I went to my first therapy session last summer when I was knee deep in an eating disorder. I cried before I went, during the session, and after as I ran 5 miles on the treadmill. I never wanted to go back but my mom kept bringing me and it actually really does help. After a few months I stopped seeing her, and I still haven't relapsed. Goodluck, if you need advice just ask.
OXMANDAJOYXO 4/7/08 3:48 P
I had my first real counseling session today and I have to be honest...it was awkward. I mean, I was great with eye contact when she was talking but awful when I had to talk. I'm not saying it was negative..I just suddenly felt like I was there for no reason...but wait, I know I'm there for a reason..I just didn't know what to say, so I just answered the questions to the best of my ability. For some reason afterwards I wanted to cry. I even had a sudden urge to eat a lot. I felt loney and like I wasn't normal. I didn't binge. I'm NOT going to binge. I just don't know if I'm going back...I set up an appointment for the next available time slot, which is the week after next so i have plenty of time to think about it. Tomorrow I meet with a woman from this group called "mindful eating'. i don't think the group setting sounds like my kind of thing, but who knows...i didn't consider until now that maybe that's a place where i could make a FRIEND. because pathetic as it sounds, i don't have any here. i am quiet and often cut myself off from the rest of the world. i see people with their friends and i get bitter because i envy them. they're so laid back...i feel really awkward.
i think it might be because i've moved around a lot in my life...i never really learned how to act normal with people...to get along, make conversation. i don't know...i have so much going for me in life, and yet at times like these i get so caught up in feeling alone and slightly messed up.
i'm done now. please feel free to make a comment. i just feel like i'm gonna go crazy. i'm gonna update tomorrow on if i decide to do the "mindful eating' thing.
