ok, well this is hard to explain, and I can't anyway, though I wish I could... I have to leave the site due to some things that have happened in my family. I have really enjoyed this site and I want to thank both of you coaches and all the others on this site who have helped me so much...
I truly feel like these healthy habits that I've been learning this whole time are not going to leave me even when I don't have the support of this site anymore. You all are sooo amazing! And I love the support! I wish I didn't have to leave! :( But I can't change that... :( Maybe someday I'll be able to get back on here and tell everyone my success story!! :)
ok, so I guess I AM a LITTLE scared that I will fall back into my old habits, but I seriously hope not! I hope I will be able to stay strong and keep up all the healthy habits I've developed while here! But without the support, it will be hard! :(
So I feel sad already... I'm not sure exactly when I'll have to go, but it will be soon... And BTW, it is by no means anyone's fault. So don't get me wrong! I have enjoyed meeting everyone here! So good luck to you all! I hope everyone safely reaches their goals! And one day when I am a dietician, I will have you all to thank for making such a big difference in my life! Thanks to all!!! xo, Wynne
COACH_TANYA 1/31/08 7:59 P
I'm sorry that you don't have the support at home that you need to make healthy choices but NOT eating is not a healthy choice and is not going to lead to achieving a healthy weight and fit body. Your SPark plan WILL if you stick with it.
Try using a journal to write about your feelings when your brother says those things to you. Go to your room and write down how you feel and get it out. There is great power in being "heard" even if it is only you hearing it. Take back your power and take charge.
Coach Tanya
ME4GOD 1/31/08 4:40 P
That is easier said than done! I got an hour of exercise today... we ran like four laps around the gym and I think I pushed myself too hard, because I almost blacked out... That would have been so embarrassing!
I have been trying to not let my brother get to me, but every time he sees me eating, he's like "Do you really NEED that, fattie?" I promise, those are his exact words, but at least I haven't cried yet, so he hasn't gotten to make fun of me for that! :)
Wow! It sounds like I have such a rough life, it's not really, it is just worse right now than it usually is...
XLXRENEEXLX 1/31/08 4:19 P
Like she said, your body needs to get out of starvation mode, before anything. Since you're eating right, you will gain some weight. But as long as you stick to eating right, and keep exercising, than you will start to lose weight again.
ME4GOD 1/31/08 11:21 A
thanks. I am grateful that today is better. :) I have gotten 1800 calories everyday so far since Monday. Yesterday I even exercised! :) WHOOHOO! I haven't done that for awhile, so I consider that good even though it was only for 35 minutes... I didn't weigh today for the first time, which is absolutely killing me!! I have gained at least 2 pounds since I started eating right. So now that I am doing it right, how do I get to losing again? Please help me. I feel like I'm going in the wrong direction! Do you know how much easier it would be to just listen to my family (mom and brother) and go back to eating less?? AHHH! I want to do it so bad! Please tell me how to lose weight if I HAVE to eat this much!
XLXRENEEXLX 1/29/08 7:26 P
Don't let them get to you. Pull through, and prove them wrong. Do something like write in a journal, or take a walk to relieve your stress. Because if you let them push you around, than you will give up. Just make sure you drink as much water as possible, and get within your calorie goal. Good luck.
ME4GOD 1/29/08 1:00 P
ok, I am trying... on the other hand, it feels like my whole family is against me today. I think I have cried almost constantly today. My brother is within 15 pounds of his goal weight, and that has made him really cocky and so all day he has been calling me fattie and jerk and any other mean thing he can think of. And then Mom has been really crabby and yelling at everyone and when I say anything to her she and my little bro jump on me and say that I am being extremely crabby today, and so then I start crying and then they make fun of me, and on and on the cycle goes. I don't know what to do... Please pray for me guys, I am just so discouraged right now.
COACH_TANYA 1/29/08 11:58 A
Yep you will likely gain a pound but that doesn't mean it is fat. I encourage you to NOT to weigh yourself every day. This only adds to your anxiety and since it doesn't give you a true picture of weight loss or gain it isn't necessary. On any given day you will be slightly higher or lower then the day before but this is more related to overall hydration status and many other things and not about true weight loss or gain from day to day. So, stop weighing yourself. If you weight yourself once a week that is plenty and would be a great goal to add to your spark plan.
