As for the calories, are you eating nutrient dense foods? You want to make sure you are making nutritious choices rather than things filled with little to no nutrition.
If you haven't been eating the proper calorie amounts or getting the proper nutrients, your body is not used to getting that and your metabolism is likely slow because of that. So it is storing it at first because it is not used to being given the proper fuel for its needs. However, when you consistently eat at that range you change your metabolism and that is when the weight begins to settle into its healthy and ideal range for your body type. But that will only happen for you if you are consistent and not focusing on the scale or weight gain but on the calorie intake.
Know that you are taking a step in the right direction and it will take some time, but you can do this!
The best way for you to move forward is to: 1) Begin eating 6 small meals/snacks each day each consisting of 300-350 calories. 2) Focus on nutrition at each meal/snack - whole grains, fruits, veggies, low fat dairy, lean meats/nuts/beans. 3) Make sure each meal and snack is a healthy balance of protein sources (lean meats/beans/nuts and low fat dairy) and carbohydrates (fruits, veggies and whole grains). 4) Save the "junk" like fried foods and sweets like soda, pies, cakes, cookies, candy and cake for the special occasions of life. 5) Make sure you are active daily for at least 30 minutes if possible and include strength training several times a week to tone and shape your body.
This plan will allow you to have the nutrients you need for growth and development and will help you have energy for life, will improve your outlook on things and will help your find your bodies best weight and shape.
I really dunno if I can EVER be comfortable with me.. I skipped soccer practice today because my back is KILLING me and I'm feeling tired {the flu is going around, I think I'm getting it} and now I feel ultimately guilty And this whole 1800-2000 cals a day seems to have made me gain a bit I'm really freaking depressed about this It's like this whole exercise thing is a neverending horror story WHY can't I be motivated to do things even when I don't wanna DO it! And worse off, I made a deal with myself to talk to the track team coach to join I looked for her for like a second and made an excuse to myself to give up and 'do it tomorrow' like I ALWAYS SAY and NEVER do I'm so hopeless... I really am my own WORST enemy..
