Staying Motivated, Tip #10: Reward Yourself at the Right Time for the Right Thing
By: Dean Anderson,
SparkPeople Blogger
3/3/2009 12:12 PM
: 90 comments
There's no doubt that rewarding desirable eating behaviors is a very good way for us humans to get ourselves to stick to healthy eating plans, even when we’d rather go for the gusto.
But not just any reward will do the trick. You have to be careful to reward yourself for the right things at the right time.
There are three very common mistakes people run into when they try to use rewards to motivate themselves. Read on to find out how you can avoid them.
One common mistake is to reward yourself for something other than your own behavior. The most common example of this is giving yourself a reward every time you reach some lower weight on the scale. This rarely works, in terms of helping you stick to your goals on a consistent basis.
The problem here is that you’re not reinforcing your own behavior—you’re rewarding the scale, which really couldn’t care less. Rewarding yourself for what the scale does is like trying to train a child to tie her own shoes by giving her shoes with velcro straps. It doesn’t work.
If you want your rewards to make it easier for you to stick to your goals, you need to reward yourself for for doing the things you need to do, not for outcomes that aren’t totally in your control. So, use rewards to reinforce specific behaviors like sticking to your calorie range today, actually doing the exercise you had planned, or successfully managing some problem that’s been getting in your way frequently.
The second common mistake people make is taking an all or nothing approach to rewards—i.e, only rewarding yourself when you do everything perfectly. This can be OK if the behavior you want to encourage is very simple and straightforward, but for a goal that involves several actions or decisions, or takes some time to learn and master, it’s almost always better to reward individual, progressive steps towards the ultimate goal, rather than focusing only on the final product.
For example, if you’re trying to change eating habits, you could focus on one problem area or meal at a time, rather than on having a “perfect day.” Start by rewarding yourself for getting off to a good start for the day with a healthy breakfast, or for skipping that extra snack you usually have in the evening, or for bringing your own lunch to work instead of going out for fast food.Then as that problem is resolved and the new behavior starts to become routine, add on another problem area or goal, and keep doing this until you’ve got a good routine going for all your daily meals and snacks. Success at establishing a complex behavior pattern like healthy eating has to be built up one step at a time, and you can use rewards to gradually “shape” your behavior in progressive steps--if you avoid the all-or-nothing tendency.
The third concern that needs careful attention is the timing and significance of rewards. When you’re first setting out to establish a new behavior, it’s important to reward that behavior as soon as possible—preferably as soon as you do it. The more time that goes by between behavior and reward, the less effective the reward will usually be. It’s also better to reward the behavior frequently at first. As the new behavior becomes more routine, and you start to find it desirable in itself, the timing and frequency of rewards should be reduced. Rewarding a behavior that you'd do anyway can actually make it harder to maintain.
The perceived value of the reward is also important. It needs to be significant enough that you’ll miss it or feel a little deprived if you don’t earn it, but not so important that not getting it causes other problems of its own. For example, if you really enjoy your morning cup of coffee, make that your reward for eating a healthy breakfast—you don’t get it on the days you don’t have the kind of breakfast you want to. But if missing your morning coffee means that you’re likely to punch out the boss or yell at the kids, find a different reward. If you have a favorite TV show you like to watch in the evening, make that your reward for getting your exercise in. Otherwise, you have to do your exercise instead of watching the show.
It’s never a good idea to make your reward something that’s inconsistent with the goal behavior you’re trying to establish—for example, don’t reward yourself for eating well by giving yourself a food treat that will blow your diet plan.
Do you use rewards to keep yourself on track? What works best for you?
But not just any reward will do the trick. You have to be careful to reward yourself for the right things at the right time.
There are three very common mistakes people run into when they try to use rewards to motivate themselves. Read on to find out how you can avoid them.
The problem here is that you’re not reinforcing your own behavior—you’re rewarding the scale, which really couldn’t care less. Rewarding yourself for what the scale does is like trying to train a child to tie her own shoes by giving her shoes with velcro straps. It doesn’t work.
If you want your rewards to make it easier for you to stick to your goals, you need to reward yourself for for doing the things you need to do, not for outcomes that aren’t totally in your control. So, use rewards to reinforce specific behaviors like sticking to your calorie range today, actually doing the exercise you had planned, or successfully managing some problem that’s been getting in your way frequently.
For example, if you’re trying to change eating habits, you could focus on one problem area or meal at a time, rather than on having a “perfect day.” Start by rewarding yourself for getting off to a good start for the day with a healthy breakfast, or for skipping that extra snack you usually have in the evening, or for bringing your own lunch to work instead of going out for fast food.Then as that problem is resolved and the new behavior starts to become routine, add on another problem area or goal, and keep doing this until you’ve got a good routine going for all your daily meals and snacks. Success at establishing a complex behavior pattern like healthy eating has to be built up one step at a time, and you can use rewards to gradually “shape” your behavior in progressive steps--if you avoid the all-or-nothing tendency.