Weight is lost or gained because of a deficit or excess of 3500 calories. However it isn't as simple as eating 500 calories and burning 4000 and then figuring you will lose weight. The metabolic process doesn't work like that. The first premise of weight loss is that you have to provide your body with it's recommended nutrient needs FIRST before it can even think about giving up its fat reserves which is its energy base.
SOOOOO - GREAT JOB meeting your estimated needs!!
Keep up the great work and keep meeting this basic need while working for what your specific plan recommneds.
Don't weigh yourself until next week, keep focusing on the daily goals and working towards a healthier view of yourself and what you are doing.
Coach
ME4GOD 1/28/08 8:23 P
ok, so I am a strange mixture of happy and disgusted right now. I ate 1850 calories today, so I know that I finally did good, but also I just know that tomorrow I will probably wake up a pound or more heavier. And I probably will because I have not exercised today... Uggh. I need encouragement right now. Because I am not doing too well. :( I feel so fat and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it.
COACH_TANYA 1/28/08 2:54 P
It doesn't make your mom look bad at all - it is the diet mentality of our country and it is making us have a weight problem much more then it is helping people.
Your mom is a product of being told to eat little or nothing to control their weight. Maybe someday she will decide to look at more of Spark then just the e-mails maybe even reading the articles that are linked to the e-mails which would reinforce all that we have been sharing here.
It isn't up to you to change her but you can decide not to follow that same path. You will have a much easier time controlling your weight throughout your entire life if you never restrict your eating and are making nutritious choices, avoiding empty calories that don't provide nutrients and are active.
Coach
ME4GOD 1/28/08 10:02 A
I know, she doesn't and it doesn't help that whenever I try to tell her anything, even if I'm just asking for her opinion, she gets upset and tells me that I don't know it all. I know that I don't know it all, but she doesn't either.
She already is a member of SparkPeople, but she only looks at the emails that come, and she thinks the rest is dumb, especially the pages and msg boards.
I am trying to get up to 1800, but it is hard. I now have something to work towards though, because I just found out that one of my bf is GETTING married in September!!!! I am SO EXCITED!!! I want to be at my goal by then! This is so cool! But anyway, I will go eat something now! :)
Oh, yeah, I don't think that reading that would help her, because she already has a closed mind, and believe me, when she has her mind made up, it takes alot to change it, and generally she won't believe things especially off the internet... So I will just do this on my own.
I know that what I wrote makes my mom look horrible, but she really isn't, I just don't know how else to put it, to still be telling the truth, but not to make my mom look bad... :(
COACH_TANYA 1/28/08 8:03 A
It sounds like your mother doesn't understand about Teens needs for growth and development and about starvation mode.
I would suggest two things as well:
1) Suggest your mother join Spark People so that she can learn about healthy eating for a healthy weight along with you.
2) Sit down with her and review the Teen Nutrition Guide with her so that she understands what is important for teens.
You are still not eating enough and are in starvation mode and you need to eat more if your body is going to get out of starvation mode. You need to educate your mother so that she can support you and likely help herself get out of a dieting lifestyle as well.
Coach Tanya
ME4GOD 1/25/08 7:16 P
Ok, thanks! Yesterday I ate 1400 calories and today I've got around 1250, but I plan on eating a little snack before bed. I am going to go exercise right now! :) So I think I'm doing good. When I told Mom that I ate 1400 yesterday, she told me that I would never loose weight if I ate that much and I tried to explain it to her everything that you and dad said, but she would not listen to me, so I just ignored her and decided not to tell her how many calories I have any more. Is that alright? I do not want to be disrespectful to her, or keep a secret from her, but is it so wrong not to tell her how much I eat? I mean, if she asks I will tell her the truth, but I think I just won't tell her if she doesn't ask, ok?
COACH_TANYA 1/25/08 11:25 A
There may be something to it and it certainly doesn't hurt to vary the temperature of the water you drink. The key is that you are drinking 8 cups of water or more each day. I think there is likely more to that members experience and weight loss then just the temperature of the water but if it helps you drink the water - go for it.
Coach Tanya
ME4GOD 1/24/08 3:25 P
Hey I've got a question for you, Coach. Umm, Under the message board "Celebrate Success" there is a thread called "Water works - Not just a FIGURE of speech" and I want to know if that is true. B/c I have never gained weight from drinking water. And I don't see how heating it up will help you lose weight either. So tell me if this is actually PROVEN to work or someone just put that and didn't know the facts.
