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I may have a little competition going with my cousin. She's 17, too, and we both used to be overweight. I thought I was looking great and then I went to a family function over Christmas '07 and I saw her and she lost a lot of weight-- more than I lost (Weight Watchers?) I'm not saying that that's what's fueling my wanting to do this, but it does cross my mind every once in a while. 
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9INTHEAFTERNOON
4/8/08 11:04 P
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| yep, I've got that little green monster. My best friend and I seem to be you and your sister. Like, when she gains weight I feel better about my body because idk I don't want to be the fat one ya know? And sometimes, she will ask if somethign is good or bad and I'll tell her the opposite in hopes of her gaining more weight. I feel like a terrible friend :\
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AJSGONNALOSEIT
4/8/08 2:23 P
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Oh God I have that same feeling. I feel so evil and wicked just sitting there thinking those thoughts. My sister is much thinner than me. She was complaining about herself gaining a couple of pounds over the months and I couldn't help but to feel a sense of relief. I want so bad to like be smaller than her. It's kind of like some terrible feeling came over me and I entertained the thoughts daily. Then I had to get a handle over myself because I knew that was wrong way to go. I always felt so guilty, because I just think she always gets more attention than me sometimes, and for some awkward reason I thought it had to do with her size. She always has been the small one, the pretty one, and I kind of just sit in the back and feel like nothing...
But I completely regret feeling that way...
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MSPRISS151
4/8/08 12:52 P
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| I agree with you. My best friend is my height but about three sizes smaller! Sometimes I wish she could be fatter than me even though I love her and want her to feel good AND look good. It's just I'm kinda sick of people saying, "Yeah PAtricia's "chubby" friend!" I feel bad but I dont really know what to do about it.
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OXMANDAJOYXO
4/8/08 9:21 A
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| yeah i mean i've been losing weight in the past several months and i feel like i'm finally out of the shadows that i was always in next to my sister...i feel like saying 'can you just let me stay on top for a while'...which is silly, i guess and pretty stupid, but its the truth.
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ZACH_CARLSON
4/8/08 8:32 A
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| Yea there is this guy who is dating my ex-girlfriend, it makes me feel better that he is overweight, and I wouldn't want him to lose weight. I know this is bad, but it is how I feel, it shouldn't be a competition like that, but thats sometimes how it feels. A little envious monster inside me.
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| I know how you feel. My best friend is about my height and my weight. I want so badly to be skinnier than her, and not for her to lose weight because I want to be better at her at yet another thing, but then I feel guilty for wanting that because I want her to be healthy, so I've got mixed feelings. I think it's natural to think of it as a competition, survival of the fittest, we just have to learn to teach ourselves not to think this way.
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OXMANDAJOYXO
4/6/08 7:01 P
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My sister is 2 1/2 years younger than me. She is taller and has always weighed less...I was always in the background, quiet and not nearly as outgoing...unconfident, self-loathing, jealous..all those nasty things that make a person miserable.
Finally, I am feeling great about the weight I've lost. But the most immature thoughts cross my mind lately...like not wanting her to lose weight or anything because for once i want to stay on top. THERE IS NO ON TOP. what a strange and awful way to view this...it's not a competition. Do any of the rest of you have this little monster inside you that secretly wants to make sure that a certain person doesn't weigh less than you?
ha vent over. everything will be fine i know. i just feel really bad for thinking these things!
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