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| I have 3 kids 1 boy who joined the Air Force, and 2 daughters who both moved out on the same day with each other 2 years ago. My husband and I had a great time, but now we have his dad living with us, and some times that can be as bad as a kid. Oh well what can you do. Sooner or later your parents come back to live with you I guess. Darla
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LDWADDLES
6/25/05 10:16 P
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About eight years ago the last of my children moved out and I had quite smoking 14 years ago. I had too much time on my hands so I got 2 basset hounds. They are like children. Wrinkles died last year and now I have a rescue shih tzu and Waddles.
My two handicapped children come home at least one weekend a month. The other two children less often.
Our job as parents is to teach them how to survive in the world and take care of themselves and their leaving is just the cycle of life. That doesn't mean you stop loving them and worrying about them.
Cathy B
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My son, who lived 3 hours away, moved closer to me in January. He is now just an hour from me and I see them more often than before. But, I do not want to be a constant visitor as they have their lives to live without "mom" hanging around.
They just had a new baby boy and it is such a delight to see my grandkids, but again, I don't go to visit unless I am invited because I don't want to wear out my welcome.
They want me to move closer to them, but that is something that I cannot consider for now. I still work and I would not care to drive 40-50 miles to and from work every day......but it makes me feel loved that they would want me to be closer! That will be in the future.
My son very much likes to take care of things for me at my home and that also makes me feel good that he cares about his mom enough to make her life easier and better.
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| Hello all, I am new to this site and would like to share my feelings. I went through and read some of the other messages and felt I would like to add to them. I am an empty nester also plus a divorcee. It all happened the same time. I have 3 children and one adopted son. The thing is my children all live close by so I should see them often but don't. They all have their own lives and not much time to spend with Mom. But I do have my parents next door to me so that helps a lot. I really miss not having my children home where I can take care of them but they have their own families now and need to care for them. I do see my grandchildren quite often. As a matter of fact my oldest grandson just left to go home with his family. I guess as the years have gone by I have gotten use to my children being on their own and accept it. I do enjoy seeing them grow with their new families. They have learned a lot with their ages and have grown to be some pretty neat adults. I love them all dearly and look forward to seeing them when they have the time. I really think this was a good topic to start since I am sure a lot of people have some things to say about their families. Thank yop for your time and look forward to more conversations. Cindy
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Things do change and the pendulum swings back. My oldest graduated from college this year and has decided to go to grad school and live at home! I am not sure about this except that it will save her alot of money and she will get done with school sooner. If she had to get a place, she would have to work full time and go to school part time. It will be for one year at this point. She is engaged and tentatively getting married next summer. They have not started making plans yet. Having her live at home will be a challenge. Hopefully we can survive one year with our relationships intact or maybe even better.
Nancy
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| I fly into Portland fairly often. My daughter picks me up at the airport there and we head south toward the Roseburg area. Last time, though, we took time to go to the Rose Garden in Portland. What an amazingly beautiful place. How do they keep all those roses blooming all the time? My oldest granddaughter went to school in Vancouver, so I have enjoyed getting to see some of that city too. You live in one of the most beautiful areas of America. I keep wondering why I stay on the Texas Gulf Coast when I could move up there anytime and live with my daughter. Well, the answer is simple. Family. My Mom is 86 and going strong, my sister, sons, and small grandson are all here--and I can travel to see my daughter whenever I want. My husband worked for an airline and they rewarded his service by giving me lifetime passes. But I miss getting to spend more time with her. Hope you are having a wonderful day!
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AUNT_BEE_1945
6/11/05 3:16 A
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I live in WA.
about 45 -50 miles from Portland.
My childrens ages are 40 35 21 19
Aunt Bee
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| How interesting to read all of your posts about your family situations. I, too, am familiar with the empty nest thing, sort of. My husband died before my youngest son (now 40) was out of the house, so he hung on here for awhile. I was actually happy when he found work about 3 hours away. After 3 years, unfortunately, he became really sick, so he had to move back home to go to the dr. He is better and left just last week to return to his job. My daughter lives in Oregon, all the way across the country it seems, but, since she has been gone, we have become so close. She is my best friend. We talk everyday (I had to get the no limit on calls plan to afford it!). My oldest son moved home for about 6 months while he was going through a trying divorce. He lives nearby now, and calls me every day, comes over occasionally to have dinner or take me out to a movie. The older grandkids are graduating, starting to scatter. My youngest granddaughter just announced she is coming to live with me and go to school here for her teaching degree. Just about the time I think it is just me and my dogs, the kaleidescope shifts and I have a whole new reality. I guess this is what keeps me going. Can't wait to turn the next page and see what life serves up. So long as I can count on God being at the controls I think I can deal with it.