ME4GOD 1/23/08 9:13 P
Ok, I just went and ate a 100 calorie snack pack of dried fruit so I am glad I did that. I will seriously try everything you wrote. I know that my brain is starved. Today is the first time I felt it. And I am still getting my good grades in school, but I know that that won't last forever so I decided that I had better count tomorrow to make sure I eat enough. Maybe I'll even have my dad double check every thing to see if I'm eating right. And I will do some cardio tomorrow on top of my strength training. I actually am not depressed any more, but I am scared right now because I did not realize that I was eating so few calories. Thank you guys for caring. I know that my parents do too, but I think that my mom don't want to admit that I am not being healthy. So that makes it harder. :(
COACH_TANYA 1/23/08 8:48 P
I think that you are unfortunately an example of what happens when you don't eat enough. I don't mean that in a negative way but in a reality way. Your brain is starving for energy to function and so your perception is off as well as your mood. You need energy (at least 1800 or more) for your body to function and this includes your brain. Your mood and depression and feelings of a lack of control likely stem from a starving brain.
Control means to exercise authoritative or dominating influence over or to direct. You can choose to have negative authority or positive authority and dominating influence over your body, mind and spirit by the choices that you make. Having a healhty and well functioning mind is far more important and will take you farther then any number on a scale. Your brain needs energy to function properly and to allow you to be at your best.
Please review the Teen Nutrition Guide WITH your parents so they are on board with healthy eating. Begin to make sure you are eating a breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner that are at least 400 -500 calories EACH. Use the goals that you have established here on spark to help you get started with a positive control on your health instead of negative one.
I can almost guarentee that when you feed your brain and body what they need, you will not only be amazed out how much better you feel but also how much happier you will be as well.
Coach Tanya
XLXRENEEXLX 1/23/08 8:46 P
You need to eat way more than 800 calories a day. That's probably why you're gaining weight. Because when you don't eat anything all day, when you finally do eat you gain like twice as many calories.
XLXRENEEXLX 1/23/08 8:44 P
Maybe the pound you gained is muscle? Muscle does weigh more than fat. But don't be discouraged, the more you stress, the worse it will be. Try and change things around a bit, like your workouts & stuff. If you do the same thing all the time, you'll be sure to get bored. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. =]
ME4GOD 1/23/08 7:07 P
I wasn't planning on counting calories today, but I was curious and so I did just now. Um, I was sort of surprised b/c I felt like I pigged out today and I know I ate more than I have for several weeks. This really scares me and I don't know if I want to write this down, but I ate at the most 800 calories. I feel like crying! Do I have to count to be healthy? I KNOW that that is not enough calories, you don't have to tell me. It's just that I never thought I would get to this point! What do I do? I am no way going to admit that I am anorexic at all, b/c I know I'm not! But it really scares me b/c the last couple days I really felt like I was finally in control of my life. I've never felt that way before. And then today I felt totally out of control, like I ate 3000 or more calories. I was just sure I had ate more than I was supposed to, and so I counted and what did I get? 800? And I'm sorry to say this but that was stretching it a little. Please help me, b/c I really don't want to go down that road.
ME4GOD 1/23/08 6:50 P
sorry, I asked dad again today, and he told me that I need to eat 1800 and exercise plenty. Also, he recently got me some multi-vitamins to take and has been giving me vitamin C. So is that good? I guess it was my mom who said that I wouldn't lose weight and she isn't a doctor. I guess I just thought that he agreed with her b/c he didn't say anything. Also, he is not a pediatrician, he's an anesthesiologist, but my uncle is a family doctor and they are fairly close.
COACH_TANYA 1/23/08 12:23 P
If your dad is a pediatritian then I would be surprised by his recommendation. If he is a different specialty then more then likely he is not current with recommendations regarding teens versus adults since his continuing ed is likely in his specialty.
First off, stop thinking about this as a diet. A diet is something you go on and then go off. Spark is about a lifestyle change. It sounds like you already have some pretty good lifestyle habits. Use the Spark points and the goals you set to help you work to achieve and then set new goals for yourself.
If you are working out for an hour then you need more then 1800 calories. Your Spark plan was calculated based on the personal information that you included when you set up your program. Look at the bottom of the MY NUTRITION section of the page to see your specific energy needs each day. Also, look at your BMI - if it is already at a healthy 18 or so, then your body likely isn't going to readily lose weight because it is already at a healthy weight. If you have a few pounds to lose then it is a balancing act of making sure you get enough energy and nutrients compared to what you are burning. If you are burning more then you are eating then you body will not lose weight but hold on to the energy from the foods you eat because of starvation mode.
