I personally am taking almost a full 2 1/2 yrs to plan mine because I am my own coordinator and do not want to take away from my clients to plan my own properly. We are also paying for our entire wedding ourselves and so budget was a large factor for our alloted planning time. So I am taking the extra time to find the best deals I can for the places I want, and saving for the payments for things that arent immediate, as well as getting the early reservations for the date we set. If your Fiance wants to help you - take advantage of it! There are alot of fiances that DO want to help, but feel that they arent welcomed into the planning. It can be very advantageous to have your future husband helping because sometimes they can get better deals (because like it or not alot of vendors still feel they can "fleece" a woman, but wont try that with a man). There is no need to worry about stressing out, if you take the time you need and are willing to allocate duties youd be surprised how much fun it really CAN be. You said you havent ever heard a bride say it wasnt stressful... well there is truth to that, even the most organized bride will feel some stress, but whether it drags you down or whether you can thrive on it will make all the difference. Just keep in mind you have a team. The bride's mother will generally help plan happily, as will the maid/matron of honor, as well as the groom (as I said before) and of course if you still feel stressed you could look into a coordinator... people are generally most worried that the coordinator will be an added cost they cant afford, but youd be surprised.. alot of times they can save you enough in costs to pay their own Fee! Most important though, keep it a partnership with your fiance, ask his opinion even if he doesnt want to be a MAJOR part of the planning. After all... the wedding, though important, will only last a day... The marriage is what you want to last a lifetime. :)
KELLINA 2/19/06 1:07 P
If you wanna go for 6 months- try a Friday or Sunday! Saturdays will be booked- I can almost guarantee you that!!! We're doing a Friday and had 10 months to plan. No trouble finding anything so far!
Good luck!
ACSEVIER 2/18/06 12:26 A
I had a year and a half... way more time then needed, but we have had everything done for about 9 months and haven't had to stress.
I would say it depends on when you are thinking about it. If you are having it over the summer (the busy time of the year) I would say give it a year to plan. If it's the slow season, I would say 6 to 9 months is fine.
I am from a big city and with our year and a half notice there were some places that we went that already had our wedding date booked.
If you are doing an out of town wedding, I would say a year, especially if you plan on visitng the place that is out of state.
CDNGIRL06 2/17/06 10:47 P
We're taking about 12 months to plan ours, but as I'm Canadian and he's in Boston, we have to get a visa first, so everything is scheduled around the timelines for that.
HILLARYMVRE 2/17/06 3:36 P
I gave myself six months for a very informal wedding. I'm finding that to be a kind of time crunch! I didn't really even have to book anywhere since we are having it in my parents back yard. I wouldn't wait until July!
KRISTI07 2/17/06 1:57 P
I am nervous too! I have been hesitant to start planning w/o an official engagement. That is why I want him to ask soon, but i want him to do it in his own way. But the only thing I am really worried about is my dress and my bridesmaid dresses. I am in love w/ ONE dress, and I want it!!! So...I hope he gets on the ball so I can at least order it.
The other thing is this, we have a very small window of when we can get married, so it's not like we have all this flexibility. The first thing I am doing (like the next day!) once he proposes will be calling my church at home to see if its available. Sigh.....
CERACOBBLER 2/17/06 12:33 P
im having about 14 months to plan my wedding. for most things it seems like planning about 8 months in advance seems about right - just to make sure you are getting the vendors that are your first choice. i called a DJ and he said he never had anyone start planning *this* early. the only thing that i am nervous about is ordering my dress - the style that i like takes around 3-4 months to ship back.
BIELLE 2/17/06 12:17 P
My biggest thing was getting a date set. Due to reception site problems we had to change it, but that was the first step and the one with the most relief. I took a break after we set the date and reserved the site. That's the biggest stressor. We got engaged in July 2005, and getting married in June 2006. For me, we have taken too long, I feel like I put a lot of things off since we had time and now, 15 weeks away, I'm scrambling.
