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BLUEISIS02
6/10/08 4:08 P
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| I totally understand where you are coming from CHYNADAHLL!!! I am in the same situation. I mean we have family in Florida and Ct. and I know that they won't go(most likely and we're kinda counting on it) but we do want them to know we'd like for them to be there anyway. My mother said that I should just send announcements so that they are made aware instead. Who knows what will happen. I have changed the guest list so many flippin times :).
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CHYNADAHLL
6/2/08 12:01 P
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| Ok... that's fine for people who are very far away and people who you and your fiance' deal with and talk to on a regular basis. I don't know these people, he barely knows these people so in "my" opinion... it makes no sense to send an invite. The only people I want to share our special day is people who are important to us like I said... just because someone is related by blood doesn't make them important. If someone hasn't been an active part of my life for the past 5 years either in person or by phone I don't see the point in inviting them to the biggest day of my life.
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CAITIE0424
5/31/08 7:52 A
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"We're inviting about ten people to our wedding who we know won't be coming due to long distances. We're inviting them because they are important to us. We're inviting them because it gives them that little reminder that, hey, we wish you could come and, if by slim chance you can, great! We're inviting them because it shows we care enough about them to do so. We want them to know we're getting married and when, even if they can't come. And, even if they can't come, they are very likely to give us a call sometime around the wedding, which would be wonderful. "
We are doing the same thing for the same reasons. My fiancee has family that lives in Israel who I have never met, but he used to be really close to them before they moved. We are 100% sure they will not be coming, but it is the gesture that counts. Of course we also know they will still send us a gift, but that is just a perk, not the reason!
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While I agree that you should not invite people you don't want to be there, I have to disagree on not inviting people who won't come solely on the basis that they won't come. We're inviting about ten people to our wedding who we know won't be coming due to long distances. We're inviting them because they are important to us. We're inviting them because it gives them that little reminder that, hey, we wish you could come and, if by slim chance you can, great! We're inviting them because it shows we care enough about them to do so. We want them to know we're getting married and when, even if they can't come. And, even if they can't come, they are very likely to give us a call sometime around the wedding, which would be wonderful.
And, seriously, if you can't shell out $2 and 2 minutes of your time to send them an invite, you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. Unless there are legitimate reasons to not invite them (distance is not a legitimate reason), then there's really no excuse. If distance is the sole reason to not invite them, you're being petty, rude, selfish, and inconsiderate. None of which are good qualities to have going into a marriage.
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STEELER74386
5/30/08 9:49 P
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| i dont blame u one bit for not wanting to invite certain people...i agree with you completely i most likely wont invite those two. and if anyone has anything to say a. ill put my foot down. well said chynadahll
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CHYNADAHLL
5/30/08 5:25 P
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I'm guessing I'm just plain RUDE! LOL I was told that as "courtesy" I need to invite people whether or not I want them there and whether or not I THINK they're going to come....
BULL!!!
His family lives in MD, DC, VA, and a few other states. He doesn't get along with alot of them so he pick and chose the ones he wanted to come. There were some in his list that he KNEW wouldn't fly out for the event but his mother said to send and invite anyway.....NOPEEEEEEE. Waste of money, waste of time and I REFUSE to send invites to people I KNOW aren't coming.
If there are people you DO NOT want to share YOUR special day with... (emphasis on YOUR) I'm sorry but I DO NOT feel you should invite them. There will be NO ONE on my guest list who isn't extremely important to myself, my fiance', or both. And YES I am a Christian lol
No one else will make those decisions for us because it's OUR day.
Just my 2 cents
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STEELER74386
5/30/08 3:42 P
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| i did with my mom she is cool with that.....with my ex friend thats another story.....
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MANDIETERRIER
5/30/08 3:14 P
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| I agree with Pirish, this girl sounds like she is bad news. Put your foot down.
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STEELER74386
5/30/08 6:08 A
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| Put your foot down and just say no. If she says things like "You're a Christian, you're supposed to forgive." just tell her that forgiveness only works for things already done, not things that may happen in the future and then tell her about all of these things she has a habit of doing around you. If that doesn't work, just say "She's not being invited. End of discussion." If you aren't firm about the decision, she'll run all over you. If you give her an inch, she'll take a mile so don't budge.
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STEELER74386
5/29/08 1:41 P
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| hi everyone.....having problems sorta on who to invite and who not to invite...i know that want to invite some of my fiances family. (its only a handful so that aint the problem). the problem with me is that i aint on speaking terms with a ex friend and my mom wants me to be all buddy buddy with her bc she suppsoidly tried to get in contact with me. (which is half true bc responded a few times in her ims, but never once receieved a email). my mom is trying to talk me into being all nice to her. EVEN THOUGH everytime she comes up to visit me she causes problems with me and my fiance. (gets us into fights, pulls down her pants in public, complains and whines about everything if her food aint right, if she doesnt like what she gets at the store,always go somewhere where majority of the time i am broke and i dont need anything). so its like my fiance cant stand her. i cant stand her bc she is loud, rude, ignorant, and obnoxious and doesnt act her age. and its like only time she bothers if she is causes problems with one of her other friends. i keep telling my mom that i dont like her, i dont want nothing to do with her. and shes like your a christian, ur supposed to forgive, blah blah blah ive been hurt way more times than u. w
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