I encourage you to review the Teen Nutrition guide linked on your start page and begin to look at your daily goals and how you are achieving them. Also, stop weighing yourself regularly. Our bodeis go through gains and losses due to water weight especially around that time of the month - so gaining 2-2 pounds could be nothing more then typical water weight gain and not gain of fat reserves.
Yes, you need to follow the guidelines for teens. While you may have reached puberty earlier then others, you don't fully mature and develop in all your organ systems and bones until your early 20's. You are building bone matrix now that you will have to rely on when you are 80. You want to build the strongest bones now so that you can prevent osteoporosis when you are older. Women in their 30-50 don't gain more bone only prevent or stabilize loss so NOW is the time to build the healthiest bones possible for a lifetime of strength and good health and that takes not only calcium, vitamin D and other nutrients but also energy and protein for the body to build. This is why teen needs are higher then adults who are no longer building muscle and bones matrix.
Coach Tanya
ME4GOD 1/23/08 9:30 A
ok, so I am really confused. My parents said that if I ate 1800 cal in a day, I would never lose weight. And my dad is a doctor. So if it unhealthy why are they encouraging me to do it? Um, does it make a difference if I haven't grown for over three years? I hit puberty at 9 years old, so I was always early. Does that mean that it is alright for me to eat like an adult since my body is one already? Now, I know that I'm not mentally, but since my body is already there, is it alright if I do like an adult? Just a question.
But on the other hand, I've lost 4.5 lbs since Saturday! YAY! And no, I have not eaten sweets of ANY kind since I've been on this diet, so I know that that wasn't why I didn't lose weight. And I don't think I am losing muscle, b/c every Tues & Thur we do a strength training class that works all your muscle groups. I use 13 pounds, but I am thinking about upping it alittle, b/c I've used that for almost a month now. :)
By the way, my parents have never allowed us to have pop except for very special occassions, for which I'm glad of now. :) I mostly drink skim milk at meals and water in between. :)
COACH_DENISE 1/22/08 2:23 P
That's okay. There is so much information out there and most of it is for adults and it is hard for teens to know that.
There could be any number of reasons. Your body was most likely starving at that point since 1400 isn't enough for a teen. You most likely lost some muscle at that point, which is not something you want to do. Also, when you were eating 1800 calories, were they nutritious calories or empty calories? And for how long?
You actually slow your metabolism a great deal when you don't eat enough calories for growth and development as well as typical daily functions like your heat beating, your lung expanding, muscles contracting etc. As you start to eat nutritious calories at the recommended level, your metabolism speeds up and becomes more efficient and that is how you begin to easily lose weight AND grow and develop at the same time.
The key is to eat smaller meals and snacks more frequently. This gets the metabolism working most efficiently, gets the calories and most importantly the nutrients in and after about a week, you start to feel hunger pangs every few hours.
The best way for you to do this in a healthy way: 1) Begin eating 6 small meals/snacks each day each consisting of 300-350 calories. 2) Focus on nutrition at each meal/snack - whole grains, fruits, veggies, low fat dairy, lean meats/nuts/beans. 3) Make sure each meal and snack is a healthy balance of protein sources (lean meats/beans/nuts and low fat dairy) and carbohydrates (fruits, veggies and whole grains). 4) Save the "junk" like fried foods and sweets like soda, pies, cakes, cookies, candy and cake for the special occasions of life. 5) Make sure you are active daily for at least 30 minutes if possible and include strength training several times a week to tone and shape your body.
This plan will allow you to have the nutrients you need for growth and development and will help you have energy for life, will improve your outlook on things and will help your find your bodies best weight and shape.
Hope this helps!
Coach Denise
ME4GOD 1/22/08 1:26 P
I didn't know that, sorry. I have a question though, how come I couldn't lose weight when I ate 1800 cal in a day, but then when I would eat 1400 I would? (I used to count calories, but stopped a couple wks ago because it was too much work) And when I was eating 1800 a day, I was also exercising at least an hour every day and still not losing? I want to be healthy and do this the right way, but now that I am finally losing weight, I don't want to stop and gain it all back!