The perceived value of the reward is also important. It needs to be significant enough that you’ll miss it or feel a little deprived if you don’t earn it, but not so important that not getting it causes other problems of its own. For example, if you really enjoy your morning cup of coffee, make that your reward for eating a healthy breakfast—you don’t get it on the days you don’t have the kind of breakfast you want to. But if missing your morning coffee means that you’re likely to punch out the boss or yell at the kids, find a different reward. If you have a favorite TV show you like to watch in the evening, make that your reward for getting your exercise in. Otherwise, you have to do your exercise instead of watching the show.
It’s never a good idea to make your reward something that’s inconsistent with the goal behavior you’re trying to establish—for example, don’t reward yourself for eating well by giving yourself a food treat that will blow your diet plan.
Do you use rewards to keep yourself on track? What works best for you?
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Comments
Also, I do use food as a reward -- but it's a quality thing. For instance, if I'm sticking to a nutritional program, then I get to order the expensive tea, like Jasmine Silver Needles, or go out for expensive sushi, or buy expensive spices like saffron, or buy a really fancy, expensive chocolate truffle. Stuff that I can technically afford as an occasional treat, but don't usually buy because I'm frugal. Because they're expensive, it feels really decadent, like a real reward, to get them, but I don't overindulge, (unlike rewarding myself with a bowl of ice cream). - 1/12/2010 3:58:41 AM
"My philosophy is that weight loss is not a goal, but the result of healthy habits like a better diet and regular exercise. When you do step on the scale and don't see the reading you had hoped for, ask yourself these questions: Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Am I making healthy food choices most of the time? Am I exercising consistently? If you are, then trust that your body is making positive changes, and the results will come."
Looking at it that way, yes, reward yourself simply for sticking with it--drinking your water, eating good-for-you foods, exercising consistently, sleeping more/better, etc.--instead of based on a scale-reading, and in that sense, I agree with you, but at the same time, as RevAngel before me pointed out, we do have weight loss goals and the very fact that we're seeing lower numbers on the scale means we've been doing something (likely, many things) right. And that's absolutely worth rewarding and celebrating. It works for me, and I'll keep using the scale this way. - 3/6/2009 1:02:04 PM
The concept of rewarding ourselves along the way is a constant reminder that life is process, not perfection- that we are doing well by doing right, that we can be winning by doing...
My rewards are constant these days- tieing my shoes, hiking long hikes, biking for hours. So many of my rewards are now intrinsic- but that is WAY into this process, not the early stages. At first the sheer amount of weight I needed to lose was overwhelming, and I needed the nudges that I could do this major change. I still go to the hot tubs, give myself new biking shorts, and in other ways celebrate my new life.
CELEBRATION TIME, COME ON!
Posted to my Facebook... love this man! - 3/4/2009 10:38:31 PM
I think part the problems I run into when trying to think of rewards is that I've never been particularly excited over tangible things; my actual accomplishments serve as rewards in themselves; & a part of my strict upbringing ingrained the principle that happiness and satisfaction came from having few or no expectations.
As children, my brother and I were never rewarded with allowances, gifts, or other things for doing chores, getting good grades in school, graduations, etc. Even birthdays were no big deal ... Ma usually asked us what we wanted for a treat for dinner or dessert, and that was it. My brother always wanted a pie (didn't like cake), and my thing was usually canolli (an Italian pastry, also made as a cake).
And once I became self-sufficient and capable of earning a full-time wage, there comes a point in time when you really don't need anything -- or should I say any "things."
I lead a pretty simple life compared to most people as it is, so depriving myself of my favorite tv shows, music, reading and small intangibles for not sticking with a goal doesn't seem to work for me either.
I think maybe you need to write a part #11 for people like me, Coach!
Hopeless in Chicago,
Carli 8) - 3/4/2009 6:40:59 PM
I guess I'm just low-maintenance, because I believe the old saying - "Virtue is its own reward." I do mental 'happy dances' for seeing my SparkStreaks increase as I check off met goals for the day for making changes in my life like getting my 8 glasses of water or my 5-a-day fruits and veggies. That is motivation enough to succeed the next day then, as you said, set some new goals to work on making habits of. Getting written 'attagirls' and SparkGoodies from my teammates are also wonderful rewards. I think I'm just finally learning to be good to myself and the improvement in health is my great reward. - 3/4/2009 3:04:52 PM
If I have an engagement coming up, and I want something new to wear to it, I will only buy it for myself if I have reached the goal I set for myself to earn it.
I am elated by both the new item of clothing and the weight loss.
It's a win win situation for me.
If I did not stick with my weight loss program or exercise, I don't reward myself and go to the event in clothing I already own. It helps me reflect on my mistake, and gives me the incentive to get back on program!
- 3/4/2009 9:43:59 AM
I am going to do things different with rewarding myself
Thank You! - 3/4/2009 9:18:04 AM
Then the next time I go to reward myself, it doesn't work, because part of me knows I'm not really going to reward myself anyway.
My current goal is to meet my 10% goal (26 lbs) for Weight Watchers, but I've been working on that since May. *sigh* That iPod touch is still out of reach. - 3/4/2009 9:09:33 AM
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