HOOCHIFYD 2/17/06 12:09 P
Thank you! I definitely knew I had to chill out... My fiance is pretty excited about the planning part, and wants to do it all with me. So it's good and bad... good because it means someone else to share the decisions with, but can be bad, since he has NO idea about the planning part, short of the few he's been a groomsman in. He blames me for stressing out and that the planning should be FUN, not stressful. I have yet to hear a bride tell me it was not a stressful endeavor!
MALKIN 2/17/06 12:00 P
We're planning our wedding in less than six months. So far, we haven't had any trouble whatsoever securing the locations or services we've desired. That being said, we're also pretty flexible.
I look at it this way- the longer one waits till one's wedding, the longer one has to stress out and find more ways to spend more money. Traditionally, engagements were no longer than six months, and I find the whole wedding industry these days crazy.
However, even if I haven't changed, the times have, and I'm sure that there are many hot places that requiring booking a year or more in advance. I say, if you're going to be doing most of the planning yourself (not him) and you'd feel more comfortable with more time to plan, then you should explain that to him and hope he understands. You need to do what's right for you, your relationship, and your wedding.
But like I said, personally I think the whole taking year+ to plan a wedding is one of the major reasons that the cost of an average wedding has increased 100% over the last 15 years (to more than $27,000) and I think that's a crock. It's just insane. But to each their own!
Good luck, and don't panic! It will be wonderful no matter what!
HITCHEDIN06 2/17/06 11:57 A
We took about 4 months after we got engaged before we set a date (much to everyone else's displeasure, they kept asking when when when!?) And then when we did set a date, it was a year out from that! I didn't start planning a single thing until then. The site & date dictates your dress (how formal it is, whether you have sleeves, etc.) so I wouldn't recommend even really doing a lot of looking for that until you know more. You can't set up caterer, flowers, baker, DJ/band, hotel blocks (for out of town guests), until you know a date either.
On the more positive side, things you CAN do... - Get your rings! (the price of gold & platinum are steadily going up) - Pick your bridesmaids/groomsmen! - Have an engagement party! - Think about what colors you want! - Make lists of things you're willing to spend money on and things that aren't as important to make those decisions later a little easier. - Make your guest list! (this may need to be pared back based on your site though, so keep that in mind) - Plan your ceremony! - Set a budget! - Save $$$$! (we're paying for everything ourselves so this is big on our list)
I will tell you that once we set a date, we were both HUGELY relieved. Like I said, everyone kept asking. When?! Ours is out of town for everyone, including us (4 hours away in the mtns) and I'm glad I had a full year to plan (now 6 months and counting!).
I would really recommend that if you're going to be planning from a distance in a short period of time that you consider a coordinator. I swear it's been the best money I've spent. The woman I hired lives in the area, knows the best (and worst) vendors to work with, and has handled so many of the logistics that would have stressed me out. And I know she'll ensure that everything goes smoothly the day-of so that my FI and I can relax and have fun.
No matter what, enjoy your engagement! We've had some disagreements through it, but it's also been a great bonding experience for us. Another thing to think about... ELOPE! LOL ;)
Cheers! Christina
HOOCHIFYD 2/17/06 7:22 A
I should also clarify that it may be an out-of-town wedding (my family is in Michigan, we're in DC, his family is in NY)... so I thought that might add to the need for more planning time...
HOOCHIFYD 2/17/06 7:17 A
So my fiance seems to think that we have until july to make up our mind about a wedding date. He said that you only need 6 months to plan a wedding, so not to freak out and start trying to plan everything right now.
I told him you COULD do it in six months, but a) it limits your options because a lot of dates/venues will have already been booked and b) it's more stressful and you have to get a lot more done in a short amount of time if you are doing everything within those last six months.
So can you ladies tell me if I need to chill out, or really start to think about where/when? My opinion was that the more time I had, the more time I could space things out... but is he right? Am I just jumping the gun?
