I understand completely. Our daughter, Bonnie Blue, died almost a year ago (we buried her on her 26th birthday)and my solution? MORE DOUGHNUTS! Luckily, she left us her 3-year-old son to raise, so I could only wallow in self-pity for about 20 minutes. Now, I'm trying to get in shape so I'll be around through a lot of his life. My daughter, Melody, is a health nut and she helps a LOT! I guess the reason I didn't go for the gain-1200-pounds and have Richard Simmons and Maury Povich fight over who broke down the wall to get me out approach was concentrating on the people still alive who need me. Of course, my psychologist helps (once per month, I go and she tells me I'm sane and my family of origin is crazy), as does gardening and painting.So, no magic cure here, but I'm here in the trenches with you guys! Laurie
AUNT_BEE_1945 3/18/05 12:02 A
I have gone through some of the things you are talking about.
Keeping a good mentally attitude is harder than just talking about it! But it is doable! One day at a time. Can't think about to many day's ahead.
Sparkpeople gives us the tools, we just have to read and learn, then apply it to our lives.
Aunt Bee
CATHYL. 3/17/05 7:08 P
Amen, to that, food does comfort us, but only for a short time, then the stress on our minds and bodies set in, its hard when that is how you learn to deal with hardships, I have been reading Dr. Phil's book, hoping some of the things I can take to heart and learn from the mistakes I have made. I will be 50 this year and I am really struggling with hormones right now, I stay on my diet and I have been exercising 4 times a week, I just don't seem to be losing like I think I should, I'm so afraid I will give up again. I had done atkins and lost 25 lbs, then I hit a plateau, and didn't lose anything for 8 months, and of course I quit and gained it all back, same old story, anybody else facing menopause, and having trouble losing, any tips I would sure appreciate. thanks
AUNT_BEE_1945 3/17/05 11:52 A
Emotional eating, over loss of love one! Boy! The lord know's I have been there more than once.
I can't keep gaining a 100 pounds everytime someone special in my life dies!
We all have to heal to gather, with out the use of food to comfort us.
God Bless Us All
Aunt Bee
CATHYL. 3/16/05 9:13 P
The dwendling health and eventual death of my mom is the reason I have put on this weight. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I helped take care of my mom, every day, for 2 years, and to watch her decline was so hard, my dad was so scared, she was his life, so they both wanted me there all the time, I had my own family to take care of, still had a son in high school, so it was real tough, I was torn in all directions, sad when I wasn't with them, and then resenting them for the time away from my family. My son was playing basketball and we traveled to out of town games, and I felt so guilty, everytime I would leave, so afraid something might happen when I was gone. So I turned to food for comfort, and packed on 40 pounds in 2 years, and now it seems so hard to get it off. Even though I felt so stressed at the time of my moms illness, I feel good now knowing I did everything I could to help, and they did appreciate it so much, my sisters are having a harder time dealing with it, because they didn't take the time to help. I'm hoping with all the nice people in here I will reach my goal.
AUNT_BEE_1945 3/14/05 11:54 A
HELLO JUDY, EVERYONE
It is so hard dealing with, loss of love ones. As we age the realization that we are getting older and our day are numbered. So we must make the best of the life we have.
My mother died when I was 21, losing a family member, parents, children, spouce, is something we don't forget in our hearts, we feel that emptyness, from time to time.
When I first joined Sparkpeople, I was told that the love of my life, my younger children father had died, which I found out later that he had not. But I greaved for a full year, couldn't get my emotional life togather. So my first year at Spark people was spent with working at not falling apart. I had lost down to 303 from 401 ,went up to 365 have been yo yoing ever sence. I wish you peace, and restful sleep at night. Aunt Bee
OKANOG 3/13/05 7:53 P
To help in processing grief of a loved one, you could try:
Creating a photo album scrapbook, in memory of your lost one. Build a personal webpage in a Tribute to your loved one. You could plant a special plant/flower in memory You could toil in a garden that is very healing.
Your could accept life and death as it is and strive to do your best, as you know that is what they would have liked you to do.
The deaths in my family started earlier than most in life. I have lost thru death many aunts and uncles, both parents, both grandparents,a brother, a child, a husband and nurmous cousins. Some deaths were from various diseases and some were from accidents.
We don't know how long we have here so make every day special to you, maximize every minute of a day. Time heals the hurt, memmories last a life time....life goes on...... tightened your belt, here you come again world, you will be stronger for the experience.
ZEN1118 3/13/05 5:30 P
Hi,
How appropriate that I found your posting today. My Mother died New Year's Day of this year. Today was her birthday so I've been to the cemetery. I am very, very depressed and since she passed on I have not been motivated to work out or diet.
Just wanted to say hi.
Judy
AUNT_BEE_1945 2/23/05 12:55 P
Had a family member and a very dear friend die this year!
I want to be around to see my grandchildren that isn't born yer! If God is willing and I turn my health around to with a healthier life style, may be I will have a chance at a 105 and still be mentally healthy and fit enough to still get around! 2 pound down
2 pound down 
