Yes, but Men Lose It Easier
I am declaring war on a six-word sentence.
You may know by now that I started my weight loss journey on December 28th, 2009 with a goal of losing 60 pounds. I managed to lose 100 and I did it within one calendar year. I lost that weight by fueling my body with the rights foods and working hard-- very hard.
I’d like to share with you a phrase that I’ve heard during my journey: ''Yes, but men lose it easier.'' Although this phrase is only six words long, it can have a much more disastrous effect than it might seem. Have you ever heard these words while on your journey? Have you ever used those words to another person on a weight loss journey?
This phrase can be used as encouragement for some. For others it is used as an accusation, as a means of denial, as a crutch. It is the epitome of the double-edged sword. These words can cut like a knife, no question about it. I am certain that people who have uttered these words either to me or to another individual did NOT mean them in a harmful way. When a man is working hard and doing all things right and is finding success with his journey, why are folks so quick to knock his success with the phrase, ''Yes, but men lose it easier''? It is a complaint really, isn’t it? It isn't usually said in praise. Here is the deal: this phrase is hurtful. It can deflate all the sense of accomplishment that a man feels for the work that he has done. This phrase says that his work doesn’t count, that his struggles don't count. Chances are, that man will not give a complete picture of what he is going through. There is a mental battle that is being fought right alongside the physical one. I’ve said before that the emotions of this journey are sometimes the hardest part. These six words can do a great deal of damage that will require even greater work to overcome.
I have actually said this phrase myself. I have said it to my wife on more than one occasion when she was frustrated with her weekly weigh in. I meant it as a way to say, ''Hey, you are doing great. Don’t judge yourself by my results.'' However, in her moment of frustration and doubt, she heard, ''You aren’t ever going to catch up to me, so quit trying. I have an edge.'' She felt her own emotions were being dismissed. Instead of helping, I was actually compounding her frustration. At the same time, I was discrediting my own success.
Each experience is unique to the person it belongs to.
Whether men really do lose weight easier or not, please support the journey. Support the work that man is doing to change his life. Whether a woman loses weight slower that a man does, support the work she is doing to change her life.
Join me in refusing to utter this phrase any longer.
Have you received support on your journey to losing weight and reclaiming your health regardless of how long it took or the effort that was made to do so?
You may know by now that I started my weight loss journey on December 28th, 2009 with a goal of losing 60 pounds. I managed to lose 100 and I did it within one calendar year. I lost that weight by fueling my body with the rights foods and working hard-- very hard.
I’d like to share with you a phrase that I’ve heard during my journey: ''Yes, but men lose it easier.'' Although this phrase is only six words long, it can have a much more disastrous effect than it might seem. Have you ever heard these words while on your journey? Have you ever used those words to another person on a weight loss journey?
This phrase can be used as encouragement for some. For others it is used as an accusation, as a means of denial, as a crutch. It is the epitome of the double-edged sword. These words can cut like a knife, no question about it. I am certain that people who have uttered these words either to me or to another individual did NOT mean them in a harmful way. When a man is working hard and doing all things right and is finding success with his journey, why are folks so quick to knock his success with the phrase, ''Yes, but men lose it easier''? It is a complaint really, isn’t it? It isn't usually said in praise. Here is the deal: this phrase is hurtful. It can deflate all the sense of accomplishment that a man feels for the work that he has done. This phrase says that his work doesn’t count, that his struggles don't count. Chances are, that man will not give a complete picture of what he is going through. There is a mental battle that is being fought right alongside the physical one. I’ve said before that the emotions of this journey are sometimes the hardest part. These six words can do a great deal of damage that will require even greater work to overcome.
I have actually said this phrase myself. I have said it to my wife on more than one occasion when she was frustrated with her weekly weigh in. I meant it as a way to say, ''Hey, you are doing great. Don’t judge yourself by my results.'' However, in her moment of frustration and doubt, she heard, ''You aren’t ever going to catch up to me, so quit trying. I have an edge.'' She felt her own emotions were being dismissed. Instead of helping, I was actually compounding her frustration. At the same time, I was discrediting my own success.
Each experience is unique to the person it belongs to.
Whether men really do lose weight easier or not, please support the journey. Support the work that man is doing to change his life. Whether a woman loses weight slower that a man does, support the work she is doing to change her life.
Join me in refusing to utter this phrase any longer.
Have you received support on your journey to losing weight and reclaiming your health regardless of how long it took or the effort that was made to do so?
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Comments
Good blog post.
Jocelyn - 3/8/2012 7:09:06 PM
Basically, it made me feel like I had somehow cheated or had an unfair advantage and my overall success really isnt legitimate (even though I have been "on my own" for 8 months) Never mind the fact that I could undo a workout with one trip to the drive through and also the fact that my trainer was with me for 2 hrs a week, I was on my own for the other 166 hrs a week.
Frankly, I hear remarks like that, it is a telltale symptom of something deeper and it is more of a kneejerk reaction and something to hide behind.
While it is true that men have more muscle mass which assists in weight loss and also possess higher resting metabolic rates. Any man with a slightly moderate level of commitment can lose 20 lbs but if a man is to achieve significant weight loss, the chips, junk food and love affair with the remote will have to go. It takes hard work...always.... - 2/29/2012 9:09:59 PM
Yeah, your muscle build is in your favor, guys. The loss may be different, but the struggle is the same. - 2/29/2012 10:56:33 AM
- 2/28/2012 8:09:02 PM
Yeah, there's probably some jealousy when someone says that phrase, but the primary purpose is mostly to feel better about not having the similar results. In other words, it's not you, it's me. Don't take it personally. - 2/28/2012 1:50:37 PM
"Each experience is unique to the person it belongs to.
Whether men really do lose weight easier or not, please support the journey. Support the work that man is doing to change his life. Whether a woman loses weight slower that a man does, support the work she is doing to change her life."
- 2/28/2012 1:44:35 PM
The subject is so complex though. Everyone focuses on just "pounds" instead of body percentages. A man's loss of 27 pounds from 250+ might be the same as if my wife were to lose 12. My own weight loss has been by doing incredibly difficult things that most people (including my former self) are simply unable to do.
I can't speak to others' experience, but I can say that this is one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. - 2/28/2012 12:53:19 PM
You did an amazing thing, I don't want anyone to think I don't know that. But I have to wonder, he is only 20-35 lbs overweight and if he wouldn't go back to the soda he'd be at his ideal weight. - 2/28/2012 10:24:40 AM
Everyone deserves encouragement and that phrase is very negative. - 2/27/2012 11:12:47 PM
- 2/27/2012 11:05:38 PM
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