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| Great topic. I lost my job as my kids all moved out which really made me aware of the empty house. I have this goal to clean out closets and redecorate bedrooms and others. So far the past two years has flown and I haven't got it done yet...or gotten a job. I do miss my girls (my son is in town and stops for dinner endlessly). The girls are out of town and I just can't hear enough from them; they are in school. I find I am always looking to enlarge my friend base. It gets eroded by divorce, moves, and going back to work that eat up their free time. It is hard to find a good friend that has similar interests.
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CAMILLE1952
6/1/05 5:04 P
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| When my kids went away to college I was very sad. BUT...they came back...so my nest is full again plus one girlfriend! ha... But the oldest "bird" is getting married next year. Actually, my husband and I look forward to an empty nest--it is a little quieter. My husband's mom lives downstairs from us--so we are NEVER alone! and sometimes we need it! Camille
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AUNT_BEE_1945
5/28/05 3:22 P
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HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SPEND ALOT MORE TIME WITH MY CHILDREN WHICH HAS BEEN REALLY NICE.
HAVE A NEW FRIEND, HOPE THAT SHE AND I BECOME GOOD FRIENDS.
AUNT BEE
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AUNT_BEE_1945
5/12/05 9:24 P
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HAD A GREAT MOTHERS DAY,
HOPING THAT THE CHILDREN AND I WILL BE ABLE TO SPENT MORE TIME TO GATHER THIS COMMING YEAR! MOTHERS DAY TO MOTHERS DAY!
SPENT THE MOTHERSDAY WEEKEND WITH MY MICHELLE, MY SON AND OLDER DAUGHTER CALLED FROM CALIFORNIA, JEANNNA WENT CAMPING, ALL AND ALL IT WAS A WONDERFUL WEEKEND.
AUNT BEE
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AUNT_BEE_1945
5/9/05 9:19 P
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I am not sure that I am all that good, but my teacher put my painting in the gallery. My painting is child like, have alot to learn. Does give me pleasure, haven't painted for a few months. Been doing alot of sewing. I guess I should get outs the paints my art teacher is pushing for more paintings. She is afraid that I will stop and she is right.
Would be easy to stop.
Aunt Bee
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LINLOSEANDWIN
4/27/05 9:45 P
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Wow Aunt Bee! You have a painting hanging in a gallery! Congratulations girl!
Hope you're doing ok with the new meds.
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AUNT_BEE_1945
4/17/05 4:09 P
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Jeanna called me from her brother home, so she did get to visit with him also.
Keeping busy is truly the key.
Aunt Bee
My art teacher, emailed me said one of my paintings is in a gallory in Portland Org. Want me to do more painting.
I didn't feel like it for a while, so may not I can, after being sick for the first three months of the new year.
Still having breathing problems. Justing to new med.
Aunt Bee
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Everyone's advice is so good! I've had an empty nest for 4 years now and it certainly helps to stay busy, to find new interests, and to learn new things.
My husband and I have both started working out together and becoming fit again. We have a new lease on life and feel like honeymooners again.
It also helps to know that your kids are spreading their wings and putting down their own roots.
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AUNT_BEE_1945
4/16/05 1:18 A
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Hello girls,
My son called to day. Was nice talking to him and his wife. My jeanna is in CA, she visited her older sister and hopes to vist her brother.
Michelle visited her brother last week, was good for them all.
I have been keeping my sewing machine busy. Had fun making curtains for one of the bedrooms and for the kitchen.Took my cloth shower curtain and made a window curtain for the bathroom. Plan to buy another shower curtain for the shower. That way they will match.
Working a keeping busy.
Aunt Bee
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I've had an empty nest for a number of years now, my youngest being 30. So, now, at age 53 (soon to be 54) my husband (#2) and I are going to adopt a little boy from Russia. Go figure....
nanachron
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Our 2nd (and youngest) son just moved, yesterday, to his own apartment 3 hours away to start is first full time on Monday. He's been at our house for 4 months since finishing college and it's been great having the time with him. One one hand, I am going to miss him a lot but I also have pride at knowing that him becoming self sufficient caring adult is a sign that we've done our job well. 