COACH_DENISE 1/22/08 12:29 P
Those machines are not for teens and are based on adult scales and recommendations, so they should not be followed by teens.
ME4GOD 1/19/08 9:27 P
Ok, I know I'm eating enough although I am not counting my calories. But first of all, at the YMCA they have a machine that you enter your age, weight, height, etc. into and then you attach it to your hand and foot and it tells you your BMI and how many calories you need to eat to maintain your weight. Mine was 1800 something, and they recommended to take 250 off that to lose weight, so obviously I am fine with less than 1800 calories! :) Don't worry, if anything I eat too much because I gained weight!
COACH_DENISE 1/18/08 10:15 P
Are you eating within your calorie range? If you are eating less than 1800 calories a day, you are slowing your metabolism and causing other problems which include working against your efforts for weight loss.
Don't beat yourself up, you are human and you are trying to change your habits and make them healthy habits. It takes time to do this - it doesn't happen overnight.
ME4GOD 1/18/08 9:57 P
Thanks... I'm doing a little better now, I think I needed to get away and stop thinking about it for a while, but actually I gained 2 or 3 pounds this week I'm not sure exactly how many. I still feel pretty blah, but I'm just glad I'm not as down as I was. I hate 'depression' or whatever it is... The dark feeling is more than I can handle. I am a little mad at myself right now, I weigh in tomorrow and I am going to have gained weight! That is horrible and embarrassing! I didn't even feel like I ate that much! What is wrong with me? Others eat twice as much as I do and still lose weight! Do any of you have this problem??
NATANKAWESCH 1/17/08 9:03 P
Whoa... think about what you just said - you've been losing weight, but gained a pound - one measly pound! For all you know, that could be an error on the scale. Don't let a minor setback get you down - you are obviously devoted to getting a healthy lifestyle - just keep it up and that one tiny pound will disappear in no time! Also, if you are feeling depressed in general, maybe you just need to relax a bit, spend time with friends, and do something you really love - you'll be back to your normal self in no time!
DAISYJOY23 1/17/08 1:40 P
There's a bunch of exercises on here that are good. And I don't know if you get the FitTV channel, but they have amazing workouts to do, and they're always different everyday. Other than that, there's all sorts of exercise videos that are fun that you can buy cheap or rent at blockbuster or something.
What I mean by turning depression into motivation, if you start to get depressed, think about how you felt this time, and how you don't want to feel that way again. That will give you the motivation to fight the depression because you'll know that being depressed is a miserable feeling. I don't know if the way I worded it makes sense, but hopefully it does, haha. depression is a hard thing to deal with, but there are usually ways to prevent it. In addition to eating healthily and exercising, try talking to someone about how you're feeling. If you keep it all in, you'll just get more depressed and feel like you have no one.
I know how it feels to lose motivation, so you basically just have to think about what was motivating you in the first place and get that mindset again.
Hopefully this makes sense and helps :-)
ME4GOD 1/17/08 1:12 P
ok, thanks i'll try that and add you... But where do I find new exercises? And I eat different foods everyday, so I don't think it's the food. Um, one question, how do I turn depression into motivation? :S this is basically the first time in my life that I've ever been depressed. :( And I DEFINITELY don't want to get this way again...
DAISYJOY23 1/17/08 12:57 P
Gaining a pound is not a big deal, so don't stress about it. It seems as if you're just bored with your plan. Maybe try and switch it up a bit. Do different exercises, or try a new exercise video. Change up your meal plan also. It's very easy to get bored with doing the same types of things over and over. Also, turn your depression into motivation. Whenever you start to feel down, exercise or eat an apple and think about the good things you are doing for your body. Just don't give up! I'm rooting for you, along with everyone else here! You can do this! It just takes a little time. You can message me if you want to talk, or add me to your friends and we can motivate each other. :-)
ME4GOD 1/17/08 10:41 A
Hey. I have never been so truly depressed like this before. I am normally a very happy, laid-back person :( but I am bored on this site already... I mean, I love it so much, and it really helped me the first several weeks, but now I feel like everyone is ignoring me. And I know that no one is doing that. Well, idk how much longer I'll stay on here... I don't want this to end! I hate looking at all the old pages of people who haven't been on here since October and have given up on weight loss. I also just gained a pound! How could I? With how hard I've worked? This isn't working! Help me! What do I do to reverse this? If anyone has any ideas, let me know... thanks. ~Wynne
