My story began on March 27, 2007. That's when my doctor flat out told me that if I didn't drastically change my lifestyle, I'd likely be dead in less than ten years. Attached are two photos on "JohannahW's Page under the Spark Pages Section. The first pic was taken a few years ago. (I weighed about 205). I was wearing somewhere between size 20 and 22 (usually men's large size sweats with Large to X-tra large Tees. I didn't shave legs or armpits for something like 4 years toward the end. I just couldn't comfortable reach my legs and quite personally, I just didn't give a damn anymore. Even if I could have afforded "fine" fat clothes I doubt I would have worn them. I didn't feel feminine in least way at all. I ended up getting the shortest possible haircuts because I had no inclination to look any better than I did. I gave up wearing makeup, too. I looked slovenly and felt worse. My "fat" pic was taken with my daughter 6 or 7 years ago. After that, I never allowed another photo to be taken. I was so ashamed of how I looked. Still, that was not enough to get me "off the couch". I have bipolar disorder and the majority of my moods are severe to intense depressions. Sometimes I'd drink but most days I would just turn on the TV and try to concentrate on that. I also spent a lot of time wishing I was dead and thought a great deal about committing suicide. Really, if this was ALL life had to offer, why bother? The thing that really kept me hanging on by my fingernails was the knowledge of what my suicide would do to my two children (both adults now) and my dear, sweet, husband Jim.
Meanwhile the doctors kept switching around my medications. By March 2007, my weight was 198 and my waistline was 45 inches. Two years previous, I was diagnosed with severe type 2 diabetes which I ignored completely. I already had had breast cancer twice and I would find myself on my worst days praying that God would send it back. My diabetes was out of control yet I continued a diet high in carbs (I ate a lot out of cans - ravioli, canned spaghetti, and the like, not to mention high sugary rolls, donuts, cakes, etc.) So many times, if there was a cake or pie in the house I'd have that for breakfast and lunch. dinner would be 2 or 3 small cans of ravioli or spaghetti. The highest my blood sugar ever got was into the 400s. (Normal is between 70 and 140). I had high blood pressure. And high cholesterol. All this bad news really "got" to me I guess. Plus, by now my son and his wife had a son on the way. What kind of grandmother was I going to be to this brand new little boy? Anyway, I began to take small steps, and those, one at a time. March 27 2007 I quit smoking (using Welbutrin and the patch) but after 6 weeks or so on the drug, I flew headlong into a manic phase and it had to be discontinued. Again, they tried more drugs in different combinations. In April I committed to walking 3 days a week for 30 min at a time with a friend from church. Initially, I could barely make 20 minutes at a time. I started out at a leisurely pace -- maybe 2.5 to 3 mph. Just a casual walk. That would build up a sweat on its own.
In May I joined the American diabetes Association Forum online and began studying and learning how to manage my diabetes. Initially I started out testing my blood sugar (bs) 6 - 8 times a day. I would check fasting bs, and then 2 hours before and after each meal. I would test both before and after exercise and was astounded to learn that my bs could drop by as much as 15 points after 1/2 hr of exercise. Then I started to get excited about all this. I would experiment with carbs. For example I would eat oatmeal in morning for breakfast with a little Splenda on it. 2 hours later my bs had spiked by almost 200 points. I kept logs and food lists and avoided those foods that would make my blood sugar spike like that. That too took a while.