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AUNT_BEE_1945
3/28/05 3:19 P
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Spent time with my girls, this last week. Was fun. But like to go home to my own bed.
Aunt Bee
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| Nancy, it does get easier over time.......I raised 4, but the last two were the hardest when they left because they moved out of town.......just keep yourself busy and find new interests to add a spark to your days.........
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I am been going through this adjustment. I am not lonely and feel that I have plenty to do and definitely have a life. I think for me it is more missing them and the daily contact with them. The oldest has been gone now for four years and has been working in a town two hours away. She comes home for short visits, but did not come home last summer. She graduates in May, but is going to grad school in the fall. The youngest is in her freshman year. She has been home quite a bit as she has a serious bf near home. It becomes an emotional roller coaster for me when they come and go. What doesn't help matters is that menopause hits at the same time your kids are flying the nest, so those emotional mood swings hit me pretty hard. Thanks for the topic. It helps to know how others are dealing with it.
NancyK
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AUNT_BEE_1945
3/22/05 2:16 A
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Hello there, I am doing ok, there are days of course.
Thank you for you caring words.
Aunt Bee
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Cathy
Though we love our children dearly, that's the point, they are not children but young adults now, spreading their wings in the real world.
It's you and your hubby's time to share each other a little more fully. Before long you maybe grandparents with youngsters under foot again!
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| I am dealing with this now too, my son is graduating high school this year and it saddens me more than I can say, he is such a great kid, never had a moments trouble with my kids (my daughter had already moved out, and doing great), so I get sad at thinking of him leaving. We are so family oriented, my husband coached him in basketball, and it seems everything revolved around the kids, so it is going to be quite an adjustment when he goes off to college, so its going to be another stumbling block, I'm sure we will do fine, I have a wonderful husband, and we'll just have to keep busy.
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| Aunt Bee.......there is nothing really to despair and lonliness comes when we allow ourselves to have thoughts that say we should be lonely.....yes, indeed, it is hard to experience the empty nest if we tell ourselves that life is unfair or that we should be lonely......if we have done a good job of raising our kids and send them out into their own life experience with the attitude that we have taught them how to fly.......then we can let go with love, knowing that they will return, even if only for a short time...........
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AUNT_BEE_1945
3/17/05 11:45 A
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You two give us all hope! that we can recover from feelings of despair. Lonelyness.
Aunt Bee
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I too have experienced the "empty" nest more than once.......the worst time I had was when my youngest son left to be a Marine, and was gone for 3 years and had one more to go! My husband passed away, and my youngest daughter left to go to college the following fall. In a matter of a few months, I was suddenly left completely on my own for the first time in my life. Then my son got out of the Marines, came home for several months and then left again.......
It has been 8 years now and I have come to realize that I am doing just fine! I enjoy my independence. I have weekend visitors every now and then and that is about all I care to have around. 2-3 days and I am ready for everyone to head back to their homes.
I am in the process of painting and doing some slight alterations to my house. Might decide to sell it in the next couple of years.......would love to move into a condo or townhouse with no yard work.
I come and go as I please with just the dogs and the cats to tend to......I have plenty to keep me busy and still work full time.........life is finally very good!!
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Hello Aunt Bee
Empty Nest Sybdrome
Hmm, I have been there a few times, as my daughter, moved in and out several times. This time I think it will be a permanent move. Since my daughter works graveyard shifts, I am already used to being on my own in the night and 90% of the day.
I have immediate plans for after the wedding and my daughter is on her own, since all of our family is not from here I will be having house guests for the first couple weeks.
Then as the last leave, I plan to paint my daughter's bedroom, move my sewing and craft stuff in there and then I plan to paint the rest of the place too.
I won't have to plan meals around her work days and will be free from the kitchen if I choose to be!
I am planning to teach home decor sewing classes during the fall and some back to basics cooking classes.
I maybe heading for an empty nest and being alone but I certainly don't plan on being lonely.
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AUNT_BEE_1945
3/16/05 2:22 P
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Having our children leave home is really hard on some of us.
If you would like to share, your feeling we are willing to listen. Will help if we can.
The word EMPTY really sink's in when the children leave home. What's a parent to do!
I am sure all of us have faced this question and have great answers.
One mite say it's time for us to get a life out side of the childern and family.
What about those that have the children return home for what ever reason.
Dealing with lonely ness!
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