Slowly, eventually, with changes in food things started to get a little better. Of course by then, the diabetic meds were also working. The doc has said my cholesterol was was too high and told me to quit eating red meat altogether. We did. We switched completely over to using ground turkey or turkey breasts and eating various forms of fish when we could find it on sale. I scoured the Internet to find new and economical recipes that were diabetic friendly and found hundreds of ways to use turkey and chicken breasts in our meals without getting bored. Check out and maybe join thses yahoo groups: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Healthy_Recipes_For_Diabetic_Friends/
and : http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/WW-Recipes/
and for WW Crockpot meals: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/WWCrockpotRecipes/
All during this time I still felt like crap all the time but I did the best I could anyway. There were so many days that it was all I could do to just walk for 30 min and then collapse into bed for the rest of the day. Then at the beginning of June the doc started me on an anti depressant called Effexor XR (Believe me, I literally have been on everything else they've invented and nothing would pull me out of the deep and dark depressions. By around the 3rd week of June I woke up one morning NOT depressed -- NOT greeted by thoughts of death! I actually had some energy. I got up that morning and started cleaning the kitchen and actually made a somewhat healthy breakfast. 3 scrambled egg whites with chopped red and green peppers in it topped with a bit of hot salsa. Then I measured (yes measured) out 1 oz of shredded 2% cheddar (I have an old digital postal scale that works just fine -- you can even turn it on and place a small plate or bowl on it and then "zero it out" and then place the food you want to weigh in the dish)
It was around that same time I "accidently" found Flylady.net and I started her program at the beginning of July (My small apartment hadn't been cleaned in almost 3 years. Flylady set me on a plan to organize my life and work on the apt. a little at a time. I started out with just 15 min. a day working on some aspect of the apartment. It has worked. My apt is nearly always clean and ready should anyone drop in. It took me all of July to get it finished but by the time I was done, everything was done, every window, ever drawer and cupboard wiped out and organized, every closet cleaned and reorganized. I vacuumed twice a week. I also had a very short morning and evening routine (about 20 -30 min each) that I'd go through in the morning and evening before bed. That was a really big change for me. I finally had the energy to keep my little home clean.
Also, on June 23 I joined weight watchers with a friend mainly for the support I found there. I didn't follow their food plan, I stayed on my diabetic exchange diet. The doctor had limited me to 1350 calories a day. Not much granted but I got creative and found ways to cram as much food value with as few calories as possible into each meal. I was never hungry. Also in July, (by then I was walking 6 days a week for 30 min at a stretch. In July, I added an extra 1/2 hour of walking, usually in the evenings (there is a "fitness" center here in my apartment complex with all kinds of equipment including 3 brand new, programmable treadmills. I started at working on building strength, speed and stamina. My initial goal was to eventually walk for 30 min straight at 5.0 mph -- took me a couple of months but I eventually did it. Toward the end of Sept. I started jogging on the treadmill at a slow easy pace, 4.8 mph for 5 min and then walk for 5 etc. And still I was doing this 30 in the morning and 30 in the evening. By mid Nov, I had improved so much that I could run straight at 5.7 mph for 2 miles and then for the rest of that hour I would "power walk" at a 15% incline. I figured out my target heart rate zone: anywhere from 156 to 171 (that's after months of becoming fit) I workout at that rate now for an entire hour. My blood pressure is now below 110/70 and my cholesterol is much lower too (I'm no longer on meds for cholesterol, diabetes, or hi blood pressure) The doctor told me recently that my diabetes has been completely reversed.
The exercise is also SOOOO very important in helping to maintain stable mental health, at least in my case. I think sometimes that I stick with it so much simply because I've been mentally healthy for 9 months now. The longest time ever in my life. I'm going back to school to earn my degree in Computer Science. My life has changed so much.
I still have just a small ways to go yet. My goals for 2007 were to get healthy and get down to my goal weight of 145. Goal weight was met at the beginning of Dec. Right now (thank you Christmas!) I'm at 148 but back on my non-holiday eating schedule. I've set a new goal for myself and that is to reach 135 lbs by March 31. 2nd goal is to run/walk in a 1/2 marathon at the beginning of May. I'll reset up new goals to reach in June 2008.
Your story will be different from mine. That's okay. It wasn't easy for me and it won't be easy for you either. Follow the Nike slogan: JUST DO IT! Remember that I had days where even if nothing else got accomplished that day, I'd exercise anyway and then go lie in bed the rest of the day if I had to. Good luck and a good year to each and every one of you. JohannahW
Link to My Page: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=johannahw
